idk why people get so hung up over being left on read? I mean, I know people leave read receipts on if they’re pissed at you but like?? Wouldn’t u rather know someone’s pissed than continue to annoy them?
ok I promised I wouldn’t post about Life after the last one, and I won’t properly, but what’s up w/ people who stomp around the house when they’re mad at you because they’re aware you’re there, despite the fact that you heard them behaving normally in another room 5 seconds ago.
did you think the two days of total silence was too vague so you have to clip clop around the floor and open cupboard doors but loudly in case I forgot
did you forget, but then seeing a glimpse of me fills you with so much rage that gOD I HATE THIS CUTLERY DRAWER NOW
Who chose batjokes as the ship name when the jokeman is far superior (I don't even ship it I just thought of this). Fuckin batclown. Just straight ICP like so many better options than fuckin batjokes
well, batjokes implies that there are jokes about bats, and being honest joking about bats is a concept i can get behind. they have weird tongues, and strange, odd little bat fingers. mysterious, these bats.
unfortunately that is not the content i am getting, which is deeply saddening
i understand. you found paradise in tumblr. you had some good posts, you made a good blog, the blacklist protected you and the tags were plentiful. you didn’t need a friend like me. but now you come to me and you say “outofcontextarthur, they’re not monkeys, muffy was a hippo”. but you don’t ask with respect. you don’t offer friendship. you don’t even think to call me godfather. instead, you come into my blog on the day my daughter is to be married and y
How to Have a Highly Successful Social Reputation When You Have Severe Anxiety to The Point of Agoraphobia:
go to one in three events you are invited to, as long as you are given that invitation over a week in advance to prepare,
tell people beforehand that you have to leave by a specific time due to Excuse (even ‘early morning tomorrow’ works if you inform them immediately upon receiving invitation), stick to this departure time at all costs, regardless of events,
pretend to be Hannibal Lecter when you get there.
you must at all times be amiable and charming so people don’t realize you are a serial killer
you can hang out by the food and compliment it and ask questions about ingredients and stuff
you can focus on making subtle cannibalism puns throughout the night (and yes this does help)
you are interested in people, and learning about those people, because you have that whole ‘choosing victims’ thing going on and also have to think of an ironically beautiful way to kill them
THEY CAN NEVER KNOW YOU ARE PRETENDING YOU’RE HANNIBAL LECTER, so you better use a cover story of being yourself when they ask questions. quickly deflect back to your target conversation partner.
do you have any more phichit headcanons to share w the world
I’ve been kicking around a joke that isn’t quite right yet to the effect that Yuri thinks Phichit has a thing for hockey players but actually the hockey team had to make a rule that if you had a gay crisis over Katsuki’s mouth, you had to buy his roomie a nice dinner or a week’s groceries. Phichit has shepherded so many hockey players through gay crisises.