can i hold that for you sir

Imagine Moriarty taking you shopping for clothes (changing room smut)

Moriarty X Reader


Mirrors


“I like this one,” Jim holds up a black mini skirt. “And this.” He picks up a black, low-cut top. Very sexy. Not your kind of thing really, but Moriarty gets what Moriarty wants when it comes to you, so you smile and agree. “Let’s go try them, come on.” He takes your hand and leads you to the changing room.

“I’m afriad you can’t go in there with her, Sir.” The woman tells him, as you walk past her to the cubicles.

“I’m afraid it’s the only way you’re going to get any money.” He smiles what is a seemingly charming smile, but you know it better. It’s his don’t-fuck-with-me-darling smile. You’ve seen it enough. The woman sighs and turns away, giving up, so you and Jim go into the room that’s furthest away from anyone else. Once he locks the door, you look around. The room is completely mirrored, you can see yourself from every angle, reflected infinitely from mirror to mirror. Jim looks at you and you smile a little. “Turn around, beautiful.” He tells you, and you do so immediately. He slowly unzips the back of your dress and it falls to the ground. His lips press against your neck and you shiver, partially due to the sudden change in body temperature, and partially due to the contact with him. By his order, you’re not wearing any lingerie today, so you’re completely naked, staring at yourself in the mirror, with him behind you, staring at you in the mirror too. You smile a little. “Dear God, you are a beautiful specimen, aren’t you?” His eyes drink you in, every little exposed inch of your body. Regardless of your flaws, he will always find you stunningly beautiful, perfect.

“Thank you, darling.” You giggle lightly as his hands run over your breasts and tugs at your now-hard nipples. He kisses your neck, biting down softly. You moan a little, and lean your body back into him. He moves his mouth to your collar bone and kisses wetly across it. “Oh, Jim…” You whisper. He gently pushes you against the mirror, so your face is up against it.

“Stay there, my beautiful girl.” He reaches down, you watch him in the mirror, and gets the skirt. “Try it on, baby.” He hands it to you. You put it on slowly, purposfully bending all the way down, giving him a full view of your ass.

“Do me up, babe?” You ask, tease in your voice. He zips you up and looks at your reflection.

“That’s lovely on you.” He smiles. The skirt is very, very short – of course he’d like it. You sigh and laugh.

“Thank you, dear.” You suddenly feel his slap on your butt. You gasp. “Jim!”

“Y/N!” He mocks your tone of voice with a grin. He pushes you against the wall once more, except this time in the corner, so that your hands are on both walls and you’re bent over. You hear his zipper and your breath hitches.

“Here?! Really?” You ask, your voice a loud whisper.

“Yes, really.” You watch his smile in the reflection. You move your hands lower down the walls so you have better support to hold your body. He smacks you again and you grit your teeth.

“Jim, you bad man…” You laugh lightly. You love how bad he is -  it’s a massive, massive turn on for you. You feel his erection press against your leg. Damn.

“You love me really.”

“I do.”

“Good girl.” He strokes your ass and kisses down your spine. His member teases your hole and your heart is in your mouth. “I’m so hard for you.”

“You should be.” You retort, making him smile.

He suddenly fills you. You don’t expect it, so you shout out. “Shush, shush, baby. We’re in a shop, remember?” He asks, laughing.

“Oh yeah….” You giggle and as you move, you feel your body move against his penis, moving it further inside of you. He then begins properly, going in and out, in and out, slowly. Damn, it feels good, you feel so full – full of him, this man that you love more than anything else. His one hand holds across your stomach, so he doesn’t fall, and the other goes further south, massaging your button almost mercilessly. His fingers spread you and enter you and you bite you lip trying not to shout out. He puts a third finger in you and you feel the stretch. Heat builds up inside you and each time he thrusts fully into you, you see stars. You both moan and groan and pant loudly, louder than you should in a public place.

“Cl-close?” He asks, his sweat dripping onto your back.

“Y-Y- Ah! Jim! Fuck!” You come without warning, and he does too, immediately after, shouting your name in one incoherent moan. You stay there for a moment, panting, and see the white substance dripping down your inner thigh slowly. You close your eyes and are vaguely aware of his hands on your leg.

“Lick.” He whispers, his fingers by your mouth. Upon further inspection, you see that he has collected some of his sperm on them. “Lick them, baby girl.” You grab his fingers and suck on them hard. You love how he tastes. “There’s my good girl.” He smiles against your bare skin, and stands you up properly, turning you around to kiss you passionately.

“YOU TWO GET OUT NOW!” A voice shouts from the other side of the door. You’ve been caught.

“What a shame…” Moriarty mutters, holding your new skirt out to look at it. “We didn’t even get a chance to try on the top.”



THE END

a paparazzo takes a shot of Jack and Bitty kissing

And Jack is still not out

While Jack freezes in panic and the guy turns around to leave-

‘Sir! Please wait!’ calls Bitty.

Paparazzo turns back, hoping for a shot of Zimmermann’s boyfriend.

‘Sir- I beg you, don’t publish this! My parents still don’t know I’m gay!’

Paparazzo hesitates. Bitty keeps going, his doe eyes getting bigger and wetter.

‘I’m from Georgia, sir, and my dad is a football coach, and they’re super conservative, see, and I’m scared they won’t let me back home if they ever learn, and I just wanted to wait until my Moomaw’s death because if I’m not able to see her again it would break my heart-’

The paparazzo, holding back his tears, deletes the pictures, in front of Bitty’s eyes. Bitty thanks him profusely, asking his name and noting his address so he can deliver a pie, no I assure you, sir, it would be my pleasure!

When they’re left alone again, Jack tries not to smile.

‘Bittle, your dad loves you, he told you last week when he invited both of us for Christmas. And your Moomaw is the epitome of health, she will outlive all of us.’

‘Well, I wouldn’t have to tell people that if you didn’t keep kissing me in public!’

‘But you look so lovely and kissable…’

‘And you are a menace, Mister Zimmermann. I have eight pies to bake this week, five!’

‘And you love having the Providence paparazzi in your little pocket, don’t you?’

‘They’re all my bitches and I play them like a fiddle. Come, now, we need to buy enough ingredients to bake pies for every single person in Rhode Island with a camera phone.’

litnerdhood  asked:

Oh man ur alfred+jason hc fucking kills me LIKE YES PLS ALFRED TEACHING JASON TO COOK BC JASON ASKED HIM (bc maybe if he's not good enough bruce is gonna kick him out and he can at least learn smth from alfred if he needs to go back to the streets)

“I can cook a little.”

“I’m sure, sir.”

“I just don’t know how to do all the…all the fancy stuff, y'know?”

“Potatoes are not very hard, once you get used to them.”

“Yeah, I just got stuff from a box. I’ve never peeled–hold on.”

“Please do not cut off your thumb, sir.”

“I’ll be all right, Alf.”

“Even so, I would prefer not to have to explain to Master Bruce that his child put in my custody has lost a thumb.”

“They call me 9-Fingered Giuseppe.”

Alfred shoots him a look, but cannot hide a smile when Jason snorts.

Moments pass while they peel, the only sounds from the kitchen being the plunk of potato skin in the sink.

“…Does he really–y'know…” Jason lowers his eyes. His eyelashes are dark against his skin. “Never mind,” he mutters, heat dusting his cheeks.

Alfred looks down at the messy head. “Yes,” he replies after a moment.

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

He does see you as his son, goes unsaid.

Jason smiles slightly, then yelps. “Ouch!”

“I warned you, Master Jason. Put it under the water and then put your hand above your head.”

Jason groans but follows instructions, holding his bleeding thumb above his head. Alfred goes to get a medkit and returns. There is a slight argument over hydrogen peroxide, but Jason’s thumb is bandaged soon enough.

“Can I still help?”

“May.”

“MAY I still help? I can peel with my other hand.”

“I could use the help with Thanksgiving this year. You may take the time to practice.”

“Thanksgiving? As in Thanksgiving Thanksgiving?”

“That would be the one, sir.”

“With a proper turkey and everything?”

“Yes, Master Jason.”

“That’s nuts! Just like TV! And I get to help?”

“Indeed.”

“This is crazy! I’ve never even–yowch!”

“Perhaps now would be a good time to take a break, sir.”

-

inspired by you ^.^

New titles for dear Evan Hansen songs

Anybody got a map?: idk how to parent, I think I’m doing it right

Waving through a window: The song that will be ruined by tone deaf pre teens singing it for every audition

For Forever: bromance and lying song 1

Sincerely me: bromance and lying song 2

Requiem: Angst

If I could tell her: Creepy kid uses a girl’s dead brother to get into her pants: the musical!

Disappear: lying song 3.

You will be found: aggressively crying on the floor because it’s too comforting

Sincerely me reprise: Sir not appearing in this cast recording

Break in a glove: the song everyone will skip because they missed the point of it entirely

Only Us: the soon to be over done love duet

Good for you: Angst 2 With everyone who wasn’t in the first angst song

Words fail: let’s see if you can hold your breath and crying at the same time for 5:51 minutes

So big so small: at this point I’m weeping on the floor in the fetal position

Finale: Do you still have tears, Ben sure does

What I say: I’m fine

What I mean: but why did Kylo Ren bridal carry Rey instead of just letting her fall to a heep on the forest floor?? Why didn’t he order the stormtroopers to take her to the shuttle? Was he holding her in his shuttle for the entire ride back to the ship??? Were the stormtroopers just like ‘uhhhh sir you can set the scavenger down’ and was he like ‘no’ and just sat down on the shuttle and had her in his arms as if she were some sleeping puppy while all the stormtroopers awkwardly coughed in the corner?? Like wtf Kylo??? How long did he hold her??? Did he strap her in the chair??? Was he just walking around the ship and passing by Hux with this unconscious girl dangling in his arms until someone said something?????

Your wedding day with Chris Evans would involve:

• Chris worrying about everything, but his brother is here to tell him he’s already a happy man and he’s going to marry the love of his life.
• Your mom crying when she sees you in your wedding dress, holding the bouquet.
• Being surprised that you’ve both left notes to one another, claiming your love once again.
• While walking down the aisle, Chris can’t take his eyes off you, smiling and your lower lip trembles as he is on the verge of tears.
• - “I promise you, I will take care of your daughter and maker her happy, sir.”
 - “You better, Evans. My eyes are on you.”
 - “Dad!”
• Never stopping smiling to each other and you both catch yourselves almost leaning to kiss before you are allowed to.
• Chris whispering you are very beautiful in your ear during the entire ceremony and day… and night. Actually, he can’t stop himself from saying it to everyone around him.
• When the rings pass through your fingers and you’re officially pronounced husband and wife, Chris pulls you to him in a longing kiss and you think the world around you can collapse, you would never feel anywhere safer than in his arms.
• Basically, you have to stop kissing because of Scott’s whistles and the groomsmen decide to join, leaving Chris blushing.
• His family being so proud and very happy he settles down with someone like you.
• Holding hands all the time, caressing your rings as a reminder this day isn’t a dream.
• The reception isn’t as you planned, but what you want more is here. Your families and friends are there to make the dinner very entertaining.
• Endless teasing from them during the best man’s speech. His best man doesn’t even hesitate to show some embarrassing and funny candid shots of you two.
• Chris calling you ‘Mrs. Evans’ with this adorable boyish grin on his face and you can’t help but kiss his cheek, giggling every time.
• - “Nice butt you have here, handsome.”
• Forehead kisses.
• Lots of fun and laughs.
• Lots of soft, slow and meaningful kisses.
• For the first dance, your husband brings you to his chest and holds you close. He loves the way the lights shine on your skin and the way you look at him.
• You almost step on his toes, but as a good dancer (like Lisa has taught him), Chris tells you that’s very cute and he definitely made the right choice, marrying you.
• The big party follows up and you just dance like nothing else matters in this world, never leaving each other more than five minutes.
• - “Is that real?”
 - “Y/N, we’re married. I’m the realest person you’ve ever met. And you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life.”
• You both try to stay sober because you want to remember every second of this night.
 - “Baby, stop drinking!”
 - “Yeah, Chris, remember what’s happening tonight!”
• Cutting the cake and sharing a piece together. This ends pretty dramatically funny.
• You keep twirling, dipping and moving your hips until you can’t feel your feet anymore.
• Scott wiggling his eyebrows, giving you a knowing look when you’re about to leave the reception to your house.
• Once at home with your husband, Chris sweeps you off your feet and carries you to your bedroom, gently settling you on the bed with his eyes glowing with pure love.


PERMANENT TAG LIST:
@feelmyroarrrr @gallifreyansass @defendors @ballerinafairyprincess @misschrisevans @always-an-evans-addict @kennadance14 @buckybarnesisalittleshit @helloitscrowley @captainamerica-ce @kiwi71281 @topthis808 @dead-lee-15 @the-daydreamer-girl @our-love-world @hellomissmabel - tell me if you’d like to be added. :)

“Bones Imagine” [2]


Prompt: Hi, I was wondering if you could make a second part to your “Avoiding a physical by hacking”. If you would rather not that’s fine to. @ninetynineredballoonsgoby

Word Count: 1,030

A/N: I just squeaked out 1,000 words.  So proud of myself.  If there are grammar mistakes, tell me, please.

Part 1


You have given up on trying to get out of McCoy’s grip.  You sighed and went limp, hoping he would put you down because of your weight.  Of course that didn’t happen, McCoy was extremely strong and was able to carry you all the way to the Medbay.  He strolled over to an open biobed and dropped you down on it, holding your shoulders to keep you from running away.

Keep reading

So where I work, you can’t ring groceries through the customer service desk. Lottery or tobacco only. We will ring through one or two items if someone is getting lottery/tobacco as well, but that’s it.

Yesterday I was at work, and it got super hectic. I was running both customer service and express, so I was a little frantic (I get really bad anxiety when lines start forming because I know people get upset). I would have five to seven people waiting on express and another three or four at customer service at all times.

So this one guy comes up to customer service and is patiently waiting his turn like everyone else. He has a head of lettuce but I assume he’s getting something else so I don’t say anything. Finally he gets up, I smile and ask what I can do for him. He simply smiles and holds up the lettuce.

Me: “Is that all you’re getting today sir?”

C: *doesn’t really answer, just smiles and stares at me*

Me: If that’s all you’re getting I’ll have to ask you to go through a regular till; this is lotto or tobacco only here. (We do have a sign up so it’s not like people can’t know this coming through)

C: *smile drops, slams down the lettuce* Well if you’d let me talk, I AM getting lottery!

Like geez bud, I gave you an opportunity to talk! I don’t have time to deal with this bullshit when I’ve got literally 12 other people waiting on me here. I can’t read your mind; speak up!

Stay (Victor Zsasz x Reader) - Fluff Drabble

Dear anon who asked for a comforting story with Zsasz. It isn`t much, but I hope this little drabble can help you in some way. I hope you feel better soon, lovely

- Gender Neutral -

Tags: @aya-fay @socktrollqueen @midnightschemesanddreams @taintedmarker @amandajuly81 @theamazing-bouncingferret @cnygma @sir-creepy @ellayf-of-ravenclaw

Warnings: Angst & Fluff, Sadness, Sorrow, Comforting Victor.

Keep reading

Reaction to: Their crush coming up to them with finger guns and saying “Sir, You’re under arrest for being too cute. Now, put your hands where I can hold them!”

(oml adorable)

Rowoon: Blushes so hard. Eventually, grabs your hand

Originally posted by candyuta

Dawon: Dramatically grabs your hand. Like, he spins around, kicks his leg up and grabs your hand

Originally posted by neweraidols

(dawon, your hair is stupid. I’m sorry but it is.)

Taeyang: Just straight up hugs you

Originally posted by sf9fantasy

Inseong: Stutters while trying to find something to say. You’d have to grab his hand

Originally posted by foxyins

Zuho: “Wait…What?” Is confused for a minute. Then, he gets it. He gets pretty awkward

Originally posted by sf9

Youngbin: “Um..Ok.” He doesn’t let go of your hand and follows you almost anywhere

Originally posted by sf9creators

Hwiyoung: His movements are sharp. He grabs your hand without saying a word. He like basically is your shadow for like a week

Originally posted by hwiyoungs

Chani: “Huh??? Uh…okay.” Just goes with it. Confused as to if you actually think he’s cute (boi everyone think you cute)

Originally posted by kangchaneee

Jaeyoon: “Yes, sir!” He excitedly grabs your hand, but not before saluting like a soldier

Originally posted by fromthestothey

-Ye Jin

Sugar on Top - Chapter 2

Summary: When baking prodigy Phil Lester finally manages to enter the prestigious culinary school of his dreams, he doesn’t account for the fact that one very famous, very rich, and very pretty heir named Dan Howell will become his culinary rival.

Genre: Baking, AU, School, Rivalry, Enemies-to-Something-Else

Warnings: none

A/N: Hello again! Here’s the second chapter to Sugar on Top. It deals with a lot of background information, so I hope you guys can excuse the repetitive info, as all of our characters start putting things together. This chapter is to set the tone and setting of our story, as well as to give us an idea of Dan and Phil’s opinions of their classmates. Hope you enjoy! Based on this post.

<< Read Chapter One

Read Chapter Three >>


Keep reading

Ok so I realized something!!!

This is all from “The Adventure of Charles Augustus Milverton” by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

From John’s POV:

1- “He seized my hand in the darkness and led me swiftly…”

2- “Still holding my hand in one of his he opened a door…”

3- “-I don’t like it,- he whispered, putting his lips to my very ear.”

4- “From the pressure of Holmes’s shoulder against mine…”

5- “I felt Holmes’s hand steal into mine and give me a reassuring shake”

6- “I was about to spring out, when I felt Holmes’s cold, strong grasp upon my wrist”

7- “I understood the whole argument of that firm, restraining grip…”

Conclusion:

Originally posted by drool-is-love

3

Y/N: “oh my…. I’m so sorry sir”

Newt: “it’s no problem, I know how nifflers can be. That’s why I put a lock on my case in the first place”

Y/N: “you did, huh? So you have encountered other nifflers I assume”

Newt: “more than you’d like to believe……I seem to stumble upon magical creatures rather frequently”

Y/N: “are there more creatures in America?”

Newt: “well you have…..”

Y/N: “hold that thought, how about I buy you a cup of coffee for taking care of niffler and you tell me all about them”

Newt: “are you sure? Normally I don’t go out and get coffee with other people”

Y/N: “I insist, I’m sure people would love to get coffee with you”

Newt: “No, not really. I annoy people”

One Too Many

Prompt: Bucky finds out everybody has a picture of him, but why?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Genre: I honestly don’t know what I’m writing

Word Count: 1,156

Author’s Note: This was supposed to be a short drabble, but it somehow turned into 1.1K words LOL. I’m sorry for not putting something out in over 3 weeks, but hopefully this will hold you over until I can write the next chapter of Relocated! This is based on a true story while I was printing @writingbarnes‘s Bucky blob to give to Seb lmao

Originally posted by enochianess


“That’ll be $58.92, sir.” The cashier waited patiently as Clint pulled out his wallet and retrieved his credit card from the card slot, handing it to her. Bucky stood on Clint’s right, hands stuffed in his jeans pockets when something caught his eye. He snatched Clint’s wallet from his hands, earning him a hissed “hey!”

Bucky stared at the object in the clear pocket of Clint’s wallet with wide eyes.

“C’mon, let’s go,” Clint said, his head tilting towards the exit and his two hands occupied with the bags of groceries.

As they walked out into the parking lot, Bucky spoke up. “Why is there a picture of me in your wallet?”

His friend merely shrugged and stated matter-of-factly, “You’re family now, aren’t ya?”

With the groceries in the car, they headed home and Bucky thought nothing more of it besides the fact that Clint was sweet.

Keep reading

3

Hello, Again

[Imagine Joker finding out Harley has a kid (AKA You)]

Hello, it’s me
I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time’s supposed to heal ya
But I ain’t done much healing

“J-Joker sir, we um..we found her.”

Those words caused him to freeze in his seat. Fingers gripping the leather for a moment. He released his hold, breathing out a deep breath as a smile curled onto his lips.

He was going to get his girl back.

Hello, can you hear me?
I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet

He’s thought about this day for seven years.

There’s such a difference between us
And a million miles

It was his fault. He knew that deep down inside, but he’d never say it. Never think it. All he knew was that he needed her. Even if it was clear she didn’t need him.

Hello from the other side
I must have called a thousand times
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done
But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I’ve tried
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart
But it don’t matter. It clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore

The house was small, yellow, and the yard was littered with a few toys. He refused to think about that aspect. Refused to believe what his heart screamed to be true.

Hello, how are you?
It’s so typical of me to talk about myself. I’m sorry
I hope that you’re well
Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened?

His fingers gripped the steering wheel. His eyes never leaving the small house as he waited. He needed to know for sure that this was her’s. He couldn’t risk making a mistake. It’s been too long and there was so much they still had to do.

And it’s no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time

Harley Quinn. The name sent chills down the man’s spine. He knew everything about her from the colors in her eyes to the red in her cheeks. And the woman exiting out of the small, black car wasn’t her.

“No…No…No!” He slammed against the steering wheel angrily spitting out the words.

It wasn’t Harley–no–it was Harleen.

Her skin wasn’t pure white anymore. Back to it’s normal, fair color. Her hair no longer had pink or blue, but a darker shade of blonde. She wore her black, rimmed glasses and a plain, white shirt and skinny jeans.

Joker gripped the steering wheel, breathing deeply as he tried remembering how great the woman was.

Then her heard it.

The small shout.

“Mommy!”

So hello from the other side (other side)
I must have called a thousand times (thousand times)
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done
But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside (outside)
At least I can say that I’ve tried (I’ve tried)
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart
But it don’t matter. It clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore

A child came barreling out of the backseat of the car. Harley–Harleen–held her arms out for them. She held them tightly and picked them up, smiling. She looked happy.

“Y/N!” Harley answered back with the same excitement, kissing the child all over.

“Ew!” The child scrunched up their nose in disgust, rubbing away the kisses with a fit of giggles.

Harleen giggled with the child and walked up the pavement and into the house.

Hello from the other side (other side)
I must have called a thousand times (thousand times)
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done
But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside (outside)
At least I can say that I’ve tried (I’ve tried)
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart
But it don’t matter. It clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore

“Was it ‘er, boss?”

“No.” He growled out the word, pushing past the goons and into his office, slamming the door behind him.

REQUESTEE: quinnes-wagner
DATE: AUG. 14 2016
NOTES: Tf was this
Much angst tho

WHO DO YOU BELONG TO?
  • *During a scene * Kitten= Me
  • Master: Who does this pussy belong to? *thrusts hard and deep*
  • Kitten: You Sir. *holding back a moan*
  • Master: Who do these breasts belong to? *grope at them*
  • Kitten: You Sir. *gasps*
  • Master: Does that mean that this sexy ass is mine too? *smacks my ass*
  • Kitten: *moans* Yes Sir!
  • Master: Who do you belong to? *slides hand around throat*
  • Kitten: You sir, I belong to you! *anticipate the hand tightening*
  • Master: You are a dirty little fucktoy. *thrusts faster, and as far as he can go and tightening his grip on my throat*
Got7 Reaction To Someone Hitting On Their Girlfriend

JB

“Hold up there, sir. This young lady is already taken”


Mark

*Walks up to you and stares at the guy long enough for him to get the memo and walk away leaving Mark quite satisfied with himself*


Jackson

*Sarcastic voice: on*
“Oh, how cute, sweetheart. You’re being hit on even with your boyfriend standing right beside you”


JR

“Hello, were you bothering my girlfriend while I was gone? I’m back so you can leave now”


Youngjae

*Walks over to you cooly and grabs your hand while glaring at the guy*


Bambam

“I know I look young and all, but I’m her boyfriend, so quit trying”


Yugyeom

“Honeyyyy~ Is this man bothering you?”


[ MORE GOT7 REACTIONS ]

I was raised to show respect. I was taught to knock before I open a door. Say hello when I enter a room. Say please and thank you, and to have respect for my elders. I’d let another person have my seat if they need it. Say ‘yes sir’ and ‘no sir’, and help others when they need me to, not stand on the sidelines and watch. Hold the door for the person behind me, say ‘excuse me’ when it’s needed and to love people for who they are and not for what I can get from them and most importantly, I was also raised to treat people exactly how I would like to be treated by others. It’s called respect.
—  Keanu Reeves
No chimichangas, No Thank You
  • Wade Wilson: Petey, you're gonna abso-FUCKING-LUTELY LOVE THIS PLACE!!! I swear to god almighty they make the best, most perfect chimichangas you have ever had in your entire life.
  • Peter Parker: [hums an affirmative, holding Wade's hand as they cross the street to the restaurant] You're gushing, Wade!
  • Wade Wilson: Only because this place deserves it!!!
  • Peter Parker: It will be nice to have real food for once! [slides into a booth]
  • Wade Wilson: [continues to gush until the waiter delivers drinks they ordered] May we please have two of your finest chimichangas?
  • Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry, sirs! We no longer serve those anymore. Not enough people were buying them.
  • Peter Parker: I'm sorry, Wade! But we can order sketching else. Let's see here-- [picks up the menu, about to take a sip of his drink]
  • Wade Wilson: [stands up and pulls his boyfriend's drink back] DO NOT TAKE A SIP OF THAT COKE, PARKER!!! WE ARE NOT PAYING A CENT TO THIS ESTABLISHMENT!! I PROMISED YOU CHIMICHANGAS AND WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO MAKE THIS KIND OF GRAVE MISTAKE!
  • Peter Parker: [covers face with his hands] Wade, it's okay!!!! Let's just go!! [starts herding him out of the restaurant repeating strings of apologies to the people around them after surreptitiously placing some money on the table]