can i have ur number

anonymous asked:

Ok so I was at a party with my friend (terrible party full of underage kids drinking, we had to drive so many home) and I'm standing in a corner, fucking around on my phone (hello social anxiety) and this /super/ drunk kid slumps against the wall next to me, slurring something that roughly translated to "can I have ur number?" I looked that lil shit dead in the eyes and said "Dude, what the fuck are you talking about? I don't have a phone?" (Cont.))

(cont.)) and he just had this look of pure terror on his face before he literally ran away from me. I found out the next day that apparently the last time he was drinking he got drunk enough to hallucinate and had to go get his stomach pumped. He was also grounded for a solid four months after, so because of me fucking with a drunk kid, he not only didn’t drink anymore that night but also had the good sense scared into him to get a ride home from someone else. I’m saving lives one at a time


That was wild from start to finish

Boyfriend Series; Jackson Wang

he makes me so emo here we go

  • he probably uses dumb ass pick up lines he’s that type don’t lie to urselves
  • “i seem to have lost my phone number, can i have yours?” 
  • and ur just kinda like hnnnnnnng bc ??? who is thi S he is cute but also leave me alone i dont kno u
  • honestly jackson punching me and my entire family in the face would hurt less than dating him.
  • he is a meme
  • he would probably send u texts with outdated memes like “lol have u seen this it’s so funny” an d it’s the “what’s better than this?? guys bein dudes” and ur just like yes i have jackson actually so has everyone else
  • he would try to teach you mandarin or cantonese and ur really into it and genuinely trying to learn it but when the tables turn and u try to teach him ur language (if it aint english) he’d be like “hey let’s do smth else like go to jamba juice”
  • constantly!!! ask!! u!!! if!! u!! love!!! him!!! bc!!! he!!! knows!!! it!!! makes!! you!!! blush!!! and he really likes it when u blush
  • if u 2 were playing a video game together he would never ever ever let u win 
  • but when u genuinely win he’s be upset like ????!!! no how but lowkey be like “atta girl”
  • woudl probably call you baby more than ur actual name
  • he seems like a rlly clingy guy??? im here for it
  • sometimes he’ll call u when he’s on tour even tho he knows it’s midnight where u are just so he can here ur voice
  • probably gets hELLA cheesy when it’s late like !!!
  • “baby look at the sky if i ever feel too far away from you just remember that at this moment we’re looking at the same sky and we’re talking and god it’s almost like you’re here with me”
  • and then he’d forget about it the next day but you wouldn’t 
  • and you would probably blackmail him w it like “hey jackson remember that one monologue u had abt the sky” and he would shut u down so fkn quick lmfao
  • when he realized he loved u he’d be v nervous around u and prob wouldn’t wait too long to tell u 
  • you’d be like “bruh y tf r ur hands shaking all i did was kiss u” and he’s the type to straight up be like “im so in love with you” bc he literally can’t think of anything else at that moment
  • i think he’d do anything in his power to make u laugh
  • think bad jokes r funny??? he’d google a whole list of em
  • i don’t think he’d be too smooth when he proposes to u
  • i think he’d try to plan something really romantic but would probably say “marry me” when yall were having sex OR when u made some bomb ass food
  • and you’d be like?? what excuse me and he’d be like “nah u didnt hear me right" and make the dumbest excuse but youd know………
  • remember that scene from hot rod where andy samberg was like “you look pretty!” and isla fisher was like “what” and he was like “I SAID U LOOK SHITTY GOODNIGHT DENISE” because that is jackson 200% just imagine it
  • but anywyas just imagine sex w this man for just a sec and tell me that u r not cryin at least a lil bit
  • a  lot of ppl are goin to disagree but i dont think he likes being called daddy?? lmfao i feel like if u called him that he’s find it awkward and would probably laugh
  • this is getting long why turn back now
  • i see him as being rlly dominate and liking biting/scratching 
  • OR he’d be really into lazy sex u kno the kind when u just woke up and he’s too tired to actually do anything but ya both want each other so he makes u do all the work
  • there is no inbetween
  • also!!! he’d want u to be best friends w the guys especially mark but he didn’t really think it through bc when jackson isn’t around mark will tell u things like
  • “he really really really loves you ur his phone background and when you texted him back the first time he asked me like 30 times what he should reply with”
  • and you’d just be like ?!? my nervous bab he comes off as so confident but u tell me otherwise
  • he’d genuinely love being around you like he’d prefer to stay @ ur place rather than the dorm and he’d rather eat w u than the boys and he’s just boyfriend material please take care of him

swingnmiss  asked:

hey cutie, can i have ur number? ;)

oh my fucking god i didn’t recognize ur icon and i thought u were a mutual ……. i was so confused i was like?? “i have a boyfriend already!!;; im rly sorry!!” god honey fling me into the sun

“you enjoy telling our kids to this day that you caught my eye and swept me off my feet in one go wearing a stupid, hideous bear costume” au


- dean being like ‘prove u aren’t seth’ and roman sends a shirtless selfie and dean’s like ‘damn can i get ur number’ and roman’s like ‘you apparently already have it dumbass’

- roman somehow becoming fond of dean in like an hour and even offering to give dean the ride he needs (PUN NOT INTENDED I SWEAR) but dean’s like ‘nah man i gotta kick seth’s ass for leaving me here anyway’

- dean managing to get back to his dorm only to run into roman (literally) and being like ‘whoa it’s you’ and roman being like ‘no fucking way’

- then dean trying to drunkenly seduce roman 

- and it works

- and roman takes him back to his room (single rooms ftw) but dean passes out on roman’s bed before they can even do anything

- then roman has to try to cram himself into the tiny bed with dean and even though it’s really uncomfortable it’s worth it bc dean is super clingy in his sleep and clings to roman

- and when dean wakes up he’s hungover af but there’s a really cute guy (roman) next to him and he doesn’t know who the guy is but he immediately offers him a blowjob

i could go on all day SOMEONE STOP ME


  • “this wedding is so boring, no one is dancing, everyone looks miserable and its unacceptable so im gonna try and bust a move on the dance floor and encourage people to come out here with me to get this party started and while im trying to drag people out you see me struggling and trying so you come join me with ur horrible dance moves (i love them) and u dance with me and help me get people to get on the dance floor which ends in success bc people are pouring in and we end up dancing with eachother the rest of the night and u are super fucking hot can i have ur number so we can do this again and maybe make out later” au
  • “im at my ex’s wedding and im miserable idk why i came but i did and it was a bad idea so im dwelling at the bar in my sorrows planning on getting very drunk and u are the really goodlooking bartender that i end up talking too and you are really nice and it turns out the wedding wasn’t that bad afterall considering once it was over you were driving me home with your kiss burning on my cheek and the following year im the one sending out the invitation to the ex that im getting married to his wedding bartender so hA im also v happy so thanks asshole ex” au
  • “you are the host of the wedding entertainment and when the dancing/DJ segment comes in yOU KEEP DRAGGING ME OUT ON THE DANCE FLOOR and everytime you saw me sitting back down yOU AGAIN DRAGGED ME OUT why are you doing this to me i want to sit my feet hurt and i feel awkward dancing while you are an amazing dancer leaVE ME TO WATCH EVERYONE DANCE AND DWELL IN LONELINESS And oh why are you bringing me out to slow dance??? oh nO- ok fine yes your hands feel nice in mine and i like being in your arms so this is ok” au
  • “You are in the band at the wedding and you drag me out to sing with you even though this isn’t really a duet but i guess u don’t care (of course u had to pick me why am i not surprised, sad i had to put down my martini im not drunk enough for this) and wE JUST HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL’D THIS SHIT WE SOUND FANTASTIC TOGETHER AND EVERYONE LOVES US I LOVE YOU- i mean i love singing too yeah singing. also ur rlly hot.” au
  • “im the wedding planner of this wedding and im super stressed bc everything isn’t going the way its supposed too and the bride is my best friend and her to be husbands best man/woman is annoying the fuck out of me acting like everythings fine and noTHING IS FALLING APART WHEN IT IS. MONTHS OF PLANNING ALL GOING DOWN THE DRAIN AND HE’S MOCKING ME AND DRINKING FUCKING BEER WHILE I HAVE A BREAK DOWN AND- wait did he really just manage to fix half these problems and make this wedding out to be one of the best i’ve ever been too??? and is he actually doing everything he can to make sure im having fun and not worrying about things??? iS HE ACTUALLY GRABBING MY FACE AND KISSING ME AT THE END OF THE NIGHT???? wow like i said; best wedding i’ve been too” au