Advocates for Chaos
“You might be wondering why I’ve gathered you all here,” Wilford Warfstache places both hands palms-down on the table before him and grins at the several other figments seated before him.
Anti glitches in his seat. “I was promised pizza!”
“And you brought me here at gunpoint,” Peevils says, crossing her arms over her chest. “Not that I mind.” She shrugs and winks at Wilford, who shudders.
Natemare kicks his feet up on the table and leans back in his seat. “And I didn’t think you even liked me.” He grins at Wilford and cocks his head to the side. “Frankly, I’m flattered.”
Bim fixes his glasses and glances around at the other Egos at the table, somewhat skittish. “And I um… well, I’m not really sure why I’m here. I mean, I am Bim Trimmer, but you guys are… are…”
Wilford raises an eyebrow at him. “Are what?”
Bim presses his lips together into a thin line. “Never mind, I retract my previous statement in the interest of not dying.” He looks down at his folded hands on the table, and Wilford nods.
MadPat tinkers with an alarm clock attached to a bundle of TNT and doesn’t even look up as he says, “I’d like to point out that I’m on a time limit here and would not like to be held up much further.” His eyes cut upwards to Wilford, “So please tell us why we’re here already.”
Wilford wiggles his mustache. “Esteemed guests, friends, enemies, I’ve brought you here today… in the name of chaos.”
Anti’s pointed ears prick up, and the glitch leans in. “’m listening.”
Peevils rolls her eyes. “Oh, please.”
Wilford makes a face at her and goes back to his prepared speech. “For too long, those of us with a knack for the unnatural have been suppressed, or worse, left to our own devices. In such situations we tend to be a bit,” Wilford brushes his hair back with a smile, “lethal.”
Bim clears his throat. “Um, I really don’t think that I…”
“CAN IT, TRIMMER! AND LET ME FINISH!” Wilford straightens his bowtie as Bim clams up again and breathes a slow sigh to calm himself down. “Now, it has come to my attention that ‘murdering’ is considered ‘illegal’ and therefore, ‘shouldn’t be a recreational activity.’ So, I’ve decided to put my skills to a more appropriate use, and that’s why I’ve gathered you all here today.”
MadPat sets his bomb aside with a sigh and leans back in his chair. “You brought us all together because we tend to cause trouble. Fine, I get that. But what exactly is the purpose here? Are we going to go out and solve crimes? Prank people? I need something a little more concrete than ‘recreational chaos that doesn’t involve murder’ before I commit.”
Wilford squints at him and mutters something under his breath. “I had hoped that maybe some of you would be a little forthcoming with ideas considering that I did the work in getting you all here together despite the egregious differences in schedules, Mister I-just-cancelled-my-sixth-game.”
Mad jumps up and grabs his bomb. “Well, I think that’s enough
for me. I’ll be leaving before this explodes.”
Natemare groans. “See, this is why you can never have any fun. You suck the fun right out of everything. I like Wilford’s idea!”
Wilford places a hand over his heart and looks genuinely flattered, but Peevils laughs and gets up from the table. “I’m with the nerd. You’ll need to give me a much better reason than ‘chaos’ to commit my precious time.” She bats her eyes up at MadPat who seems mildly offended that she called him a nerd, but it’s not like he can deny it.
Anti pouts and glitches around into different chairs before settling back into his own seat. “This sucks! I wanted to destroy stuff!”
Bim gets up and inches towards the door, sees the way that Mad and Peevils are looking at him, and inches back. “And I’m extremely uncomfortable at the moment, so I’d really like to leave now.”
Wilford fluffs his hair, making it go wild, and sighs in exasperation. “Well, fine. Never mind that I put hours of work into this!”
Peevils screeches all of sudden, and Mare laughs as his purple mist slithers away from her. “YOU!” She screams. “What did you do?”
Mad shakes his bomb as he explains. “His mist creates hallucinations of one’s deepest fears.” He tilts his head to the side, trying to see into her eyes. “What did you see?”
Peevils throws her hands out towards Natemare, and the figment disappears and reappears inside the reflective glass of the table, smashing his fists against the surface. She wiggles her fingers at him. “Maybe you’ll think twice next time before scaring a girl, huh?”
Mare snarls at her before throwing his weight against the glass just as Bim tries to bend it to let him out. The result is a splintering explosion of glass and light, and when the dust settles, everyone is looking around, trying to figure out what just happened. Mad holds up his hands. “It wasn’t me!”
Wilford peeps out from behind the potted plant he ducked behind and looks around at them. “Maybe this was a mistake…”
Just as he says this, Dark bursts into the room, and Wilford expects him to start yelling about how he can’t trust Wilford to do anything without blowing something up blah, blah, blah. But instead, the black and white Ego rushes over to Wilford, eyes alight with fear and concern. “Are you ok? I heard a blast, and I thought somebody must’ve gotten hurt…”
Wilford’s jaw drops open. “Oh goodness giggly gooses, what on Earth did we just do?”