can i have her for christmas

Deadpool (2016) Sentence Starters
  • "Shit... did I leave the stove on?"
  • "You're my hero!"
  • "No, no, no, THAT I ain't."
  • "I had another Liam Neeson nightmare."
  • "You know, they made three of those movies. At some point you have to wonder if he's just a bad parent."
  • "What the SHIT?"
  • "I'm gonna wait out here, okay?"
  • "Fake laughter. Hiding real pain."
  • "I'm about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late 90s."
  • "Yeah, technically, this is murder."
  • "Love is blind, ____."
  • "This shit's gonna have nuts in it."
  • "You're a lovely lady/man, but I'm saving myself for ____."
  • "That's why I brought him/her."
  • "Do you like what you see?"
  • "Your face is the stuff of nightmares."
  • "Like a testicle with teeth."
  • "You will die alone."
  • "You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado."
  • "So, am I suppose to just smile and wave you out the door?"
  • "Think of it like spring cleaning."
  • "Life is an endless series of trainwrecks with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness."
  • "Finish fucking her the fuck up."
  • "Language, please."
  • "Suck a cock!"
  • "I'd go with you, but... I don't want to."
  • "If your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?"
  • "Maximum effort."
  • "I'd say that you sound like an infomercial. But not a good one, like Slap Chop, more Shake Weight-y."
  • "Do you want any clothes that are not monochromatic? Have fun at your midnight showing of Blade II."
  • "Listen ___, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much."
  • "Wanna get fucked up?"
  • "Have you decided what you're gonna say to her?"
  • "Fuck me!"
  • "I don't have time for your goody two-shoes bullshit right now!"
  • "Why such a douche this morning?"
  • "Why don't you do us all a favor and shut the fuck up."
  • "Today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo."
  • "Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you."
  • "You can't buy love, but you can rent it for three minutes!"
  • "That's the shit emoji. You know the turd with the smiling face and the eyes. I thought it was chocolate yogurt for so long."
  • "You're really gonna fuck this up for me?"
  • "You've got something in your teeth."
  • "Do you have an off switch?"
  • "We have everything we need now."
  • "I swear to God, I will find you in the next life and I'm gonna boom-box Careless Whisper outside your window."
  • "Ever had a cigarette put out on your skin?"
  • "That was not mean! I'm proud of you!"
  • "I'm gonna need all the guns."
  • "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
  • "Seltzer water and lemon for blood."
  • "It reeks like old lady pants in here."
  • "Your crazy matches my crazy. Big time."
  • "Four or five moments. That's all it takes to become a hero."

anonymous asked:

You said the Republican party fought against slavery.. That is true, but the Republican party around that time period have more modern Democrat beliefs. They were northerners who believed in equal rights. And the Democratic party in the 1800s had view more similar to modern Republican beliefs. The party's beliefs flip flopped around late 1800s-early 1900s.. The conservative states were always advocating for slavery and oppression. They were also the last states to give women the right to vote.

Originally posted by onemorechapter11

Let’s discuss some history then.

1791 - The Democratic-Republican Party is formed by James Madison and Thomas Jefferson against Alexander Hamilton’s Federalist Party. The Democratic-Republicans strongly opposed government overreach and expansion, the creation of a national bank, and corruption.

1804 - Andrew Jackson purchases the plantation that will become his primary source of wealth.

1824 - The Democratic-Republican Party split. The new Democrats were supported by Andrew Jackson and Martin Van Buren, and the National Republicans were supported by John Quincy Adams and Henry Clay.

1828 - Andrew Jackson is elected President of the United States.

1830 - Andrew Jackson signed the Indian Removal Act, whereby the Cherokee and other native tribes were to be forcibly removed from their lands.

1831 - Cherokee Nation v. Georgia, whereby the Supreme Court ruled that Cherokee Nation was sovereign and the U.S. had no jurisdiction over Cherokee lands. Andrew Jackson had already started to enforce the removal of the Choctaw.

1832-33 - The Whig Party is formed in opposition to Jackson’s government expansion and overreach in the Nullification Crisis and the establishment of a Second National Bank. The Whig Party successfully absorbs the National Republican Party.

1838 -  Many Indian tribes had been forcibly removed. Under Jackson, General Winfield Scott and 7,000 soldiers forced the Cherokee from their land at bayonet point while their homes were pillaged. They marched the Cherokee more than 1,200 miles to the allocated Indian territory. About 5,000 Cherokee died on the journey due to starvation and disease.

1854 - The Whig Party dissolves over the question of the expansion of slavery. Anti-slavery Whigs and anti-slavery democrats form the Republican Party with their sole goal being to end slavery.

1861 -The election of President Lincoln spurs the beginning of the Civil War.

1862 - Lincoln writes a letter where he declares he wishes to preserve the union regardless of the morals on slavery. He issues the Emancipation Proclamation, whereby all slaves in Union territories had to be freed. As states came under Union control, those slaves too had to be freed.

1863 - Frederick Douglass, former slave and famous Republican abolitionist, meets with Lincoln on the suffrage of emancipated slaves.

1864 - Lincoln revised his position on slavery in a letter to Albert G. Hodges stating “If slavery is not wrong, nothing is wrong.”

1865 - Confederate General Robert E. Lee surrenders at the Appomattox Courthouse to Union victory. After Lincoln’s Assassination, Democrat President Johnson issues amnesty to rebels and pardons the slave owners of their crimes.

1865 - The 13th Amendment which ended slavery passed with 100% Republican support and 63% Democrat support in congress.

1866 - The Klu Klux Klan is formed by Confederate veterans to intimidate black and Republicans through violence, lynching, and public floggings. They gave open support to the Democrat Party.

1866 - The Civil Rights Act of 1866 is vetoed by Democratic President Andrew Johnson. Every single Republican voted and overturned the veto.

1868 - The 14th Amendment which gave citizenship to freed slaves passed with 94% Republican support and 0% Democrat support in congress. The first grand wizard of the KKK, Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest is honored at the 1968 Democratic National Convention.

1868 - Representative James Hinds who taught newly freedmen of their rights is murdered by the KKK.

1870 - The 15th Amendment which gave freed slaves the right to vote passed with 100% Republican support and 0% Democrat support in congress.

1871 - The violence of the KKK grew so savage that congress passed the Enforcement Acts to repress their influence.

1875 - Democrat Senator William Saulsbury speaks out against the Civil RIghts Act of 1875, claiming it will allow “colored men shall sit at the same table beside the white guest; that he shall enter the same parlor and take his seat beside the wife and daughter of the white man, whether the white man is willing or not, because you prohibit discrimination against him.“

1884 - A train conductor orders Ida B. Wells, a black Republican woman, to give up her seat and move to the smoking car. Wells was an investigative journalist who worked for a Republican journal to expose the horror of lynching. She advocated for the 2nd amendment rights for blacks so that they could protect themselves, and she denounced the Democratic Party for treating blacks as property unequal to whites.

1892 - Democrat Benjamin Tillman is re-elected to the Senate. He was a white supremacist who boasted his participation in lynchings. He is quoted saying that “as long as the Negroes continue to ravish white women we will continue to lynch them.”

1915 - Democrat President Woodrow Wilson screens KKK promotion film Birth of a Nation. The film pictured blacks as ignorant and violent savages, and the Klu Klux Klan as rescuers and protectors of the civilized world. The popularity of the movie revived the Klu Klux Klan which had previously gone extinct. Reportedly Wilson said about the film that “[it] is like writing history with lightning, and my only regret is that it is all so terribly true.”

1919 - The 19th Amendment which officially gave women the right to vote passed with 82% Republican support and 54% Democrat support in congress.

1924 - Thousands of Klansmen attend the 1924 Democratic National Convention.

1933 -  The chief Nazi newspaper, Volkischer Beobachter, praised “Roosevelt’s adoption of National Socialist strains of thought in his economic and social policies” and “the development toward an authoritarian state.”

1933 - Democrat President Franklin Delano Roosevelt passes the Agricultural Adjustment Act with the well-meaning goal to help farmers and sharecroppers. Instead, though it aided white farmers, it resulted in increased unemployment and displacement of black farmers.

1933 -  FDR established the National Recovery Administration to stimulate business recovery by forcing employers to pay higher wages for less work. This relief program was enforced on a local level and allowed Jim Crow racism to flourish, resulting in many blacks being fired to be replaced by whites. 

1934 -  The Federal Housing Administration is introduced under FDR. The FHA made homeownership accessible for whites, but explicitly refused to back loans to black people or even other people who lived near black people.

1936 - The Roosevelt Administration finally begins vying for the black vote. Though the relief programs neglected blacks, their communities were bombarded with advertisements. FDR began to garner black support though the vast majority remained economically unchanged and locked into poverty.

1942 - FDR orders American citizens of Japanese ancestry from their homes into interment camps without due process after the bombings at Pearl Harbor.

1953 - Senator Robert Byrd is elected into congress and remains a staunch Democrat until his death in 2010. He was a prominent member in the KKK and praised by Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton.

1955 - Democrat Richard Daley is elected mayor of Chicago. He resisted residential desegregation, defended public school segregation, and used urban renewal funds to build massive public housing projects that kept blacks within existing ghettos.

1957 - The Civil Rights Act of 1957 is passes with 93% Republican support and 59% Democrat support.

1963 - After the assassination of JFK, Lyndon B. Johnson is sworn into office. LBJ was a Democrat remembered by a famous quote: “I’ll have them niggers voting Democrat for the next 200 years.”

1965 - The Voting Rights Act of 1965 passes with 94% Republican support and 73% Democrat support.

1968 - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. is assassinated. MLK voted Republican.

1960-70s - A total of 24 Democratic members of congress switched to become Republican over a 20 year period. The majority of democrats in that time period remained democrats.

1995 - Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama is published. Obama discusses how the urban cities would become the new plantation for blacks under Democrat political bosses: “The plantation, the blacks have the worst jobs, the worst housing, police brutality rampant; but when the so-called black committee man come around election time, we’d all line up and vote the straight Democratic ticket. Sell our souls for a Christmas turkey. White folks spit in our faces, and we reward them with the vote.“

2009 - Hillary Clinton lauds Margaret Sanger, KKK advocate, white supremacist, and eugenicist at the 2009 Planned Parenthood Honors Gala: “I admire Margaret Sanger enormously, her courage, her tenacity, her vision. I am really in awe of her, there are a lot of lessons we can learn from her life.”

Me: 1
History revisionism: 0

Originally posted by whiteangelxoxo

Facts, Logic, and Canon: Lucy’s feelings for Natsu

   Fairy Tail seems to be reaching it’s climax, and as such the pairings in which Hiro Mashima is pushing for is becoming more and more obvious. Likewise, the pushback from fans who oppose these ships is becoming more and more apparent, and I am beginning to notice a disturbing trend. Discussions about pairings are becoming less and less about facts and logical interpretations of the canon material, and becoming more and more about accusing the other fanbase of acting in ways that triggers them. No more. It’s time for a return to form. 

This is the cover page of chapter 416. Now, I cannot possibly cover all of Natsu and Lucy’s relationship in one post. There is simply far too much content. To make things far less time consuming for me, I will limit this post to only material since the X791-X792 timeskip. Material from the omake specials, movie, OVA, and anime, will also be largely excluded. Most of the fanservice will also be excluded. I simply cannot go through all of the material in one post. 

This is from chapter 419.  After Fairy Tail disbanded, the one Lucy most wanted to see was Natsu. This is not an opinion, and there is not much room for interpretation. Plain and simple, this is definitive proof that Lucy missed Natsu the most. 

Lucy chased after Natsu when she found out he was leaving from his letter. Lucy did not have the same reaction to anyone else when Fairy Tail disbanded - and seeing as none of them purposely tried to avoid her when they left, it would have been far easier for her to follow them. 

This is Lucy’s outburst for Natsu leaving her behind. This was in response to Natsu criticizing Gray for leaving Juvia behind. 

 When Lucy thought Dimaria was about to stab out her eyes, her last thought was Natsu. Interpret this how you will. Lucy may have been calling out for Natsu to save her. Or she may have been worried about what would happen to him. Or she may have simply thought of him because it gives her hope. Either way, all roads lead back to the same conclusion.

Upon waking up from the aftermath, finding Natsu was Lucy’s first priority. In fact, Lucy was in such a rush to find Natsu that she forgot she was naked.

When Lucy finally arrived at where Natsu was, she rushed to hug him. If it wasn’t obvious how much Lucy cared about Natsu by her actions and thoughts up until this point, it should be fairly obvious now. It will continue to get more obvious below. 

Not to say that Lucy doesn’t care about Juvia and Gray’s conditions, but you can clearly tell that Lucy was the most worried for Natsu. This is evident in both the way she carries Natsu…

… and by the way she cradles him after Irene’s attack.

Lucy is willing to strip down and use her body heat to warm up Natsu. 

Upon Natsu waking up, Lucy can be shown visibly shaking due to relief. 

Lucy’s first instinct is to hug him once he wakes up. Once again, you get Lucy calling Natsu a dummy. You get Lucy saying how worried she was over Natsu. You get Lucy so caught up in the moment, she forget she’s naked.  

…And this is Lucy’s reaction when he thanks her. 

 If everything up until this point wasn’t clear enough, this is how Lucy acts when she is drunk during the Christmas Special.   

I’ve said this before, and I will say it again. If you’ve been keeping up with Fairy Tail and are not in constant denial because of personal bias, you can clearly see that Lucy has feelings for Natsu. Even with a reasonable degree of bias, you cannot deny that Lucy having feelings a higher probability than her not. It is only when you are unreasonably biased against NaLu, that you would deny this. The evidence for is overwhelming compared to the evidence against, and we are long past the the point of plausible deniability. I will stand by what I say, and what I say is that Lucy having feelings for Natsu is the simplest and most direct conclusion after having observed her various actions throughout the most current arc. 

Black Girl, NYC

Greetings people. I identify as a Black female who was born and raised in NYC. I am slowly progressing through my study of education and history in college. Other then that, I spend (probably) an unhealthy amount of time reading and writing sci fi and fantasy. But by high school, I got sick and tired of the same story featuring blonds and brunettes saving the day with their straight, lean male heroes so I turned to my librarian seeking something new. She pointed to Octavia Butler and the rest was history. I’ve been seeking diversity in media ever since.

Family life and Culture

I grew as the middle child of six siblings with my single mother and grandparents. Yes, my working-class household fits the stereotype. We even have an absent father *sighs* But, hey shit happens. And with the biological father turns out not to be the best father figure, shit had to go right out the door. Yup. But make no mistake that this is a norm. Most households on my block do have both parents involved in their children’s lives. Our circumstances called for us to have one. That’s all.

The house was full, loud and rambunctious. We made up a good portion of the children on the block (unsurprising) and basically ran it. There’s a whole novel that could be fleshed out of my childhood if I wanted to. Our neighborhood is very tight knit. Next door neighbors were treated like Aunts and Uncles. When summer came around, we were sometimes divided into groups as the parents who were off from work overlooked us while braiding our heads. Blackouts became an all night bbq and sleepover on each other’s porches. Crooklyn by Spike Lee was a good representation of what it was like in fact. Somewhat. Minus the brownstones, plus a couple more fights (lol).

My grandma was a nurse who’s pretty big on us knowing our family history. She made sure to talk a lot about our Gullah Geechee roots. We also had some Dominican culture influence since her closest friend and our Madrina was, well, Dominican. But she is fairly strict on gender norms and how my sisters and I should act especially with brothers. She antagonized me the most growing up because I continued to ignore this. We don’t get along but i can’t say i don’t get why she’s the way she is. She has a pretty dark past. My mother, a latchkey kid of the finest stock, is more laid back and gives all of us free range to make our own mistakes. Most times. Other times, she’d rather lecture us. Depends on our crime.

I don’t know what my grandpa used to do. He retired waaaaay before my grandmother. I also don’t know much about his culture. He’s 1st gen Jamaican who fully assimilated into American culture. Well, beside his food choices. Now, he gambles and goes to church. When I was younger, he used to teach us how to gamble too. And how to cheat and not get caught. We got a lot of free fast food while he taught us. He has gotten more frugal the older he got. And more isolated.

Dating and Relationships.

I don’t date. I have no interest. Well, no, that’s not exactly true. I’ve considered it but I rather have not seek out anything outside of platonic right now. I have a tight knit circle of friends and several other groups of friends I associate with depending on the activity. I’m realizing it seems like I’m using the term “friends” loosely but I swear I’m not. I’m a virgin and I feel nothing about being one until someone goes “*gasp* You’re a virgin really?” and then I end up on high defense saying “So?” Believe or not, that messed with me a lot.

My love life and lack of interest in having one has always been a struggle. In middle school, the group of friends I hung with were becoming more infatuated with love and sex. Yes, middle school, fifth through eighth grade, ages nine to thirteen. But, when they would talked about who’s hot or not, they would look at me funny when I didn’t join in the discussion. Instead of explaining myself, I simply copied other’s reactions and gushed along with them. This instinct followed me through High school til stopped out of annoyance. I became a listener and adviser in their relationships because I really do love stories in many shapes and forms. And I would never turn down hearing a story.

Language

My primary language is English and AAVE. I’ve been living in a neighborhood filled with Blacks and Latinx. Most of my friends are Black and Lantinx. I didn’t meet a white person my age until college. Okay that’s a partial lie. I’ve been in a summer camp that was made up of predominantly white children. But as the only black kid in my age range, I was sorta uncomfortable. I never made lasting friends there. After High School, I spent a year abroad in Tena, Ecuador where I learned Spanish and Kichwa. I still suck at both languages.

Clothing

Lots of my clothes when I was younger were borrowed or hand-me-downs. Half of them still are. It’s like thrift shopping without the hiked prices thanks to its popularity by rich white people (Thanks rich white people!) All my siblings’ taste varies. In my case, I’m fond of combining loose and tight clothing (tight jeans and a loose sweater/ baggy jeans and a tight top). No makeup. Silver accessories.

I used to have a short bob cut permed. I hated it. But I rather a perm then getting my hair straightened with a hot comb because the back of my neck and big ears would always get burned. It wasn’t until I made a friend with a natural afro that I realized my natural hair was even an option.

Academics

Lol I was a nerd with bad grades.

Religion

My family practices Santeria, which has historical roots in both Catholicism and Yoruba thanks to slavery (Yay slavery!). However, because the religion is not fully accepted or well-known, I tend to say I’m simply Catholic if asked. Apparently, a Black Catholic is hard to believe. It is assumed all Black folks are Baptists or some branch of Christianity. I have no idea where that stereotype came from. But I can give some guess. (*cough cough* Tyler Perry….).  

As I stated before, I love scifi and fantasy. I especially love urban fantasy involving witches. I blame this love on Practical Magic and Eve’s Bayou, my childhood faves. It’s because of this love that I wish to see more stories with witches of color. And no, I don’t mean that one evil/mysterious southern/Caribbean Voodoo/Hoodoo witch hollywood loves to portray so much. That always plays into the “Black is evil” trope. Give me some damn variety!

I would squeal so hard if the mythology involved in a story isn’t even Eurocentric. I’m not joking. This is serious. When my religion was simply hinted at in the Raven Boys series (It was also a great way of making even more obvious that the character was definitely not white.) and Kenya Wright’s Habitat series, I squealed. All the authors did was write the names of some of the Orishas and I couldn’t help but put my phone down for a moment and inwardly scream with glee. That being said, if a writer does decide to use afrocentric or any religion involving “witchcraft” as a basis, I would personally ask that they make sure is is not a closed religion.

Santeria is, in fact, a closed religion. And while I don’t mind mentions of it in fantasy and even a main character stating they practice it, do not go any further than that. Don’t even research the practices within the religion other than what is public knowledge (And if you don’t have any public knowledge, just ask) Respect that there’s a limit. Anything further spelunking  is consider rude, disgusting, disrespectful and dangerous. There’s things that I don’t even know because I haven’t been properly initiated. And the internet has a lot of these practices exposed when it shouldn’t be so please don’t look into it. Please.

Food

Most of the cooking in the house has been done by my grandmother. Because of her various relationships, our food has always been a mixture of Black American, Gullah, Lantinx and Caribbean influences. It is so good. So, so good!

The only thing I don’t eat of hers is her seafood gumbo because I don’t like shellfish. One of my sisters said I should have my “black card” taken for my distaste. I said she could take it if she can name more black movies than me. She still can’t take it. My other sister wishes we could switch places because she loves crab but is allergic. The crazy girl actually sends her husband to buy some benadryl so she can eat some if we ever have some on the table. Smh. Siblings.  

Holidays

My family on both sides are quite fond of reunions. On my grandpa’s side, the family uses Fourth of July and Christmas to get together. On my grandma’s side, they tend to host annual summer reunion and send out RSVP invitations complete with schedules of the whole two to three day event. I didn’t mention this under my family life, but both sides of my family are boujee to different degrees. Lots of black sorors and frats members on both sides. I can’t believe that slipped my mind typing.

I’m a little iffy with Christmas. It’s more of a holiday for the older generation and our niece and nephews. The younger generation, however, don’t particularly care for the holiday. For some of us, it’s because it’s not really Jesus’s Birthday and Santa was whitewashed. For others, it’s because we don’t care to feed into the corporate holiday. For most of us, it’s a combination of the two. But we do love getting together when we can. My older sister and I have conspired to celebrate kwanzaa instead for the past two years. So far, it hasn’t grasped the interest of anyone else in the family.

Struggles

  • Being nerds from a young age, my siblings and I have been called “Oreos” or“Not really black” by kids in school on more than one occasion. We shut them down by fighting. Probably not the best strategy but it was best one I could think of in middle school and below. Made it easier to go back to reading my manga.

  • I got compared to my sisters a lot. It was the absolutely most annoying thing ever. And a major source of my insecurities growing older.

  • Need I address colorism? My highschool was filled with it. #TeamLight v #TeamDark. I was on neither team, because in the region I live, skin color was a pretty long spectrum. I fell in the between. Who came up with this?

  • I’ll admit it. I hate my own tears. They make me feel weak. Which isn’t true…I know. But, it is a mentality I always had. I have depression and PTSD. This isn’t really a secret. I tell people if I’m asked. But have you ever had someone look at you and say, “Really? You don’t seem like the type.” ……

  • I am a black female. I’ve been labelled “Strong” and “Independent” the older I got. By my mother. By my siblings. By my peers. And I get those labels. Even from friends. I loved those labels. I call myself by those labels. I mean, who doesn’t want to be seen as strong and independent? Those are positive affirmations, right? I think they would be. If that wasn’t all the positive labels we could get. Somehow, society has decided we are beings that are incapable of being multifaceted. I was indirectly taught to hate my own tears because black girls don’t cry. You can’t cry and be strong. What a terrible mantra fed to black girl at a young age. So, instead you tell everyone “It’s fine.”

I told my therapist it was fine. Until she told me straight up it was not fine. And it was okay to cry. I don’t like to cry. But I still (involuntarily) did it.

Things I’d like to see less of/Things I’d like to see more of:

  • I’m sick and tired of seeing black and latinx folks being portrayed as only fantasy gangs members. We are not only gang members. That’s a terrible popular myth the media put out there and I hate it even more so when it’s portrayed in SFF genre..

  • I’m tired of having one black person in a novel being described as having skin the color of “midnight.” And he’s (it’s always a he) not even that important to the story

  • I hate how every time someone decides to add a person of color, they have to be ambiguous brown. I’m not saying ambiguously brown don’t exist and don’t need representation but is it really that had for a dark brown skin person to play a major role in a story that’s not about slavery? Speaking of which….

  • Why we always gotta be slaves? Or better yet….

  • Why don’t we exist at all in High fantasy stories? Urban fantasy? Brooklyn wasn’t always the gentrified white town it is now. Still isn’t. How are you erasing people of color from NYC??? We make up way too much of the population to be completely erased

  • Stop racial coding other creatures to surround your white human characters. Especially as the bad guys. That’s just shitty writing. Step up your game!

  • I love Black love

  • I love Gay love. I wish more would follow moonlight’s example and show poc are gay too and gay doesn’t always equal to stereotypical femininity.

  • I love interracial love HOWEVER, can we pair people of color with other people of color as well? I’m starting to hate seeing it always a white person paired with a Poc. Variety damnit!

  • Friendships between boys and girls that don’t transform into love.

  • Friendships between girls that didn’t start out as a rivalry.

  • Different body types besides the skinny and tall. Make a main character that’s fat for once. It’s not a problem.

  • Magical characters of color that aren’t “Noble Savages” or “Wise Monks” that used their magic for personal gain for once instead of waiting for the white hero to come.

  • Nerdy black characters who aren’t 100% competent and cries. One that isn’t in a five token band that always gonna be compare to the white main character. Make the nerd the main character!

That’s all I can think of at the top of my head. But my list really does go on. 

Read more POC Profiles here or submit your own.

♥ DEADPOOL SENTENCE STARTERS
feel free to adjust sentences to make it fit your muse better!

  • ❛ Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… me! ❜
  • ❛ I had another Liam Neeson nightmare. I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn’t having it. ❜
  • ❛ You’re probably thinking, “Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie”? ❜
  • ❛ You guys going for a bite? Early bird special? ❜
  • ❛ Fuck, you’re old. ❜
  • ❛ Fake laugh. Hiding real pain. Go get Silver Balls. ❜
  • ❛ What the shit? That’s the coolest name ever! ❜
  • ❛ Now, I’m about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late 90s. ❜
  • ❛ A fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break? That’s like, sixteen walls. ❜
  • ❛ My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kabab! ❜
  • ❛ Well, I may be super, but I’m no hero. ❜
  • ❛ But some of the best love stories start with a murder. ❜
  • ❛ Looks aren’t everything. ❜
  • ❛ Hashtag drive-by. ❜
  • ❛ Ugh, stupid, stupid. Worth it! ❜
  • ❛ That’s right! You’re about to be killed by a zamboni! ❜
  • ❛ Tell me where your fucking boss is or you’re going to die! In five minutes! ❜
  • ❛ I should’ve come and found you sooner, but the guy under this mask, he ain’t the same one that you remember. ❜
  • ❛ After a brief adjustment period and a bunch of drinks, it’s a face… I’d be happy to sit on. ❜
  • ❛ Time to make the chimi-fuckin’-changas. ❜
  • ❛ Oh, I so pity the dude who pressures her into prom sex. ❜
  • ❛ Whatever they did to me made me totally indestructible… and completely unfuckable. ❜
  • ❛ Star in your own horror films. Because you look like Freddy Krueger face-fucked a topographical map of Utah. ❜
  • ❛ Life is an endless series of trainwrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness. ❜
  • ❛ Finish fucking her the fuck up. ❜
  • ❛ Suck a cock. ❜
  • ❛ This guy’s got the right idea. he wore the brown pants. ❜
  • ❛ I’d go with you, but… I don’t want to. ❜
  • ❛ I’ve never said this to anyone before, but don’t swallow! ❜
  • ❛ Your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left leg is Christmas. Can I come and visit you between the holidays? ❜
  • ❛ Maximum effort. ❜
  • ❛ I didn’t just get the cure to el cancer, I got the cure to el everything. ❜
  • ❛ Ahhhh. I’m touching myself tonight. ❜
  • ❛ Ahhh! Your poor wife! ❜
  • ❛ Wanna get fucked up? ❜
  • ❛ Daddy needs to express some rage. ❜
  • ❛ Shit. Did I leave the stove on? ❜
  • ❛ Well I hate to break it to you, but your forty-eight minutes are up. ❜
  • ❛ Right up Main Street. ❜
  • ❛ Have you decided what you’re gonna say to her? ❜
  • ❛ I bet it’s going to feel really big in that hand later… ❜
  • ❛ This is a shameful and reckless use of your powers. ❜
  • ❛ Why such a douche this morning? ❜
  • ❛ Have you seen this man? ❜

So I can say 🗣💬🔊that you are all good 👌👌💯people 🚶‍♀️and I love 💚❤️ all of you but down ⬇️to business🗂📊 you have blown 🎇up this house🏠, lied 🐍🐍on everybody, you turned on Christmas🎄 and tried to get her out ➡️the door and rallied against ✖️❌🚫her to tell all of us “oh I wanna play a game with integrity” no you were terrified 💀👻😳of your squad 👯‍♂️👬👫and then you turned 🔙on us, you’re still lying 😤on me, telling these people that oh that I came to you for safety✅ or whatever 🤷‍♀️I don’t ⛔️🙅⛔️wanna work with you I want you out 👋of this house 🏠and if it wasn’t for that golden apple🍎🍏🏅 I would’ve been home🏠 so I hope🙏 I see 👀you hop 🤸‍♂️👣your ass 🍑on out 🔜‼️of here

Coming Home

Originally posted by dark-dagger

Request: i was wondering if you could do a Deanxreader where the reader is an old flame. After years he find himself in her hometown for another case. Her boyfriend had kicked her out from their home because she is pregnant and he doesn’t want kid. Dean ask her to move in the bunker for sometime. Sam, but especialy Dean do everything they can to make sure her and the baby feel happy and safe. When Dean is ready to talk about his feeling she goes in labor. After the birth Dean take care of the baby like it is his own. And it end up with the baby calling him dada, after the initial shock Dean talk to the reader and tell her he want to be with her and be a family together? Thank you so much!

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 1,300ish

Warnings: none


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Locked in Love (M)

Word Count: 24k
Member: Jimin x Reader
Genre: Smut, Fluff & Slight angst like it’s barely even there

Getting locked in the mall on Christmas eve isn’t ideal, but getting locked in the mall with your brothers best friend that you haven’t seen in a while? Well, it might have been alright if you didn’t have feelings for him.

↠ Day 5 of the seven days of Christmas collab! Read the other fics here

cr

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Polaroids : Jonathan Byers x Reader

Originally posted by gillijacobs

A/N: Oops, I went a little crazy on this one, but I hope you like it!

“Happy Holidays, Byers family!” You shout throughout the little house, all decked out in a cheesy Christmas sweater and Santa hat.

“Jonathan! Your favorite weirdo is here!” Will yells from the couch. You just give him a playful glare and he laughs. “You know you’re my favorite, (Y/N),” he says with a smile.

“I better be, Byers.” You point your finger at him and toss a box into his chest. Will reacts just in time and catches the box upright. “You’re welcome.”

Will’s eyes go wide and he jumps up to hug you. “Thank you so much, (Y/N)!”

Presents were a rarity in the Byers’ house, so you made sure that you would bring gifts for every holiday. Whether it be Christmas, birthdays, Halloween, or even weird ones like Arbor Day. You started doing that when you first spent Christmas with the Byers’ two years ago. There were maximum 8 presents to split between everyone under their little Christmas tree, and it made your heart hurt. 

“You’re welcome, Will. I have some more for everyone in my car if you want to grab them,” you pry him off and present him with your car keys. He eagerly takes them from your hands, dashing to the driveway. Jonathan finally appears in the living room with his hands behind his back, obviously holding something. 

“Hey, babe,” you say, greeting him with a small kiss. “I have a present for you.”

“You know you didn’t have to get me anything, (Y/N),” he starts. “You always get me gifts, even for pointless holidays.”

“What?” you pout. “I can’t spoil my boyfriend?”

Jonathan places the little box on the couch before his arms snake around your waist, pulling you closer. You wrap your arms around his neck and give him another kiss. “It’s just that…I feel like I need to spoil you. You’re so amazing and you deserve everything, which I can’t give to you.”

“Hey, Byers, I don’t need any gifts. You are the best thing that I could have.” You smile, looking straight into his eyes. “Plus, I enjoy spoiling you guys a little. You all work so hard, especially your mom, and you all deserve it.”

Jonathan touches his forehead to yours gently. “Wow, I love you,” he whispers before attaching his lips to yours in a passionate kiss. You start to melt a little when you hear the front door slam, prompting you both to pull away. Will stands at the door with a pile of presents in his arms, trying not to topple over. Jonathan just shakes his head at you, knowing that all of them were from you.

“What?” you attempt to look innocent but just end up smiling. You go over to help Will place all the presents under the tree as Jonathan takes a couple off the top of the pile. You all make your way over to the tree and set them down gently. Joyce walks in on you three, drying her hands on a towel, completely puzzled with what was taking place.

“Um, hello?” Joyce suddenly says, startling all of you. You’re the first to stand, followed by Will then Jonathan. “What’s going on?”

“Hi, Mrs. Byers!” You say, rummaging for one of her gifts. You find the one in gold wrapping paper and hand it to her. “Merry Christmas!”

A small smile forms on her face and she pulls you in for a hug. “Thank you so much, (Y/N). You have no idea how much this means to me. I feel like I need to repay you.”

“It’s really no problem, Mrs. Byers. I promise.” You hug her back and when she finally lets go, you can see a few tears in her eyes.

“Oh, wait! Let me go get the camera!” She quickly adds, wiping her eyes. She comes back a few seconds later with an old Polaroid camera in her hands. “Alright, all of you get together!”

You three arrange yourselves in front of the tree and smile wide, arms wrapped protectively around one another. “One, two, three!”

Joyce snaps two pictures and grabs them one by one as they slide out of the camera. She hands one to you and holds on to one for herself. 

She smiles at the scene in front of her, content for once in a long time. “My beautiful little family,” she whispers to herself. “My beautiful, little family.”

Court of Dreams’ Individual Understanding of Feyre

During my reread of ACOMAF, I was struck by the unique way each member of Rhysand’s Inner Circle related to Feyre’s traumatic experiences (primarily taken from chapter 16 [family dinner]). SJM did such an amazing job with this! IRL, it doesn’t usually take just one person to help heal your past hurts—to understand—and we see this with Feyre. It takes the entire Inner Circle to help her begin to heal, and to learn she was not alone. 

Cassian understands what it is like to starve and freeze—to fight alone for survival. 

Azriel understands the horror of being imprisoned in darkness and brutally beaten, left to die. 

Amren understands being trapped in a body not her own. 

Mor understands how dreams can be stripped away and laid bare—to escape and dream anew. 

Rhys understands the terror of abuse, and what it’s like to wake up every night, every morning afraid his freedom isn’t real.  

Court of Dreams - All of them understand what it means to find a family they’d only ever dreamed of having—to love and care for and cherish one another more than anything in the world.

Knitworthy

Prompt/Summary: A little something for all of my knitters out there (and crocheters)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: fluff in a knit hat

Word Count: 1347

Author’s Note:

Originally posted by 13roots

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instead of bruce constantly running off in the middle of batcat dates to go dish out some vigilante justice, imagine selina constantly blowing bruce off to hang out with the gotham rogues and each time he gets more and more frustrated

*

bruce: hey selina we still on for tonight?
selina: sorry bruce i promised i’d drive harley to airport. rain check?
bruce: sure don’t worry about it

*

bruce: i reserved a table for 7pm tonight and-
selina: ooooh sorry, bruce, i totally forgot. eddie just got a new cat and that man CANNOT look after another living thing without intervention.
bruce: another rain check?

*

bruce: thought i’d check before i actually booked the table this time and-
selina: about that… tonight’s the rogues christmas party. i said i’d go so ivy wasn’t bored out of her mind, hope it’s ok that we-
bruce: ….it’s fine.

*

bruce: should i even ask if we can-?
selina: no can do bruce, i have a lunch date with freeze and i wanna see how he’s doing-
bruce: [hangs up]

*

bruce: alright selina for the last time, are you really serious about dating me? or are all these excuses just your way of saying you want to break up? let me guess, poker night with two-face and penguin?
selina: …….. i was gunna say i’m free at 9pm but if you’re gunna be like that… 

anonymous asked:

You are the first and only writer I have read for this fandom. I love your work so much, I've re read all your Arrow stories twice (even the Firefly one even though I've never watched it). Do you have any favorite Olicity fics to recommend to keep me from going crazy my first hiatus? (I binged the first 4 seasons last year)

This is awesome!! Thank you! I’m super honored. And do I have recs? Oh yes, I have recs. 

First rec isn’t actually a fic, it’s a resource… @theolicitylibrary. If you want recs, they’ve got ‘em. If you want a specific trope or rating or genre, they’ve got that, too. Have a hankering for a fic where Oliver and Felicity are business rivals? There’s a link for that. Where she’s the vigilante instead? There’s a link for that, too. Where one of them is a werewolf? Yup. They’re an amazing resource and you can lose days (and weeks and months) going through lists of alpha/omega tropes and rockstar AUs and friends-to-lovers fics. 

But more specifically… how about I rec some authors, too? I haven’t been reading much lately - I spend all my time writing - so I’m more comfortable reccing authors I know are amazing and whose works I’m looking forward to catching up on. They’re all consistently excellent. This is by no means an all inclusive list.

@dust2dust34 - My co-writer for FiCoN and personal fav (though I admit to no small amount of bias). If you want smut and you want details and mining a scene for feelings, Bre is your girl. She has plenty of oneshots to choose from as well as some multichapter fics.  

@machawicket - Look, I can’t overstate Danielle’s skills as a writer. My husband doesn’t even read my fic but he likes hers. Her writing is funny, sweet, sexy and heartbreaking in turn but it’ll never leave you unsatisfied. She’s a master. 

@anthfan - Nikki is one of those writers that’s so good she makes you forget you’re reading a story, because it’s just something you’re living. It’s an experience. Her characterization is spot-on and her plots are super engaging. She writes both one-shots and longer stories. They’re all worth your time.

@hannasus - Susannah’s writing is the perfect balance of detailed exposition and tight narrative that lets you feel like you’ve experienced the whole setting in just a few lines. Add to that fully in-character characterization and interesting plots that keep you reading and you really can’t go wrong. I recommend reading her Something Like Fate series ASAP as she’s adapted it into the basis for an original novel (which she’s publishing later this year) and it may not be up on AO3 a whole lot longer. 

@rosietwiggs - I can always tell Rosie’s work in just a few lines. Her narrative voice is so very distinctive and so gripping that it pulls me in effortlessly. I don’t believe she’s writing for Arrow anymore, but even her unfinished works are worth a read. I especially recommend The New Normal, Lengths and How The Mighty Fall In Love.

@supersillyanddorky06 - I’d be surprised if you hadn’t heard around about Matty’s writing because she’s right at the core of the Olicity fandom’s best known fanfics. With good reason. She’s prolific, plotty, smutty and evocative. If you have a weakness for Bratva!Oliver, I’d start here. 

@jsevick - I first met Jaimie after reading her Jurassic Park AU (really!) and being both delighted and amazed that she could make it work. I’m extremely lucky to have had her help as my beta pretty much ever since. If you like my writing, she’s a big part of it (along with @alizziebyanyothername). While she hasn’t posted in a while, her stories are just fun and if you like Gilmore Girls, her Arrow AU for Gilmore Girls is a treat!

@realityisoverrated-fic - I have no idea how you would feel about Smoaking Billionaires, Anon (I personally love it), but I’ve got to very highly recommend her Infinite Love series. At 110 parts and counting, it deals extensively with Oliver, Felicity and Tommy’s family longterm, including their kids. It’s alternately hot, sweet, and heartbreaking. But, most of all, it’s just well-written and interesting. If you’re willing to read them as a triad, I cannot recommend this strongly enough.

@geneeste - I would pay for more of Caught a Long Wind. Quite literally. But, that aside, Genie is a top notch writer. Whether her one-shots, WiPs or brilliant, ongoing epic co-written work with @machawicket, everything she writes should be devoured. 

@juliesioux - Julie uses the setting in a story as another character. There’s so much life to the world she puts her characters in that it practically breathes. Above that, she doesn’t shy away from hard topics. She will rush in head-first and dig deep to explore what her characters are going through. When you read her work, take her warnings seriously, but if you’re looking for a rich story to read that challenges you, she’s the perfect option to turn to.

@thatmasquedgirl - One of the most prolific Olicity fic authors (with 110 fics, including the absolute opus Technical Assistance). She’s consistently excellent, creative and she gives us as a fandom a whole lot to read. You can probably spent a huge chunk of hiatus happily buried in her work.

@entersomethingcleverhere - As a rule, I do not read first person stories. Not even when they’re published books sitting on shelves at my bookstore. I will break that rule for her writing. I like it that much. It’s heartfelt, moving, well-paced, and the connections between her characters are both real and evolving as you go. 

@arrow-through-my-writers-block - Shelby is… well, she’s just fun! She’s a solid writer who never disappoints. She’s got quite a few one-shots and a few ongoing multi-chapters. She’s probably best known for Starstruck, but all of her work is worth reading.  

@wagamiller - I just really love wagamiller’s work. Like a lot. There are very few authors I have on alert, but wagamiller is. Stories that make me laugh out loud are few and far between, but the 35B series surely did (as did @machawicket‘s Unbearable Hotness of Being, btw). Strong, sharp, witty writing that will leave you with a grin on your face.

@callistawolf - When I think of Callie’s work, I think of the fanfic version of sitting down with some hot cocoa and curling up with a warm blanket to watch a Hallmark Christmas special. She’s consistently excellent about finishing her work, which is lovely, and you can pretty much always count on a feel-good romantic ending. 

@hopedreamlovepray - Writing one-shots that stick with your reader is hard. Keeping a story to 1-2k and still being impactful is even harder. She absolutely manages it every time. Hope27 (as she’s known on AO3, so you can find her) has something like a hundred Olicity fics. These are, in my opinion, absolutely perfect if you want to lose yourself in a story on the train to work or during your lunch hour. 

@dettiot - Mel has a lot of great stories (like really great). My favorite is probably the “ink in my pen ran dry” series, but that’s a really tough call. Core Curriculum is super hot. The Felicity Stark series (crossover with Avengers-verse) is brilliant and fun and made me giddy while reading it. Beauty in the Breakdown is excellent. Jerry the EA series features one of the best takes on a relative OC I’ve read in fics. Love is Red made me squeal like a teenager with excitement (I’m not ashamed; it was warranted). And Two Men, Same Name (written with @melsanfo) is one of those that I am absolutely dying for the time to catch up on. While I’m at it, let’s rec Mel Sanfo, too. Her Masquerade is another novel-length fic absolutely worth a read. You really can’t go wrong with either of these ladies. 

@ash818 - Ash is freaking awesome. So, here’s the thing. Her Legacy series is mind-blowingly good. I have to admit, I’ve only read The Man Under The Hood in the series (this is intentional, for a reason you’ll see in a moment, but you need to read all of her work ASAP, okay? You do). This series… you’ve got future, married Olicity with teenage children as they continue their mission. There’s action, plot, heartbreak, angst, love, everything you could want. It’s in first person from their son’s perspective which is something I would probably never have clicked on in the first place had it not come highly recommended, but good lord is it amazing. All of her characters have life. All of them have depth. Her OCs are fully formed and vital to the story without overshadowing characters you already know. I haven’t read the later stories because after I decided to continue on with FiCoN verse, I didn’t want to inadvertently shade my views on Olicity’s growing family and continuing mission with anything she did in her series. If anything I do happens to run parallel to her work, I want to know beyond any doubt that it’s 100% coincidence. But her stories are something I’m absolutely itching to get to read… eventually. Her writing is excellent.  

@tinaday3w - I’m tempted to say “JUST READ IT” but that’s probably not enough… But really, just read it. No one does slow burn like Tina. Victorian era AU with pirate!Oliver? Yes, please. Hello. I’ll take two.

@emmilynestill - She’s just so good. And sooooo hot. I don’t know if you know this, Anon, but writing a good sex scene is hard. You don’t want your reader pulled out of the scene by wondering if a position is actually possible or when underwear came off (or if it did) or how gravity isn’t making them collapse. Like… smut is difficult. But it reads so effortlessly with Emmilyne’s writing. And, beyond that, she weaves it in beautifully with plot that keeps you wondering what’s next and emotion that builds and grows in an organic way. Orgasms and organic feelings. Honestly, what else could anyone really want?

@ruwithmeguys - Jess will gut you and leave you asking her to do it again. Indecent Proposal… just… read the warnings and be ready and read it with a lot of time on your hands and probably in chunks because ouch. But still… read it.

@academyofshipping - Sarah has this dry sense of humor that comes out in her fics that’s as clever as it is fun. Fluffy, funny, smart, cute and rich with feeling, Sarah’s writing is consistently strong. 

@someonesaidcake - Felice is fantastic for completed, multichapter AU fics. She has quite a few and I’m pretty sure every single one included smut at some point (if that’s your thing) as well as plot. 

And… I’ve spent like an hour and a half on this which was a lovely diversion for my day. I know I’m forgetting amazing people but I have to stop here. When in doubt, take the title of a fic you like, google that name in quotes along with “rec list” and find someone’s list where that story was included, then explore the others. Or, check the bookmarks on AO3 of an author you like, that’s a great place to mine for fics, too. And, again, I can’t rec @theolicitylibrary enough. That said… happy reading, Anon! We’ll get through this hiatus together… through fic and sheer force of will. ;-)

I’ve got my swim trunks, and my flippie-floppies

for @legividivici, hope you like it!! <3 (ao3)


The last place Clarke expected to run into anyone she knows is the literal middle of the ocean, but the cruise ship has barely left port before she spots a familiar head of tousled curls ahead of her in the crowd.

She loses sight of him before she can get a good look, so she chalks it up to her imagination. It’s entirely possible that Bellamy is on the same cruise she is– they did, after all, both just graduate, and therefore have the same budget and scheduling constraints– but she tells herself it probably isn’t him. And that even if it is him, it’s not like they’re going to run into each other.

So of course the next day she’s on one of the decks by the pool when a shadow falls over her and his voice says, “Is this chair taken?”

Clarke pushes her sunglasses up on top of her head and wrinkles her nose at him.

“I don’t know, I my tiara really ought to have a chair of its own.”

Bellamy smirks and sits on the edge of the chair, not moving her stuff– not yet– but settling in to bicker with her. As is their custom.

She and Bellamy were RAs in the same dorm two years ago, and they had differing ideas at first about how hands-on they needed to be with their freshmen. Despite the way they picked at each other, by the end of the year they’d become reluctant allies, his calling her ‘Princess’ taking on less of a sneer and more of a teasing edge, her comebacks laced with a smile. They had each other’s backs.

But she didn’t re-up her RA contract for her senior year, and he did, and they’re not the type of friends to outright admit they miss each other, so she hasn’t seen nearly as much of him in the past couple of semesters as she would like.

“You here with Wells?”

“And Raven,” she nods. “I was saving those seats for them, but I’m pretty sure they ditched me to have tiny cabin sex.”

“O and Lincoln ditched me pretty fast too. I think they’ve all forfeited their right to a saved seat,” he grins, passing her bag back to her. The way he lounges back in the chair, skin already browning, wind ruffling his hair, he looks like something straight out of an ad. Or Clarke’s fantasies. Either one, really.

Just because she used to think he was a Class-A dick (which he is, but not in the way she thought. In the fun way.) doesn’t mean she’s never noticed how great his hands are, or how he’s got perfect hair for pulling, or how there’s probably more than one way to wipe a smirk off his face.

“Sure, make yourself at home,” she grumbles. He grins at her and pulls his shirt off, which is– honestly just so unfair.

“Don’t mind if I do.”

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anonymous asked:

Hello!!! I'm really new to the whole Tom Holland stanning thing (it's only been two days and I've followed a crapton of tom/peter blogs), but I want to know more about him. Can you guide me towards the cinnamon roll that is Tom? Thank you!!~ Sunshine anon 🌞

ALRIGHT ANON HAVE A SEAT THERE I’M GONNA LEARN YOU A THING TODAY

THIS HERE IS MR. THOMAS STANLEY HOLLAND

AS YOU CAN SEE HE IS INDEED A PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL TOO PURE, TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD

HE WAS BORN ON JUNE FIRST, 1996

JUST A SMOL LIL BEAN

BORN AND RAISED IN SOUTH-WEST LONDON

DARLING

HE HAS THREE BROTHERS, SAM, HARRY AND PATRICK

WOW FAMILY GOALS

I HOPE THEY PUT THAT ON A CHRISTMAS CARD THAT IS AESTHETIC™ RIGHT THERE

OH YEAH AND THAT’S TESSA WE LOVE HER MORE THAN TOM SOMETIMES

TOM ALSO HAS A BESTIE NAMED HARRISON OSTERFIELD WHO IS EQUALLY AS SCRUMDIDDLYUMPTIOUS

I MEAN DAMN THAT IS A GOOD LOOKIN DUO RIGHT THERE AMIRITE

ANYWAY YOU PROBABLY KNOW TOM FROM A LITTLE THING CALLED SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING

WHICH IS SUPER COOL HE DID SUCH A GOOD JOB WE’RE ALL SO PROUD OF OUR SON/HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND/PAL/SWEET SUMMER CHILD

BUT HE’S ALSO BEEN IN A BUNCH OF OTHER SWEET FILMS LIKE “IN THE HEART OF THE SEA”

“WOLF HALL” (6 EPISODE BBC 2 TV SERIES)

AND “THE LOST CITY OF Z” WHERE HE HAD A MUSTACHE FOR SOME REASON????

WHAT THE HECK

HE GOT HIS TINY LITTLE ACTING HEART STARTED IN “BILLY ELLIOT: THE MUSICAL”

HOW FRICKIN CUTE IS THAT

HE AND HIS BROTHER’S STARTED A TRUST BECAUSE THERE’S NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN GIVING BACK

AND SPEAKING OF GIVING BACK, TOM LIKES TO TAKE HIS FREE TIME AND GO VISIT CHILDREN’S HOSPITALS AS SPIDER-MAN BECAUSE HE IS T O O   P U R E

WHAT A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED LEARNING A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THIS ADORKABLE MOTHERFUCKER AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAY

Now There’s Your Pickup Line

Sterek, 2K, T

AU, First Kiss, New Year’s Eve

Prompted from the screenshot of that cop on Tinder with the bio: “Ever shouted Fuck the Police? Well, here’s your chance.”


Derek shut the door behind him with a sigh and sat down on the floor, stretching his legs out in front of him. He hated parties, and he was pissed that Laura had dragged him to the New Year’s Eve one she was hosting at her apartment. She did a really good guilt trip, though, so Derek was there. And now, he was curious how long it would take her to realize that he was hiding in her closet. He was hoping for at least a 20-minute break away from the endless small talk.

He pulled out his phone and swiped idly through the app screens, hovering his thumb over the little flame icon. Laura had created a Tinder account for him a few weeks ago—very much against his wishes—but he’d only been on it a couple times, and he’d never swiped right for anyone. He’d never really done the online dating thing; it just hadn’t really appealed to him. It seemed to encourage quick decisions based just on someone’s looks, and well…Derek had enough of that already.

He was bored, though, so he opened the app and immediately swiped left, wincing at the cheesy shirtless mirror shot of the first guy that popped up. Derek swiped left again, for a girl whose bio just said NO DRAMA, and then couldn’t hold in the little snort at the bio of the next guy. “Ever shouted Fuck the Police? Well, here’s your chance.

Derek’s gaze drifted up to the photo, and he swallowed hard. This guy, Stiles, what kind of name was that, was seriously attractive. He was really working the cop uniform in the first photo, all broad smile and bright eyes. Probably taken at the pride parade, if the crowd behind him and the rainbow flag were any indication.

Derek swiped through the rest of the pictures—one of him with a dog, one of him shirtless on a beach, one of him playing what looked like a pickup baseball game—and audibly exhaled. He was definitely Derek’s type, tall and lean with broad shoulders. Before he could talk himself out of it, he swiped right. The app notified him of a match, and Derek couldn’t stop the little inward preen at the thought of this guy swiping right on him, too.

He ran with this foreign streak of courage and tapped the message button.

That is the worst pick-up line I’ve ever heard.

Derek had no idea what the typical messaging etiquette was on Tinder, but Stiles replied just a minute later.

Keep reading

Tales of Delicious Revenge from a Recovering Retail Worker

I discovered this sub a while ago and it has breathed new life into my withered soul. Today, it’s time that I return the favor.

These tales of petty revenge all took place over the three long years that I had the misfortune of working retail at a big-box store best known for its red bullseye logo and bitchy middle-class clientele. Enjoy.

ONE: THE TAG SWITCHER
I was working in the fitting room one night when this lady bustles in with 3000 different items of clothing that she wanted to try on. Unfortunately my store had just lifted the item limit for the fitting room, so I begrudgingly had to let her take everything back.

She proceeds to make a HUGE mess in the fitting room (leaving clothes inside-out all over the floor, tags ripped off of items, size stickers peeled off and slapped onto the wall… the whole nine yards).

After she leaves, I report the ripped off tags to Assets Protection (per fitting room policy) and, figuring that would be the extent of my revenge, I resigned to cleaning up the mess she left me.

Then I get a call from the manager. He wants me up at the registers to do back up. I had worked the registers before, but it was exceptionally rare for me to get pulled away from the fitting room to do backup. Still, I don’t protest and I head up to the register.

Guess who my first customer is? Yep, the mess-making bitch from the fitting room. The manager has directed her straight to me, and I can tell from the wide-eyed look of horror on her face that she realizes she has just been lead into a trap.

She slowly begins to plop her items onto the conveyerbelt and tries to make nervous small-talk. At first I assume she’s just feeling awkward about the mess that she left… but when I get a better look at her items, I immediately realize there’s something much fishier going on.

Her purchase consists entirely of women’s clothing, and I recognize most of the items as brand new stuff that has recently come in. Stuff that should cost full price. So when I see nearly every single item’s price tag covered with a bright red 70% off clearance sticker, I realize that something’s up. When I look down at the first item from her pile, my suspicions are confirmed: the item I’m holding in my hands is a woman’s Mossimo Black clothing item, but it has a bright blue Circo tag that belongs on infant boy clothes.

Busted! This bitch was switching tags on clothes to get a lower price! Not only that, but she was so brazen (or stupid) that she used tags from the wrong department!

I don’t make it immediately obvious that I’ve figured out her scheme. Instead, I think fast. From my experience in the fitting room, I know every item of clothing has a little white tag on the inside that has a nine-digit item code. So instead of scanning the items, I proceed to type in each and every item manually, using the ACTUAL numbers inside each garment.

The woman watches this all unfold with a nauseous look on her face, as item after item rings up at full price ($19 - $29, compared to the $2 or $4 price tags she had stuck on each item). As her total grows, so does the look of combined hatred and fear on her face.

Finally she stammers something about “coming back later” and runs off towards the exit. The Assets Protection guy watches her walk out, then comes over to me. He reveals that he had been watching this chick before she even went into the fitting room, but he didn’t have enough on camera to approach her. Since I was the only team member working that night who was familiar with the clothing / tags, the manager put me on the register to check her out.. literally!

TWO: THE PHONE SHOPPER
It’s the week before Christmas and the store is frantic. I’m manning the phones (which are ringing off the hook), and one night I get a call from Bitch Princess, who wants to know if we have any [insert name of whatever animatronic hatching robot dog toy every kid had to have that year].

Now the store’s holiday policy said we could confirm availability over the phone, but we weren’t supposed to put high-demand items (like the barking bird robot thing) on hold for a customer. Regardless, I was still un-jaded enough to like hooking people up (I’m still waiting on that lifetime of good retail karma to kick in…)

I let BP know that this highly-coveted toy has been flying off the shelves for weeks and I’m doubtful that we have any in stock, but I can happily check for her if she’s willing to go on a brief hold. She impatiently agrees to the hold, and I set the phone down.

After being slightly delayed by a customer that ambushed me on the sales floor, I miraculously find ONE of these stupid toys on the shelf. I grab it and head back to my post, excited to tell BP I just saved Christmas, but when I get back I find the phone ringing again. Recognizing the number on the caller ID display, I quickly deduce that Bitch Princess has hung up and is now calling back.

I barely get a chance to recite my scripted greeting before BP cuts me off, yelling that I put her on hold for “30 minutes” (more like 7), that she’s a customer and it’s my job to assist her, some nonsense about her having priority over the customers in the store, blah blah blah. I want to point out that literally NONE of what she’s saying is true, but I keep my lips sealed.

Instead, in a ridiculously pleasant voice, I say: “ma’am, thank you SO MUCH for your patience. I checked the sales floor and couldn’t find [stupid toy], but the computer is telling me that we might have one in the backroom. If you bear with me for another minute here, I can—”

She grumbled that yes, I could check the backroom, but I “better hurry” because she doesn’t have time for this. Smiling gleefully, I put the phone back on hold and proceed to return [stupid toy] to the spot where I found it on the sales floor. I then spend a nice chunk of time helping out ACTUAL customers in the store.

Eventually I remember that BP is still waiting on hold and I return to the phone. “Ma’am, good news… we do have ONE in stock,” I say. BP immediately barks at me to put it on hold, and a devious Grinch-like smile spreads across my face. “I’m so sorry ma’am, but we’re actually unable to put high-demand items on hold at this time. All I can do is confirm that it’s currently available on the sales floor…”

BP unleashes the wrath of a thousand fiery infernos and demands to speak to a manager. I oblige, transferring her to the closing manager (who confirmed the store policy, before promptly being hung up on).

I was pretty pleased with the turn of events, but the cherry on top came a short time later when BP actually shows up at the store, only to discover that the toy had already been purchased by another guest.

THREE: THE SHOE SNATCHER
It was nearly closing time, and I was tasked with “zoning” (or straightening up) the shoe department for the night. It was nearly impossible for me to get anything done, though, because this obnoxious woman kept making me drop everything to help her shop for shoes for her toddler.

The worst part was that the woman didn’t put anything back where she found it. Instead, she just leaves the shoe boxes strewn throughout the aisle (wtf). She finally leaves, and I drag myself over to the massive mess that she’s left behind.

As I’m returning all of the discarded shoe boxes to their rightful locations, I’m popping them open to make sure the correct shoes are inside. When I open one of the boxes, I discover a very sweet sight indeed: a dirty pair of toddler sneakers.

It’s a scam I’ve seen far too many times: someone swaps out a pair of new shoes with their old dirty shoes. Only this time, instead of getting away, I had caught the crook red-handed (or red-footed?)

I tucked the shoebox under my arm and quickly retraced the woman’s steps. Sure enough, I was able to find her in the grocery section. And sure enough, her toddler was sitting in the cart wearing a pair of brand new cartoon character sneakers.

I approached the mom with a giant shit-eating grin on my face and said: “I’m so glad I caught you! You almost left without these!” I held open the box with the dirty sneakers.

The woman had the nerve to pin the blame on her child, playing it off as if her kid had swapped the sneakers. Smh.  

BONUS: HERE’S ONE THAT’S SHORT & SWEET FOR THE ASS CLOWN IN THE COMMENTS WHO COMPLAINED ABOUT THIS BEING TL;DR  

Holiday shit always gets marked down to clearance the day after a holiday and people tend to get a little worked up about it. One time, this guy calls the store the day after Easter and asks how much the white chocolate Cadbury mini eggs had been discounted. I told him they were marked down 30% (the standard first mark down) and he’s not satisfied with that and hangs up. He proceeds to call back EVERY DAMN DAY to ask for the price, and every time he’s rude and weird about it. When they finally get marked down to 50%, I think he’ll bite… but nope. Still not cheap enough.

Finally at 90% he’s interested and asks me, over the phone, to take every single bag off the sales floor and put them on hold for him. I tell him no (goes against store policy to hold clearance), but since the candy is about to be defected (taken out of inventory), the manager tells me to just do it. So I wheel a cart over to the clearance aisle, and that’s when I hatch a plan.

There are two kinds of candy leftover in clearance: white chocolate Cadbury mini eggs, and white chocolate m&ms. For whatever reason, we have about 50 bags of each. Feeling a spirit of pettiness overtake me, I fill the cart with the m&ms and push it to the front with a 24 hour hold ticket. I wasn’t there when the guy showed up the next morning, but I’d imagine he was pretty livid to discover the wrong candy on hold, and then to realize that the actual candy he wanted had been defected out.

christmas at the burrow

•grandma molly announces picture time
•collective groans from all the kids
•they start with the entire family photo
•molly and arthur stand in the middle of course looking super proud of their big, loving family
•EVERYONE HAS THEIR CHRISTMAS SWEATERS ON
•the kids always try to spell words with the sweaters
•they adults pretend to not know what they’re doing because they secretly find it hilarious
•"aunt angelina it would look so great it you stood by grandma, and grandma you should be next to uncle percy AND LOUIS GO NEXT TO ANGELINA OH IT IS PERFECT"-(probably james or fred)
•that spells lamp
•these kids find it hilarious to spell the word lamp with sweaters
•one time they spelled alfalfa which the kids believe is their greatest accomplishment.
•then they take their individual family photos
•teddy is in every single one because teddy is basically everyone’s kid
•i forgot to mention that andromeda comes too
•george, angelina, fred, and roxanne take the stupidest christmas photo known to man. weird poses weird faces-everything.
•there is a strict schedule to follow. first they all open ONE christmas gift (the weasley sweater) then they eat, then take pictures, then they open the rest of their presents, and open the presents from santa the next morning.
•SOMEHOW they fit enough beds in the burrow for everyone
•"vic and i can always share a bed??“ teddy has asked this ever since they started dating
•you will never have any food as marvellous as the christmas food ad the burrow.
•all the kids have to go through the pain and suffering that their parents had to go through by preparing some of the ingredients
•"we have wands! we have MAGIC! and you are making us skin these damn potatoes.” “it’s supposed to be a humbling experience james.”
•it’s really loud
•like really really loud
•but they always have a moment of silence right before dinner in honour of fred
•well… they did
•george thinks that silence was never fred’s thing so they change it to an annual snowball fight
•james, george, and fred ii most likely have a prank war which results in many broken noses and fingers
•just a ton of games to be honest
•everyone gets a shit ton of weasley’s wizard wheezes products
•A CAULDRON FULL OF HOT, STRONG LOVE
•poor fleur basically dies because celestine warbeck is on constantly
•roxanne, lily and rose have extensive dance routines to all her songs
•albus spends a lot of his time asking if scorpius can get a weasley sweater
•everyone is super hesitant on the subject but albus convinces them after almost 2 years
•once scorpius gets his sweaters he starts coming over a few days after christmas because the family is there all holiday
•scorpius is eventually welcomed into the family after a few awkward hours
•i love scorpius
•cinnamon buns
•they get THE BEST presents aaaah
•they’re soosososo good
•the burrow is just full of love and happiness and warmth and stupid, petty, little fights but everyone still loves each other so damn much.

Secret Santa Gift EXCHANGE!

This is my secret santa gift for @pozolegirl 

I was so excited when I got my assignment and it was for someone whose work I already knew and admired! I hope you like your gift!! 


“So you were right.”

“Was I now?”

“Yes. Ladybug agreed that buying expensive jewelry for a girl you are not dating does, in fact, send mixed signals.” Chat sighed as he dropped down through the skylight and sprawled out against the bedding.

“I told you.” Marinette grinned smugly, not even bothering to look up at him from her desk.

“I can’t believe that you two are ganging up on me!” Chat whined, burying his face into her giant cat pillow.

“I can’t believe you talk about me to Ladybug.” Marinette laughed, her attention already back to whatever project she was currently working on.

“well, she doesn’t like it if I talk too much about my civilian life and you are my only other friend as Chat Noir.”

“I know but… never mind.” She shook her head softly, muttering something under her breath.

“So what sort of present do you want me to get you for Christmas?” Chat asked peering over the loft railing. She froze, her eyebrows furrowing. He grinned in anticipation.

“You already got me a present remember? The absurdly expensive piece of jewelry?” She finally looked up at him with an eyebrow raised challengingly.

“Yeah but you hated it.” He smirked.

“I did not hate it! I just thought a 295 Euro necklace was a little much for a just friends present.”

“Yes you made your feelings on that perfectly clear last time. The point is I need to get you a present that you actually appreciate getting.”

“I do appreciate it! I am literally wearing it right now!”

“That’s just cause you feel guilty. I will get you the perfect present. Just watch.”

Marinette groaned, pulling distractedly on her pigtails.

“Chat you are being ridiculous. You don’t need to get me another present.”

“What do you want?” he asked, grinning wider.

“I want you to not get me another present.”

“Try again. What do you want?”

“I’m not telling you,” she huffed.

“Fine. I have other ways of figuring things out. Just you wait Princess, I will get you the perfect Christmas present.” He stood up, giving her a jaunty salute as he pulled himself back up through the skylight.

“Chat!” She called after him.

He waited silently on her terrace, holding back the bubble of laughter in his chest. He could hear her shuffling around in the room, waiting to see if he would poke his head back in or if he had actually gone.

“Stupid cat,” she muttered finally.

Only then did he disappear into the night.

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