can i have a hale

Sleeping Beauty Ballet AU
Inspiration and reference:
Ballet in Cinema Trailer // Sleeping Beauty Trailer

Please, please do yourself a favor and watch these videos. They’re stunning!! (also the music is awesome heh)

Also I updated my redbubble with this and other pieces!


Addicted appreciation week: day one x favorite character

The alien scenario sounds more like a Lily Calloway theory. I understand what Connor is implying. “You think she knows Jonathan’s her fucking father?”
    Lily suddenly appears from the stairs with a big bowl of popcorn, unable to see my clothing from her vantage point. “Are you guys making a Hale family Star Wars alternate universe?” She lowers her voice, mimicking Darth Vader, “Willow, I am your father.”
                                                                 No one laughs.
A popcorn kernel falls out of Lily’s mouth. “Waaaait…this wasn’t a joke?”

Your Savior (Jasper Hale x Reader)

Prompt: Can I have a oneshot about my bae Jasper Hale ❤ With like his human mate. And have the Major ends up coming through when someone breaks into their mates house. Please? ❤ (requested)

Word Count: 786

A/N: I’m sorry if this is kind of shitty, I’m not feeling my best (I’m sick af) and I squished my brain trying to think of something good, but I tried! I still hope you like it <3 @rosequeensiera also, I’M EXTREMELY SORRY FOR BEING SO LATEEE, I’ve wrote this days ago but I couldn’t find the doc and  I wasn’t feeling good to write it again! sorry babe :(

I stirred in my sleep when I heard a sound downstairs, at first I thought that it was just the wind knocking at my windows but when I heard the sound of a chair moving I knew I wasn’t alone. I sat up straight on my bed and cursed under my breath when I remembered that Jasper wasn’t at my side taking care of me, he was in his house.

I moved trying to move quietly on my bed reaching for my cellphone that was sitting on my nightstand; I grabbed it and unblocked it as fast as I could, my fingers were trembling as I dialed Jasper’s number, I put the phone to my ear and heard the dial but in a second Jasper’s voice came through it.

“(Y/N)? What’s wrong, baby?” he said with a worried tone in his voice.

“Jasper, I think someone broke into my house” I whispered back.

Jasper’s POV (third person)

The moment he picked up the phone he knew something was wrong; it was odd that (Y/N) was calling him at almost 1:30 a.m.

“(Y/N)? What’s wrong, baby?” he was beyond worried especially when he could hear her unsteady breathing.

“Jasper, I think someone broke into my house” she whispered and something clicked inside of him, he no longer felt like himself, fury was running through his body.

“Don’t move, (Y/N), don’t even make a sound, I’ll be there in a minute” his voice came out darker than his usually calm one, he knew he wasn’t himself anymore, he was The Major, and he was going to make pay whoever had the audacity to break into (Y/N)’s house.

In a second he throws the phone onto the floor calling Edward’s attention, who was standing next to him reading all of the disturbing thoughts that were displaying on Jasper’s mind.

“I’ll go with you” he stated and Jasper simply nodded before he started running outside of his house into the forest with Edward following closely behind. In a matter of seconds he found himself on the front door of (Y/N)’s house, he quickly felt the scent of another person inside, growling he made his way to the front door and pushed it, silence surrounded him and Edward; he moved around the house but he wasn’t able to hear or see anything, the only thing that stood out where her belongings were trashed around, the cabinets and drawers were all opened, everything was a mess; anger went through his body like a powerful wave; he turned around to see Edward but he was already looking at him.

“I can’t hear anyone, I think whoever was here left already” he turned again and made his way upstairs to her room, from behind the door he could already hear the faint sound of crying so he pushed the door quickly.

(Y/N)’s POV

I knew someone was in my house, the sound of things being broken filled my ears and the only thing I managed to do was to hide under my bed wondering when the hell Jasper was going to come. Surpassingly the sounds faded rather quickly, I moved slowly from under my bed and sat in my bed, tears started flooding from my eyes letting all the stress out.

Suddenly my door opened and Jasper was on the other side looking intensely at me, his eyes were a little bit darker than normal and his features hardener once he saw me. I looked behind him where Edward was, looking at me with concern in his eyes.

Jasper started pacing around my room with his fist clenched and murmuring something under his breath, I could feel myself getting more anxious and it seemed that Jasper wasn’t able to notice that because he continued moving around.

Edward made his way quickly to my side and hugged me which made me relax a little more.

“Jasper is not himself right now” he whispered into my ear but we both looked at Jasper when we heard his voice.

“Let her go, Edward and move” his voice sounded harsh and his face showed no emotion whatsoever, Edward moves quickly, not before sending me a warning look; he got out of the room and disappeared.

Jasper made his way to my bed and sat down pulling me into his arms in a swift motion, I was starting to feel more relaxed but I knew that he was doing that and before I could even control myself the tears started flooding again and he tightened his grip on me.

“Hush baby, I’m here now, no one can harm you” his voice sounded more like himself and I let myself relax even more now that I knew he was back.

I am such a Tyler Hoechlin purist when it comes to Derek Hale. Whenever I see gifsets or edits that use Ian Nelson I’m just like “but… why wouldn’t you just use teen Hoechlin?”


Masquerada: Songs and Shadows is coming to PS4 and XBox One on Augst 8th! On top of that, the PC version is getting a really neat update with New Game + and other super cool things!

I really really recommend playing this game - it’s a fantastic and intriguing and fun and heartbreaking story with a bunch of characers you can’t help but love a lot. <3<3<3 See the link for the trailer, info on the update and new releases! ^U^

I so so recommend this game guys.

Preparing for Halloween

more wee!stiles and teen!derek for my babysitter!verse (ノ´ヮ´)ノ*:・゚✧

long time no see…8ㅁ8?

weh i miss drawing bb stiles and i did promise more of this verse so have some stiles awing over derek’s realistic ‘werewolf costume’ 

You’re Cute when you’re Jealous- Young Peter Hale

A/N: So here’s a young Peter Hale imagine for you all! I hope you enjoy! I’ve been re watching some old Teen wolf episodes and i forgot how much i love Peter and Derek Hale so i had fun writing this- Feel free to leave a comment or a request!

Requested by @awesomevietnamesepeople:  Can I have reader and young peter hale dating, and one day she finds him flirting with a lot of girls and gets mad, so throughout the school day she ignores him and gives him the cold shoulder while he’s just completely confused. You can finish it however you like

“Peter please, I need to study” You murmured trying to ignore his hand rubbing circles on your leg in the library

“You can study later” He whispered, planting a slow kiss to your neck which you quickly pulled away from

“No I can’t” You told him “And not in school” You said in reference to his kiss

“Fine I’ll see you at lunch then I guess” He said with a sigh before exiting the library in a huff.

 You and Peter had been somewhat together for a while now but you still didn’t want to make things public, you liked it being a secret between just you two, in your opinion it kept it exciting.

The bell rang for lunch and you slowly packed away your things, reluctant to see Peter as you already knew he was in a bad mood from your earlier conversation.

As you walked into the canteen, the first thing you saw was Peter sat across from some girl you’d never seen before, you could see her shoulders rising and falling in laughter and he was wearing one of his most charming smiles. Instantly you felt your stomach churn with a wave of jealousy, but you calmly walked over placing your things down and sliding into the seat next to Peter.

“Hey” You said as you sat down, eyeing the girl opposite you

“Y/N, this is Eliza” Peter said his open palm signalling to the other girl “Eliza this is Y/N”

“Nice to meet you” She hummed sweetly

“She’s new here” Peter explained “I said I’d show her around”

“How nice of you” You smiled sarcastically at him “Well I best let you get on” You said rising from your seat and going to sit with your other friends, all the while keeping a trained eye on him and the new girl.

“Hey” He nudged your side as he slid into the seat next to you in Chemistry, you turned to face him and instantly your eyes dropped when you saw the new girl, Eliza, sat to the right of Peter

You rolled your eyes and faced the front again, twirling your pen passively aggressively between your fingers. Throughout the lesson Peter didn’t bother trying to talk to you again, so you were left to stew in annoyance and jealousy as you listened to Eliza’s constant giggles and watched her flutter her lashes at Peter.

“So you going to tell me why you’ve been ignoring me since lunch?” Peter asked as he caught up with you as you left school for the end of the day

“Cut the crap Peter” You sighed, picking up your pace

“What did I do?” He asked genuinely, turning you around by your shoulders and gazing into your eyes

“You know what you did Peter” You huffed whilst he just stared at you, waiting for you to continue “If you thought I’d appreciate you flirting with Eliza all day then you were wrong” You explained before pulling yourself out of his grip and walking out into the parking lot

“So you’re jealous?” He smirked catching up to you once again

“Well you can wipe that smug look of your face for a start” You said, his cocky face only fuelling your annoyance

“Y/N” He laughed before gently grasping your face in his hands “Eliza doesn’t even come close to you” He said, rubbing his thumb lightly across your cheekbone

“You have nothing to worry about” He reassured you before quickly pecking a gentle kiss to your lips

“What was that for?” You asked with a smile

“You’re cute when you’re jealous” He smirked, linking his fingers with yours begin to lead you away from the school “Maybe I should try flirting with girls more often” He joked

“Don’t you dare” You smirked nudging into his side with a grin on your face

anonymous asked:

Oh gosh can I have 'Alive Hale Family' and/or 'Stiles went back to past to save the Hale' Steter fics????

Here’s Alive Hale Family and Steter. And here’s our time travel tag. - Anastasia

Originally posted by itsmsletsp

147 pounds by Rabid_X

(1/1 I 912 I General)

Peter Hale finds himself having another mate after the death of his first in the Hale Fire. Needless to say, he’s reluctant.

“Talia, he’s a child.”

“He’s a young man, Peter,” His sister, his Alpha, said, dark eyes flashing with amusement. “And he’s brilliant, opinionated and you love his scent.”

Adventures with werecoons by TriscuitsandSoup

(1/1 I 948 I Teen)

Laura didn’t believe Derek when he said Stiles wasn’t being abused. Her mean-spirited, cruel, dripping with sarcasm uncle could not love a weak, spastic human, like the one Derek described.

Come Out and Play by friend9810

(1/1 I 1,165 I Teen)

Stiles is a college freshman. Peter is his roommate. This couldn’t possibly end well.

(Un)Lucky by makingitwork

(1/1 I 1,596 I General)

Peter is both lucky and unlucky.

He’s lucky because he’s found his soul mate, and that’s one of the rarest things to do.

He’s unlucky because that soul mate is the five year old Stiles Stilinski- who is amazing and perfect, it’s only that he’s 22 years younger than him and

his father owns a gun.

Better than Pretzel Dogs by thehyacinthgirl

(1/1 I 2,538 I Mature)

Stiles works at a Pretzel shop in the mall and boasts a challenge to Peter.

Of Folklore, Comparative Literature, and The Good Old Days by scorchedpeter

(2/? I 3,539 I Mature)

He dropped the highlighter in his hand, fumbled his phone free of the pocket of his slacks, and almost cursed out loud at the number of Facebook notifications he had. They kept steadily climbing as Stiles shakily unlocked his phone to confirm what he had a feeling had happened. And yep, Erica had posted a suspiciously innocent and sweet comment on his wall about an hour ago, “Oh! Memories of the good old days when you still knew how to have fun. Can’t wait to see you and Lydia Martin when you come home for Christmas, Batman!”

She had included a link and Stiles couldn’t help but hold his breath as he clicked it. He was redirected to the YouTube app and the second that the video loaded, Stiles felt his shoulders sag in defeat, because he had always made it a point to accept friend requests from his students. Obviously, he would now have to rethink that policy because every one of them could see the video.

Every one of them now had the link to the old YouTube channel.


Growing Up, Growing Strong by cywscross

(1/1 I 9,947 I Teen)

Stiles is adopted by the Hales.

Handler Protocols and Other Related Things by WindyRein

(1/1 I 4,962 I Teen)

It starts with some really sketchy Craigslist ads and it ends with a coffee shop and his soulmate. Not bad if he says so himself.

The Best Kind of Hunger by oriolevent

(2/? I 5,005 I Teen)

An old friend of the Hale pack disappears. The Yukimura clan is enlisted to help. Peter discovers Stiles is much more interesting than a potential murder mystery.

At Least Taste the Fruit by BeyondtheKilljoy

(5/? I 6,149 I Mature)

Maybe Stiles wanted to dig into himself, pulling out until he had nothing. All he knew was his bones were too big, his body too tired, and he’s eating too much. All he knew was craving, and when that was gone, what was left?


Heretics and Bastards by JusticeBanana

(3/? I 7,517 I Mature)

Peter is sick of court and the drama it entails. His sister is creating a life for her and her children in a new and promising land that Peter finds cold and horrid. Soon he is dragged into something much bigger than himself and the usual royal court happenings. This boy he thinks he failed to keep from harm may not be safe but he is alive.

Spare the Details by wynnebat

(1/1 I 8,612 I Teen)

Admittedly, it hadn’t been the most precise plan, but this was a bit much.

my soul be still by sinequanon

(6/6 I 11,521 I Teen)

When the Sheriff loses his son, his calls his sister-in-law Ellen and the Winchesters to help him get Stiles back. Unfortunately, getting him home was the easy part.

Angel Baby by Dime6119

(8/8 I 14,189 I Mature)

Stiles glared down at the white stick in his hand shaking it hoping that the little pink plus would go away. He had done the same thing with the last eight test but they all still had that stupid plus sign on it.

Stiles has a one night stand when he turns eighteen, and now has to deal with having a baby.

Beautician and the Beast by MaroonDragon

(10/10 I 18,168 I Teen)

Peter likes to look good. He sells himself through his looks. So why shouldn’t he make sure that he’s as handsome as possible when he’s shifted? Why would anyone want to have a dry and coarse fur when it’s not needed? So he goes to a dog beauty parlour on a regular basis. When Stiles opens up a new shop in town, Peter finds way more than a new place to have his nails trimmed and his hair done. The only problem is, how can he seduce the guy when he’s on four paws and believed to be just a very large dog?

Sanctuary by DiscontentedWinter

(22/22 I 56,524 I Mature)

The Hale Wolf Sanctuary isn’t just for wolves.

It turns out it’s for Stilinskis as well.

Alpha&Omega by Mellow (SweetCandy)

(7/? I 65,828 I Explicit)

He didn’t miss the feeling of a warm body in his bed, he didn’t wish for someone who would greet him at the doorstep when he came home after a long day of work, or who would bid him goodbye with a soft kiss.

Peter didn’t want his home smelling like a mixture of his musky, dark alpha scent and a sweet, playful omega scent. He didn’t long to hear the sound of small feet running around the house, calling him Daddy or Papa and demanding to get ice cream for dinner or not having to go to kindergarten because it was stupid.

No, he didn’t want kids, he didn’t want a relationship and most importantly: he didn’t want a fucking omega.


Or: Peter Hale, successful businessman and Alpha werewolf, doesn’t want an Omega no matter how much his sister urges him to finally claim a mate. He has never been interested in an Omega.
At least until he runs into one Stiles Stilinski at his nephew’s birthday party, who falls for him in more than just one way.


Jasper Hale imagine requested by anon. “Can I have a Jasper imagine when the reader gets a cold and goes to school anyway. Just like fluff and protective Jasper overload? You can include the rest of the Cullens if you want! Love your writing!!! ” Hope you like it!

“You really should be home,” he reminded you, his voice low enough to avoid detection as your teacher continued his droning statistical speech on the dangers of life in the throws of Bubonic plague. An incredibly ironic lecture, considering your current state of failing health. Your world was all but spinning from the swirling fever circulating your body, returning every so often to flush your otherwise pallid cheeks with unhealthy colour. You shook your head, your temples stinging with the sharpness of an oncoming migraine, tortured by the slightest of movement, rejecting your lover’s concern for your well-being. If he survived the Civil War, bearing witness to countless amputations and bouts of ruthless dysentery, he could handle watching you hustle through something as minor as the common cold. He spoke once more, his voice in your ear, his breath stirring your hair, adhering a few stray strands to the light sheen of sweat coating your forehead. “You’re choosing now to wage bio-warfare? This class isn’t meant to inspire you, Y/n.” You continued to ignore him, scribbling down notes on Caffa and the Genoese with shakier handwriting than usual. Jasper sighed, his posture relaxing in defeat. “I’ll drive,” he offered, your eyes finally meeting his, a darker gold than he usually sported, his hunting activities slipping while he watched you grow progressively sicker.

“Jasper, we’ve got a week until finals. I can’t afford to miss any classes, and I won’t be able to make up any assignments before the term ends if I’m out of school,” you watched his eyes roll, his lips parting to counter your argument. You shot him a stern look, your face flushing with uncomfortable heat, continuing your speech over his oncoming words. “I’d feel the same at home, Jazz. It’s better that I’m here. It’s productive. I’m fine.” Your eyes locked on the board, copying the next few bullet points on the ridiculous methods taken to infect the city. Jasper leaned in close beside you, causing you to instinctually lean away. You knew he couldn’t contract your illness, but you couldn’t help the knee-jerk reaction. He chuckled under his breath, watching you return to your slumped posture.

“Y/n, I’ve taken this course over twenty times. I can help you study. I can do your homework for you,” he offered, his grin obvious in his voice. You scoffed, which became a rasping cough in record time, sorting your thoughts in the aftermath of your respiratory assault.

“Whatever happened to integrity?” you mumbled, watching Jasper’s head duck to mask his smile, his hand flitting easily over the lines of his notebook, writing from memory the events following patient zero, his voice breaching a whisper in order to reach your ears.

“You’re talking integrity to the man who lied his way into the Confederate army?” You groaned in defeat, resting your head on your folded arms, your world shrouded in glorious shadow, your head pounding with a lesser intensity in the absence of harsh fluorescent lighting. Jasper’s hand trailed over your back, rubbing in near unnoticeable circles unseen by the rest of the class due to your seating pressed against the farthest wall. “Yeah, you’re fine, alright. Just fine.” You shifted your head, pressing your eyelids further against the material of your hoodie, the feeling of fibers scratching against your skin distracting, if only momentarily, from the pressure against your skull. Jasper’s frigid fingers against the back of your neck certainly helped, and you felt too sluggish and sticky to mind terribly that he was likely encountering a generous amount of sweat while he attempted to cool your rising temperature.

You fought against your every instinct to allow Jasper to crutch you out of History, opting instead to fold your trembling fingers with his, pressing your clammy palm to the smooth marble of his hand as you left the room, your teacher eyeing you warily before pumping a gelatinous pool of hand sanitizer into his waiting palm. Jasper eyed you pointedly, as if to prove his point that he wasn’t the only person wishing you weren’t attending Forks High today, but you continued your newfound habit of ignoring him. It wasn’t a difficult feat, considering the roiling waves flooding your body absorbed the most of your attention. It was a struggle to keep upright, let alone remain attentive. You ended up leaning your body against Jasper’s side, his arm snaking around your shoulder, effortlessly carting you through the throngs of students en route to their study halls. You wound up beside the school’s main stairwell, meeting up with the rest of the Cullen clan, their golden eyes, save one pair of warm brown, dissecting your deteriorating state. Emmett was the first to speak up, his usual brutal honesty spawning an over-dramatic assessment of your physical appearance.

Jesus, Jasper, you’ve got more life in you than she does! What is it, the plague?” You grumbled about your sneaking suspicions, Emmett’s grimace deepening. “Dude, I think you might need to bite her or something. She looks like she’s goin’ down quick. Wouldn’t want the rest of Forks catching whatever she’s got.” He turned slowly to Edward, the most experienced with flu-like symptoms and on-the-spot vampire transformation, his eyes pleading for answers. He didn’t appear to be amused by the connection his brother had made. “Should we call Carlisle, or let Jazz have a go at it?” Edward rolled his eyes, pulling Bella into his side, her head resting against his shoulder, her eyes sympathetic on yours. Jasper shot his brother a hard look for even suggesting he try his hand at tasting human blood, his voice bordering on a growl when next he spoke.

“I’m not going to bite her, Emmett,” he snarled, his hulk of a brother offering you an apologetic glance, lifting his hands in a helpless sort of way, faux-disappointed that his plan to help you had fallen through. Jasper’s jaw clenched, his posture stiffened. Serious or not, Jasper wasn’t fond of the drink-your-date jibes Emmett made whenever you were around. You groaned, your hand dragging over your forehead, your fingers collecting beads of sweat as you moved.

“Ugh, please do,” you begged, your voice a soft, meek plea for release. Emmett chuckled, slapping you on the shoulder for your commitment to his joke, the playful force causing your body to sway. You ducked your face into Jasper’s shoulder, your mouth downturned in a grimace.

“See? I told you I’m not the only one gunning down vampire boulevard.” The vampire by her side chuckled, his butterscotch eyes rolling above a bemused smile. Clearly, they’d had this conversation before. You were no stranger to Bella’s desire to join her lover in eternity, and considering vampire’s couldn’t get sick, you were starting to buy into her logic.

“Let’s do this later, alright? Perhaps repeatedly saying the word “vampire” in a hall of mortal students isn’t the best idea, no matter how much the humans,” he paused, his hand on Bella’s waist squeezing affectionately, “want to discuss the terms of their impending doom.” You groaned, your voice scratching against your throat as your words made their way to your lips.

“So no one’s going to put me out of my misery?” your words provoking a whispered “oh, now you’re miserable?” from Jasper’s lips, pressing a cool kiss to your temple, easing the heat of your fever for a brief moment of unexpected bliss.

“That’s a great idea, Y/n. I’m sure the three-day stint in a hot tub of boiling agony is much less severe than a common cold,” Alice whispered, her voice friendly despite the weight of her words. You shot her a pleading glance, her eyes lifting from their intense focus on your face, her vision hazing slightly as if she were watching an alternate image to the one before her. Her lips pursed in defeat, her gaze returning to your face. “You have five more days. But you’ll be healthy as a horse for finals!” You weren’t in the mood to allow her contagious optimism to take hold of you; today, you were far more viral.

“Thank God. I was really worried, there,” you murmured, your sarcasm seeping through even your whisper. Alice’s face deflated in apology, her brows pinching with sympathy. You turned your face upward to Jasper, his deep golden eyes awaiting your next words, a smile toying with his lips. “You know what, you win. Let’s go home.” Jasper smiled victoriously, his hand dropping to your waist, holding most of your wait as he turned you away from his family, Alice and Bella calling a hopeful “feel better!” as you departed.

“Yes, ma’am,” He parted the crowds easily, ghosting you through the halls as easily as if there were no students blocking your path. You had a creeping feeling that you were making a solid contribution to the splitting of the human sea; one look at you, and people were pressing themselves against their lockers, none of them willing to fall victim to whatever it was that was sabotaging your health. Jasper pushed the heavy metal doors open, exposing you to the chill of the rain outside, half-carrying you to the passenger side of his brother’s car, shutting down your protests when you reached the door with a quick shake of his head. “I already asked, he said it was fine. They’re going to run, it’’s faster that way anyways, and Edward’s going home with Bella.” He opened the door, guiding you inside and pressing a kiss to your forehead before closing you in. Seconds later, he was behind the wheel, steering you out of the parking lot, his eyes dissecting the road before falling on your face. “Edward’s going down to the office to let them know you had to duck out. The receptionist would leave her husband in a heartbeat for him, so you should be fine.” you settled into the Volvo’s soft leather upholstery, snuggling up against the window, your arms acting as pillows. Jasper’s hand fell to your knee, offering his condolences as he guided his brother’s car to the driveway of your home.

Your parents were out of the house until the evening, allowing Jasper some leeway in the obscene-strength department. He hoisted you from your seat and into his arms, carrying you into your home and into your bedroom, tucking you easily beneath the sheets, as if all of his strength was not expended in carrying you from the car. He pulled the comforter up around your chin, walking around to the opposite end of your bed before joining you atop the sheets, his arm snaking over your waist, his skin cooling you where you touched. You sighed, exponentially more comfortable in your own home than you would have been surviving another handful of hours behind a desk, content to wallow in self-pity without twenty-odd onlookers.

“I don’t think I can do another five days of this,” you moaned, your face pressing into your pillow in defeat. Jasper inched closer, his lips in your hair, his body secure beside you, anchoring you.

“You’ve survived worse,” he reminded you, offering a devilish grin when you turned your head in confusion. You rolled your eyes, letting your head fall back to the pillow. “If you haven’t died yet, this won’t kill you. Think about it. You walk around surrounded by vampires. You’re home alone with a vampire right now. You think a cold is going to be the end of you?” You mumbled something nearly incoherent about being doomed to die, eliciting a chuckle from Jasper, his hand smoothing over your hair, the temperature of his skin delectable while yours burnt so warmly. “Go on, rest. You deserve it.” You allowed his gentle attentions to lull you to sleep, sparing you, for a few hours, at least, from the sluggish sickness trapping you, if only for a few days more. You drifted off to blissful sleep.


Cursed: Sterek

↳ Unable to sleep, Stiles decides to go for a drive and runs into a stray dog that reminds him a little too much of a certain Sourwolf, who he definitely hasn’t been missing