DEH characters as things I've said
Evan: Hello friend! Oh, I’m sorry–did I preemptively call you my friend??.
Connor: *someone says something about wanting to die* would you like the train schedule? Or maybe a tutorial with a cute anime girl showing you how to tie a noose?.
Jared: sometimes I say things that I genuinely mean but I’ve been sarcastic for so long even saying meaningful things comes across as apathetic sarcasm.
Zoe: one time my brother tried to convince me to walk into traffic when I was 2.
Alana: I’m smart! I’m sure I can learn a entire language and bring up my education level so I can get my GED early
*hasn’t been to actual school in 8 years and doesn’t know how to do basic math*
yeah! I got this!!.