can i buy you

All the urban legends came true at once.

Of course, I was six pages deep in a tax audit at the time. Chewing a pen when a rash of mothers with broken backs were rushed to the hospital, courteousy of uncareful feet smashing on cracks. Doctors, unsure at the time, blamed osteoporosis.

It was watched pots that remained cool. Or salt thrown over a shoulder that - for a second - showed a devil’s eye. Or it was the alligators. Don’t get me started on the alligators.

But something was the first whisper of what we’d woken up. Nobody wanted to say it out loud, because it sounded so ridiculous. It was a secret that swelled in our cheeks. Phrases we had always said that went silent.

All the hauntings came true. We had photograpic evidence of spirits. That’s probably what started the mass hysteria.

Some things took longer. Rubbing a statue for luck or breaking a mirror. Delayed response. One bad day turns into a bad month. Then you’re at the local witch place begging for a respite - seven years of bad luck?! - and she’s shaking her head. Nothing to be done.

Oh, the witches. The funny thing is that when people have always called you a witch, they’re surprisingly needy when you turn out to be one. When the world shifted, little towns who avoided one woman for her witchiness were now flocking to her because their legend had made her become one.

Pens mightier than swords. Avoiding groups of certain numbers. When a knife drops, we all hold our breath for the fight. A fork means company will show up, confused how they arrived.

It got better for a moment, for a breath, while we figured out the rules of it. What was a legend and what was myth. What kind of faith was big enough and what was too big. Some legends only effected certain areas. Some only certain people. We sunk money into infrastructure for once to clear up cracks. Stepped over salt in every building. Sold amulets like trinkets. For a second, we almost got our feet under us.

And then it got worse. Sometimes the company you invited was strange, unhuman. You had to wear iron. We had loved our cryptids until they came down from the mountains, worse than we could have predicted. Bowls of milk were on every window sill but most of them rotted.

In the books, we had all read about the end of the old ones. The unspeakable ones, who went off into the hills one day. Who we cannot say the name of. Who did not exist in the land of buses or planes. Who can steal you if they know your name, who can never lie but do a good job of it anyway.

We were not ready. The Folk showed up through the thin veil, and they were already laughing.

And they were just the beginning.


Because my workload was increased quadruple plus, I was still out on the floor when we opened. And I was speeding around the floor trying to get everything accounted for because I did not want to stay longer than I had to. I already knew I was going to be late clocking out. 

I’m picking out something and this old lady hands me an ornament. 

“This one’s broken.”

“Oh,” I said flatly. “I will take care of it. Thank you.”

I sped off. 

A few minutes later, I had another item to look for in that area. 

She’s still there. 

“This is the backing from the ornament. So you can fix it.”

“Oh. I will take care of that.”

I have given off every impression that I am busy. Like… I am being cold and unemotional and I am running off every time she talks to me because I do not have time to spare. 

Now. For Christmas, we have some of those floor pianos. We got them in on the 15th and we’re already out. I’m speeding by the empty display and who the fuck is there but the old lady. 

“Excuse me, excuse me!” I stop. “You had these floor pianos yesterday. Do you have any left?”

“I’m afraid that we don’t have any left.”

“What about the one at the front desk?”

“If it is at the front desk, then it is on hold.”

“Can you check?”

If it is at the front desk, then it is on hold. That is what I just said. There is no wavering from t his fact. It is on hold. 

“I will go check.”

Instead of just leaving me to take care of it, she follows me to the desk. She is watching me like a hawk as I ask every cashier if the piano is on hold. 

“Is there a note on it?” The woman asks. 

Please let me do my job. “One second, please.” I ask over the headset if anyone knows. They tell me that they will be here to pick it up today. She is, of course, talking the entire time. I tell her what they told me. 

“If they don’t pick it up today, can you put it on hold for me?”

I ask. 

“We cannot put it on consecutive holds.”

“Can you leave a note saying that I want it?”

“That would be a consecutive hold.”

“You can’t even leave a note?”

“We are not supposed to hold an item for two people at once.”

I have lost twenty minutes to this woman because she won’t just take ‘no, it is on hold- please go to another store’ as an answer. She has not picked up on the heavy hints that I do not have time for this yuletide nonsense. 

“Well can I come back when it’s not on hold?”

“In 24 hours.”

“24 hours from now or 24 hours from when they put it on hold?”

“Come back tomorrow.”

“That’s not 24 hours.”


“We take the hold off after closing. Come back tomorrow. If it’s still here, you can buy it.”

“But you can’t leave a note.”

“If I leave a note saying that it’s being held for two people, it will be confusing. We cannot put it on hold for you while it is on hold for someone else.”

This is why I hate Christmas.

“Well. I guess I’ll come back tomorrow.”

Please do not. 

You can go your own way
Whenever you choose
But I hope with all my heart
We keep coming together.
I think it helps that I realize
I can’t sell you what you don’t want to buy
Thankfully, you prove you’re invested too.
I want you to know I won’t block
Your way should you decide to go;
If you did, I trust you’d feel
It’s what you must do.
I always want what’s best
For you, even if that’s not me…
Though I pray
It always will be.

Bold lines are lyrics from: “Go Your Own Way” written by Lindsey Buckingham, and “What About Love” written by Brian Allen and Jim Vallance, respectively

anonymous asked:

i'm glad someone got you the PS4 like you're constantly sharing/discussing shit for free on top of being really funny. why would you not get some kind of gift or payment for that??? i hope more games come out that you like for it too so i can buy you a gift too!!!

this is so nice! but also true you right!!


I would prefer trading but you can buy the things listed below too. I ask you pay the shipping, since I live in Peru so it will probably have to be internationally shipped

-Wasp wet specimen ($5)
-Fossilized shark teeth (price varies but I’ll say 3 for $3)
-Dried baby’s breath ($5 a handful)
-Ermine leg bone pendant ($5)
-I can send pictures of the pages of my pamistry, tarot, or Wicca books ($7 per book)
-Peruvian candy (price varies)
-Small snail shell ($1)
-Black or sage salt ($2)
-Mystery cone incense (it came in a pack with no label, $1 each)
-Muskrat tooth ($1)

Services: (prices vary)
-Digital art (witchsonas, icons, etc)
-Custom Spell
-Custom Sigil
-Pendulum reading
-Palm reading
-Tarot reading

-note/sketchbooks/stationary stuff
-mortar and pestle
-glass pen

Contact me at @nosenseincense


I want to buy Kaoya’s side stories so I’m willing to put in a bulk order to offset delivery fees. If anyone’s interested in purchasing her books (Demons and Disasters or any of her genosai doujins) but are daunted by the website, I can buy and mail them to you. Please be aware, they are only available in chinese.

Drop me a line at if you’re interested.

anonymous asked:

Do you know where I can buy cheap flash cards?

I buy system cards from Officeworks - sometimes the bigger packs are on special which is good! x

banesfuture  asked:

@anon that asked about Ratchett's brown leather jacket: that was one of the few clothing pieces in the movie that are actually vintage and not specifically made. The exact designer brand for his jacket wasn't mentioned, but if you Google "1920s leather trench coat" or "long leather windbreaker jacket" you'll find a bunch of results. They're back in fashion so if you want to buy one, I think you can easily find them in every size and color. :)

Hi sweetie!! thank you very much for these!!!!! xoxox

Here you go anon!!!

I’ve never read a book that treated its characters with more tenderness, generosity, and sympathy than Benjamin Sáenz’s Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. Even when the characters don’t think they deserve it, especially when the characters don’t think they deserve it, the narrative holds out cupped hands full of love and patiently waits for them to take it. It makes my heart ache so much; it’s a book that genuinely makes me aspire to be a kinder person.

I’m already in love with this game. It hits real hard as a young adult. Mae is a fantastic protagonist.



the war : the power of music tracklist  °☆ :*


King’s Maker
→ You must remember. Do not ever covet the king’s possessions. Even if you see something, act like you do not. Even if you hear something, act like you do not. And even if you want something, act like you do not.

can we stop treating buying albums like a mandatory and a way to “proof” your love for your faves? some people like to buy digital versions or specific songs and others can’t afford albums or just DON’T.WANT.TO.BUY.THEM. gtfo of other people’s wallets and worry about yourself. you bought yourself an album with your own money? cool, now let people do what they want with their own money