can i be old and pretty now

dragonfishdreams  asked:

I saw a lot of mp100 art before I learned anything much about the characters. Which, you know, common occurrence, and most of it seemed pretty straight-forward. Except Teru. He confused me so hard - sometimes?? His hair was?! Short?? Except other times? It wasn't?!? So. Much. Confusion. I finally came to the conclusion, somehow, that Teru's hair grew when he was using his psychic powers. Now I know it's a wig, but... my old idea still just feels so TERU.

it really does??? fundamentally i’d say it’s Exactly The Same, only teru apparently can’t use his psychic powers to grow his hair. if he could, i Guarantee he would have grown it to be just like the haystack wig.

his overcompensation for unanticipated baldness is not hindered by whether he uses psychic or non-psychic means. the haystack is a constant

Notes to the girl whose house I live in

by reddit user JJX2525

It took me a week to find where you keep your wifi password. A whole week! I was really worried you’d thrown it away, but lo and behold, there it was in the cutlery drawer of all places. Everything about the way you organize things confuses me. I guess because you live on your own now you just put things any old place. I know there was someone else before, I heard you talking about him on the phone. Johnny, I think? Jimmy? Anyway, I know because you said it was tough being alone. But you’re not alone, of course. You have me!

Keep reading

listen i got a rabbit when i was the ripe age of eight years old. originally named him button bc that was my old rabbits name and i was convinced if i just gave him that name the spirit of button would live on in him (rip in peace tiny friend) but after a while he chewed threw the fuckin lawn mower wire so my eight year old self called that sucker chompy. now i dont kno if you kno but rabbits are supposed to live like six to eight years as a pet, and before that button had kicked the proverbial fuckin bucket after a few months so we weren’t expecting the situation we’re currently in. chompy, as it turns out, gives absolutely 0 fucks what any rabbit website says. i am nearly twenty years old and this little dude just wont quit. you bet ur bottom dollar i go out every single mornin rain or shine to let his sorry ass out of the hutch so he can eat the grass, chase the birds and make my mum gnash her teeth and cry bc we cant plant shit bc he’ll straight up just devour any plant he finds. eleven years. this fucker is eleven years old. im pretty sure he’s just running on straight up spite at this point bc everyone i speak to in my family is like ‘is that rabbit still going?????’ you better FUCKIN believe that rabbit is tearin shit up in my back garden to this day. but now im in this situation where i tell ppl i have a rabbit and theyre like ‘ooo whats his name??’ and i, a nineteen year old, have to look them dead in the eye and say chompy. the ridiculous fuckin name i gave him eleven years ago. what a world 

read-play-sing  asked:

Yesterday, you reblogged a post that bought into the false dichotomy of convenience food vs "hipster healthy" food. "Mom&pop healthy" is as cheap/cheaper than convenience food. Get a fridge. Most fresh foods keep 2 weeks if stored properly, make a weekly grocery trip to have no waste. Healthy eating means getting the nutrition you need and not going over the calories you need. Apples and hard-boiled eggs are both convenient and healthy. Learn to cook. You can be poor and eat healthy.

Aw, howdy, puddin’!

I am…

…reasonably middle class, which is a miracle for a full-time author.
…equipped of a fridge, a pantry, a chest freezer, and a working kitchen.
…capable of cooking for myself and others.

I am also…

…the daughter of a woman who raised three daughters on welfare.
…formerly homeless.
…a fat woman who has to fight not to slip back into disordered eating habits because of items #1 and #2.
…someone who goes to the grocery store multiple times a week.
…regularly furious about food waste in my own home when people refuse to eat their leftovers/help eat communal leftovers.

So let’s go.

The specific post I reblogged worked from the base premise that it is easier to eat, where “eat” is defined as “get sufficient calories to not feel hungry,” when you are not making a concerted effort to “eat healthy.”  It cited things like “a package of extremely filling oatmeal cookies for a dollar,” and “behold, ramen.”  Interestingly, it did not cite anything to support the “false dichotomy” you’re accusing me of supporting: for reference, here’s the link  http://seananmcguire.tumblr.com/post/164447064675/heyatleastitsnotcancer-candygirl1997

(There is a cranky comment about non-GMO unicorn poop, but as hipsters don’t actually eat shit, that seems less “dichotomy,” and more “angry.”)

But hey, that seems suspiciously like people wanting other people to stop dictating their food choices and assuming they’re eating that way out of necessity, and not because they’re lazy.  That can’t be right!  We need someone who’s seen both sides!

And that’s why now, as someone who used to eat out of dumpsters, as someone who was lucky enough to be poor in farming country and hence have access to produce seconds (IE, bruised and ugly fruit that no one else wanted), as someone who is emotionally incapable of looking at meat before checking the discount meat bin at the grocery store, I am going to answer the question of whether it’s cheaper to eat healthy once and for all:

No.

No, it is not.

No, it is fucking not.

I live near an independently owned fruit market.  They have, regularly, red and gold potatoes for $.99 a pound.  They have big Idaho bakers for $.59 a pound.  These are some of the best potato prices I have ever seen.  Had we lived here when I was a kid, I would have eaten potatoes until I wept.  Assuming that potatoes are now the bulk of our diet, and that we’re only eating the cheap ones, that’s a pound of potatoes per person, per day, for a total of $2.40.  Call it $2.50, after tax.  We are now spending $75 a month on potatoes.  No butter or sour cream, because potatoes are already starchy as hell, and fuck taste, but we have potatoes!

Great.  Do we have a kitchen?  We didn’t, always.  For approximately 1/3rd of my childhood, this plan has us eating raw potatoes.  But let’s say sure.  We can cook our plain potatoes.  Say we cook them every night, and have hot potato for dinner, and then cold potato for breakfast.  Can’t eat the school lunch–pretty sure that’s not healthy enough.  So I guess we’ll buy and boil eggs.  You can boil eggs and potatoes in the same pot.

How many eggs do you give the starving, miserable eight-year-old to fill her up?  Ballpark figure?  Is it the same number you give her fourteen-year-old sister?  Is it the same number you take to your back-breaking physical labor job?  We’re ignoring the emotional and social impacts here, and just focusing on the cost.  So say three eggs each.  Maybe everyone’s hungry, but hey, it’s health food.

A dozen eggs is $2.00.  We are now spending $60 a month on eggs.  That’s $135 a month for a diet that is probably not making anyone happy, but hey, at least it’s all easy on the digestion, right?  And if you’re eating three eggs a day, even if you’re soloing this You Should Be Punished For Poverty diet, your eggs aren’t spoiling.  Assuming you have a fridge.

Hope you have a fridge.

Your children have now started going home with friends in hopes of being fed, but that’s okay, because it means you have fewer mouths to feed, and if you don’t want them to be taken away, you need to make sure they don’t get scurvy.  So we’re going to add milk ($3.50 a gallon, hope no one’s lactose intolerant, if you water it down and watch them like a hawk, you can survive on two gallons a week, which adds $28 to your grocery costs, good job) and apples.  Red delicious, of course, which taste like shame, but they’re cheap when the store has them…assuming you’re not in a food desert, where the only apples are coming from the 7-11 at a dollar apiece.

There are so many things we could be buying to make this feel less like a Dickens novel.  There’s baloney, and peanut butter, and generic mac and cheese.  But they’re not healthy.

Eating healthy is a privilege.  When I made a dedicated effort to change my eating habits, my grocery bills increased by 60%.  I have the receipts.  Not because I was buying “brand names”: because I was buying chicken breasts instead of whole chickens, because I was buying fresh instead of frozen, because I was learning to fill up on things other than chips.  That’s just the way we’ve allowed this country to structure our food.

Yes: allowed.  In England–which has its own problems, please don’t take this as me going YAY ENGLAND LAND OF PERFECTION–they have laws setting the prices that can be charged for “staples,” like chicken, and potatoes, and bread, and butter, and eggs, and milk.  It’s much easier to eat healthy there than it is here.

But here, it is a privilege.

And it ought to be a right.

Truth about the 'Glamorous Lifestyle' of a Sugar Baby/Escort.

To Aspiring Sugar babies and Escorts

Listen ladies, I’ve been privileged enough to have been on private jets, exotic ‘vacations’, dined in x number of Michelin star dinners, worn the most beautiful dresses on the arm of SD’s, played that Pretty Woman scene when she goes shopping, etc….

I wish I had known the truth before joining, especially since I was so young.

Let me tell you this now: it’s not real. It’s not OUR reality. This is an example of a typical ‘upscale’ escort/sugar baby experience some will probably encounter at some point in their SW career.

Their reality: A sexy 18-29 year old in an even sexier dress hanging off of my arm. I can afford the caviar AND her. Every man in this bar is jealous, and trying to talk to her while I cop a feel of her ass. Another bottle of expensive champagne? Why not. She deserves to try the best. This is an incredible life.

Your reality: I’m in a foreign place where I don’t know anybody, wearing a dress that normally screams “rape bait” (at his request), with a man old enough to be my father, if not my grandfather. The host suspect I’m probably a “hooker” since I didn’t even know what the name of the reservation is under. This dress is making it difficult to breathe. Oh god, I need another drink of whatever it is in that bottle to get through another dinner where he’s trying to drunkenly fondle me under the table. I have to smile sweetly. Need to repeatedly remind myself to ignore the sneering glances from the waiters.

His reality later that night: I can’t wait to show her the top-floor suite of this place with the beautiful view. I even had my assistant go pick up some nice sets of lingerie from the store she mentioned she likes. I already made sure the rest of her envelope with her gift/donation is ready with her name on it. I’ll get the candles lit, have another bottle of wine sent up, and romantic music to top it all off. It’s gonna be a night of romance and passion with a beautiful girl. God, she’s gorgeous.

Your reality later that night: This view would be beautiful if it weren’t for the 50 year old behind me, nibbling his dry lips on my ear while I’m trying to enjoy the ambience. At least my rent money is in that envelope with a random name on it. He hands me a bag from Victoria Secret. I have to pretend to be super excited to get try on see-through lace for an old man now. He takes off his shirt, it’s just a forest of white hair and wrinkly skin. Next to the candle lighter, I see the magic blue pills. This is going to be a VERY long night.

Next day reality for him: I think I have enough time for room service before my flight. I’ll see if I can call the other SW from that other town to arrange another rendezvous for when I’m done with work. I should probably order two dozen roses, delivered to my wife so she knows I’m thinking of her. Note to self, call assistant to order roses and withdraw more cash. Oh wait, what’s that girl in my hotel room right now called? Ashley? Sarah? I’ll leave her a few hundred dollars as tip, save her number and I’ll call her again when I’m in town. I’m glad she really enjoyed the sex. She deserves it from all those times with unattractive and gross clients. At 54, I still got it.

Next day reality for you: Fuck, I have no idea how to get back to my own town without using all of the money he gave me for fare. My rent is due tomorrow, and tuition is due next month. I still have a client in 5 hours, my paper is due tomorrow but I haven’t even started. I have the worst hangover ever. At least I don’t remember much from last night, except his sandpaper tongue running all over my body. I shivered, but thankfully I fake moaned so it sounded like I was enjoying it.

Moral of this post: Don’t join the industry based on the glamorous lifestyle of the CLIENTS. Many of the blogs I see paint the image seen through HIS (the client) eyes, not YOURS (the service provider).

When your service is over, you turn back into a normal girl; back to grocery nights at Ralph’s, back to yelping the cheapest nail salon place, back to having fun with friends playing beer pong, back to being “Sarah or Ashley” because you have bills. Part of your service is renting you as a prop for their lifestyle. Never confuse that with YOUR lifestyle. ‘Vacationing’ in Cabo with him is NOT the same as doing so at your leisure with your friends.

If you still don’t quite understand what I’m saying, let me put it this way; bedazzled French pedicures are beautiful, right? You love being pampered in that massage chair, getting massaged, and ending up with a gorgeous pedicure. It’s stunning and glamorous experience, no?

Guess what. Not from the perspective of the pedicurist scrubbing your feet. There’s nothing glamorous about it for her because whereas she’s the service PROVIDER, YOU are the CLIENT. Same situation, very different experience.

This is something many of us learned the hard way. Yes, this lifestyle can come with many glamorous perks and experiences but there’s definitely a price to pay. Don’t be delusional. If this was all that easy, don’t you think every female on this planet would be in the industry?

After several years of experience I’ve learned to be immune to the ‘wrappings’ of the industry. You are here to make money. All those Roseshire roses, expensive dinners, fancy car rides, delicate lingerie are for HIS fantasy, and does very little for YOUR wallet. Don’t be blind sighted by the fancy tricks he pulls because it isn’t tangible. Never lose sight of your 'paycheck’. Once you see this lifestyle as what it truly is - a job; you become far less naive and more focused on your goals.

Always remember: There’s a price to pay for money.

Stay safe, ladies. 💸💸💸

  • 800 yr old entity after being called upon: so, you're the one who- shit, how much blood is that? how deeply did you cut yourself?
  • me: uh... pretty deep, i guess? the book said summoning you would require.. a significant amount of blood.. so..
  • entity: well, you could've gone a little smaller and shallower, couldn't you? and you were planning on, what, just.. bleeding freely during the entirety of our conversation? after slicing your hand open with a knife that's older than you are? how foolish can you be? christ. you need to clean and cover that. like, right now. here. let me see.
  • me: it's not THAT bad plus i disinfected the knife beforeha-
  • entity: no. be quiet. we'll talk afterwards. or even.. while i'm helping you with your mess. but it needs to be taken care of, right now, and i truly don't feel like going to a hospital at this hour. they smell.. odd. uncomfortable places. anyway. c'mon. lead me to the antiseptics and bandages.
  • me: fine. i guess. Whatever
  • entity: i can't believe this... i can't even enjoy the fruit you left for me yet because i have to take care of YOUR irresponsibility.. actually wait let me grab a grapefruit then we can go.. oh, wait, are those peaches? i haven't had one in DECADES.. the pits are so neat-looking, aren't they? i used to save them because they really are just so funny-
  • me: clears throat and holds up hand
  • entity: ah. yes. right. i apologize. grabbing the fruit. coming. following.. you leading

Anyways I just wanna bring up that they were talking about Cheryl and Liam on Graham Norton and Graham was saying that “we have a clip of the first time you met” which was Liam’s very first XFactor audition when he was FOURTEEN (and she was 24!!!) and Liam pretty much said “she doesn’t like talking about that” which means that she’s aware of how creepy it is and she doesn’t want people remembering that she had a whole adult/child relationship with Liam wherein she mentored him but knew he was a kid and she treated him as a kid. And to have a perception of someone like that for like eight or nine years, to still think of them as someone 10 years (!!!) younger than you and to have a ‘they’re a child’ mentality of them right until they become of age/legal, is pretty much the definition of predatory behavior to me. I don’t know how she can look at Liam and not see the 14-year-old she mentored when she was then pretty much how old he is now. Any memories they look back on from him on the XFactor early on can’t and shouldn’t be labeled as 'cute’ or 'romantic’ because Liam was a CHILD. And she knows this, since she doesn’t want people talking about them at that stage, but she still agreed to this relationship when she also knew it wasn’t okay. And that’s my issue with their relationship.

4

Black History Day 3: Cab Calloway.

Cab Calloway was groundbreaking as one of the first African-American musicians to be prominently featured on film. His work with the “Betty Boop” cartoons (as seen above) was legendary because it was basically the grandfather of what we know now as motion capture animation. They recorded Cab singing and dancing (dancing which included an early version of the moonwalk so take that Michael Jackson) and they TRACED HIS MOVEMENTS FRAME BY FRAME to translate them into the character he was playing. None of that unitard covered in ping-pong balls mess. Painstaking frame by frame tracing to capture his motions. You can watch full length versions of the Betty Boop cartoons featuring Cab Calloway pretty easily. I think they’re all on YouTube and they’re in the public domain so they’re easy to find and download. The names of the cartoon shorts are “Minnie the Moocher”, “Snow White ”, and “The Old Man of the Mountain”.
So go watch them now and appreciate a hard-working black musician who pioneered the jazz genre and was a key player in animation advancement.

Types as People I know IRL

ENFJ: Is one of the nicest person I know, seems to make friends every time she’s in a public place. Has a really hard time saying no to people asking favors to her. Cries a lot, especially when watching animal videos and TV competition shows auditions (golden buzzer moments especially).

ESFJ: Has a creepy way of knowing when you’re not feeling well. Always has comforting words of wisdom. Has very strong belief in their values. She’s the person I go to when I need honest opinion about a subject of just to get some infinite love. Cries a lot too, especially when with ENFJ.

ENFP: Is VERY emotional, can go from butterflies and rainbows to torture chambers and fire pits real fast. Amazing sense of fashion, goes through phases (only wears black, only wears pastel, only shops at thrift stores). Is never at the center of conflict and can always find a way to mend broken bonds. Very intelligent but can make some non-intelligent spontaneous decisions. Acts as though they don’t care what people think but they’re probably the most self-conscious people I know (except for maybe ISFP).

ESFP: Can’t stand doing nothing for more than 5 minutes, has more energy than a 3 year old. Is really fun to argue with but don’t kid yourself, you’ll never win the argument (or you’ll know you’re right but they’ll never acknowledge that). Likes the outdoors and wants to live on a farm later in life.

ENTJ: If incredibly smart but even more hard headed. Cares a lot about people but cares more about their success. Was in all the clubs at school and for good reasons, they’re extraordinary leaders. Has no patience for stupid people or bullshit.

ESTJ: Has a very dark sense of humor and I LOVE it. Has a very astonishing way of always getting what they want. Looks like an introvert until they are seen in a crowd. Would be the person I would want with me during an apocalypse.

ENTP: The comebacks that come out of their mouths are amazing. Could never be bored around them since they’ll find a dark and twisty subject to talk about. Will argue as much as ESFP but will usually be more right and sometimes even admit when they’re wrong. I’ve never seen someone party like an ENTP. Secretly hates people but can’t live without constant interaction with them.

ESTP: I don’t know any ESTPs, guys where are you?

INFJ: You can do nothing with this person, for like 4 hours and feel like you just had a super deep conversation, baked cookies and climbed Mount Everest. Doesn’t talk a lot but when he does it is always the truth. Nobody dislikes INFJ, how could you he’s like that one flower growing in a field of rocks.

ISFJ: Loves books, is afraid of doing extreme sports and things that could be dangerous. Has so much imagination and lives to help others. I have never seen them angry.

INFP: Takes everything so personally, I’m always afraid to say a joke around them. Doesn’t do much, binge watches a lot of Netflix shows and loves politics.

ISFP: They never tell you how they’re really feeling but it doesn’t matter, you can read them like a book. Are very self conscious and seek attention from people. They’re so generous and kind but it’s hard to give back to them. Loves classic rock and old video games, is addicted to sports.

INTJ: I WANT AN INTJ FRIEND SO BAD. I’m pretty sure my chemistry class teacher’s assistant was INTJ but didn’t have the nerve to ask him, he was very passionate about science, over population and the statistic of the online dating world.

ISTJ: Can’t find any of you guys either, sorry…

INTP: YOU GUYS ARE EVERYTHING. I only know one INTP. Right now he’s either on wikipedia, watching educational videos on Youtube or playing some indie video game. INTP looks very socially awkward but is one of the kindest soul I’ve ever met. Talks to me about subjects I know nothing about (politics, economics…) in a way that makes me interested. Plus their vibes are super sexy.

ISTP: Where is your secret hideout, where are you guys hiding?

Warning: These are based on people I know in my life and I don’t expect them to represent everyone who are those types. If you are ESTP, ISTJ or ISTP I’m sorry, from one MBTI addict to another you don’t know how badly I want to meet one of you guys.

*Sc rEA m s*

Just look how cute and smol this is aaAAAAAAHHHH-

2

My first Naruto fanart in ages. Last time was when I was like 14-15?? I can’t really remember ahahaha I actually started drawing manga bcs of Naruto (before I only drew horses lol). I’d like to show you some of my old Naruto art so you can compare my improvement ^w^

Whatever,  I’m glad I decided to continue watching the show after so many years and finally finish it. I LOVED IT, so now I’m pretty obsessed :’D (I’m really sorry for all the Naruto spam of these weeks, tho orz)

signs as sentences from a  bad phanfic

Aries:  What was Dan’s password again? Evanpeter? Nope. Danisonfire? No. Password123? It wasn’t it either. I mean Dan isn’t that stupid.

Libra: Still he liked his blog because it had been for quite a while, an important part of his life. It was almost a part of him.

Taurus:  “I’m always right” “Well you’re left-handed”

Scorpio:  "You’re homophobes? “ Dan asked a disbelieving and disgusted look on his face."Not really” The lady stuttered. “We’re just not comfortable spending with people who’ll go to hell"  "What the actual fuck? ” Dan mumbled.

Gemini: The fans had of course noticed it and fangirled. 

Sagittarius:  “Danny, the neighbors, what are they gonna think? ” Phil asked blushing.“Im pretty sure they’re gonna think we’re having sex ” Dan replied wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive way. 

Cancer: “Are you kidding me Dan? What will our audience think? They already assume were dating and now…" 

Capricorn:   "The video can wait but I can’t”. And that’s how Dan and Phil published their video 3 hours late.

Leo: “So, you’re going to be 30?”“Yeah, it’s crazy! I don’t feel… old”“Do I have to call you Mr. Lester, you old man? ”“Hey! ” Phil pulled an upset face before adding: “Respect your elders! " 

Aquarius: "DAn and pHIL OH my GOD! ” Dan quickly let go of Phil’s hand and turned around to see two girls coming their way. They were both wearing merch.

Virgo:  But before Phil could burn the surreal picture in his memory, Dan turned around and noticed Phil. He screamed in a high pitch voice and covered himself with his towel.

Pisces:  “The light and warmth you bring to our lives is as everlasting as the sun? Really Howell? That’s such a platonic friend tweet. Also the sun isn’t everlasting you stupid”

Is old Panic! getting together again?

This is a theory not actual facts just speculation do not get ur hopes up and do not attack them and ask questions because that is rude.

This is a theory I’ve been seeing on my dash, but let’s begin with it.

So Brendon is due for a new album since it’s been almost 2 years since DOAB and in March, 10 years since Pretty. Odd. (Last album old panic made together before split)

So, people think they are getting together again.

Why?

This tweet for one. If you didn’t know, ptsd means post traumatic stress disorder. So, you can conclude that this may mean that Jon is getting memories of patd, or a sign of something bigger..?

Okay next clue, Spencer Smith!

Okay, the panic! store is in his bio. Maybe he is just promoting his friend, or he’s apart of Panic! Once again. Who knows it’s a theory.

We also have Brendon, he was saying that his new album is “really weird”. I’m too lazy to link it, but Jon and Spencer did an interview long ago on the new album at the time, Pretty. Odd.

In the interview, Spencer and Jon were saying that the new album was “Pretty Odd” Maybe the new album will be called “Really Weird” a special tenth anniversary for Pretty. Odd.

Lastly, there have been photos of Ryan Ross around. He’s been working on some new music. In this photo:

Now you may think, it’s just a photo, but Ryan BARELY goes on social media. He posts this, which can lead speculation.

Also, Ryan changed his IG photo from this, the last thing from the Pretty. Odd. Era:

To this, a new photo from Halloween-ish of 2017:

I cried when this happened, it was truly the last thing of the Pretty. Odd era.

So this is all the proof for now. If anything comes out, I’ll add to this

@crankthatfrank @ryanrossmadepanichappen @testosteroneboysharlequingirls

I almost fucking forgot. They released old merch again! It was in September so idk if that means anything but hey, it was old merch from afycso and p.o. and every other era

Mister Hockey and the boy crying in the kitchen

(complete version)

Alternate Universe where Bitty is a figure skater at Samwell. He and Jack meet for the first time at #Epikegster 2014.

warning labels: Alcohol, mentioned homophobia, Parse. 


 Jack went down the stairs with a huff of annoyance. The first floor of the Haus was packed from wall to wall. Loup thumping music, laughter and yells that were barely tolerable from his room now seemed almost tangible, crushing him from all sides. He could already feel the beginnings of a headache.

 He pushed his way through and managed to reach the kitchen unscated. Only three guys were sitting at the table, loudly debating Plato’s cavern versus the Matrix, and another was leaning on the counter near the stove, muttering to himself.

Jack opened a cupboard, swore under his breath when he saw that it was empty of their usual mugs, glasses and bottles. He took a new red solo cup from the enormous pack available to all, and filled it with tap water, trying to ignore the guys at the table.

 ‘…aren’t you the most precious thing, baby…’

 Jack turned around. The guy next to the oven was muttering endearments with a southern drawl- but there was no one next to him. He wasn’t even holding a phone.

 Jack had a doubt. Was the guy talking to him?

 ‘Yes, you are lovely, a bit old, but I would love you, and take care of you, and create glorious things with you, oh sweetheart, if only…’

 The guy was not talking to Jack. He was talking to the oven.

 He was also, apparently, completely drunk.

 ‘… better things than pizza rolls, you can be sure of that, you sexy thing…’

 Jack was a moment away from heading back to his room when he heard a sob.

 ‘… but it’s not to be, pretty thing, you and I will have to go our own separate ways and- sniffle- get with our own lonely lives and - oh lord, I’m being ridiculous-’

 ‘Huh-’ started Jack. ‘Are you okay?’

 The guy turned around. He looked older than Jack expected. At least, he seemed to be over eighteen. Jack only had an impression of eyes and blond before he got the drunkest and fakest smile he ever saw in his life.

 ‘HI!’ said the boy. ‘Gosh, you’re big.’

‘… are you okay?’ repeated Jack.

 ‘Why, yes, of course! I’m peachy!’

 ‘You’re crying.’

 The guy seemed surprised by this fact. He dried his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie and made a dismissive gesture with his other hand.

 ‘Don’t mind me, sweetheart, I’m being silly.’

 ‘…You were crying,’ insisted Jack. ‘And talking to the oven.’

 ‘Well, no one else seemed to give her love, so I figured-’

 He stopped himself and looked at Jack.

 ‘You’re the Captain of the hockey team,’ he realised. ‘This is your house. This is your oven.’

 ‘…Yes? In a manner of speaking?’

 ‘What’s her name?’

 ‘Whose name?’

 ‘The OVEN,’ insisted the guy.

 ‘She- it doesn’t have a name?’

 ‘Blasphemy. If I had the chance to own such a lovely baby, I would name her something adorable! Like Daisy, or Betsy, and I would bake everyday, I would make pies and cookies and biscuits and-’

 He burst into tears.

 Jack threw a look around. The guys at the table were staring at them.

 ‘Dude, what’d you do to him?’

 ‘Nothing!’

 ‘D’you break up with him or something?’

 ‘No! We just met! He was talking about the oven- and then- and then-’

 He made a helpless motion towards the crying boy.

 ‘Maybe you should do something about it?’ suggested one of them.

 ‘Like what?’

 ‘Dunno. Something. To make him stop crying.’

 Jack hesitated. He thought about retreating to the safety of his room, where the music didn’t hurt his ears and blonde strangers didn’t burst into tears at the sight of a kitchen appliance.

 Awkwardly, he lifted a hand and patted the guy’s shoulder.

 ‘…there, there,’ he muttered, feeling like the most ridiculous man on Earth.

 He got several thumbs ups from the table residents. Which didn’t help his predicament at all. The boy was still crying.

 ‘Hey, hey, shh, don’t cry, everything is going to be okay…’

 ‘You don’t know that!’ wailed the blonde boy.

 ‘Okay, you’re right. Maybe, huh, what could make it right?’

 ‘I want to BAAAAAAAAAKE!’


(more under the cut!)

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Morty deserves more credit for being a bamf

-“I’m gonna do what the real rick would do if he were here, I’m gonna kick your ass”

-he literally takes over the tree people and has them at his command

-kicking the shit out of Mr. Jellybean

-convinces and leads all of the other
Mortys that they can take down any rick if they so choose

- he fucking buries himself and he’s 14 years old

- kills fart even though he cares about him, but he knows it’s what he has to do

- him in the entire episode of look who’s purging now 

-“ nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody’s gonna die, come watch tv”

-honestly his stamina when fucking that sex robot is pretty impressive

Idk there’s a lot more all I know is im high and wanted to express this, bottom line is morty always deserves better

Also do I need to bring up the facts again to ot8 stans that can’t get it through their minds that he’s not planning on leaving anytime soon?
1. First of all, he’s had so many offers from Chinese entertainment companies that want to sign him and even have tried to bribe him with 113 millon dollars? If he really wanted to leave don’t you think he would take one of those offers and thrive in china? But no, he choose to decline all offers and stick with sm.
2. Secondly, if he didn’t love exo as much as he did why would he risk his health flying back and forth constantly. He’s literally gotten 6 hours of sleep in the past 4 days and he’s been on a plane literally every single day. From Hong Kong to Changsha then to Shanghai and finally to Seoul?
3. He’s always thinking about exo in one way or the other.. whether it’s through phone calls or social media pictures. He’s never forgotten his roots and where he came from
4. He’s mentions exo all the time. (I.e: in the interview where the lady asked what would he do when he had one day off and he said visit his brothers in South Korea) and also in a couple go fighting episodes he mentioned exo. And he also mentioned exo in an interview he did a while ago when they asked what artists Yixing listens to and he literally said exo.

And lastly, he’s not putting his Chinese activities before group ones. SM needs Yixing to keep good Chinese relations so they can get more $$$$ especially right now where the political issues between S.Korea and China are still tense. Many Chinese people are aware of Yixing and are discovering EXOS music. For god sakes even my family in china even know of exo from Yixing and they’re all pretty old 😅. He has a huge impact on the Chinese public and he’s done nothing but good for exo ever since the 3 former Chinese memebers left.

Hey Voltage fans!

Remember that “something big” we mentioned? Well, it’s our new pay-to-play app, Love 365: Find Your Story!

We’re sure some super sleuth fans are already curiously eyeing the Japanese version, so we’re here to answer your burning questions about the English release and what it means for you and your beautiful ikemen!

Tap on “Keep reading” to find out more!!

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Mister Hockey and the boy crying in the kitchen


Here’s the first part of a fic- AU where Bitty and Jack meet for the first time at the EpicKegster. 

Note that the second part of this is not written yet, and I’m crushed under my to-do list, so don’t expect it soon and please don’t ask when the next part will come, I don’t know. But I wanted to share this with y’all, so I hope you enjoy. 

I apologise for errors, typos or weird sentence structure, all my editing power is and will be concentrated on my own novel, so ha. 

pairings and warnings: pretty much what you get from the canon





Jack went down the stairs with a huff of annoyance. The first floor of the Haus was packed from wall to wall. Loud thumping music, laughter and yells that were barely tolerable from his room now seemed almost tangible, crushing him from all sides. He could already feel the beginnings of a headache.

He pushed his way through and managed to reach the kitchen unscathed. Only three guys were sitting at the table, loudly debating Plato’s cavern versus the Matrix, and another was leaning on the counter near the stove, muttering to himself.

Jack opened a cupboard, swore under his breath when he saw that it was empty of their usual mugs, glasses and bottles. He took a new red solo cup from the enormous pack available to all, and filled it with tap water, trying to ignore the guys at the table.

‘…aren’t you the most precious thing, baby…’

Jack turned around. The guy next to the oven was muttering endearments with a southern drawl- but there was no one next to him. He wasn’t even holding his phone.

Jack had a doubt. Was the guy talking to him?

‘Yes, you are lovely, a bit old, but I would love you, and take care of you, and create glorious things with you, oh sweetheart, if only…’

The guy was not talking to Jack. He was talking to the oven.

He was also, apparently, completely drunk.

‘… better things than pizza rolls, you can be sure of that, you sexy thing…’

Jack was a moment away from heading back to his room when he heard a sob.

‘… but it’s not to be, pretty thing, you and I will have to go our own separate ways and- sniffle- get with our own lonely lives and - oh lord, I’m being ridiculous-’

‘Huh-’ started Jack. ‘Are you okay?’

The guy turned around. He looked older than Jack expected. At least, he seemed to be over eighteen. Jack only had an impression of eyes and blond before he got the drunkest and fakest smile he ever saw in his life.

‘HI!’ said the boy. ‘Gosh, you’re big.’

‘… are you okay?’ repeated Jack.

‘Why, yes, of course! I’m peachy!’

‘You’re crying.’

The guy seemed surprised by this fact. He dried his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie and made a dismissive gesture with his other hand.

‘Don’t mind me, sweetheart, I’m being silly.’

‘…You were crying,’ insisted Jack. ‘And talking to the oven.’

‘Well, no one else seemed to give her love, so I figured-’

He stopped himself and looked at Jack.

‘You’re the Captain of the hockey team,’ he realised. ‘This is your house. This is your oven.’

‘…Yes? In a manner of speaking?’

‘What’s her name?’

‘Whose name?’

‘The OVEN,’ insisted the guy.

‘She- it doesn’t have a name?’

‘Blasphemy. If I had the chance to own such a lovely baby, I would name her something adorable! Like Daisy, or Betsy, and I would bake everyday, I would make pies and cookies and biscuits and-’

He burst into tears.

Jack threw a look around. The guys at the table were staring at them.

‘Dude, what’d’you do to him?’

‘Nothing!’

‘D’you break up with him or something?’

‘No! We just met! He was talking about the oven- and then- and then-’

He made a helpless motion towards the crying boy.

‘Maybe you should do something about it?’ suggested one of them.

‘Like what?’

‘Dunno. Something. To make him stop crying.’

Jack hesitated. He thought about retreating to the safety of his room, where the music didn’t hurt his ears and blonde strangers didn’t burst into tears at the sight of a kitchen appliance.

Awkwardly, he lifted a hand and patted the guy’s shoulder.

‘…there, there,’ he muttered, feeling like the most ridiculous man on Earth.

He got several thumbs ups from the table residents. Which didn’t help his predicament at all. The boy was still crying.

‘Hey, hey, shh, don’t cry, everything is going to be okay…’

‘You don’t know that!’ wailed the blonde boy.

‘Okay, you’re right. Maybe, huh, what could make it right?’

‘I want to BAAAAAAAAAKE!’

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Meet Maido-kun, the gleeful one-eyed mascot of the now defunct anime magazine OUT (1977-1995).

Despite its title and Maido-kun’s trademark rainbow mohawk, OUT wasn’t an LGBT-specific publication. But in addition to pioneering alternative doujinshi fanzine culture, it did give us what I feel I can pretty confidently call the first lesbian wedding cover in anime history:

Dating Vernon would include

Request: A ‘dating vernon would include’! 💞

Originally posted by simplebit

- first of all, what a dork

- talks about memes all the time

- I mean, you are dating Memesol™

- loves to listen to the new Drake album with you

- it’s super cute because you sing all the girl parts and he takes over the rap

- it’s like you’re dynamic r&b duo number one

- ((sorry I’ve been listening to the new Drake album 24/7))

- acts all tough and masculine and cool, but you know the truth

- he is so shy n cute behind the scenes

- he still asks permission for everything

- “Hey Y/N can I kiss you?”

- “……..Hansol we’ve been dating for a whole year now I think you can kiss me whenever you want”

- “I just wanted to make sure because you just look really pretty right now and I don’t want t-”

- and you don’t wanna hear it so you just kiss him instead 

- literally the most random person you’ve ever met

- sometimes you’ll wake up and he’ll just be dancing around the room like a 40 year old white dude at a wedding reception

- with no music on

- and you’re just like

- “????????”

- but then you get up and join him because why not

- dates are usually at kid-oriented places because……. he’s a child

- so skee-ball dates are a must

- and carnivals

- and going to see kids movies

- but sometimes it’s just you and him chilling out at home

- he loves to just sit on a balcony with you and listen to chill hip hop and hold your hand as you dangle your legs off the edge

- and you both just kinda watch the city go by

- but he honestly can’t stop looking at you and how the light reflects off your face

- he’d never tell you (because he’s still so nervous around you) but you’re like art to him

- (OK NOW I’M SAD AND I WANT A VERNON IN MY LIFE)

- so mushy gushy with you because he knows you both hate it

- so you both basically try to out-disgust one another with cheesy stuff

- “Jagiiii~ I got you two dozen roses and the new Disney movie on DVD since you passed your exams!!”

- “Yeah, well I got us MATCHING COUPLE SWEATERS SO HAH”

- and you both are just like “this is so embarrassing”

- but then later on you’re cuddled up to one another in the sweaters watching the DVD with the roses in a vase on the coffee table

- no regrets

- you act more like best friends than anything else

- it took the rest of the group like 20 years to figure out you two were dating

- mostly because skinship is at a bare minimum in public

- and also you guys are ALWAYS play-fighting

- but then one day you are all over at the dorm

- and you’re bent over the kitchen counter typing an email to one of your professors/teachers/coworkers

- and Hansol walks by and just grabs a nice ol handful of booty

- because let’s be real here that boy praises the booty

- and Jeonghan sees and is like

- “HOW DARE YOU TOUCH Y/N LIKE THAT THAT IS NO WAY TO TREAT A WOMAN APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW”

- and at that everyone comes running into the kitchen to see what’s going on

- and you and him, being the laziest couple ever, kiss in front of everyone instead of explaining the situation

- and everyone goes BALLISTIC

- except for Junhui

- he just high-fives Hansol and is like

- “Niiiiice”

- to conclude: Hansol would be such a fun-loving bf and it feels like you’ve been best friends your whole lives when you’re around one another

- but he’s also completely enamored by you and it drives him crazy but he loves you for it