can i be as pretty as my room

anonymous asked:

So I saw this Japanese poll online and fans were asked to vote for the Japanese male celebrity with the best skin. Turns out Yuzuru Hanyu won the poll and now I have this ridiculous headcanon that Yuuri has beautiful flawless skin. And actually, I'm pretty sure he does. East Asians are very particular about skin care, I mean, look at the super popular Korean skincare routine.

OMG I’m not surprised that Yuzuru Hanyu won! His skin is perfect and flawless! I can totally see Yuuri having beautiful skin as well, and Victor getting a little jealous over it. 

“Yuuri, how do you get your skin to be so perfect?”

“I, uh, wash my face?”

“Yes, but with what?”

“Just typical soap and water. Why?”

*Victor, throwing thousands of dollars of skincare across the room* “are yOU KIDDING ME??”

PTA Moms
  • Jeonghan: So Suho how are your kids?
  • Suho: HALF WON'T EVEN LISTEN TO ME TWO OF THEM WON'T CONTACT ME AND KRIS JUST LEFT ME TO DEAL WITH THEM YIXING IS THE ONLY ONE THAT LISTENS TO ME AND HES NOT EVEN HERE TODAY
  • Onew: Sometimes you just gotta let them be *sips wine out of a mug*
  • Kihyun: Well at least my kids are only weird
  • Jinyoung: someone needs to come get my kids. Mark is the only normal one and even then I'm pretty sure Jackson is starting to leave an impression on him, Yugyeom just released a song on SoundCloud about having a side piece, Jackson is Jackson you can't do anything about him, Youngjae has consistently locked himself in his room with Coco, BamBam is BamBam you can't help him either
  • Kihyun: HA YOU HAVE HELPLESS KIDS
  • Key: *yells from the other room* KIHYUN YOU CANT TALK ABOUT ANYONE ELSE ALL YOUR KIDS DO IS SLEEP ALL DAY AND DONT DO SHIT FOR THEMSELVES
  • Jeonghan: Just be lucky y'all don't have 12 kids
  • Onew: I thought you only had 11 kids
  • Jeonghan: Oh Seungcheol is a child himself. The worst child of them all.
  • Jeonghan: But anyways... Jin how are your kids?
  • Jin: Oh they're fine Jimin made some brownies the other day, Jungkook is currently going through his emo phase, Yoongi is doing what he likes which consists of music, Hobi is being the ray of sunshine he is, and Tae is in theater so he's been practicing for an upcoming play.

anonymous asked:

So I'm pretty sure I'm hyperempathetic because I keep finding baby dolls around the house (I'm 14, they're from my childhood) and every time I find one I have to pick it up (carefully, because you've gotta support its head) and take it to my room. I have four now, and before I go to sleep I have to make sure they're all in doll cribs or at least safe places. I basically treat them like actual babies and get worried about leaving them unattended... I know it's irrational but I can't stop myself

THE SIGNS AS SHIT MY FRIEND HAS TOLD ME

Aries: He looks like he’s gonna murder me in my sleep 

Taurus: Stick the tip of a toothpick into his dickhole

Gemini: Mars in 3rd is wild I’m offending everyone and I can’t stop

Cancer: For fucks sake why isn’t there more toilet paper on the damn roll 

Leo: Hello 911 yes this is an emergency my ex is trying to talk to me

Virgo: What is this getting dark at 5:30 bullshit 

Libra: I love cleaning my room bc I always find 10,000 Bobby pins

Scorpio: I’m being all gross and clingy and lovey dovey how do I stop

Sagittarius: terfs are bad

Capricorn: They’re such pretty fish but they pooped so much…and then they had babies and I watched them all die painfully one by one

Aquarius: I wish my poop looked like that

Pisces: Emo anarchists whining about Oppressions they face

@astroscendant // @honeysuckel told u i’d do it

I have this headcanon that, like almost all little kids on this planet, Percy wanted a pet when he was little - he still does *coughs*. But he didn’t want a cat or a dog or something normal like that. Percy’s always been weird.

“Mom can you buy me a hammerhead?”

Or something like:

“Do you think an acquarium for a dozen of eels would fit in my room?” (Sally goes like “We live in the Upper East Side, Percy, what do you think?”)

Then, he’s at Camp Half-Blood a few years later and the situation gets pretty worse.

“Hey, um, Chiron. Tiny favour. What about we build some underwater stable for hippocampuses, do you think it’d cost that much?”

Then he’s married.

“Hey Annabeth-”

“NO, PERCY. NO. I DON’T WANT A SHARK.”

“Uh okay just don’t get mad. Just asking.”

Their 8 year old son gifts him a jellyfish for his birthday and Percy cries

Being A Gryffindor Would Include...

Slytherin | Ravenclaw | Hufflepuff

* * *

  • Getting weirdly happy every time you walk into the common room because its so damn cosy
  • Snuggling up next to the fire with a book and not even caring how cliche it is
  • Going absolutely insane every time a quidditch game comes around
  • Not even because you love quidditch but just because it’s kind of a gryffindor tradition
  • after-quidditch parties even when you lose 
  • raising your butterbeer “TO LOSING”
  • Loving the view from your dorm room
  • “look how pretty the forest it!” 
  • “Yeah we know you show us literally every single day”
  • Being best friends with literally every gyff in your year
  • “Who’s your best friend?”
  • “Who isn’t my best friend?”
  • Practically dying every time you have to walk all the way to the gryffindor tower
  • “Can you carry me”
  • “no”
  • “Please I’m dying”
  • Becoming best friends with McGonogall because she’s awesome
  • Her trying not to smile every time you turn up at her office for tea although you can see her eyes twinkling 
  • Being by far the loudest table in the great hall
  • Gryffindor PRIDE 
Do we turn you on? (Muke threesome)

Summary: Your best friends pick up on the fact that the both of them make you insanely horny (i can’t do summaries okay i suck)

Word count: 3k

Warnings: This is smut! Luke assumes ‘dom’ position and they all have a threesome ;) 

There’s a little bit of NSFW above the ‘keep reading’ line!

A/N: I’m such a slut for muke I’m surprised this is my first threesome with them? Let’s just say I let my imagination run pretty wild haha :) enjooooy!

Originally posted by ariana527

Michael’s warm fingertips trail across your upper arm, the heat causing goosebumps to pebble across your sensitive skin. As you’re sitting so close to the boy, you can smell the deep musky scent of his aftershave and feel a tug of desire to lean across and smash your lips against his.

You would if you weren’t in a room with your other best friend.

Luke’s leaning against a white wall, his blond hair tousled into loose curls. You take a moment to admire his wide stance before your attention drifts to his fingers curled around his phone. So many night you’ve spent - in the crowd at one of their shows - watching his fingers work magic on his guitar.

You’ve always wondered what they’d feel like inside you.

You imagine they’d be nimble: Luke always brags about his ability to twirl his fingers at perfect angles. But at the same time, there’s no doubt in your mind that he’d move quickly, immediately establishing his dominance before proceeding to bend you over a table.

“Did you just moan?”

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#40- Loud sex/Knowing someone can hear (Cas x Dean x Sam, Wincestiel)

Requested by @castiels-fallen-angel for my kink list (master list here).

Word Count: 1450ish

Warning: anal sex, threesome, smut, some dirty talk, slight voyeurism

A/N: While this is a request from my kink list, it is also a middle finger to the ship hate I’ve seen lately. Feedback appreciated! XOXO


They’re in a motel the first time Sam hears them have sex, in the room next door. He’s been wondering for a while if Dean and Cas are fucking, and those low moans pretty much tell him that not only are they fucking, they’ve been fucking long enough to learn how to have a really good time.

Keep reading

“My life was awful. When I was a kid, I was fat, pretty ugly and had awful hair. I used to get teased every fucking day, slammed up against lockers, punched in the face - you name it. Hell, I had to go to prom with one of my female friends because I couldn’t even get a proper date. I can’t even look back at those photos because I look so bad. I transferred schools, but the teasing just got worse. After an, let’s say, ‘incident’ I had with the school play the bullying just got worse. But I made it through high school, only to find out that real life was pretty much the same. I just stayed in my dark room all day and didn’t talk to anyone. I didn’t go outside. I just stayed inside and drew. I’d draw vampires, mummies, heroes, villains. Anything to help me escape all the bad in the world. I went to art school and didn’t really belong. All I could draw was comic book characters. I tried to put my only good talent to use by drawing a cartoon and pitching it - only to have it turned down. Life to me was just pointless. I started drinking, doing drugs and just generally wasting my life drawing.
Then one day, I saw bodies falling from the sky. I witnessed people dying. And that’s when I decided to turn my life around. I called up anyone I knew who had an instrument and we formed a band. Being on tour for the first few years was bad. All we’d do is get drunk and do drugs, but I loved it. Because I was doing something I loved with people I loved. And a few years ago I met the most perfect woman ever. It’s like we share a wave-link or something. She just knows me without even knowing me, if you understand. And now, 2011, I have a beautiful baby girl, a caring wife and I get to perform for my adoring fans everyday. I am living proof that no matter how bad it gets, it gets better. I am Gerard Way, and I survived.”

Rhys and His Daughter Continued (with some Cassianisms)
  • *Cassian walks by his niece's room
  • Cassian: Nice eyeliner, Rhys
  • Rhys: I was told I look pretty *looks at daughter smiling
  • Cassian: Nuh uh if you're pretty then I'm pretty too
  • Daughter: Can I paint your wings pink Uncle Cassian?
  • Cassian: Will this impress Aunt Nesta?
  • Daughter: Yeah and if you do smart stuff
  • Cassian: I do smart stuff!
  • Daughter: That's not what Aunty Nesta says. She says you fell down the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
  • *Cassian points a look at Rhys who shrugs
  • Rhys: What can I say- my kid's smart
i flirt in #mycalvins

Note: Dedicated to my fellow hoes in @bangtan-bookclub. I love you ALL. This isn’t full smut, but it’s pretty explicit (which is why I tagged it the way I did). 

Summary: UnderwearModel!Hoseok

*

*

*

“You owe me cookies,” your friend reminds you, nudging your shoulder with a cheshire cat grin. “And you can bake them on his abs. God he’s so hot.” 

Jung Hoseok stands across the room bathed in warm lighting as he poses for the photographer. He’s nearly naked save for the small, tight scrap of cloth covering his essentials. Boxer Briefs. 

You shudder as you pretend to work while sliding Hoseok discreet looks. The boxer briefs he’s wearing is a reminder that (A) you lost the bet by thinking he wore regular briefs, and (B) you needed to get laid ASAP if you were this close to losing your cool over a random underwear model. 

Keep reading

  • {Mina's phone starts ringing}
  • Mina: [Picking up the phone] Momo?
  • Momo: Hey, I really miss you.
  • Mina: Momo-
  • Momo: I don't know if I've told you this, but you have really pretty eyes. The prettiest softest eyes in the whole world.
  • Mina: [Blushing] Momo...
  • Momo: I wish I were next to you so I could wrap my arms around you.
  • Mina: Momo, you're literally sitting five feet away from me on the other side of the room.
  • Momo: I know, that was me trying to subtly tell you to come and sit next to me so we can cuddle.
Only for tonight.- CH

A/N: Smut. Read at own risk. 

The tension was too much, your breath hitched in your throat as he made his way towards you. Weaving his way in and around the others in the room with just one thing on his mind. You. It was hard to think of a time when the sight of Calum Hood didn’t make your insides turn to mush and your brain lose the ability to form a coherent thought. This was your new normal.

His eyes glance to the floor as he stops in front of you and takes your hand in his and leans in to speak.

“Been waiting all night to get you, Pretty girl. I thought I said no teasing.” His voice is heavy down the back of your neck and your body curls in anticipation.

A lover on the left. A sinner on the right.

“I just have to feel you with my hands, I have to get my lips all over your body. I can’t be in the same room as you and do nothing.” His hands have gripped your hips and are snaking down to grab you. You know it’s not right, you are letting yourself be led into the lion’s den once again and this time you are more than happy to sacrifice yourself.

Only for tonight.

That is all it has ever been and is all it ever will be. A fleeting moment of weakness filled with lust and sometimes a hint of regret. Every single time. Every single time you feel yourself drifting away from his grasp his brown eyes meet yours from across the room and you are pulled back to shore once again. No matter how hard you try you can’t his escape his hold on you.

Before you know it he has you pinned against the bathroom wall in the club, your legs wrapped around his waist as he starts to kiss your neck, grinding his hips into yours making you shudder. You know you should stop before it goes any further.

Keep reading

If You Want Me To

Requested by @workingonmynightmoves : A Sam x reader. Sam finds out the reader has never been eaten out before, then shows her how good it can be.

Word Count: 2350

Warning: Oral sex, all the dirty talk, smug Sam

A/N: Thanks for this request, babe! Hope everyone enjoys it!

Keep reading

“The author of the journals… my brother.”

Kinda late to the anniversary but better late than never. Can’t believe it’s been 2 years already.

2

“…Sometimes we like to look the other way, you can easily become unsure in thinking it is me (who is going to be bullied) next time. But we must interfere and the more we do, the easier it will be when we stand together and remember each other. We must be good friends so that there is room for everyone in the class.”

Crown Princess Mary has participated in the introduction part of the Mary Fonden and DR Ultra’s video “Courage”. The video aims to promote the idea that “everyone has the right to belong”, by encouraging classmates to speak up for one another when one sees another being bullied. The video highlights the important message that, “It takes courage to be a good friend. If we are many who are brave, there will not be room for bullying. Show courage.” 

You can view the video Courage here (in Danish) and here (in English).

The Room (2003) is like. the ultimate cryptid. the whole time you’re watching it you can’t figure out WHAT you’re watching. a porno?? a class project?? satire??? & i think the best way to describe what watching it feels like … is … idk. like peering into a forbidden tome from another plane and seeing words in front of your face that look like a language you can speak, but being completely unable to comprehend them. i’m PRETTY SURE i watched the movie with my friend last weekend but.. fuck. both of us still aren’t 100% sure it happened or if we both just fell asleep and had the same nightmare. It Is Cursed.

I’ll Be Good - Part 3

Masterlist  -  Series Masterlist  -  Part 2  -  Part 4

Summary: Series – You’re an old colleague of Natasha’s who finds herself face to face with the Winter Solder on the wrong end of an Avengers’ op. Chapter – Still captive in Avengers interrogation, you finally get your chance to negotiate, but really with you, it’s more like manipulate.

Warnings: swearing, still captivity, really this one’s pretty tame.

Word Count: 2057

Author’s Note: This one was a lot of fun to write! What can I say, I love the mind games. As always feedback is welcome! I LOOOVE hearing from you all. I’m genuinely addicted to writing this stuff right now. I have abandoned all other hobbies entirely. My book group has forgotten about me, I haven’t touched a piano in weeks, I haven’t taken my dog anywhere fun in days and he threw coconut shavings all over my living room floor in protest. That is how much I love you.  So enjoy while I go get the vacuum! Am I the only dog person on tumblr?


Damn. This is disorienting. I’ve played this all wrong. You thought seeing the mistrust and anger play across Steve Rogers’ face as his best friend pulled away from you. Others saw Bucky Barnes as Captain America’s greatest weakness but you knew better. Steve watched Bucky like a hawk, and all of the hero’s self-righteous inhibitions fell away when it came to his best friend. That made him all the more dangerous. And he had just caught you red handed trying to manipulate Bucky.

Shit. Your damsel in distress routine would come across thin and reaching now. New tactic, you thought shifting quickly back into the careful predator. Captain Rogers had entered glaring at you, immediately paused, and turning pointedly, gave his best friend a harsh look. A warning. You could swear you saw Bucky return it with equal ferocity before he looked at you with a gentler expression, and slipped out.

Alright, you want the villain, Captain, I’ll give it to you. I’ll let you have every dark thread you can get your hands on. Your best hope now was that honesty would catch him off guard. Your options were severely limited when Nat had followed him in, you knew she would see through anything less than the truth. You didn’t think she would truly give you up to these strangers but then again they weren’t strangers to her. She had exposed so many of her secrets after the events in D.C. at this man’s command, you just couldn’t be sure. It had been unnerving to see her exposed like that. And here you were tied to a chair, watching her sharp green eyes watching you over an interrogation table. This was why you preferred anonymity when you worked. Natasha was a dangerous friend to have but an absolutely lethal enemy. You knew you had to take control fast.

Keep reading

•Purifying Spray•
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While I do call this a purifying spray, that’s not the only use for it. This spray can help for cleansing rooms, protection, comfort/calming, and many other things (including smelling really nice!). I actually made this for my hamster to cleanse the outside of his space of any negativity.
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What you’ll need:
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•Hot water (preferably boiling but tea temperature works good)
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•Sage leaves or stems
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•Lavender flowers or essential oil
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•Rose petals (pretty optional)
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•vodka (optional, pretty much just if it’s going to sit for a while)
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•mint/peppermint (optional, i haven’t tested this yet but it would give a fresh and clean feel)
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{flowers and sage can be substituted with essential oil or whatever you see fit}
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To start out, put everything but the vodka in the hot water and stir occasionally for about 15 minutes (keep covered when not stirring).
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Once your water has absorbed the colors and smells of your herbs, uncover and let cool.
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Pour the mixture, plants and all if desired, into a bottle and shake vigorously. Add vodka and shake more.
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Pour mixture into spray bottle and do your witchy thing!
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{{don’t use inside of pet enclosures, on pets, or on anything that seems unsafe to spray with scented alcohol water. If you do and something goes wrong, it’s not my fault}}

[also i believe this is safe to drink if you want but don’t just take my word for it]