Okay, but now I want a modern au where a teenage Stannis and an early twenties Robert raising lil baby Renly…a crackish, sitcom-y, Baratheon Bros hijinks and weirdness fic.
Give me coupon-hoarder!Stannis and fratboy!Robert with little Renly learning the wrong lessons from each of his brothers. ( “You can’t talk to people like that; just because Stannis doesn’t have a personality doesn’t mean you don’t” “Renly, you have to wear clothes even if Robert doesn’t”).
Give me Stannis who goes to all the Parent-Teacher conferences and Robert who becomes the Sports Parent for Renly’s little league games.
Give me Robert trying to teach Renly math and once he leaves Stannis coming in and saying “Forget everything that idiot said for the past twenty minutes, this is how you really do it.”
Give me Godfather Eddard Stark ( “Renly already has a godfather, Robert. You can’t make Stark his godfather just because he’s your best friend.” “You know what, Stannis, shut the fuck up. Renly, meet godfather Neddy”) Give me godfather Eddard Stark who really doesn’t want to be involved in any of this nonsense but knows letting Stannis and Robert go at it alone will just be more damaging to the child.
Give me friendly neighbor!Davos who helps out the Baratheons when they are in a pinch for money or bakes cookies for Renly on weekends and Stannis knowing there is something weird about how a twenty year old can afford all this extra spending…
Give me Robert taking on a political career just to get back at that ass-face Targaryen and give me Robert using Renly for political gain, taking him to events and showing off his family side with Renly ( “Not you, Stannis, you don’t look right in photos” “It’s cuz he doesn’t smileeee!”)
Give me mother figure Stannis and father figure Robert just trying to get by while taking care of a six year old. That’s all I want.
Give me stupid Baratheon Bros love without one of them dying.
Rosa stood on the deck of the Plasma Frigate, eyes trained on the blonde a few meters away. She shivered slightly, wishing she had brought a sweater with her, though she wouldn’t have had time. Her scientist was leaving the region.
Colress leaned against the railing, looking out at the sea. The man sighed inwardly, knowing she’d be against the idea. Without looking towards the trainer, he motions for her to come over to him, then taps the railing. Hoping she’ll join him.
Huffing, the Unova Champion slowly walks over, rubbing her arms in an attempt to warm herself. Colress notices this and offers her the warmth of him (and his coat) almost immediately, though he gets no answer. At least, not the one he’s expecting.
“How long were you planning this?”
Rosa’s voice is devoid of emotion.
“Planning on leaving me without telling me. Planning on leaving just to do some stupid research?!”
That caught his attention. Colress whipped around at the sudden outburst, both shocked and a bit offended.
“..‘Stupid research?’ Rosa, I’ve spent enough time in Unova and you know it. I have studied all I can here, can’t you see how much of a big deal this is for me?! A new region means new Pokémon, new climates, and hell, even new business opportunities. Why don’t we just put our personal feelings aside and talk about it like adu–”
The scientist stopped mid-rant, taking a step back. Rosa’s face had crumpled up, and her shoulders shook with the occasional sob. The champion turned away from Colress, deciding to sit down with her face hidden in her arms.
Colress’ face fell as he turned away, sighing. He slowly walked towards his champion and lowered himself down, sitting beside her. The woman didn’t look up, even when the researcher put his hand on her shoulder.
“Rosa, I’m sorry. My flight leaves at 7am sharp tomorrow. This is a big thing for me. Actually, we could register each other’s numbers in our personal phones, if that might help..”
“Can I stay the night here? Just one last time.”
Rosa must’ve seen the look on his face, and she giggled through her tears. She reached over, looping her arm through his and leaned against him affectionately.
“Don’t get the wrong idea, you dolt. I just.. I need you. Please?”
Colress sighs, nodding as he helps her to her feet.
“Alright. I’ll try to come back and visit, don’t you worry, Rosa dear.”
Ok I know that objectively speaking one direction has bad songs, even fucking terrible songs but listen to me… one direction has never had a bad song in their whole career… they produced bop after bop after bop