campus cop

College Confession #85

There are a lot of rock climbers who go to my college so climbing campus buildings and hanging out on roofs is pretty common. Well one night a kid made a plan to step it up a notch and haul a keg to the roof of the performing arts building. It’s a real modern looking building with this big pride rock looking thing jutting out from the edge of the roof, a perfect place from which to haul a keg up three stories. Amazingly, they were able to haul the keg up to the roof in no time flat. Well the party gets going and there are like 20 people up on this roof revelling in the success of their keg haul. 

The kid who’s whole idea this was, decides this is not enough. So he walks out hangs a rope from a point and decides to bungee jump off the building. He then ties into this rope with his harness and proceeds to jump off the building, falling in a graceful arching swing. But just as he does so, campus safety comes rolling around the corner. Imagine there surprise to see a student jumping off a three story building. Well the kid notices them, lowers himself to the ground and just takes off. Now the rest of the party is stranded on the roof, drunk, with a keg, and a lot of explaining to do. Or at least they would have been stranded had they not all been climbers. The ropes come out and the harnesses get donned as teams of two start rappelling off the roof of this building as it’s being surrounded by the cops. The cops were seriously unprepared for this and as they scrambled to locate the rappel point more ropes were tossed down and more students rappelled and escaped into the night. Finally, the cops made it through the building and on to the roof to find one poor remaining sole, one fairly empty keg, and the rope still dangling from pride rock.

Tl;Dr A bunch of rock climbers at my school hauled a keg to the roof of a building and had a party. One kid set up a rope swing and jumped off the roof alerting campus safety and the cops, but luckily everyone was prepared and rappelled off the roof, away from the cops, and into the night.

-University of Colorado 

Fuck 4/20

****Obligatory Discourse Notice: This post is not about people who use weed for medicinal purposes y’all are beautiful and in my experience, courteous people and I hope you feel better soon****

**This is also not about people who consume recreationally in the privacy of their homes, y’all are cool too**

Ok, so, it’s 4/20, and I can’t fucking go to school because SOME ASSHOLES HOT-BOXED THE MAIN STUDIO ROOM IN THE ART BUILDING.

This is not a small room, it’s three classrooms combined into one large, naturally well-lit room, so god knows how much weed they actually had to burn to fill it like that, but it was definitely more than CO possession law allows for.  and at 8 AM this morning, I opened the fucking door to a literal CLOUD of smoke, while at least three dudes ran out the back door.

I’m not sure if it’s an allergy or sensitivity or what, but even hints of Marijuana smoke give me massively painful migraines, so I had to be driven home, and I’ve spent the last five hours on the couch crying and puking and having hallucinations becuase I was in that much pain. Fuck you guys I haven’t been suicidal in years but today was not a good day.

OH, and the department head was right behind me, and she has severe asthma and i just learned she’s in the hospital.

and the campus has closed the art building until further notice/they can clean the place out.  it’s the week before finals.  Nobody is going to be able to finish/turn in their final projects. and even if they manage to air out the building, nobody with an allergy/sensitivity is gonna be able to go in becuase that shit sticks around.  or anyone with asthma or epilepsy or anybody on other psychoactive drugs.

So, yeah, fuck you guys, you’ve ruined the whole fucking semester.

and the thing that really, really pisses me off about this?  Cannabis DOES potentially have some major health/environmental benefits, and widespread decriminalization would be a great thing for a lot of america’s poorer communities, BUT NOOOOOOO, YOU DICKHOLES GOTTA SMOKE IN PUBLIC WHERE IT’S A HEALTH HAZARD AND BE A BUNCH OF IRRESPONSIBLE FUCKHEADS, NEVER MIND THAT GETTING IT OFF SCHEDULE ONE IS GONNA TAKE A COOPERATIVE POLITICAL MOVEMENT LOL 420 BLAZE IT HAHAHAHAHA FUCK ALL OF YOU WITH A RUSTY CHAINSAW.

YOU, fuckass stoner, are the person making it hard to get the actual drug-testing done for the people who need this
YOU are being massively disrespectful and an outright danger to your fellow citizens and 
YOU are gonna get kicked right in the dick if i ever figure out who you are.

Actually, there’s security cams, and when you are ID’d I’m suing your ass for damages because going to the hospital was not fun and expensive.  

*I’ve been seen by a medical professional, they’re not sure what it is, and i have a history of unexpected reactions to drugs, so the can’t give me anything for it.

** I’ve taken a shower and am chugging all the fluids I can to get this to pass, and it is.  my pain is at about 6/10, not 11 now.

*** This is ALSO about the people in the quad lighting up in public, the people who brought the bong into the student union (campus cops got them at least), and anyone who DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF SECOND-HAND SMOKE CHRIST ON POGO STICK YOU SHITHEADS ARE DUMB.

***8ALSO: dear creepy old men who were stoners back in the 60′s who show up on campus to on women young enough to be your granddaughters: FUCK YOU TOO

In conclusion: Fuck 4/20, fuck public stoner culture, fuck white boys who think this shit is funny, fuck the Marijuana industry that pushes this kind of irresponsible consumption, and fuck everything I have to go throw up again.

Grassroots campaign shuts down far right art gallery!

The Shut Down LD50 campaign can happily disclose that the landlord of the LD50 Gallery has asked the tenants, Lucia Diego and Alexander Moss, to vacate the premises. The gallery sign has been taken down from the building at 2–4 Tottenham Road, Dalston, London, and there is no indication that any future events will be taking place in the space. As of April there will no longer be a racist cultural centre operating in Hackney.

Shutting down the gallery is the result of sustained campaign work by many political and community groups, Hackney residents, cultural workers and journalists. We thank everyone involved for their dedication. At the same time we have to recognise that this is only a first step. More needs to be done both to prevent LD50 and its organisers from restarting their project elsewhere, and more generally to ensure that our communities and cultural institutions are kept free of the influence of the far right.

We urge people inside and outside of the art world to refuse to work with Lucia Diego and Alexander Moss. They have actively supported the development of a fascist culture in London. The speakers they hosted often promote mass violence against oppressed peoples and political opponents. The LD50 representatives have done next to nothing to disassociate themselves from such views. There is every reason to believe that they will attempt to resume their public promotion of racist ideas if given the opportunity. Not giving fascism a platform or a voice is an effective non-violent means of stopping them.

It is also important to learn lessons from our activity up until now. As a loose affiliation of friends and associates the Shut Down LD50 Campaign worked collectively alongside established community groups. We have worked mostly anonymously in order to protect ourselves. This was especially necessary after Lucia Diego published the personal details of opponents for potential use by the online far- and alt-right (including open advocates of political murder). When we oppose fascists we need to protect ourselves from their tactics of intimidation.

We must continue to think about how to oppose racism and fascism more broadly. Whilst some of the events at LD50 were openly fascist, it is clear that the space also took inspiration from the more everyday forms of political authoritarianism that have proliferated during the last few years, including Trump. Shutting down fascists in the long term requires that we transform the culture in which they can begin to gain popular and institutional support (and the art world is not the neutral space it often believes itself to be). We need to be able to ask larger questions, such as how to oppose Britain’s own violent border regime.

One way is by working in and alongside the many groups who helped to support our campaign. All of these different organisations are doing exceptional work in the fight against racism, fascism and oppression. Their struggles are becoming increasingly necessary, and we encourage you to get involved with them. To that end, we include a list of groups who have supported us below.

Shut Down LD50

56a Infoshop, Anti-University, Artists For Palestine UK, Arts Against Cuts, Autonomous Centre Edinburgh, BARAC / Black Activists Rising Against Cuts, Base, BDZ Group / Boycott Zabludowicz, Black Lives Matter UK, Boycott Workfare, Cleaners and Allied International Workers Union, Cops Off Campus, Digs / Hackney Private Renters, Disabled People Against the Cuts, DIY Space for London, Goldsmiths UCU (University and College Union), Independent Workers Union of Great Britain,  Jewish Socialists’ Group, Lesbians and Gays Support the Migrants, London Anti-Fascists, MayDay Rooms Staff Collective, Movement for Justice, Mute Magazine, Novara Media, PCS Union Culture Sector Group, Plan C London, Radical Housing Network, Roots Culture Identity Art Collective, Scottish Radical Library, Sisters Uncut North London, South London Solidarity Federation.

vampire!hoshi soonhoon au

- when jihoon first steps into his dorm room, a freshman at his university, the whole room is dark
- like, pitch black dark.
- the curtains are drawn, the lights are off, and it looks like no one is in
- he flicks the lightswitch andBAM theres a boy lying down on one of the beds, head buried in the pillow
- is he dead
- “uh, are you ok?”
- the boy immediately sits up and… is he glaring at jihoon???
- “i knew it was too good to be true. i swear, i requested to be in a single room.”
- wow,,,, what an ass
- “you don’t need to be so obvious about your distaste over me being here. i’m your roommate now, so can we just get along?”
- the boy just goes back to lying down and ignores him, and jihoon immediately knows this is going to be hell.
- over the next few days, jihoon starts to settle in
- makes new friends and actually has had his first lecture (it was good, his professor for music production is nice and actually teaches)
- just… the only problem is soonyoung is still a very cold asshole to him
- and it’s super unpleasant to go back to your room and feel like your roommate is glaring holes into your back
- so basically he spends as much time as he can in other people’s rooms and only returns to sleep
- the first time they actually properly interact is at this party thrown for all the freshmen
kind of like a big “congrats! this is your last chance of freedom before the school year goes into full swing!”
- originally jihoon didn’t want to go, but got convinced to in the end
- two hours in, all his friends have abandoned him to go drinking or hooking up or whatever and he’s a little bit tipsy and very very bored
- he’s about to leave when he sees his roommate - is his name soonyoung? - drunk out of his mind
- and of course, he has half a mind to leave soonyoung here to rot since he’s such an asshole, but looking at him… yeah he’d probably destroy himself better not
- at first it was just soonyoung leaning against jihoon as he tries to drag him back, then he gives up because this boy is such a burden when drunk, it is literally easier to piggyback him back
- which he does btw
- soonyoung wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache, cursing whoever said vampires can’t get drunk
- and on his desk is a fresh glass of water and painkillers
- he downs them immediately, and then just sits there, trying to remember everything that happened last night
- his roommate… right! jihoon brought him back, and was probably the one who left the painkillers for him
- which makes soonyoung feel really bad, considering that he was an asshole to jihoon and yet he still helped him
- even though it’s something really small, it kind of gets soonyoung thinking, because jihoon’s really done nothing to warrant such treatment at all
- he can’t keep pushing everyone in life away,,,
- when jihoon gets back from lesson, soonyoung thanks him and that throws jihoon into some hyper-alert mode with him being a wary mumbling mess
- he’s asking?? about my day???? and now we’re comparing schedules????? he wants to have a study session with me?????????? uh… ok?
- jihoon immediately leaves the room after that, and soonyoung plants his face in his pillow, knowing that he probably came off too strong and scared him off again
- but true to his word, jihoon shows up at the library that saturday
- and okay, maybe kwon soonyoung isn’t so bad
socially awkward, yes, but actually not a terrible person?
- jihoon stops avoiding him, and they actually start talking
- which leads to them actually becoming rant buddies because wow they’re both filled with hatred for the world as the school year progresses
- they also start to study together and help each other out too
- soonyoung just has this magnetic personality, and after slowly letting his guard down, he just crashes straight into jihoon’s heart
- he can’t help but trust soonyoung?? there’s something about him that makes him feel like he wouldn’t hurt anyone, that makes him feel safe in soonyoung’s presence.
- and i mean, nursing major too
- except, he doesn’t really know much about soonyoung
- he’s a very secretive person, and every time they talk about their childhood or anything, soonyoung tries to change the topic
- but maybe that’s because he experienced something traumatic in the past, so jihoon lets it slide
- what he won’t let slide though, is that one day, he gets curious about what exactly is in soonyoung’s side of the room
- he’s usually not one to be so nosy, but come on, can you really blame him for being curious? soonyoung’s so secretive and closed off, anyone would be intrigued!!
- at least, that’s what he tells himself as he snoops through soonyoung’s stuff, looking at the spines of books on the shelves (just textbooks, nothing special) and he has this “bright” idea of looking at what’s in the mini fridge
- like, maybe that could be some clue to soonyoung’s lifestyle?
- when he opens it, it’s just mason jar after mason jar of red liquids, with dates on them
and jihoon’s just so confused, because there is no explanation to why someone would have so many small mason jars of the same thing. there’s around five full jars, and even more empty ones inside
- maybe it’s red wine or something? but why would anyone store it like this?
- the only logical thing at this point to him is to open it up, and he does.
- it’s blood. it’s all blood, and he’s freaking out, because what the actual fuck? does he call the campus cops or something??
- suddenly, he can hear the beeping of the lock for the dorm, and he knows soonyoung is back
- “kwon soonyoung, what the hell? why are you storing blood?”
“you’re looking through my stuff??” crap-
“i literally just wanted to put a chocolate bar in your mini fridge, not end up as the lead of a csi miami feature!” he says, grabbing a mars bar from his table
- soonyoung just sighs, and he… he looks like he wants to cry?
“i just- fuck, man. listen to me explain, okay? and trust me.”
- he spills it all, about how his family is just vampires, about how a sunbae, jeonghan, found out when they were in middle school and has been trying to get near expiring blood from the hospital for him so that he doesn’t need to keep feeding on animal blood, about everything.
- “i’m tired of hiding. every single time jeonghan gives me blood, he keeps reminding me that it’s near expiry so that i won’t feel too guilty, but still- it’s human blood! i’m drinking human blood, which is so messed up.”
“you… i mean, you can’t help it. you’re, well, a vampire.”
- they’re quiet for a while, and it’s painful. as if jihoon’s judging him for everything. he should’ve just moved out from the start, and everything could’ve been-
- “i don’t mind giving you my blood.”
- “what????” his mind is screaming no, because what if he accidentally loses control? what if he kills jihoon? or turns him??
“look, if it’s ever too much for me, i’ll push you off or something, alright? don’t worry about me, worry about yourself. you said it yourself, you feel bad for taking blood from the hospital. so now, i’m giving you my consent and everything. since you know i’m okay with this, will you feel better about everything?”
- it does help, actually. so he agrees
- he only has to drink once a day, but the amount he usually drinks at one shot is almost too much for jihoon the first time, and he’s left lightheaded after it, so now he breaks up the feedings into two, once in the morning and once at night
- jihoon also asks a lot of questions about the whole vampire thing, but they’re all genuine questions with no ill intent behind them, so he’s more than happy to answer them
- it feels so much better to 1) not have to keep taking blood from the hospital 2) not have to hide everything from his roommate anymore, and nowadays he’s more relaxed
- by the end of freshman year, they’re basically best friends. at the end of every year, you’re given the option to switch roommates, but naturally, they both reject it.
- the start of sophomore year is a series of discoveries for jihoon- the main one being that he may or may not have a crush on kwon soonyoung, after getting overly jealous of some girl who walked him back all the way to outside of their room
- and this sucks!!!! love sucks!!!!!! especially pining after people
- this slowly develops into love, and by the middle of the year it’s a full blown “i think i love him” scenario
- one afternoon, soonyoung’s taking a nap, and jihoon is just so tempted to steal a kiss
- he’s sleeping, so technically he won’t know,,,,,,
- he does it.
- but soonyoung isn’t exactly asleep
- you see, vampires don’t sleep. that day, soonyoung had a migraine and was trying to ignore everything happening around him and bAM- a feathery light kiss on the lips from jihoon
he’s muttering something about wishing soonyoung knew, and soonyoung’s doing his best not to scream because did he really just get a kiss from lee jihoon???? something he’s dreamed of for ages????????
- but this is just proof that jihoon likes him back, and the ball is now in his court
- he’s the one with the power to decide whether they stay friends or if he should make a move, since jihoon is definitely too shy to do anything
- jihoon ends up coming back the next day to soonyoung holding a bouquet of flowers, waiting nervously to ask him out.
- and of course, he says yes.
- nothing much really changes except for that now they go on dates and kiss and stuff
- and that now when soonyoung draws blood from jihoon, instead of biting his wrist, he bites him on the lip simply because he can
- soonyoung’s actually a very clingy boyfriend??? he suffocates jihoon in hugs anywhere, everywhere, and whenever anyone else sees it, they’re all super shocked
- is that really kwon soonyoung??? clinging on to his boyfriend in a backhug??????? the exact same kwon soonyoung who could probably scare a small kid into crying with his aura??
- one, yes.
- two, no!!! he does not scare small kids!! in fact, at the start of sophomore year, he actually changed from nursing to specializing in pediatrics, and the kids at the hospital he volunteers at love him
- jihoon also goes to visit him on shift because they’re now ~boyfriends~ and it is a valid reason to visit your boyfriend at work just because you miss him
- he likes watching soonyoung interact with the kids because he’s so easygoing and gentle around them, it’s a complete 180 from what he’s like on campus aka stone cold
- sometimes jihoon also performs songs for the kids, stuff like disney songs and even sings lullabies
- just soonhoon making kids in the hospital feel safe and loved and cared for !!
- soonyoung also never finds out the real reason why jihoon was looking through his stuff, and jihoon never finds out that vampires don’t sleep LOL
- but it’s ok they’re in love~

anonymous asked:

so Northwest school of the arts is on one of the most dangerous roads in charlotte and they dont have any security,they have lockdowns becuase someone is avading arrest but not a single cop on campus

That would be a wise investment

Anti-MRA Protest at the University of Sydney - 11th of May 2017

I’d like it if everyone could spread this as far and wide as possible. And yes, these are my videos, recorded at potato quality on my phone, with my clumsy fingers occasionally blocking the lens.

Here’s how it went down.

The Players: Fascist Free USyd vs. a coalition of BROSoc, the Conservative Club, and Society for Liberty.

The Event: A screening of Cassie Jaye’s Documentary “The Red Pill”.

The Setting: The University of Sydney (Carslaw Building), 11th of May 2017.

For people who can’t be bothered sitting through 46 minutes of protesting, I’ve broken down the important parts for you here, with timestamps.(Also, you likely can already guess for yourself how I feel about these events, but I’ve opted to keep commentary out of this summary as much as I can)

Keep reading

The Brothers Bittle
  • Jamie is the kind of person who needs regular doses of undivided attention or else he starts getting Weird.
  • Like, one time Suzanne had to leave town for a conference for three days and Coach got really overwhelmed with teaching and coaching. But then around nighttime Coach realized the house was suspiciously quiet. Too quiet. He even put Wicked in the CD player and turned it up, but his younger son didn’t pop out of the woodwork like normal.
  • He found him on a sidewalk near the center of town, covered in red body paint and holding up a placard. Coach was just relieved he didn’t have to go down to the police station this time.
  • So from then on, the entire Bittle clan makes sure Jamie gets regular doses of attention. Bitty calls him from Samwell at least once a week to check in. Suzanne teaches him how to garden. Coach takes him out back and they throw the football around for a bit. It’s good. Jamie stays out of the public lock up.
  • Sometimes, someone will say “Do you think Jamies is a little…funny?” And if Jamie hears he’ll whip around and say, “I’m not funny. I’m hilarious.”
  • It becomes a code for the gay underground at his school. More than once Jamie hears his friend Cow sigh to herself when Linette walks by. “I’m too hilarious and beautiful for this class.”
  • Jamie, Cow and Horace all go to prom together, and someone’s parent laughs and says, “Look at Jamie! A girl on each arm! What a ladies man!” And then when the three of them pile into the car Jamie will sigh woefully to himself. “I’m too hilarious for this town.”
  • “SAME!”
  • But imagine Bitty goes to Samwell for 5 years instead of 4. Maybe he double majors or something, but whatever happens Jamie ends up attending Samwell too.
  • So then you have TWO Bittles running around Samwell, and when people talk about them they’re like, “Oh yeah. The Brothers Bittle. One is super athletic—he’s captain of the hockey team. The other one loves musical theater waaaay too much.” And then someone meets them at a kegster and they look at Bitty like, “So how’s the theater department doing?” And Bitty is like, “How should I know???” Someone meets Jamie and they’re like, “How’s hockey?” and Jamie is like, “How can you think about hockey when Grantaire and Enjolras are so in love?”
  • Everyone thinks Jamie is going to join the hockey team for some reason, and it really pisses Jamie off. It gets to the point where he quits calling sports by their sports names. “Oh yeah. My big brother plays knife-shoe-Oreo-fight. My dad coaches egg-ball-hand-throw. My mom met him in high school, when she was in acrobatic-encouragement-yelling. Oh, I learned to dance like this when I took lessons in noisy-shoe-clicky-clack.”
  • Dex doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment.
  • By midterms Jamie is on a first name basis with the campus cops. He keeps doing performative art on the quad and the police keep telling him to put on pants, gdi. Bitty dies of fraternal shame at least once a week.
  • Affinity Housing is this stretch of houses and there’s a theater house, a marching band house, two artsy houses, a house for psyc majors, the zombie apocalypse house, etc.  Think frat row but not for formal fraternities. Jackson is a senior in the theater department and he gives his dibs to Jamie.
  • The theater house is right next to the religious studies house, and they are mortal enemies because the theater house is always loud. Always.
  • Listen. If you think hockey players are superstitious, just know that hockey players look absolutely tame next to drama students. Opening night rituals include: the Passing Around of the Gummy Sharks, shouting “Thespian Lesbians” at each other at full volume, “Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boyt-FUCK!”, rubbing the top of Guy Monty’s bald head, and kissing the director on the cheek.
  • Bitty, being a big brother, knows this. He hugs Jamie tight the night before a performance. “Break a leg,” he says. “Oh, and Jamie?” He leans forward and whispers, “Macbeth.”
  • Campus police can hear Jamie Bittle screaming from across the quad. “Should we check it out?” a rookie asks. His partner sips his coffee and grunts. He’ll learn. They all learn.
  • After Bitty graduates and Jack is in the NHL for a season or two, they come out as a couple. Which wouldn’t normally affect Jamie but the reporters are super thirsty for deets and Bitty and Jack aren’t giving them anything. Jamie starts finding reporters in his yard, on his way to classes, lurking by the auditorium. It’s super annoying.
  • They catch him after an all nighter and Jamie is twitching with caffeine. He has his script and his astronomy homework out because he can’t focus on just one now and a reporter puts an audio recorder in his face and asks for a soundbite. His eye twitches. “How can you think about Eric and Jack at a time like this?” he hisses. “When dark matter and universal expansion ARE SO IN LOVE?!”
  • Jamie calls Dex “Dad” unironically. “My hockey dad,” he says when Nursey gives him a weird look.
  • Jamie for literally anything: “Hah, that sounds so gay. I’m in.”
  • Jamie kicks open the door of the Haus. “DAD I NEED YOUR POWER TOOLS!”
  • Dex is like, “Are you going to be weird?”
  • “I AM BUILDING A SET!!!”
  • Which is how Dex ends up going to all the set building days for the Samwell Theater Department. He does it for Jamie, and Bitty sends him baked goods as an extra thank you. And the actors and techs keep giving Dex their phone numbers even when he explains he is in a happy, stable, monogamous relationship.
  • Dex needs a drink.
  • Bitty coming to visit is such a weird trip, both for SMH and the theater department. They learn too much about the Bittle household.
  • “Lol remember that time I told you serial killers lived in the Fruity Pebbles box?” “Omg Dicky you are such an asshole.”
  • “Lol remember that time I told you that you were adopted.” “Omg! That wasn’t funny!” “Jamie, you look almost exactly like Coach.” “Dicky, they didn’t have any baby pics of me! How was I supposed to know!”
  • “Lol remember that time I told you bats like to nest in people’s hair and then I dropped a squeaky toy on your head?” “Fuck you, Dicky.”
  • But then Jamie gets his revenge. He tells reporters about Jack and Bitty. Well, he lies.
  • “Jack is afraid of snow globes.”
  • “Eric Bittle is afraid of the dark. Also he wets the bed. Also he’s never kissed a girl!!! Also—wait, gimme back the recorder.”
  • “Jack Zimmermann has a tattoo of the Canadian flag on his lower back. So does Eric. They’re friendship tattoos.”
  • “When Eric was little he wanted to be a chicken. As, like, a career path.”
  • “Eric Bittle was adopted.” (“Sir, you and Mr. Bittle have the same face.”) “Are you saying all white people look the same?”
  • Jack, an only child, is really confused. “Why does your brother hate you? Bitty, stop—stop laughing. Bitty, I’m serious. You’re brothers, you shouldn’t fight.”
  • Jamie gets himself a Twitter account just so he can roast his brother publicly. Of course, it goes both ways. The chirping is relentless. Dad Bob gets in on it. Hockey fans are confused. Jamie is living.
  • There is a video on Bitty’s vlog, where he and Jamie are in the kitchen trying to bake something. Well, Bitty is trying to bake something. Jamie is being a huge pain in the ass. “I WANNA LICK THE BOWL!!!” “Jamie. Sweetheart. There’s literally only eggs and sugar in it.” “Ugh! Fine. Can I lick the spoon?” “…No.”
  • It devolves from there, to the point where Bitty and Jamie are throwing whole eggs at each other. There are drifts of sugar on the counters. The air is full of flour dust. Jack Zimmermann, professional NHL player, has is back against the wall, wide-eyed. “Why are you guys so violent?”
  • The video cuts to a pristine kitchen, and Bitty wearing a crisp, clean apron over crisp, clean clothes. He sets a perfect sheet cake on the counter in front of the camera. “And that’s how y’all make a sheet cake.”
  • Kent Parson follows Jamie on Twitter because they’re both sluts for absurdism. By the time Jamie graduates, the campus police know both him and Kent by their first names. Their performance pieces go viral. Jamie gets a spread in the Swallow. Bitty dies of fraternal shame again and he leaves Kent at least four angry voicemails.
  • Lardo finds Jamie at the Drama House. “You have zero respect for art.” “Uhhhh…” “I like that about you.”
  • Jamie calls everyone Dad. Bad Bob? Dad. Dex? Dad. The student director of the play he’s in? Dad. Lardo? Dad. The female lead and his love interest in the play? Dad. Lin-Manuel Miranda? Dad. Coach is frowning with the phone pressed against his ear. “How come I’m never Dad?”
  • Dex makes a face. “I seriously don’t have answers, Mr. Bittle. Why do you have my phone number?”

anonymous asked:

In regards to your answer about education and men, I think it's the same with women -- at least for me. I need to go to college because I want to get a job that can make a difference in society, and that pays enough for me to live off of and treat my girl the way she deserves. The reason that Asians (typically, as told to me by my Indian friend) excel is because their parents push them forward, and it's a fear of failure and disappointment to the family. So they work harder and overshadow others

Glad to know it’s similar because the school system just straight up doesn’t meet people’s needs. Security needs go down a lot, and going to school needs to have incentives rather than being punished for not going.

Like most schools being closed campus is super fucked imo. Deincentivizes getting a license. Also it’s not like they can pull some bullshit about “well classes are big so we need more security” cause I’ve been in uni classes with >160 people and obviously that shit won’t fly in university. Schools are literally built like prisons, from a design standpoint. 

I think a lot of this has to do with “teaching to the test” and parent paranoia that if their kid isn’t locked down 100% of the time they’ll join a gang (or worse, do the weed drug!). Creates a very unhealthy relationship with power, where some useless admin has more power than a teacher in your curriculum. Like we like the department of education, but we have to hold it accountable for making decisions that fucked us over like this. Or the fact that drugs in high school are treated as this epidemic. Half of my school smoked weed. We had a cop on campus. So apparently he did fuck all to prevent it, but people get their lives ruined over less.

I don’t know it’s 23:56 and I’m running on caffeine but like high school was a pretty depressing 4 years for me and I had a lot of emotional troubles because of it. Those buildings aren’t designed to help that. Also the fact that you have to do work in class seems really weird to me now, looking back.

Hallowrite Part Two - Mary Ellen

I think, officially, this bit of lore is about “The Fire Spook of Caledonia Mills”. We all call it “The Mary Ellen Spook Farm”, however.

So I’ve written about my university being haunted but it wasn’t just the school. Many things around it were. There’s a ghost ship that people see off the coast (the Ghost Ship of Arisaig), Ghost Lake near Tracadie, and just old-fashioned random hauntings. An old friend told me a story about her old apartment that still scares me today. But the most popular one that went around St FX (besides the Blue Nun) was the Mary Ellen Spook Farm.

Outside of Antigonish (sidenote, I love hearing non-Maritimers try to say that) is mostly farm country and has been for decades. In the early 1900s, the MacDonald family took in a girl named Mary Ellen, who had been orphaned. Shortly after Mary Ellen arrived, weird things began happening. They would wake up and find their cattle had been moved around and placed in different stalls. Farm tools would no longer be hung up in the barn and would be scattered around the yard, windows would be opened and so forth. The MacDonalds chalked it up to a lazy farmhand, until the fires started.
Fires would pop up in random weird places in their house that couldn’t be explained by sparks from a fireplace, or human action. They were never large fires, just tiny spots of flame that would combust on their walls or ceilings or in corners. The legend goes, Mary Ellen was a conduit for a poltergeist. The family eventually moved and the house fell into ruin. The ruins are still there and unsurprisingly, no one really rushed to live there after. No locals are very keen about visiting the site either but it’s sometimes part of a frosh week initiation. The only rule about visiting the site is that you cannot bring anything back with you. If you do, whatever was causing the fires will travel with you and you’ll have fires starting in your house (or dorm room, if you’re at school). My first year at X, I was leaving a party and saw 2 RCMP cars outside one of the lower campus dorms. I didn’t think anything of it – it was Friday, there were parties everywhere and I figured one got out of hand and campus security called the cops. I found out the next day that I was wrong. Two guys decided to drive out to the Spook Farm and bring a rock from the foundation back to campus. They got back and bragged about it and all hell broke loose. The RA (Residence Assistant, kind of like a floor parent) confined them to their room, the campus priest was called to do an emergency blessing of the dorm and the cops were brought in to escort the guys back to the site to return the rock. (Did I mention we take this shit seriously back home?)

A guy my friend was dating told me a story about the Spook Farm. A friend of his had bought a new car and wanted to take it out for a drive. His plan was to go to the Spook Farm on Halloween and then go to a party. His girlfriend was not on board with the idea and said she’d meet him at the party. He found 2 friends who were willing to make the trip so off they went. They got there, walked around a bit, found the ruins and despite having the feeling of being watched, nothing happened to them. They decided they’d spent enough time after an hour or so and went back to the car. When the guy tried to start it, nothing happened. No clicks, no whines, nothing. The car was seemingly dead. He was pissed, since it was a brand new car he’d gotten the day before and was extra pissed because it would be on hell of a fee to get the car towed back to town. As they’re sitting there trying to figure out what would be the best plan of action, smoke started to creep up around the car. That’s when he realized it.
“I don’t care which of you took it, but whatever it is put it back.”
“What are you talking about?”
“One of you took something, I know it. This isn’t fuckin’ funny; put it the hell back.”
The smoke was creeping higher and getting thicker.
“B’y what’re you on about we didn’t take anything.”
The smoke was wafting in through the vents now.
“I’m not fuckin’ around, if you took something put it back.”
His friend in the backseat sheepishly reached into his pocket and took out a chunk of rock. “Yeah…sorry man I did take something.” He rolled down the window and threw it back into the ruins of the house. Immediately the smoke cleared and the car started. He threw the car into gear and they peeled out, heading back to town. They tried to come up with an explanation – a rational explanation – but couldn’t. They had had an encounter with The Fire Spook.
Now, the guy’s girlfriend was at the party waiting for him. She was sitting in the kitchen chatting with some friends when she suddenly went rigid and started repeating “put it back put it back it’s coming for you put it back it’s coming for you put it back”. Her friends tried to snap her out of it but it was like she was in a trance. She kept it up for a few minutes until she said “they put it back it’s gone” and then was suddenly back to normal. She had no memory of what happened. When her boyfriend got to the party, she told him what happened and they realized that at the exact same time he was telling his friends to get rid of what they took, she was saying “put it back it’s coming for you” at the party.

Law Enforcement AUs

(cops, deputies, detectives, take your pick)

Anyway, after the video of the incident went viral, Lieutenant Pike was suspended with pay from his $110,000-a-year job (that’s not a typo) while the university conducted an investigation. While the officers claimed that they were trapped by the students and justified in their use of pepper spray (and totally not creaming their pants at the opportunity to finally try out their shiny new Judge Dredd gear, honest), an investigation found that the use of force was “objectively unreasonable” and that even the size of the pepper spray can was against regulations (“against regulations” being their fancy-pants way of saying “compensating for something”).

In the end, Pike got the boot and we all gave peace a chance. Right?

Well, a couple months later, Pike filed for worker’s comp because of the emotional trauma stemming from the death threats he and his family received after the incident (Which, to be fair, is right fucked up. Shame on you, Internet). Following a psychiatric evaluation, the university awarded him just over $38,000, which is approximately one dollar for each stinging tear shed by the 21 students.

Meanwhile, said group of students filed suit with the university and were awarded a $1 million settlement. Now, before you get too excited, a huge chunk of that went to their lawyers, in addition to another chunk set aside for any other potential plaintiffs that might come forward, leaving them around $30,000 each. At least it’s something, but when you compare that to the eight months of pay plus a larger settlement for the guy who taught those students that their freedom of assembly is null and void when weighed against the riot-gear-induced uber boner of a power-drunk campus cop, it seems more than a little ludicrous that they ended up with what basically amounted to a coupon for one free semester or one free chemistry textbook (offer not valid for both).

5 Viral Stories That Had Insane Twists After We All Moved On

Open Letter to the Government of Canada

Le français suit

To the Government of Canada: 

We are the Canadian Youth Delegation, supported by more than sixty environmental non-profits, labour groups, and youth organizations. We are youth from across Canada who are attending the upcoming UN international climate change negotiations (COP 20) in Lima, Peru. As we prepare for our participation at the negotiations, we realize how important it is for us to introduce ourselves and tell you that we refuse to tolerate the inaction of the Canadian Government when it comes to climate change. We intend to hold you accountable for the decisions you make at COP 20.  

We have grown up in a world threatened by the impacts of a changing climate. For our entire lives, world leaders have been aware of the irreversible damage that humans are inflicting on our planet, but have done almost nothing to reverse it. You, the Government of Canada, have made it clear that you are more interested in the profit and power you gain from a fossil fuel based economy than you are in ensuring a sustainable and livable planet for generations to come. Since assuming power you have:

- withdrawn from the Kyoto Protocol in 2012 and continually blocked progress at international climate negotiations;
- refused to put meaningful effort into supporting climate change adaptation and mitigation efforts;
- lowered and reneged on emissions reductions commitments and zealously lobbied other governments to do the same;
- pushed back relentlessly on the Climate Change Accountability Act (Bill C-311) and silenced the young people who protested its failure in October 2009 by dragging them from the House of Commons, where you laughed at them for demanding collective and ambitious climate action and policy;
- championed an omnibus bill in 2012 that stripped federal environmental protections and muzzled climate scientists;
- systematically audited and threatened organizations that aim to shed light on the disgraceful actions of the government;
- and denied the treaty rights of Indigenous peoples in this country. 

We, the Canadian Youth Delegation, stand alongside the millions of young people worldwide who refuse to inherit a planet in crisis. We stand beside Indigenous peoples, front-line communities, people of colour and low income populations who are living the frightening realities and injustices of climate change, and who will continue to be disproportionately impacted in the absence of sufficient action. 

From coast to coast to coast First Nations, Inuit, and Métis, industry workers, new immigrants, parents, farmers, fishers, unions, students and many more are demanding climate justice. Yet the Government of Canada continues to lead us down a highway of unfettered expansion of the tar sands, paired with unwieldy trade agreements, and a complete lack of respect for Indigenous land and treaty rights. We reject the notion that the environment and the economy are mutually exclusive or pitted against each other. There is no price tag on forests, rivers, wetlands, air, culture, communities, or our lives and livelihoods.  We know that it is not for lack of technological advancement, public opinion, or financial resources that we have not stopped climate change in its tracks; the culprit is lack of political will. Along with action on climate change, we demand that the Government of Canada honour the treaties and land rights of Indigenous people in this country.

You have the opportunity to be a leader in creating a just transition to a clean energy future, but you consistently fail to rise to the challenge. By now, any excuses for delay have long expired, yet we anticipate with heavy hearts that you will continue to stall negotiations at COP 20 and promote carbon-intensive projects at home. If this is the case, we will continue to challenge the ongoing development of the single most destructive development anywhere on Earth, and we will not give up until you acknowledge and take urgent and ambitious action to demonstrate that our future is more important to you than the money in your pockets, the oil on your hands, or the power you hold. To us, our future is everything, and we will do all that we can to protect it. Let it echo through the halls and boardrooms of every legislating body and corporate headquarters in this country: we deserve better. 

Sincerely, 

The Canadian Youth Delegation to COP 20  
350.org
Bringing Youth Towards Equality (BYTE) 
Canadian Federation of Students 
Canadian Labour Congress
Canadian Unitarians for Social Justice
Canadian Youth Climate Coalition
ClimateFast
Climate Justice Saskatoon
Committee for Future Generations
Conservation Council of New Brunswick
Council of Canadians
Dalhousie Student Union Office of Sustainability
Divest Dalhousie
Divest McGill 
Divest Mount Allison
Divest UVic 
Divest York
Douglas Channel Watch 
Ecology Action Centre 
Ecology North
Ecology Ottawa 
Environmental Studies Student Association, University of Saskatchewan
Fossil Fuel Divestment at Grenfell 
Fossil Free Guelph
Fossil Free Kwantlen 
Fossil Free Lakehead
Fossil Free McMaster 
Fossil Free uOttawa 
Friends of the Earth Canada
Geography, Planning and Environmental Graduate Students of Concordia University 
Greenpeace Canada
Inter-Church Uranium Committee Educational Co-operative 
Keepers of the Athabasca
Leadnow.ca
Living Oceans Society
Mother Earth Action Co-operative Ltd.
Nova Scotia Native Women’s Association
Pro Information Pro Environmental United People (PIPE UP) Network
Polaris Institute
Public Interest Alberta
Queen’s Backing Action on Climate Change
rabble.ca 
RPIC (Renewable Power - the Intelligent Choice) 
Saskatoon Peoples’ Climate March
Saskatchewan Citizens’ Hearings on Climate Change Organizing Committee 
Saskatchewan Eco-Network
Sierra Club BC
Sierra Club Canada Foundation
Simon Fraser Public Interest Research Group
Starfish Canada 
Stop Energy East Halifax
Sustainable SFU 
Sustainable Trent 
Student’s Society of McGill University 
Toronto350.org 
Transition Initiative Kenora
UBCC350
UofT350.org 
UR Sustainability 
Vegans and Vegetarians of Alberta
West Coast Environmental Law Association
Wilderness Committee

International 
Aotearoa New Zealand Human Rights Lawyers Association
Australian Youth Climate Coalition 
Friends of the Earth Europe 
Generation Zero 
New Zealand Youth Delegation 
P3 Foundation 
SustainUS: U.S. Youth for Sustainable Development Young

———

Au gouvernement canadien:  

Nous sommes la Délégation jeunesse canadienne, soutenue par plus de soixante organismes à but non lucratif, syndicats et organisations jeunesse. Nous sommes des jeunes de partout au Canada qui seront présents à la Conférence des parties sur le climat (COP 20), à Lima du 1er au 12 décembre. Alors que nous nous préparons à participer à ces négociations, nous avons cru bon de nous présenter et de vous annoncer que nous ne tolérons pas l’inaction du gouvernement canadien en matière de changements climatiques. À COP20, nous avons l’intention de vous tenir responsable des décisions que vous avez prises au courant de la dernière décennie. 

Nous avons grandi dans un monde menacé par les impacts d’un climat en changement. Durant l’intégralité de nos vies, les leaders mondiaux ont été au courant des dommages que l’humain inflige à la planète, mais n’ont pas agi pour l’en empêcher. Vous, le gouvernement canadien, avez fait clairement comprendre que vous êtes davantage intéressé par le profit et le pouvoir que vous obtenez d’une économie basée sur les énergies fossiles que vous l’êtes par l’assurance d’un environnement sain pour les générations à venir. Depuis la prise de pouvoir de M. Harper, vous avez: 

- retiré le Canada du Protocole de Kyoto en 2012 et continuellement empêché le progrès des négociations internationales sur le climat;
- refusé d’investir quelque effort que ce soit au soutien de l’adaptation et de la mitigation des impacts des changements climatiques;
- manqué à vos obligations de réduction des émissions tout en encourageant d’autres gouvernements à suivre votre exemple;
- réprimé le projet de loi sur la responsabilité en matière de changements climatiques (C-311) et retiré la voix des jeunes manifestant leur désaccord à l’abandon de cette loi en les traînant hors de la Chambre des communes et en riant de leurs demandes d’action concrète;
- introduit et adopté le projet de loi C-45 annulant les protections environnementales fédérales tout en muselant les scientifiques;
- audité et menacé de manière systématique des organismes tentant de dénoncer les actions douteuses du gouvernement;
- renié les droits ancestraux des peuples autochtones du pays. 

La Délégation jeunesse canadienne se tient debout avec les millions de jeunes à travers le monde qui refusent d’hériter d’une planète en crise. Nous nous tenons debout avec les Autochtones, les communautés au front des impacts climatiques, les personnes de couleur et les populations à revenu modique qui vivent quotidiennement les réalités et les injustices climatiques, et qui continueront de les vivre de manière disproportionnée si vous maintenez vos positions et restez dans l’inaction. 

À l’échelle du pays, des Premières Nations, Inuit, Métis, travailleuses et travailleurs, parents, fermières et fermiers, pêcheurs et pêcheuses, syndiqué(e)s, étudiantes et étudiants ainsi que des milliers d’autres personnes demandent la justice pour le climat. Pourtant, le gouvernement canadien maintient ses positions d’industrialisation débridée, d’exploitation de nos ressources naturelles et d’accords d’échange peu fructueux, sans se soucier des impacts sur le territoire ou des droits des Autochtones. Nous rejetons la notion selon laquelle l’environnement et l’économie sont exclusifs ou en opposition. Nos forêts, nos rivières, les milieux humides, l’air, notre culture, nos communautés, nos vies et nos moyens de subsistance n’ont pas de prix. Ce ne sont pourtant pas le manque d’avancées technologiques, l’opinion publique ou le manque de ressources financières qui nous empêchent de contrer les changements climatiques : le manque de volonté politique est le vrai coupable. En plus de l’action concrète sur les changements climatiques, nous exigeons que le gouvernement du Canada respecte les traités et les droits des Autochtones. 

Vous avez la chance de devenir des leaders pour un futur propre, mais vous échouez constamment à relever ce défi. Aujourd’hui, le délai pour fournir des excuses a expiré depuis fort longtemps, pourtant nous anticipons avec tristesse que vous continuerez de retarder les négociations à COP 20 et de promouvoir des projets d’extraction sur la scène nationale. Si c’est le cas, nous continuerons de défier le développement des sables bitumineux, soit le projet d’exploitation le plus destructeur au monde. Nous ne cesserons pas jusqu’à ce que vous reconnaissiez que notre futur vaut plus que l’argent dans vos poches, le pétrole sur vos mains ou le pouvoir que vous détenez. Nous exigeons des actions en ce sens. Pour nous, le futur est tout ce que nous possédons et nous ferons tout ce qui est en notre pouvoir pour le protéger. Que notre message résonne à travers les chambres d’assemblées et les sièges sociaux du pays: nous méritons mieux.

Sincèrement,

La Délégation jeunesse canadienne à COP 20
350.org
Bringing Youth Towards Equality (BYTE) 
Canadian Federation of Students 
Canadian Labour Congress
Canadian Unitarians for Social Justice
Canadian Youth Climate Coalition
ClimateFast
Climate Justice Saskatoon
Committee for Future Generations
Conservation Council of New Brunswick
Council of Canadians
Dalhousie Student Union Office of Sustainability
Divest Dalhousie
Divest McGill 
Divest Mount Allison
Divest UVic 
Divest York
Douglas Channel Watch 
Ecology Action Centre
Ecology North
Ecology Ottawa 
Environmental Studies Student Association, University of Saskatchewan
Fossil Fuel Divestment at Grenfell 
Fossil Free Guelph
Fossil Free Kwantlen 
Fossil Free Lakehead
Fossil Free McMaster 
Fossil Free uOttawa 
Friends of the Earth Canada
Geography, Planning and Environmental Graduate Students of Concordia University 
Greenpeace Canada
Inter-Church Uranium Committee Educational Co-operative 
Keepers of the Athabasca
Leadnow.ca
Living Oceans Society
Mother Earth Action Co-operative Ltd.
Nova Scotia Native Women’s Association
Pro Information Pro Environmental United People (PIPE UP) Network
Polaris Institute
Public Interest Alberta
Queen’s Backing Action on Climate Change
rabble.ca
RPIC (Renewable Power - the Intelligent Choice) 
Saskatoon Peoples’ Climate March
Saskatchewan Citizens’ Hearings on Climate Change Organizing Committee 
Saskatchewan Eco-Network
Sierra Club BC
Sierra Club Canada Foundation
Simon Fraser Public Interest Research Group
Starfish Canada 
Stop Energy East Halifax
Sustainable SFU 
Sustainable Trent 
Student’s Society of McGill University 
Toronto350.org 
Transition Initiative Kenora
UBCC350
UofT350.org 
UR Sustainability 
Vegans and Vegetarians of Alberta
West Coast Environmental Law Association
Wilderness Committee

Organisations internationales
Aotearoa New Zealand Human Rights Lawyers Association
Australian Youth Climate Coalition
Generation Zero
New Zealand Youth Delegation 
P3 Foundation
SustainUS: U.S. Youth for Sustainable Development
Young Friends of the Earth Europe  

I’m Gonna Be the Man Whose Coming Home to You

Here’s the final part! I hope you guys liked it as much as I liked writing it :3

Rating: T for Language and Sexual Implications

Previous Part

IV. Jean

Connie decided Eren and Mikasa should be banned from the way back which was how Eren found himself driving again after stopping for gas. Armin took the way back with Connie, leaving Mikasa next to a still sound asleep Jean.  Eren didn’t mind too much, Armin drove a good three hours before they needed to stop and apparently swap seats. There was only six hours left now, the final stretch till they could get out of this car till they had to go home.

“Would anyone be opposed to my rendition of ‘The Final Countdown’?” Connie asked, back munching on the massive bag of chips.

“Yes,” Sasha said from the passenger seat. She was still laying down but was reading something on her phone since she woke up.  “At least save it for when we’re an hour away or something.”

“Good point, Sash.”

Eren rolled his eyes but by the time they’d finally reach only one hour left he might even join in song with them. He looked in the rearview mirror to see Mikasa still reading her book in peace from her seat. He was kinda surprised she hadn’t finished it already; she could read almost as fast as Armin did.

Keep reading

Don’t Shoot! I’m a Teacher.

It’s 1981 and my Mom is six months pregnant. It’s been a rough pregnancy; two miscarriages came before this one and the doctor is already throwing words around like “bed rest” and “high risk.”  My Mom is stubborn, refuses to give in just yet, because her students need her. She’s their only spokesperson at school, the only one who seems to care about the kids with too much anger in their little bodies, the kids who are reading four grades behind where they should be, and the kids who don’t talk and are afraid of anyone but her.

The special education kids don’t get the bigger classrooms; they get the leftovers. No matter. She knows how to make do with just the scraps. The students sit one on top of the other. They pretend it’s cozy. Everyone knows each other’s business. She leans over a student’s desk while handing back papers; there isn’t enough room for aisles for her to easily walk down. The students shout either in joy or defeat when they see their grades. A chorus follows her passing. She gets to Jamie, a fifth grader who is far too serious and angry for a ten year old. He looks at his paper, looks up at her and says, “I’m gonna kill you.”

She pauses for a moment. What do you say to a ten year old whose first reaction is to always lash out? She laughs, a nervous response, then smiles. “Well, come see me after school, and we can talk about that.”

He has it rough at home; he’s not alone. Most of her students are poor and either living with only one parent or being raised by grandparents. All of them have a rage in their chest ready to explode. She chalks it up to the shouting that probably kept him up all night, talks to him about working on his grades, and sends him home. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

The next morning a handful of students come rushing into her classroom early. “Teach, teach, Jamie’s got a gun. He had it on the bus.”

Jamie follows them into the classroom. He slams his backpack on the desk and rests his head on top of it. My mom shoos the students out, then kneels the best she can at his desk.

“Jamie, what’s going on?” He doesn’t respond, just sinks lower in his seat. “The girls told me you had a gun. Is that true?”

He looks up at her and nods.

“Okay. Can I see it, please?” She still doesn’t believe a ten year old could get his hands on a gun so easily. It has to be a toy.

 He reaches into his bag, pulls a revolver out, and points it at her.

Keep reading

falsealarm  asked:

master's student waverly earp and campus cop nicole haught

YES how did you know that my secret catnip is no-demons AUs to make these idiots even fluffier. Five headcanons:

  1. OK you gave me this one already but it’s great: Waverly is one of those masters’ students who’s perpetually super stressed out and maybe she has like…two and a half jobs? Plus her thesis? Which is probably in anthropology or something and next summer she has to go to Peru or something Peru is expensive and her supervisor is terrible at writing grants etc etc etc. Anyway, one of her jobs is in this coffee shop, and Nicole stops by every night at nine on the dot for her cappuccino.
  2. Look, Nicole isn’t a real cop? She’s basically a grad student who helps out part time on campus security, and the only cop-like things she has are a uniform and a radio and a car, but Waverly still thinks it’s really sexy and brave that she fights crime.
  3. (Not that she’d ever say anything about it out loud? To anyone? Ever? But still.)
  4. Nicole secretly working really hard every day to make it to Waverly’s coffee shop by nine because mayyybe her cute girl cappuccinos are the highlight of her shifts? Nicole showing up for her coffee one day at nine fifteen and she’s trying to play it cool but there’s pink stuff in her hair, because maybe she caught a bunch of undergrads trying to silly-string the student union building and was rushing a bit to clean up and make it for coffee on time but she can’t say that to cute coffee girl so she just blushes as pink as that silly string and asks for help getting it out? 
  5. Nicole finally works up the nerve to ask Waverly out and she spills (cold) milk down the front of her shirt and it’s kind of the cutest thing.
  6. The two of them finally get together and then Nicole starts getting her coffee every night at quarter to eleven, just before closing. (Maybe there is a lot of making out in the back room, maybe one time they get carried away on top of one of the cafe tables, maybe.)