campus basement

Oberlin Gothic

•There is always music playing at the bandstand. If you can’t hear it, that just means it wasn’t meant for you.

•Sophomores tell Freshman that the scariest place on campus is the Severance basement. Juniors start to object, but decide against it. Seniors look away, and say nothing.

•There are tunnels under the library. There are tunnels under south campus, too, but we know where those came from.

•Every year, a dean sends an email telling students that the banging noises in the dorms come from the heating system. Every night, the students repeat to themselves the same thing.

•No matter how loud the Exco Fair gets, it’s never quite able to drown out the screams.

•In Warner, the room you want is always two doors further down than you thought. Always exactly two doors.

•They say “the weather’s made up” as a joke. The jokes never mention by whom.

•Visiting professors never say where they’re visiting from. Their students quickly learn not to ask.

•There are only two pizza drivers after ten. One of them is always out of breath, and the other’s smile is about three teeth too wide.

•The sound of laughter can always be heard in North. The laughter is loudest when there’s no one around.