campbells-soup

there’s a guy in one of my classes who i am secretly battling for dominance over by wearing awful hipster outfits. i dont know if he is thinking the same thing but regardless i intend to win

i thought i won today when i walked into class wearing my awful 1995 figure skating tour of the world (sponsored by campbells soup) t-shirt, mom jeans, and 1980 moscow olympics-theme denim jacket but then he had to walk in wearing a donald duck jacket with matching donald duck socks like what a fucking power move

matt and shiro at the garrison
  • shiro introduces matt to new students with the wrong name just to see how long they can get away with it
    • shiro: “hey this is my friend boiled chicken” matt: “what’s up”
    • shiro: “this is my friend undercooked spaghetti. he looks 17 but he’s actually 36 and was held back 19 years” 
    • new student: “your name is…broccoli? are you sure about that?” matt: “are you calling me a liar?” 
  • shiro throws juice boxes into the trash can and yells “KOBE!” but they never get in 
  • matt: “why are you crying?” shiro: “i got an A- in this test. i studied so hard as well!!”
    • matt looking at his C+ that he was happy with: “haha yeah…sucks…”
  • shiro: “sir would you like a breath mint?” iverson: “why?”
    • shiro: “cos the only thing out of your mouth is shit”
  • on a dare matt goes into the gym for a school assembly, wearing nothing but boxers with bejewelled letters on the back spelling “M A T T H O L T”
  • iverson: “i drink to forget but i always remember”
  • early on in their friendship, shiro goes into matt’s room to get a textbook and sees the walls plastered with ‘Campbells® Green Pea Soup’ posters. he’s so terrified that he never mentions it again
  • the first time shiro and matt meet each other:
    • matt: my name is matthew with a ‘b’ and i’ve been afraid of insects my entire l-
    • shiro: stop stop stop, where?
    • matt: hmm?
    • shiro: where’s the ‘b’?
    • matt: tHeRe’S a bEE?
  • shiro always walks into the wrong classroom and doesn’t know how to deal with it, so he just says ‘haha, forgot my…calculator…’, picks up a random’s kid’s lunch box, and walks out 
  • shiro: i’m feeling a little rebellious today!! (: so i’m not going to tie my laces, i’m only going to do 46/50 of the maths equations assigned to us, and i’ll mess up my entire presentation!! by typing it in comic sans haha
  • matt scrunching up the worksheet he was given and putting it in his mouth, chewing slowly: this is how i feel about homework sir