calvin and hobbes snowmen

arguably the most amusing thing I’ve written today:

“It turned out that human young had a ritual that involved creating effigies out of frozen condensation and then granting them names. Whether this was purely symbolic or whether some diabolical human power would later bring these effigies to life to do their organic masters’ bidding remained to be seen.”

Everybody’s excited for the new skins, but I can’t believe nobody noticed the best part of the winter wonderland video:

It’s the same angle and everything!!! Best reference ever.

Christmas Prank War!

I’m sorry it’s so late!  But I wanted to write all three of your Supernatural prompts… I only got one finished so far and I thought I should just submit it to you now, before it got any later.  But the other two are still coming  :)  Anyway, I hope you enjoy!  Happy holidays!

Panda’s Notes: Oh my gosh!! ^w^ I loved it so much! It’s perfect and hilarious! So many thanks to you, anon! I wish I had a name to call you by. 

—————————————-

This particular year, there was exactly one week between Thanksgiving and the first of December.  In years gone by, back in Michigan with his mom, Kevin would have spent that time doing… nothing much in particular.  He and his mother weren’t religious and didn’t do that much for the holidays.  They certainly didn’t participate in some ridiculous prank war to “get in the holiday spirit”. 

Kevin had explained this all to Sam, after they found the entire contents of their refrigerator – every bottled condiment; the egg carton and the eggs inside; each individual grape – immaculately wrapped in gift paper, and tied with an elegant ribbon.  The paper was in festive red and green and gold and featured the Archangel Gabriel blowing his horn beneath the Star of David. 

The week after Thanksgiving was even less noteworthy in Sam’s life, historically.  John Winchester hadn’t made any special note of the impending Christmas holiday at all, beyond seasonal monsters. Dean tried, he generally saved his efforts for closer to the actual date.  So there was no strong holiday spirit at the end of November.

He spoke of this in wistful tones to Kevin, as he surveyed the drive leading to the bunker, which was lined with all manner of horrifying snowmen that would have made Calvin and Hobbes proud.  Various snow-monsters were chasing or eating snow-people (dressed in clothes that Sam, Kevin and Dean would have found familiar). 

An immediately recognizable and very detailed snow-Castiel sculpture reclined on the hood of the Impala, wearing a Santa hat and little else.  Sam wasn’t even going to go there.

—————————————–

These events had been preceded by days of other events – other pranks, originating from one extremely dedicated archangel, determined to force the spirit of Christmas upon the inhabitants of the bunker.

-          Sam, Dean, Kevin, and Charlie had all woken up the day after Thanksgiving with an enormous, life-sized gingerbread person lying in bed next to them.  Gunshots had been heard in Sam and Dean’s rooms as they’d shot the fucker.  Charlie turned out to have slashed her bed companion, and her sheets, with a knife she kept on her nightstand.  Kevin just screamed and flung himself out of the bed, knocking his head on the dresser and lying there in a daze. 

 -          On that same occasion as the gingerbread man, and adding to the chaos, the entire floor of all their bedrooms had been covered in plastic cups filled to the brim with egg nog.  Every inch of the floor.  There was no way to move without spilling several, and their rooms smelled of rum and nutmeg for days afterwards.

 -          All of their mirrors reflected them wearing Santa hats and beards.

 -          Small buckets of red-and-green glitter and confetti were placed over half-opened doors, spilling their contents on the unfortunates below.

 -          Every room in the bunker was filled about chest high (chest high on Kevin and Charlie, anyway, which was just over waist high for Dean and Sam) with plastic Christmas ornaments.  Thousands of them.

 -          Their shoes had electronic music buttons embedded in the soles, playing jaunty holiday tunes every time they walked.

 -          Every shirt in their closet got replaced with an ugly Christmas sweater.  Everyone complained except Charlie.  So the next day, Dean found in his closet that there was nothing but a goofy one-piece reindeer costume to wear.  Kevin had to wear a sexy elf outfit.  Sam, who had complained the loudest… Sam had a thong mankini.  With the Archangel Gabriel playing his horn on the small scrap of material covering his junk.  He didn’t leave his room until Castiel talked Gabriel into giving him a pair of sweatpants (they had the words “naughty AND nice” printed on the butt).

 It just went on and on.  And it wasn’t even December yet!

Charlie just thought it was hilarious.  “Come on, guys, it’s funny!  And it’s not like anything’s being permanently wrecked!” she’d say, completely missing the point that this was annoying as fuck.

Cas was of no use.  He firmly stated that he was going to remain neutral, and halfheartedly tried to convince the hunters that it was Gabriel’s way of embracing his identity as the Angel of Christmas once again.  Sam guessed that he couldn’t quite blame Cas for not wanting to get dragged into it – it was a little brother’s survival instinct.  Sam totally got that.

Speaking of annoying older brothers, though, Dean was also not helping.  He was allowing Gabriel’s pranks to light the twin fires of competition and revenge within him.  Sam could have told him that it was beyond pointless to try to out-trick the Trickster, but Dean was positive he was the superior prankster, and was dead set on getting Gabriel back. 

It was an exercise in futility, maybe, but Dean had made himself useful in at least one important way.  He’d been digging up relics that the Men of Letters had kept stashed away.  Dean had the intention of perpetuating this stupid prank war, but Sam and Kevin thought they could end it. 

“Okay.  We got – that sheet with the angel trap on it?” asked Sam.

“Check,” Kevin set aside the large rolled sheet of durable plastic with the Enochian symbols painstakingly drawn in permanent marker.

“The woven hair of Samson, for binding.”

“Check.” 

“The stone of Eden, to temporarily inflict mortal limitations on angelic beings.”

“Check.  Don’t lose that.  And… we have one of his feathers.”

“The feather of the archangel.  It’s his though, right?”

“That’s what Cas says.”

Sam sighed.  “Let’s hope.”

——————————————

“You Winchesters and Winchesters-by-proxy really love playing with fire, don’t you?”  Gabriel’s voice held an interesting combination of things – fury, admiration, defeat, and a calm promise of retribution later.

And just barely, perhaps only in Sam’s imagination, there was the tiniest hint of nervousness.

The archangel stood within the bounds of the plastic sheet, which Sam was securing to the floor.  His feet were bare; Sam had discarded the shoes and socks while he was down on the floor.  Gabriel’s arms were bound over his head with woven golden filaments, and attached to a crosspiece Sam had nailed in place on a wooden beam in the garage.  Kevin picked up the stone of Eden, wrapped in leather cords that formed a necklace, and slipped it over the archangel’s neck.  Gabriel’s eyebrows rose to his hairline.

“That thing?!  The stone of Eden?  You’re using the most valuable artifact in your inventory for this?  You lunks are dumber than I thought, and that’s saying a lot.  I genuinely believed you two were supposed to be the smart ones out of this crew of knuckleheads.”

“We are the smart ones,” Kevin allowed a hint of smugness to enter his voice, as he stepped around in front of the captive trickster-slash-archangel.  “Our plan went off without a hitch.”

“And now we’re here to set the terms for your release.”  Sam stood up and positioned himself next to Kevin.

“The terms for my release.  Right, okay.  Just so long as you two muttonheads keep in mind that I am filing all of this away in my immaculate, eternal memory.”

“As I said, here are the terms for your release,” Sam said loudly.  “They’re very simple.”

“Enough with the pranks already!!” Kevin burst out.

“…Are you serious,” Gabriel was giving them a seriously unimpressed look.  “You brought out the stone of Eden, the angel trap, to whine about being pranked.”

“It’s not even freaking December yet!” 

“It’s gotten completely out of hand, Gabriel,” Sam agreed.  “You need to tone it down.”

“Lemme think about it – uh, no.  Nope.  You two need to lighten up,” Gabriel shot back.

“We’re the ones calling the shots here,” Sam informed him.  “And we did anticipate you were going to be a dick about it.”

“So, check out phase two of the plan,” Kevin smirked and retrieved their final item.

Gabriel finally looked visibly nervous as the long golden feather made its appearance.  “Shit.  You two – where did you get that?!” 

“Your feather?  It was in the inventory.”  Kevin twirled the feather nonchalantly.   “Lore says it has great power.  Healing properties, destructive properties… and apparently, whatever it’s used for, the effect is amplified on the archangel it came from.”

Sam was slowly stepping around behind Gabriel.  He had decided that it was the kindest choice to let Kevin use the feather.  After all, he certainly was the one who got tickled the most by the archangel. 

Sam worked better with his hands, anyway.

He placed his fingers on Gabriel’s ribcage, not moving them yet.  Just waiting.

Gabriel jerked at the touch, but couldn’t get far with the strands holding him in place.  “I’ll give you one chance to call this off,” he threatened.

“Funny, that sounds like our line,” Kevin drew the feather across Gabriel’s exposed throat.  “Just agree to knock it off with all the pranking, Gabriel?”

“You little thug,” Gabriel snarled.  “You two really think you can threaten me-!”

“Let’s get him,” Sam suggested, and Kevin grinned in reply.

Sam started vibrating his fingertips in the bony ridges of Gabriel’s ribs, at the same time that Kevin lifted the hem of the archangel’s T-shirt and began drifting the feather across the smooth, quaking skin.  The effect was immediate: Gabriel jerked and began laughing helplessly, trying to dance away from the feather and fingers.

It was riveting.  One of the most powerful creatures left on earth, giggling and squirming like a kid, eyes crinkled closed, mouth stretched wide in a grin.  Sam felt his own grin starting in return, and he moved his fingers up to drill into Gabriel’s armpits.

A shrill shriek came in reply.  “You-hou-houeeeEEEEHEEhee!!”

“Aw, Gabriel, come on!  You can’t be that ticklish, can you?” Kevin crooned.  “Oh, wait, maybe you can, with this feather… does this reeeeally tickle?  How about right here?”

The feather dragged quickly from Gabriel’s waist, over to tease at the belly button.  Gabriel squawked and crumpled – or tried to, but the bonds around his wrists kept him stretched upright. 

Kevin and Sam both beamed at him.  “Wow, good spot, is it?” Sam asked rhetorically.  Gabriel was giggling too hard to reply.

“Ugh, you look adorable like this,” Kevin teased.  “Stupidly ticklish is a good look on you.”

Sam began tweaking Gabriel’s hips, and got a fun little wiggle out of the archangel.  “N-NOOOHOOOHOOO!!” he wailed.

“Oh, but yes, Gabriel!  It really is!” Sam mocked him delightedly.

“Here, Gabriel, let’s try this… I bet this is gonna be entertaining…”  Kevin was kneeling down by Gabriel’s bare feet.  The trickster feebly tried to kick at Kevin, but the prophet easily caught his leg and hugged it to him.

Sam quickly ran his fingers up Gabriel’s shirt, going for the archangel’s known killzone: between his shoulderblades.

They both attacked at once.  Kevin ran the golden feather over the sole of Gabriel’s foot, dragging it between the toes and swirling it around in the curve of the arch.  Sam danced his fingers over the space between the angel’s shoulderblades, where the wings would be, and actually felt his fingers buzz with sensation.

Gabriel was in hysterics, tears running down his face, high-pitched whinnying laughter pouring out of him, helplessly.

Sam and Kevin kept it up for as long as they dared, before letting the tickles die down slowly.

“Had enough, Gabriel?  We can keep it up as long as we have to, you know,” Sam said sweetly.

“Yeah, this is exactly as great as I thought it was gonna be,” Kevin gloated.

“Youhouhou, eeheeheeehee,” Gabriel giggled. 

“Allllll you gotta do is stop the damn pranking,” Sam reminded him.  “Then this can all stop!”

“I a-ham the angel of Chri-histmas, you know!” Gabriel chuckled weakly.  “I’m s-supposed to be spreading h-holiday cheer!  Youhou just tortured mehee for doing my job!”

Sam glanced at Kevin and refrained from rolling his eyes at the look of guilt on the prophet’s face.  “It’s just… too much, Gabriel!”  Kevin explained.

“I want to be able to wake up in the morning without flinching,” Sam added. 

“And not worry that I have to wear thigh-highs with candy canes on them again.”

“Or have everything I drink turn into eggnog, like some fucked-up King Midas shit,” Sam’s voice took on a little heat with the memory of that particular day.

Gabriel’s giggles were now just panting, as he slumped over in his bonds.  It was hard not to feel a little sorry for him… but it was on Sam to be firm.  Kevin might not have been around for Gabriel’s Pure Trickster Mode, but Sam Winchester remembered very well how days and days of tricks could get old in a hurry.

He folded his arms.  “Keep the tricks to a minimum, and play them on Charlie or Dean.  Leave us out of it.”

“We’ll get into the holiday spirit another way.  Like, a nicer way,” said Kevin, the soft heart.  “With hot chocolate and TV specials.”

“And don’t think that we won’t do all this again,” Sam said threateningly, wiggling his fingers at Gabriel and taking some satisfaction in watching him twitch with a gasp.

“All right, fine, you Grinches!”  Gabriel growled, twisting away from Sam as far as he could.  “I’ll keep the holiday spirit to a minimum.” 

Sam gently prodded the archangel’s ribcage.  “Pranks on the other two only?”

“All right already!!  Yes!”  Gabriel squirmed again.

Kevin joined in, poking Gabriel’s belly.  “But you’ll still watch Rudolph with us and stuff right?  You’re not mad?” 

“K-ihi-hid, cut it out!  Ye-hes, I’ll watch dahahamn Rudolph!”

Sam did roll his eyes at that, but at least Kevin softened the blow.  “All right.  Just remember, Gabriel, we’re keeping our eye on you.”  He went to step around behind Gabriel, but Kevin put a hand on his arm.

“Wait, Sam – how are we going to get him down?”

“I have a knife – ”

“No, Sam, but when he gets out, he’s gonna destroy us.”

There was a long pause.

“….We’ll send Charlie down to get you out,” Sam suggested, gripping Kevin’s shoulder and tugging him towards the door.

“You little shits are dead-“

“Kevin, your entire room is warded, right?”

“Yeah, but, let’s go over it all one more time before we get Charlie?”

“Actually, let’s check it twice.”

anonymous asked:

Do you have any Barry/Kara headcanons you'd be willing to share? :)

Of course I do.

Let’s do Christmas-themed, because why not?  <3

  1. Kara wears the reindeer headband, Barry wears the Santa hat (until Iris steals it, at which point he replaces it with a second Santa hat, that Cisco steals).
  2. They have candy cane eating contests.  James and Winn are Team Crunch-Em-Whole, Cisco stuffs twelve in his mouth at once, (Caitlin abstains from participating and is still on her first candy cane), Kara and Iris are Team Eat-Them-Like-a-Normal-Person, and Barry accidentally inhales one and promptly chokes on it.  (Oliver smokes them at the contest, btw.  All those years competing against Thea paid off!)
  3. Barry and Caitlin wraps presents (Caitlin repeatedly “unwraps” Barry’s presents and rewraps them properly), Cisco and Iris write “Santa” letters to kids, and Kara hangs mistletoe from every conceivable corner of the house.  “You’re only – you hang it from like, one place,” Winn attempts to explain, blushing bright red.
  4. Oh, and Kara drags the whole Team Superflash gang caroling because this is such a great Earth tradition!  It’s gonna be so much fun!  Barry’s gonna die and after six “shots” of Grandma Esther’s eggnog Cisco is singing loudly enough for all of them.
  5. Kara and Barry make snowmen a la Calvin and Hobbes.    This is the set they build in front of Winn’s apartment.  (“WE CAN’T ALL FLY TO WORK.”)
  6. They totally do the Santa thing on Christmas Eve.  Kara’s Santa (Barry’s trim, but even he doesn’t trust speeding down a chimney), Barry’s just there to stop by and partake in some cookies and milk.  They don’t want to spook parents so they drop off a signed picture of themselves (Just us!  – xoxox from Supergirl & Flash) and a gift for each stocking they see.  They got a super awesome last minute deal on overstock teddy bears.  (Probably didn’t hurt that they bought them in costume the day before Christmas Eve.)
  7. They find a local farm with actual freakin’ reindeer.  You can buy carrots to feed said reindeer.  Kara and Barry blow their dinner budget replenishing their feed stock because omg BARRY look “I know I know here scoot closer we can get a selfie with it.”  And no one believes them until they show off the reindeer selfie, complete with a reindeer nose right in the camera and a laughing Kara and Barry just visible in the edges of the frame.
  8. Sleigh rides are fun, but has Supergirl ever offered to take you for a flight?  It’s awesome.
  9. Kara and Barry are up till three in the morning on Christmas day and are still the first ones up (at four forty-five, naturally) basically banging pots and pans because “GUYS SANTA CAME.”
  10. One word: cuddlebugs.