It’s something you were forced to put up with when it came to dating Calum. It came with many downsides that put you in a very complex situation. Along with fan hate was the distant that was between you guys almost most of the years you two have been together. Then there’s the jealousy that consumes you every time you see millions of fans at meet-and-greets go to kiss your very boyfriend on his chubby cheeks.
You thought you could handle it, as you have been able to for a fair couple of years. But, on the flight to Australia to see the Hoods, you couldn’t help but feel like your tolerance was reaching its limit. It made you uneasy, twiddling your thumbs anxiously as you tried to listen to some music. But listening to Attention by the Weeknd gave your tongue a bit of distaste.
How selfish were you? Your very own mind spat at you as you studied the screen in front of you. But you couldn’t pay attention to the action film in front of you as the image of Calum being kissed by all these fans was taunting you.
It was cruel of you. You were already fortunate enough to date the amazing bass player. He loved you differently from the fans, the boys, and his family. You were the girl he chose from the crowd, the only girl that managed to illuminate his life with one simple smile. Your personality stood out from them all, having you become Calum’s girl.
But that was the beginning of everything.
Time has passed, and the attention he used to give you has been slipping away slowly. And you understood as he was a rockstar pursuing his dreams. But it began to hurt. He’d only call you once a week and text you once every 3 days. It was like he was becoming bored of you. Could that even be a possibility? Perhaps.
But even so… you looked down at the plane ticket he paid for. First class ticket to Sydney, where you’ll be picked up by Mali and taken to the house of the Hoods. The boys are on break, so Calum wanted to finally spend time with you. Just like you two planned.
But your paranoia was still getting the best of you as your tolerance is on the edge.
“Y/N, you’ve had that gloomy face since I picked you up,” Mali said, glancing at you slightly as her hands firmly held the car wheel. You give her a sheepish smile as you attempted to lift your mood. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, of course,” you gave Mali a reassuring smile as you picked at your nails. “It was a long flight, and travelling through timezones is exhausting as hell.” You faked a yawn, even though you really were tired. Mali giggled, nodding as she put her eyes completely back on the road. Your smile quickly fell back down to a frown as you studied your hands.
Within minutes, Mali was parking at their driveway as you grabbed your bag firmly. Once she parked, you calmly left the car and let out a sigh. Just smile and be happy that you’re finally spending time with him, you thought. It used to be so easy. What’s going on?
“He’s literally gonna cry when he sees you,” Mali gushes as she locks her car and takes out her house keys. Walking over to the front door, you watch her open the door and let you in. “Calum, I got her!” She yells, having you giggle as you came inside and went to greet Calum’s mother.
“Y/N! How are you, dear?” Joy contently greeted you, having her arms open up just for you. Entering them, you give Joy a firm hug and a kiss on the cheek. She was practically like a second mother for you, considering how sweet she’s always been to you. You always felt at home around her, like you’re her very own daughter as well.
“I’m incredible, Joy, how have you been?” You ask happily as you two held each others arms. She was practically radiating from the sight of you.
“Happier now that you’re here as well!” Joy said with sincerity. “It’s always good to have my boy and his amazing girlfriend over for a bit. I always feel the love between you two.” You smiled. but you couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. The love between you and Calum feels like it’s faltering just a bit as time goes.
“Y/N!” Calum cheered as he ran into the kitchen and grabbed you from Joy. He gave you a big hug, making you squeal from the sudden grasp. You wrapped your arms around him as well, feeling your heart race from the contact. “I missed you…” he whispered in your ear, feeling your cheeks heat up as you nodded gently.
“I missed you as well,” you whispered in return, having him hug you tighter. Although this moment felt as though your relationship was weaving itself back together, the next day had your doubt come back.
“Calum? D’you wanna go to the movies?” You asked quietly as you awkwardly stood in the doorway of your shared bedroom. Calum was laying down on his bed, his chocolate eyes glued onto his phone. He was looking through tweets since the both of you have woken up, not even giving you a morning kiss. “Calum?”
“How about a picnic to the park?” You suggested with a small smile. “I can ask Joy to make us a basket and we can walk over to your favorite park. You can bring your guitar, too. Maybe write a bit of music?”
“Calum…” you said quietly, your hope slipping away as he put his phone down and gave you an agitated look.
“Can’t you see I’m busy, Y/N?” Calum lashed at you. “These tweets aren’t gonna answer themselves you know.” You simply blinked, unable to comprehend what just happened. He put the fans before you. This hasn’t been the first time, and you understood that he loves his fans and has to attend to them. But you haven’t seen this boy in seven months while he’s been all over the world with millions of fans screaming his name.
You’ve reached the limit.
“Alright,” you said, swallowing harshly before you began packing up your bag. As you were finishing up, Calum finally noticed and put his phone down. But you didn’t bother raising your eyes to him.
“Y/N, what’re you doing?” Calum asked, acting as though he’s done nothing. You stand up once more with your bag now hanging from your body. Weaving your hair back, you turned your back to him and began walking out the room. “Y/N! Come back– where are you going?”
“To the airport,” you say as you rush yourself down the stairs. Calum quickly followed, catching up to you. His calloused hand caught your shoulder and turned you around. Finally catching your eyes, he noticed them coated with tears and flinched.
“The airport? Y/N, what’s going on?” Calum asked, his almond eyes filling themselves up with worry. You looked into them and felt tears slipping out of your eyes. Biting your bottom lip, you let out a ragged sigh and gulp down your anxiety.
“I’m going home, Calum,” you mutter, sniffling a bit as your emotions were taking you aback. Calum quickly grabbed your soft hands, giving you a scared look as he held you.
“Wh-what are you talking about? Baby, you are home…”
“You’re no longer my home…” you whispered painfully as you gave his hands a light squeeze. “We’re done, Calum. I’m done being stuck in second place.” How selfish, how greedy. “I’m sorry.”
“Y/N, no, no no no,” Calum began, his voice becoming shaky. He tightened his grip on your hands as you felt him tremble. “Y/N, you’re my girl. You’re my whole world, space, stars– everything. Second place to what, baby? You’d never be second!”
“I’m intruding into your career now, Calum,” you said quietly. You looked down at your feet, feeling your toes curled in your white converse. “You have to tend to your fans and I guess I understand now that I can’t be in that mixture anymore.” It pained you to see your loved one hurting. But you had to do this, for you and him.
“Y/N, no, please don’t go!” Calum wept, tears finally escaping those eyes you fell in love with. Your hands slipped from his as you quickly fled through the front door and began walking to the street. You quickly got a taxi, slipping inside as Calum placed his hands on the window. “Y/N! Y/N please don’t leave me! Fucking please!”
“I’m sorry,” you said, placing your hands on the window to be in sync with his. You told the taxi driver the airport you wanted to go to as you began to drive away. Calum attempted to chase you down but by 3 blocks, he stopped and fell to the floor.
You watched as the man you loved pounded the concrete floor in pain.
3 months later…
“This way, Y/N,” the doorman greeted as you walked into the 5SOS pad. Your eyes kept shifting from the many dancing guests in the home. Thanking the doorman, you held your strapless purse with both hands while walking around. You were hoping to see the boys and Michael to give him his birthday gift and flee immediately.
It’s only been 3 months, but its felt like a year since you’ve seen your favorite Maori boy. After breaking his heart (and yours in the process), you haven’t been able to even try becoming friends with him. He pleaded for you to return to be his girl, and as much as you wanted to– you resisted. Your greedy self wanted all his attention that you didn’t deserve. But the way he put you second just broke you into millions of pieces.
Wandering carelessly, you quickly halted when your eyes met the ones with the beautiful almond colors. Your heart was racing when you saw the Maori boy with the chubby cheeks and the short hair. He was dressed in a suit, but still had a pair of converse on. He was never one to get completely dressed up, you thought.
“Y/N…” Calum mumbled, his voice slightly raspy. His eyes were slightly puffy and pink, like he’s been crying for a while. Was that because of me? You didn’t want to believe it, but that was probably the case. “Look at you…” he was awestruck by your appearance, having a few tears begin to well up in his eyes.
“Shit!” You heard Ashton exclaim as he rushed to Calum’s side. Ashton gave you a smile, having you give him a sheepish wave before he began taking Calum away. But as he was, Calum kept shouting your name.
“Y/N!” Luke and Michael greeted, giving you a big hug as you smiled at them. You were happy to see the boys, even though the sight of heartbroken Calum was swelling your heart. The boys then looped their arms around yours and guided you outside to the pool with haste.
“Guys?” You asked them as they rushed you outside. You were introduced to the night once more as you looked at Muke stand with concern. They were both dressed up nicely, with the birthday boy wearing a cute little crown. “Why are we out here?”
“Y/N, do you love Calum?” Luke asked, giving you a serious look with his blue eyes as icy as ever. You gulped, looking at him before looking at Michael. The pair of green eyes was giving you the same stare, one that made your legs feel like jelly.
“Of course I do…” You said with a sigh. Your gaze dropped down to the tiles, studying their form as you tightened your fists. “But, out of love, I had to let him go. I’m such a selfish girl, I want him solely to myself. But he has fans and I was tired of sharing… of being second.”
“Y/N, he’d never put you second,” Michael began, clearing his throat. “Calum has been focused on the fans lately, I give you that. But he has to because they are the reasons we’re here living our dreams. He loves them, Y/N.” Your fists only got tighter from hearing that, making you attempt to gulp down your tears.
“But the way he loves you is so much different,” Luke says. “You are his muse, Y/N. You are the reason he wakes up and goes to sleep soundly. You are the inspiration for the words he writes and the songs he sings. You are his music, his escape.” Your firsts were hurting from how much you’ve been grasping at nothing. “Don’t you see? You’re his–”
“Calum!” You heard Ashton shout as the sliding doors opened. You looked up to see Calum run to you. Quickly, he grabbed you in his arms and planted his face in the crook of your neck. Tears began to ornate your neck as Calum wept on you.
“My world, my sun, my moon, my reason to live,” Calum muttered, holding you as if someone was gonna take you from him. “Let me come home, Y/N. Please let me back home…” his fingers began digging lightly into your skin, having him grab a bit of your clothing.
Your hands loosened, having them hang as you were stunned. The boy you’ve loved for years, who you broke, was holding you in his arms. You didn’t deserve it, and you know you didn’t. But Calum wanted you. He wanted you more than anything at that very moment and every second after. Sighing, you smile weakly before wrapping your arms around the Maori boy.
“Welcome home,” you whispered as you gave one of his cheeks a small kiss.