Set in the 40’s. Y/N was your stereotypical girl next door, growing up in the apartment right across the hall from James Buchanan Barnes. She had always been the shy, reserved girl; she was the complete opposite of the enigmatic ladies man. Despite their proximity, she was sure that he didn’t even know she existed. What happens when they run into one another during a night out on the town? Is just one night all it really takes?
Word Count: 3,408
Warnings: swearing, smut
You sighed, adjusting your dress as you gazed into the mirror. Even though it was still rather conservative, you couldn’t help but notice that it was more revealing than you were used to. The neckline plunged rather low, the collar fastened with a bow that drew attention to your cleavage. The waist was cinched, showing off your figure. Paired with the red heels that your friends had chosen for you, you were looking like a regular bombshell. Your friends had insisted that you go out with them tonight. You had turned them down too many times. They said that now, of all days, you had to accompany them. The newest army recruits would be shipping out tomorrow, and it was sure to be a lively night.
The apartment is dark, lights dimmed so you can set the mood for what you expect to be an emotional performance. Your laptop is plugged into the television and the screen is flickering, splashing colors across your face from a product commercial. Harry is across the world, about to premiere a song from his upcoming album on a popular talk show. Despite how excited you are to hear the music, you’re still nervous for him, as you always are. There’s no doubt in your mind that he’ll smash whatever he performs, but he always seems to get in his own way.
Everyone has their own methods, but I thought beginners would be interested in trying to use mine.
Five steps to begin your journey
Relax. Calm your breath, calm your heart, calm your thoughts. You don’t need to have a blank mind, you just need to have the same mental activity as if you were bored during a long car travel. You know when you start to see what you imagine in flashes? When you read a book and see the scene? Like that.
Now take a random image in your mind. Can you keep it in front of your eyes? How long does it stay? How well do you remember it? Once you feel like you can keep the image and play with it as if you were playing a VR game, you can go on.
I need you to visualize the easiest way for you to enter the astral plane. My favorite way is to imagine a door with many details and to implant my intention in it by imagining words/sigils etc being engraved in it. Doesn’t have to be specific, or to be an intention at all. Then, I open it and there is a world in front of me (see next step).
OR there are also other ways. I also like to take a music and use it to build my environment, or to imagine my palm being pressed against the bark of a tree/wall. I’ve heard people imagining walking through mirrors, jumping in a hole, and even using pop culture items like the Star Gate or a Tardis. It’s your mind, you do what you want with it.
Once you have the “world” in front of you, I want you to focus on your other senses. You don’t have to, you can use your eyes only, but you’ll have more troubles maintaining your concentration. Focus on whichever sense feels dominant other than your sight. For me, it’s touch, thus I focus on how my astral body feels. Is the weather warm? Is the ground grass or marble?
For other people, it can be hearing or scenting etc. Some might even have a dominant sense that is not sight! Usually, the sense that manifests the more in your dreams is your dominant one. Raise your awareness sense after sense, in the other that feels more natural.
Once you feel your new world, you can begin to explore it! You might want to visualize a barrier/ward and to draw sigils for protection and invisibility on your astral (and physical) body before you do, just to be sure.
I will cover how to build your own astral “house” (which can be used as a mental palace, a meditation area, a temple, a resort area etc) and what dangers you can encounter in there, how to protect yourself, and what you can do in a general way in parts 2 and 3.
Gripping the straps of your backpack, you wearily stared at the stony underpass littered with weeds, branches and scattered leaves; wondering if passing through the entrance and walking inside the forest filled with trees and who knew what else was on the other side would be worth it. You wondered if walking for ten miles up a mountain would in any way be okay as you glanced towards the chipped and tattered wooden sign that indicated how long and what to beware of for the hike that would soon ensue, but it wasn’t like you had a choice of turning back now.
You were then pushed into the other side of the underpass, stumbling slightly before blinking as you watched the boys laughing while someone patted your back softly. “Lighten up,” you heard Hoseok say, walking passed you before eyeing you over his shoulder, “it’s going to be amazing!”
Gulping, you turned behind you to see the parking lot void of any life as your cars settled side by side, completely empty as you all carried your needed necessities inside your packs. You were told that the trip was going to be fun, that the mountain you were supposed to be residing in was one of the most beautiful ones in the country, but somehow, something was eating at your brain as you felt a strange feeling prickling in the darkest pits of your stomach; that once you were off the mountain..
Harry was making several attempts to contact you. He called, text, even sent flowers to both the house and your work but he never did attempt to come by the house. The house was beginning to feel so empty and the largeness of it seemed to be haunting you. This was the house the two of you had bought together, the place you had every intention of raising a family in but instead Harry was off starting a family with someone else. You were staring to consider selling it or moving out and letting Harry take it.
You kept waiting for it to appear in the news, that Harry Styles got a girl pregnant, a girl that wasn’t the girl he had been with for the last 4 years. Everyone knew of your relationship, pretty much everyone loved the two of you together and thankfully the breakup had stayed private and out of the media so far but you knew it was only a matter of time especially when everyone found out about the baby.
It was late one night, you had been curled up on the couch watching some chick flick, attempting to take your mind off of everything. It was storming outside, the sound of the steady rain and occasional thunder was also helping calm your mind but your heart gave a jump and you sat up quickly on the couch when there was a loud knock on the front door.
You take small cautious steps towards the front door, it was almost 11 at night. Who would be coming at a time like this? An axe murderer, that was one. But when you peaked out the window beside the door you saw a familiar figure stood in the dull light of the porch light. You yanked open the door and came face to face with Harry Styles for the first time in weeks.
“Harry,” You whisper, taking in the sight of him. His black shirt and jeans were soaked, his hair falling in wet tendrils down his forehead. You took note that clearly the wetness of his cheeks was not just from the rain as his eyes were red and puffy. He also had facial hair, clearly not having shaved in a week or two.
“I need you.” His voice was a raspy plea. This was the voice of a truly broken man and it instantly brought tears to your eyes. You open your mouth to say you couldn’t do it when he cut you off. “I know I have no righ’ to ask for you to help me but please, I can’ do this anymore. I can’ live a life you aren’ in. Just hear me out for a second, alrigh’?” You sigh and find yourself stepping back to allow him to enter.
“Let me get you a towel and dry clothes.” As Harry had never returned for his things, his clothes still took up his half of the closet. You had debated getting rid of them but those colorful silken shirts, the vibrant patterned pants and all of the boots lining the bottom of the closet felt like home and you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You reach for his grey sweatshirt and a pair of black basketball shorts. After grabbing a towel from the linen closet in the bathroom you head back out to him, handing them to him.
“Thank you.” He whispers as he takes them, giving you a weak smile but his eyes were still watery and red. You just gave a nod and looked away before he exited the room, heading for the guest bathroom down the hall. You sat down on the couch, sitting anxiously on the edge of the cushion as you waited for his return. Your mind was racing. What would he say? What would you say?
Once he returned, he placed his wet clothes and the towel on the floor beside the couch and then took a seat beside you. You tried not to note how close he was but his presence, that familiarity of his body heat, sent your heart into a rapid race and caused your breath to hitch in your throat. The two of you sat in silence for what felt like an eternity.
“So, what is it?” You finally ask, your voice low but in the quietness of the large house, you having flipped off the TV while you waited for him to return, made it sound as if you were yelling.
“I have to go to Los Angeles tomorrow to mee’ with her and our lawyers.” He explained, his voice low as he looked down as his tangled hands. “We are goin’ to figure ou’ wha’ we are goin’ to do.”
“So what do you need me for then? I’m not part of this.” And you couldn’t be. That was why you made him leave, after all.
“You can’ come with me? Maybe as moral support?” You can’t help but give a laugh but you stop almost immediately when he looks over at you with watery eyes.
“Harry, I’m sorry, but I can’t. You think I can just fly to LA with you and sit across from that woman as if I’m not totally imagining you fucking her? I’m sorry but no.” You shake your head, willing yourself to stand firm on this but his bottom lip begins to give a quiver and he hangs his head again. “Harry, please,” You reach out, resting your hand on his shoulder. “I can’t.”
“I can’ either.” He whispers, his breathing giving a raspy gasp as he tried to catch his breath and will the sobs not to come. As he hung his head, you saw the tears drip down, disappearing into the carpet below as he leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees.
“I know that this is hard, Harry, but what you’re asking of me…” You trail off, giving a small shake of your head as you move your hand off of his shoulder, tangling your fingers together in your lap to stop yourself from reaching out for his hand like you so desperately wanted to.
“I know, I know I shouldn’ be and I’ve debated coming here to ask because I know how wrong it is.” He shakes his head, giving a sigh and looks up at you. The way his green eyes shined with tears, that furrow in his brow, the creases on his forehead, it killed you and hurt you so badly. “You’ve always been the one tha’ was there to help me through anythin’ and this is the hardest and scariest thing I’ve ever gone through and I don’ know if I can do it withou’ you.”
“You’re asking me to support you while another woman has your baby, Harry. I told you to leave, I broke up with you, because I couldn’t be a part of that, I can’t be.”
“I’m not askin’ you to get back together, love, I’m jus’ asking for you to help me while her and I sort everythin’ out. I jus’ need you to hold me togethe’ for jus’ a little while until it all sinks in. And not as my girlfriend, if tha’s not what you wan’, I get that. As my friend, though, you were my friend firs’, can we not go back to that jus’ while I handle this?” You bring your bottom lip in between your teeth as you look over at him, his eyes pleading. “I need you.” He whispers, just as he had minutes before when you opened the door to him.
“Okay,” You eventually breathed out, not letting yourself over think this. Harry was right, you had been best friends before you dated, you could support him in that way. Or at least you would try. His face finally creeps into a small smile, the first smile he’d had in weeks. He was so grateful for you and that you were willing to do this for him.
So, after talking over flight details Harry left and you curled up in your large and empty bed and cried yourself to sleep, afraid of what you had gotten yourself in to.
The next day, the plane ride was silent and awkward. Neither of you knew what waited in Los Angeles and just being close to each other again was hard enough. You regretted deeply agreeing to do this but it was too late now.
“If I end up not being able to handle this, I’m going to leave. I can’t torture myself like this, not even for you.” You tell him as the two of you enter his Los Angeles home. He had already had this place before the two of you moved in and you didn’t spend much time here as you preferred London but it was still like a home to you but now it felt foreign.
“I understand.” Harry tells you, giving you a weak smile. He still couldn’t believe that you actually came with him. He figured he would have to beg more, plead with you, basically all but drag you to the airport but here you were. He loved you so much in that moment, amazed that even after he hurt you so badly, you still supported him and cared for him enough to do this.
“Wait,” You say, halting in the hallway outside of the master bedroom. Harry’s chest hits your back, having not been able to stop in time with your abrupt stop. “Was it here? Was it here that you…?” You trail off, unable to get the words out as you picture her, rolling around in the sheets of your bed. You turn and look up at him, seeing his furrowed brows as he puts together what you were asking. You hadn’t even thought of that when you agreed to come. You should have gotten a hotel.
“No, of course not. It was at her house.” He explains and a sense of relief washes over you. “I’ll take the guest room, you can have our… I mean my… room.” His voice drops off after realizing his mistake.
“I don’t think I can sleep in there.” You whisper, looking up at him. It was hard enough sleeping in the once shared bed in London, but this room, this bedroom was the place where the two of you had first slept together, the place that had solidified your love for him. Another reason it probably would have killed you to know she had been in that bed. Harry drops yours and his bags that he was carrying as your eyes filled with tears and he pulled you into his arms.
“I’m so sorry. I can’ say sorry enough.” You allow yourself to curl against him, burying your face in his chest as you began to cry freely. You had spent so much time trying to not cry over the last few weeks and now here it all was coming out and you weren’t sure you were able to stop. “Come on.” Harry pulls back to take your hand and leads you down the hall to the guest bedroom. “You should res’ for a bit.”
“Stay with me.” You whisper, reaching out for his hand after he’s guided you onto the bed. He was about to leave the room but just as he needed your comfort, you also needed his.
“Are you sure?” He questions, frowning down at you. He wanted nothing more than to curl up right there in bed with you and hold you close again but he knew how badly he had hurt you, hurt himself even, and didn’t want to make things worse with you.
“Please, Harry.” You all but beg, still gripping at his hand. Your eyes were filled with tears and you knew they had just begun. Harry stares at you, his own green eyes watery, and then gave a nod. He laid slowly down beside you, letting you decide how the two of you would lay together. You grab his arm, tugging it around you as you fold against his side. He has to resist the urge to kiss the top of your head and instead leans back into the pillows as his hand brushes against your arm, trailing across your soft skin.
“Love?” Harry soon questions as he realizes you were in a full on cry in that moment. He felt the wetness on his t-shirt and had felt the shake in your shoulders. As soon as he spoke a sob fell from your lips. “Talk to me, sweetheart.” He tried to pull back to get you to look at him but you took a handful of his shirt in your fists and make him stay where he was.
“I had so many plans for us,” You finally gasp out. “I had pictured our wedding, where we would go for our honeymoon, what kind of dress I wanted, and then even what we would name our children.” You were speaking so fast. Now that the dam had been broken, it seemed you were going to let everything out. Your chest ached, your throat already raw from the sobs. “I wanted to marry you, I wanted to start a family with you.”
“I know, I know, love,” Harry whispers, unable to get his voice any louder. He looks up at the ceiling as the tears leak from his eyes. He takes a deep breath, trying to stay strong and keep it together. He had broken so many times around you lately, it was time for him to take care of you. “I wanted to marry you, too. I’d planned how I was going to ask.” He whispered that last bit as quietly as possible but he knew you had heard when your breath hitched in your throat and you sat up, glaring down at him.
“Don’t,” You spit at him. “Don’t say shit like that. If you really wanted to marry me, if you wanted a life with me, then no matter what kind of fight we had gotten into you wouldn’t have gone to someone else.”
“I messed up, love, but tha’ doesn’ mean I don’ love you or don’ want a life with you.” He argued but you shook your head and rolled away from him. You sat on the other side of the bed as he too sat up, facing you. “I will fight for you, for us, for the res’ of my life. I promise you. I can’ give up on us. I made a mistake, I know, but you are the only one I want a life with.” You can’t help but roll your eyes as you bring your hand up, wiping at your wet cheeks.
“Harry, there is no us to fight for anymore. I will never be able to forgive you, I’ve already told you that. You have someone else to fight for now, you have a child to take care of, that’s what you should be focusing on.” Harry just didn’t know what to say, how to express his regret, his hatred towards himself, and how much he longed for you to forgive him. But he understood. He knew he would probably never forgive you if the situation was reversed but he knew he would at least try.
“I don’ know what to do,” He whispers, his hands pressing into his face. He falls back on the pillows and sighs. Thankfully the tears stayed away. “I can’t raise a child. I’m goin’ to be a shit father.” You sigh and move next to him, pulling a hand from his face so he looks at you.
“You are going to be an amazing father, Harry, don’t doubt yourself. You’re amazing with kids.” And he was, that was why you wanted a family with him one day. He was the most amazing man and would be the most amazing father, you knew that and had no doubts. “No matter the circumstances behind how they came into this world, you are going to love and take care of that child and they will love you so much.” That’s when the tears came back for Harry. He sighs, closing his eyes and turns to bury his face in the pillow beside him. “Do you want to raise the baby with … her .. or .. what is the plan?”
“I don’ know,” Came his muffled response. “Tha’s what the meetin’ tomorrow is, to talk about options.” He had turned to look at you as he continues speaking so you give a nod, biting at your lower lip.
“Do you.. do you think you’ll try being with her? Like .. as a family?” You had pictured it, Harry, his child and this mystery woman happy, smiling, laughing together. It killed you inside as it was always you in her place when you imagined it in the past.
“I don’ want a family with anyone but you.” Harry sits up, having clearly picking up on what you were imagining right now so he pulls you into his arms and kisses the side of your head. “Firs’ thing we’ll do is make sure I’m the father and then go from there.” He explains as you rest your head against his chest.
“Do you want to be the father?” You whisper as you listen to his heartbeat under your ear.
“No,” He mutters back almost immediately. “Bu’ if I am… I’m going to do the righ’ thing and try to raise him or her. I won’ let someone else do it for me. It’s my child and I need to take responsibility.” You lift your head and look up at him, a small smile on your face.
“And no matter how scared you are, you will do it amazingly and that child will love you so much.” He gives a watery smile, one solitary tear falling down his face before he nods. “Does she want the baby?”
“We haven’ talked about it. That’s what the meetin’ tomorrow is for.” He explains with a sigh. “I don’ want to see her..”
“And you think I do?” You meant it as a joke but it came out with a touch of malice and you regretted it when you saw that hurt look on his face. “Did she know? About me?”
“Yes,” He whispers. “I’d gone to a bar after our really bad figh’, drank too much and told her everythin’. I wasn’ thinking clearly and it just.. happened.” He tells you. It pained you so much to hear this but you knew you had to. “I didn’ tell you when I came home and we worked everythin’ out because I was so scared of losin’ you. I knew I would tell you one day bu’… I got home and you were so happy and I couldn’t bare to be the one to make you cry.”
You couldn’t say anything, nothing that you hadn’t said before about the situation. You couldn’t, wouldn’t, forgive him and that you stood firm on. You came to Los Angeles with him as moral support in a friendly sense, and nothing more.
“Does she know you and I broke up?” You wondered then, thinking that maybe if she knew, or when she found out, she would try to get with Harry. You didn’t like imagining it.
“I haven’ spoken to her since she called and told me. I contacted my lawyer the day afte’ you and I … afte’ I left, and he contacted hers. We’ve gone through them eve’ since.” You nod, feeling a bit better at the idea that he wasn’t in contact with her. You couldn’t stand the thought of picturing them talking about baby names or what gender they hoped it was. “Are we ever going to be okay again?” He spoke these words so quietly after a few minutes of silence, neither of you having looked at each other.
“I don’t think so, Harry.” You tell him softly, looking over at him. As he hangs his head and begins to cry again, you stand from the bed. “I can’t, I’m sorry.” You were letting the tears fall again as well.
“Y/N…” He whispers after you but you were already out of the room. After locking yourself in the bathroom down the hall, you slid down the hard wood door, your face in your hands as you truly began to cry. Harry didn’t move from the bed, he curled himself into the pillow beside him and cried just as he had been doing the last few weeks. He should be all cried out by now but somehow.. somehow there always seemed to be more.
Summary: When Hollywood’s heartthrob Bucky Barnes breaks up with his girlfriend, you jokingly tag him in a selfie on Instagram to express your desire to date him. What you don’t expect is a response from the man himself [Modern AU].
A/N: Holy fuck I’m sorry. I haven’t written smut in a while so please go easy on me :’) Enjoy~
His hips roll into yours with purpose, letting his hand, that was not gripping your waist in a vice hold, roughly roam your body as he pleased. His mouth sloppily worked at your throat, sucking and nipping with such primal lust that you thought for sure you would burst right at that very moment.
His lips reached the underside of your jaw and that’s where he stayed, bringing his hand to replace the previous sweet spot. His fingers curled around your throat and you felt the thin and utterly sinful smirk press against your ear. He lightly nips at your earlobe and you shudder as the goosebumps snake down your spine right to your core.
His chuckle rings through the dark room, “You’re being such a good girl tonight… I’ve even considered rewarding you.” He says thoughtfully.
It’s said that time heals all wounds, but that isn’t exactly true and
sometimes band-aids are all you have. You catch your boyfriend cheating
on you and Jimin is more than willing to help you forget him.
a/n: inspired by the drama suspicious partner, check it out if you haven’t already!
The sound of the television was all that could be heard around your apartment, resonating off the walls and back into your ears. Your breath came in steady as you watched the show that was playing, and your eyes scanned as it cut to commercial. A smile came over your face as you recognized the commercial to a new drama that was going to be released, the one your boyfriend had been filming for the past couple of months.
You hadn’t seen any commercials before this, so you were excited to see what it was finally about. Despite dating Taehyung, and knowing he was doing the show, he never told you a single thing about it. He had said he wanted to keep it a surprise so that you could see it for yourself. The first thing you noticed about the advertisement was the girl on screen, and how close she and Taehyung were.
The two looked like they were happy to see each other, and then the scene flipped to Taehyung walking down the street alone, the words of somebody’s name being said in his deep voice. You couldn’t tell what the show was about yet but you had an implication of what you were going to be seeing. The commercial ended with the name of the drama, and you blinked slowly.
“Where is my dress?!” you yelled, stomping around your room, throwing all the clothes out of your closet, searching for the dress you bought for the prom night.
Once you finally found it, you placed it gently on the bed as it was the most precious crystal you were holding.
“Ready ,kid?” you heard Natasha ask as she entered your room, but you didn’t move your worried gaze away from the dress.
“Do you think it looks good on me?” you asked, your voice barely audible.
Natasha smiled softly at you and walked towards you.
“You’ll be the most beautiful girl there, trust me. Now let me help you put this dress on” Natasha convinced you.
You didn’t really believe what she said, in moments like this you were overly self conscious. Stupid classmates had their “fun” time bullying you… But you tried your best to ignore them and not influence and poison your thoughts, especially not when you were around the God of Mischief.
Description: You didn’t want to raise up your expectations, but Jungkook was making it hard for you.
Word Count: 6418
WARNING/S: graphic SMUT
Genre: i’ll leave it up to you ;)
Note: i have nothing to say. Enjoy!
Looking back on your past, your life has never been anything out of the ordinary. Although your parents had left you on one mysterious night, leaving you little to no explanations, you live out the rest of your years residing in a new town under the custody of your aunt. That is, until you return to your hometown to investigate the whereabouts of your parents during your senior year in high school. It was that fateful decision that led you to find a boy collapsed on your front porch one night, wounds gaping and life fading when your entire life is spun out of control. Somehow being dragged into a life of crimes in the underground business of his, you discover the twisted secrets hidden behind the world you thought you had known all along.