If beauty, as a human construct and judged by human perception (and humans all perceive things differently), is relative, so’s modesty. Since modesty is a human-created or human-defined concept too.
Yes, even religiously-influenced modesty. It’s no different, really. For some people, wearing a t-shirt and jeans is modest. For others, wearing skirts that go below the knee with a long sleeved blouse and small neckline. And yet others, it’s not modest unless it covers the ankle, wrist, and/or neck. For some, even hands (gloves!)
Yes I know I’m talking about modesty to do with women, but that’s how it’s most often brought up. And actually, let me go beyond: there’s a perception that pretending something amazing about you isn’t really. As in, to demean yourself. Personally, it just builds up a culture where people’s insecurities are admired. You might say that the person “doesn’t really believe they’re horrible” etc. but well, if you keep saying a thing, eventually you believe it. But now I’m going off topic. Back to modesty.
I believe a person can be both modest and confident, at the same time, and it doesn’t entail making themselves sound not as good as they are. Modest requires the absence of arrogance. Arrogant people aren’t necessarily confident, just arrogant and think they’re the best. Arrogant people also have a tendency to actually really be insecure.
Confidence means knowing you’re awesome in some things (and not in others, and that it’s okay too, because you can’t be perfect!) It also recognises that there’s people who may be better. And that it doesn’t make you any less bad. As does modesty, really. Modesty as a concept, anyway.
And how people view this concept changes from person to person. Because it’s a human construct.
Also on modesty, and the supposed lack of: people talking about their anatomy isn’t immodest. Not really. If someone talks about their breasts or its size or their bras and the various issues that come with bras, and with breasts, and so on, they’re talking about something matter-of-factly because it’s a thing that exists and if not their problem if other people take it immodestly. Personally, if someone’s talking about themselves without any sexual intent (or even so, how are you supposed to be able to know people’s intentions? You can’t) and person 2 has sexual thoughts related to it…it’s not the first person who’s vulgar, but the second. And it’s not the first person being immodest, but the second. And if the first person’s being shamed for the second person’s immodesty then well, that’s ridiculous.
And this started off in on one point and drifted off elsewhere. Ah well.
I'm going to try to ask you this without complimenting you. How are you so intelligent? What do you read and how often? What is your major? How do you find discipline? What do you do on your free time? Sorry for bombardingyou with questions. =X
Wanted to keep this in my askbox so I could grin at it like an idiot but since these are meant to be questions and not compliments I’m obliged to answer. Nonetheless, I’m honoured you consider me worthy of the sentiment haha, when I’m just a simple girl on the internet who should currently be packing utensils. Long story.
I don’t think I’m particularly intelligent in that I’ve met many, many people I’ve found to be far more intelligent. All I can say is that everything I have learned is due to the circumstances of the environment I’ve been in and the people I’ve learned from, and the grace of Allah. I have yet much to learn.
Reading- non fiction? That err, I don’t know, haven’t thought about it, but I spend a fair amount of time reading articles and books I find…but not enough. Fiction… I realized a while ago I hadn’t cracked a book for two months (reading block… like writer’s block, but different), then found a copy of My Sister’s Keeper in my hands (again) and finished it in a day and a half. And it’s very likely I’ll find myself in a library soon sometime this week.
When I have books and read often, it’s generally a book in less than three days or one for a while, depending on the book and the content and how fast paced it is.
I don’t have a major, and when I apply it will most likely be as Undecided. Currently a senior in high school.
Don’t know how to answer the next question since I’m not sure what I’ve done to make discipline seem like one of my qualities. O_o In fact, I can think of a lot of areas of my life where I have lacked discipline and control over my impulses. Like how I should not be on the internet right now, and packing utensils.
Ah. Free time. I’ve heard about that. (-Tamora Piece)
I usually keep myself occupied in some way. I suppose you could say I Tumble, and read, and talk to people I like talking to and take time off by going on long walks were I can be alone and not bothered and not around people. But there is never *not* work to do, or projects of my own I start, or something. Just have to take breaks in between sometimes I suppose.
You do not have to apologize for the questions, and I’m sorry it’s a long answer, actually.
What's the happiest moment in your life? Or, if that's too difficult, the first one that comes to mind.
a couple spring immediately to mind: the time i was able to give my mother a hug and hear her say ‘i love you too, josh’ after being told, first, that she probably wouldn’t live, and second, that if she did she’d probably never remember any of us. and then the moment i saw jasmine during our first trip to Marrakech together; we’d flown separately, agreed to meet in a certain spot, and then people got lost and i ended up not knowing where she was or if she was okay and when she opened that hostel door i swear i could’ve (should’ve?) married her right there.
but i have a lot of very, very happy moments that i’m immensely grateful for in my life.
OK, you are about to embark on a beautiful ship w/o internet access. What 5 books do you take along?
I have so many books that are sitting on my bookshelf that I haven’t read. Like, 20.
So I would probably take the Qur'an (with translation and Tajweed) and 4 books that I’ve been meaning to read for leisure. So right now, that would be Ghost Wars, Confront and Conceal, Orientalism and No god but God.
On a more serious note, you seem to have a passion for politics. How did you discover this passion, and how do you continue to develop it?
When I was little, I hated the news. A lot. Actually, here’s a story: there was a time we were at dinner and I wanted my mother to change the channel from the news to some cartoon. She gave me The Look and refused. When I threw a temper tantrum of sorts, she put the TV on ‘standby’ from the remote, a feature that I haven’t seen in any of the newer TVs, but anyway, I got annoyed, marched up to the TV, and clicked on the button, and went back to my chair.
It turned off. I’d expected that she’d turned off the TV, and clicking on it would make it turn on again and look I was so smart, but nope. Haha. I sulked the whole night and she ignored me and I ignored her but anyway. Okay, I know kids don’t like the news or politics and don’t care but I just wanted to tell the story.
Um. I honestly don’t know. I wasn’t very politikal until like last year, actually, even if you just scroll through the archives you can see a gradual change from last year. Mostly there’s just been a lot of learning, I’ve always been curious, and I hate not knowing things in the way that it’s simply never been enough to know something, I have to know more. I was once told this mindset would do well for a scientist, but I…. now I’m going to drift off to the science, no, wait, politics! Um. I don’t know. I… just… did? Was in for a bit of a rude awakening, but it came, and there’s always surprises along the way, and I know too many people who’ve gone “politics!” and pursued it for a few weeks or months or whatever and then gotten bored, but it isn’t “politics!” for me that way, but if I live in this world I just want to know what goes on and which politician or corporation is going to make my life miserable. And hopefully make then miserable back? Who knows. Doesn’t telling more people about how horrible they are make their work a bit harder? A wee bit? Even if not, I just like knowing, they don’t get to meddle in my life and that of people I care about without me knowing what they’re doing. That’s all.