okay, so i was at work today and this guy came up to me and was like, ‘sorry if this is really creepy but here’ and he handed me this folded up piece of paper, got all shy and was all, 'you’re probably going to throw it away that’s okay but here i hope you have a good day.’ and he was so bashful about it, like his face went bright red and he walked out the door really fast and was just gone. anyway, i read the note and it was basically him kind of asking me out on a date. it said something like, hey beautiful lady, my name is tony [his last name] you are the most attractive person i’ve seen in the past few years (how many ugly fucking people has this dude been looking at for me to be the most attractive one he’s seen lol) and i would cherish getting to know you or some shit like that. he then said i would love to take you to your favourite restaurant i look forward to meeting you here is my number [his phone number]. i showed my friend mark, who works with me, and we just started laughing and he was all, are you sure your boyfriend is going to like this? like i felt so sorry for this guy because there’s not a chance in hell i’m going to call him because of the fact that i have a boyfriend but yeah. i ended up showing my boyfriend the note and he wasn’t even phased by it tbh. he thought it was cute. and it was, i was flattered but it was also kind of creepy because i have no idea how long this guy was standing around the store, waiting to give me this note. i saw him walk in and i saw him walk out after he bought stuff and it might have been damn near an hour before he walked back in to hand me the note.
i almost feel like giving kirsten this guy’s number so she can call him for me just to see what he says.
but anyway, that was part of my eventful day at work.
You know what’s sad? I can think of three people, only three, that I truly believe will always be there for me. Three people. Of all my friends and the people I’ve known, only three actually give enough of a shit to convince me they care. Not by words, but by what they’ve done for me. Three genuinely wonderful human beings in a bunch of shitty humanity. I hate people. And I hate humanity. But those three people… I’d do almost anything to see them happy.
Kirsten 9:02 pm I saw a girl once, and I was gonna ask her out, but then I realized She’s No You, and I just had to get back to you, so I could see your Beautiful soul. After I did that, I asked you to Get Your Shine On, but you were shy, so I said Take Your Sweet Time. I had a dream one night, and you died in it, and that’s when I realized I could never be Without U, and I was just like “WHY DON’T YOU KISS HER?” I woke up though, and I was all “PHEW! That Was Then” and after that dream, I just wanted you to Come To me. We went out to dinner, and some dude was all “HEY BABY” and I was all What’s Your Name, get away. We got in a fight, and it was awful. So I was like, BECAUSE YOU LIVE, AND BREATHE. We didn’t speak after that, and my heart was broken, so I asked myself Why Is Love So Hard To Find, and why to I say all The Stupid Things I do. The end. BITCH READ IT
i used to tell kirsten that she was crazy because she literally collects and hoards hundreds of bottles of nail polish but now i’m sort of doing the same thing. every time i go to the store, i buy two or three more bottles of polish.