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Miscommunication

This is the complete work of Miscommunication. I’ve just put all the parts together for an easier reading experience. I hope that I haven’t disappointed anyone with the quality of this story and that you enjoy it. If you do, please comment, sometimes that’s the only thing that keeps me writing.

Word Count: 6183

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Namjoon laid his head gently in your lap, just wanting to be near you. It was something he did quite often and you loved it. The way his eyes fluttered shut at the contact and the soft hums he would make while you combed your slim fingers through his hair. The grass you were sat on was slightly dewy, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You were with the man you loved and it was as simple as that.

There was nothing that could come between you, you thought as you relaxed and let the morning sun warm your skin. The two of you were meant to be together. This was how it was supposed to be for the rest of your lives.

When you announced that you were getting married, your friends and family all thought you were rushing into things; that the relationship wouldn’t last. They gave you every excuse: you were too young, you didn’t know what you really wanted, you haven’t even lived life on your own yet, but you didn’t listen. They didn’t know what you were feeling, and you always told yourself that you would make decisions with your heart.

But that was six years ago, and those were simpler times.

You glanced at the clock as you heard the front door creak open: 3:16 A.M. This wasn’t the first night that Namjoon had come home late, but it was the first time he had forgotten to call. It was like an unspoken rule for him to call you if he knew he was going to be out later then he had expected, and it wasn’t like you were going to get mad because of how late he was staying out, it was just so you knew he wasn’t in any trouble. You knew that long hours and late nights were a part of the deal when Namjoon took the job. You were so very proud of him for going after his dream of making music, but you just couldn’t understand why he had to put all of that before you every single time he started working on something new.

Your bedroom was dark, but you could see his silhouette moving through the room. You thought he was coming to give you a sweet kiss on your forehead like he did every night, but he headed straight for the shower instead. You were willing to let the whole ‘forgot to call’ incident go, but when he couldn’t even be bothered to show you the slightest bit of affection, you couldn’t just not say anything.

You crawled out of bed quite calmly, and you opened the door to the bathroom in a similar manner. It’s as if you didn’t have something to say, maybe you just woke up to use the toilet, but as soon as you got a whiff of Namjoon, you had more than just something to say. “Kim Namjoon, where the hell have you been?” If the tone of your voice didn’t scare him, the look on your face sure did the trick.

“Baby, I’m so sorry I forgot to call, but I was working on booking a new artist.”

“I’m pretty sure that whatever artist you’re working with doesn’t wear cheap, red lipstick and glitter. And if they do, I’m sure that they would keep it to themselves instead of sharing it with a married man.” You nearly yelled the last part, but you were doing your best to remain level headed. “Did you forget that you were married?”

“Y/N, I swear I didn’t do anything wrong. Suga wanted to meet at the club on fifth street, and couldn’t say no. I’ve been dying to get a chance to work with him.” His eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head, they were opened so wide, trying to get you to understand.

“I believe you. What I can’t believe is that you couldn’t find the time to call me or shoot me a text. He probably would’ve understood if you had said, ‘Hey, man, I know we’re in the middle of discussing some business, but would you excuse me for, like five minutes, I need to call my wife?’”

“Jesus, Y/N, you act as if I forget to call all the time, or like I missed something important. This was the first time I forgot to call. I’m working my ass off so that we can live comfortably, yet you can’t find it in yourself to trust me. Trust that I’m doing everything with you in mind.”

“I do trust you, but I just get so worried.” You had more to say but before you could finish, Namjoon was cutting you off.

“Worry about someone else.”

Your eyes widened at his comment. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means, when I’m working, I have no obligation to call you and tell you what I’m doing. I’m probably trying to make sure I can buy you whatever you said you wanted last week”

You felt the argument growing into something more than a simple forgotten phone call, so you tried to bring it back down. “You know I don’t need any of that stuff to make me happy.”

“Don’t give me that shit. I’m sleeping at Hoseok’s tonight.”

“Y’know what? Fine. And while you’re at it, how ‘bout you call up whatever skank had her lips all over you tonight. I’m sure you could manage that.”

“For fuck’s sake, Y/N, do you really think that I would do something like that?”

“I don’t know what to think anymore.” You turned and headed back to bed, too tired to say anything else at the moment. You weren’t sure what just happened, but you knew that this problem wasn’t just going to disappear.

                                     ***

You woke up to the sound of your phone buzzing like the world was ending. Taking a second to get your vision settled, you glanced at the screen to see that there were 26 missed calls from Hoseok, along with a message that made your stomach plummet. ‘Namjoon never showed up to mine last night. Did you guys work it out?’

“What the hell?” You asked yourself aloud. You quickly jumped into action as you slid the answer call button for Hoseok’s twenty- seventh call.

“Y/N, I’m gla-,” you cut him off before he could continue.

“What do you mean, Namjoon never showed up?”

“I mean exactly that. He called and said he was on his way over, that you had a fight and he didn’t want to stay there to make things worse.”

“Hoseok, I’m really worried. All he did was forget to call. That’s the worst thing he’s done. I don’t think he’d lie to my face like that.” You were most certainly, losing your shit. If there was one thing you knew about Namjoon, it was that he was an honest man. You had never known him to deceive for his own gain, and you were confident that he wasn’t going to start today. “Hoseok, I’m gonna have to let you go. I’ll call if I figure out where he is.”

“Okay. I hope everything is fine. Please don’t stress out too much, I’m sure he’s just gone to clear his head or something.”

“Thank you for that. I’ll try to stay calm, and I’ll call you later.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

“Bye.” The second you ended the call, you felt an uneasiness settle in your stomach. It was like all the fear that you had in you had all migrated into one uncomfortable ball of queasiness and it only had one way out. You moved as quickly as you could to the bathroom, practically throwing yourself at the toilet, before the vomit could tear its way up your throat. To say that it was uncomfortable would be an understatement; the tears pricked your eyes as the acid burned your throat. You found it hard to believe that this was a normal bodily action, and then remembered that for you, it wasn’t. Throwing up was always so painful for you that whenever you felt the need to when you were sick, you just breathed through it until the feeling passed.

But this was different. After all you could do was dry-heave, you finally stood up off the floor and went to the sink to clean up a bit. You opened the medicine cabinet in search of an antacid, but stopped short when you came across your birth control. It’d been so long since you had taken it that it was pushed to the back of the cabinet, to be completely forgotten about.

You and Namjoon had agreed that you would use condoms, regardless if you were on birth control because you both knew that you were not ready for kids and didn’t want to take chances if you forgot your pill.

You tried to stay calm as you pulled out your calendar, counting the days since your last cycle, only to let the panic take over when you realized that you hadn’t had a period in almost three months. You kept asking yourself how you didn’t notice, but instead of dwelling on that fact, you made an appointment with an OB GYN, and tried to slow your racing heart when you phone rang and broke the silence.

You almost cried when you saw Namjoon’s contact light up the screen. Answering immediately, you put the phone to your ear. “Oh my God, Namjoon, where are you?” The fear in your voice was palpable, and there was nothing you could do to put your mind at ease until he told you where he was and if he was okay.

“Y/N, calm down.” His words sounded a little slurred and then you were no longer just worried, you were angry.

“Do not tell me to calm down, and are you drunk, right now?” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You were going to apologize for the way you overreacted last night and maybe even tell him what you thought could be going on, but he just ruined that. How were you supposed to tell him if he’s not even mature enough to handle his problems without getting wasted at eight in the morning?

“See? This is what I’m talking about. You are always nagging about something. Always wondering where I am, and what I’m doing. It gets so old. I’m a grown man and if I want to stay out all night, I can.”

You had to stop him from saying anything else, having a real problem with where this conversation was heading. “No you can’t Namjoon. You can’t just do whatever you want. You have a wife who cares about you way too much to not know where you are, and if you didn’t know, I’m telling you now: I am allowed to worry about you. In fact, it’s my job to worry about you. And if you have a problem with that, then I guess we just weren’t as meant to be as we thought when we didn’t listen to our parents and got married.” You regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth, but it was too late to take them back. Namjoon may be drunk, but that didn’t make him stupid; he understood everything you just said, which is why the line went silent. “I’m going to call Hoseok to pick you up, don’t go anywhere. Sober up, and when you’re ready to talk, you know where to find me.

You ended the call with a weight in your chest. Yes, you were glad that he was okay, but you still felt bad for saying what you did. You didn’t mean it and you just knew that you had just made matters so much worse. (END)

The appointment went exactly like you thought it would. “You’re pregnant, and since it’s already been three months, we need to start you on some prenatal vitamins as soon as possible. Also, you’re really lucky that nothing bad happened. You could’ve put the baby, as well as yourself at risk for waiting this long.”

You already felt bad enough about the way you handled things with Namjoon, and that was four days ago, but your doctor was putting the last nail in the coffin. Just thinking about the last week made you burst into tears. You tried to wipe your eyes, needing to be able to see clearly so that you could drive, but absolutely nothing was going the way it should.

You gave yourself permission to cry, just this once. Showing this side to Namjoon, while things were the way they were, was not an option, and you didn’t know when the next time you would be able to woud be. So you pulled over, and cried. You cried about the fight you were in, about the baby you didn’t know about for three months, about the fact that you didn’t want to tell Namjoon, about the way you would feel if you just got rid of it. To you, it was a serious option; abortion. You and Namjoon were in no place to have a baby. You were fighting, his career is just taking off, you were afraid. Maybe that was the bottom line, you were genuinely afraid that something would go wrong: you’d be a terrible mother, Namjoon wouldn’t want it, he would leave you so that you wouldn’t ruin his life.

You pulled the ultrasound photo out of your bag, and you wanted to wake up from the dream, but the longer you stared at it the more it became a reality, You were awake and living this moment, and you couldn’t share it with anyone.

                               ***                                

Namjoon was sitting on the couch waiting for you when you got home, holding the one thing you’d hoped he’d never find: the ultrasound. You’d managed to keep everything from him for a week, but now you’d have to confess. “Namjoon, it’s not what you think.”

He scoffed, “Is it really, because I think that you’ve been keeping a major thing from me.”

“I know, but you can’t deny that we are not exactly on the best of terms right now.” you couldn’t even make eye contact with him.

“Jesus, Y/N! Do you really think that makes a difference? We’re still married. That’s,” he pointed to your growing belly, “still my baby. I have a right to know.”

“I know, you’re right, but-”

“No but’s. You kept this from me. I had to find out from someone else. I ran into your OB, who offered me a congratulations on becoming a father.” He paused and took a breath. “I didn’t want to believe her because I wanted to believe that you would tell me about something like this, but why does she have a reason to lie? But I still needed proof, so I went searching for anything, and I found this.” He shook the photo in front of you before he proceeded to look longingly at it. “It’s so big…. My bean.” You watched silently as the single tear slide down his carved cheekbone, and in that moment, you felt like a monster for keeping this from him, for causing this pain.

“Namjoon, I’m so-”

“I don’t want your apologies right now, I’m not forgiving you for this, but I will be here for you. You won’t do this alone, and you won’t have to worry about me abandoning you.”

                             ***

You hadn’t had a real conversation with Namjoon in a couple of weeks, and you were trying to be understanding about it because you had to admit, you were kind of wrong for keeping something so big and important from him, but at the same time, what gave him the right to tell you to stop worrying about him and what he was doing.

It felt as if Namjoon was slipping through your fingers, slowly, painfully. There was a deep ache in your stomach because of all the unsaid words and tension between the two of you. “Can we talk?” You had an undeniable craving to settle the air, but it was all up to Namjoon at this point. You couldn’t make any progress if he wasn’t willing to put in the effort as well.

“I’m telling you now, that I don’t want to hear another apology. However, I’m willing to listen to whatever you have to say.” That’s all you were asking for. You didn’t need anything more from him.

“Thank you. I’ll start with the fact that I really didn’t mean, or want, to keep this from you. It’s just how things played out.” You heard him sigh, but he didn’t say anything, so you kept going. “At the time we weren’t on the best of terms, and I still didn’t know. My period wasn’t due for another couple of weeks, and I was almost certain that I remembered having it the month before. I’m serious, I really didn’t know.”

Namjoon stood from where he was seated, “Yeah, but when you found out, you didn’t make any move to tell me, did you? You kept it to yourself; you kept the news of my baby from me.”

“I was waiting for the right time to tell you.”

“Y/N, you waited nearly two months before you were even thinking about telling me. I found out, but for you it still wasn’t a good time.”

“You have to understand that we weren’t even in a place that we would talk about anything. You pretty much told me to stay out of your business, and so I was still trying to get over that blow as your wife, and not the mother of your child. I was hurting Namjoon, and you weren’t there to fix it. Why would I tell you something of this magnitude, if you couldn’t even react properly to me being concerned about you? Can you understand that now? Do you see why I felt it wasn’t the right time?” You felt a slight sharp pain in your side, but you decided to ignore it for now, you needed to get through to Namjoon.

“I- I didn’t know you felt that way. I’m so sorry.”

“No. If you don’t want my apologies, I don’t want yours.” You went to walk out of the room, but the moment you turned around, that once annoying pain, was back, but it was full force. It knocked the breath out of you as you tried to catch yourself, feeling as if you were falling in slow motion. You cried out as the stabbing pain began to pulse and it wouldn’t stop. “Ahh! Namjoon.”

“Y/N!” Namjoon rushed to your side, not knowing what to do. He couldn’t think straight, but he was scooping you up into his arms before he knew what was truly happening. “Oh my god, Y/N, please be okay.” You weren’t sue if he was talking directly to you or if he was sending a prayer as he whispered the sentence over and over in your ear.

You felt yourself being placed into the passenger seat of his car and you soon felt nothing else than the pain that was controlling your body. You sat rigid, afraid that if you moved, you would make things worse. “Aaaghghh, please hurry!”

Namjoon drove as fast as he could without becoming a danger on the roads, but he also didn’t want to jerk the car too much or stress you out. The ride felt like an eternity, and you were grateful when you finally arrived at the hospital.

“Please! Help! Please, help my wife, I don’t know what’s wrong!” Namjoon was frantic as he tried to get anyone’s attention, and all you could do was try not to pass out as the pain had grown since you left your house.

You felt yourself being lowered into a wheelchair, and in that moment, you wished you hadn’t moved at all as you got another surge of crippling discomfort. “Someone page Doctor Taux, and get a bed ready in the ER, we need to find out what’s wrong.” You heard all of the commotion happening around you, and you couldn’t figure out how to form the words to let them know that you were pregnant. The same voice began to ask Namjoon questions, “Does she have any previous injuries or illnesses, could she be pregnant? I need you to tell me anything that could help in diagnosing.”

“Yes! Yes, she’s pregnant.” That was the last thing you heard as the distance grew too great to hear them anymore. “Why? Could something be wrong with the baby? I don’t know what’s happening. She, she was fine this morning. Please, just help her.”

“Okay, we’ll do everything in our power to help your wife, I just need you to calm down first. There’s no use in working yourself up so much. You have to be strong, be her rock. Okay?” The woman was slowly leading Namjoon to the waiting room, offering him a seat. “I’ll be back with some water, and we’ll keep you updated on her status.” Namjoon was thankful for her calm words. If he hadn’t heard them, he would probably still be a mess, losing his mind thinking about the worst possible outcome.

The doctor came into the room, and immediately began trying to ask you questions as the nurses worked on hooking you up to machines in order to get your vitals on the monitors. All you could do was groan and try to make coherent responses, but nothing was coming out. So, you were thankful when a person came into the room with all of the answers. “Her name is, Y/N, she’s 26 years old, she has had no major health issues in the past, and she’s pregnant for the first time.”

“Do you know how far along she is?”

“No, her husband was pretty shaken up, couldn’t think that clearly.”

“FOUR!” You managed to get the number out as you released another scream of agony.

“Quickly set up the ultrasound, and get a fetal monitor on her.”

Doctor Taux moved quickly, and she soon found the heartbeat she was looking for. And the both of you were releasing a sigh of relief. “Y/N, I’m prescribing you with a pain reliever that’s okay for pregnant women to use in small doses, and also some progesterone, it’s going to help your uterus maintain the pregnancy. You had a really close call, and you’re not completely out of the danger zone either.” Tears began to fall from your eyes as you registered just exactly what she was saying. You were in the middle of having a miscarriage, and all you could do was hope that it wasn’t too late to stop it from completing its course. “I also want to run a few more tests before I discharge you. Okay?”

You simply nodded your head, and just as you were about to ask for Namjoon, Doctor Taux added, “I’ll let your husband know what’s happened and that he can come see you.” She offered one last apologetic smile and left the room.

The sound of the door clicking shut woke you from your light sleep. You hadn’t even realized that the pain had gone away, enough to even doze off. Almost completely, the sharp stabbing had subsided, and the only discomfort residing was the soreness that your body was hanging on to.

Namjoon crossed the room in apprehensive steps, not sure if he should say anything, or if he should just sit next to you and hold your hand. There were so many things that he wanted to do, but he wasn’t sure if the two of you had gotten past all of your issues, at least enough to offer any type of consoling. Everything felt awkward, like he hadn’t been your husband for the last six years. “Y/N, I’m so, so, so sorry. I don’t know how to fix anything, or help you.” He was nearly in tears as he thought about the drama that he felt responsible for. He couldn’t even bare to look you in the eyes.

“Shhh.” You reached out to touch his face, and he immediately grasped that hand inside of his. “It’s okay. Let’s just move past that. We have to focus on what’s in front of us now. Okay?” He was so shaken up about the whole thing, and his eyes were screwed shut as he turned his face into your palm and placed one single kiss in the center of your palm. In that moment, it felt as if all of your trivial problems floated away, and you couldn’t have been any more thankful for Namjoon. Thinking about it, this was the scariest moment in your life, but if it hadn’t happened, you and Namjoon would still be in the same place you were before; barely talking to each other and not solving any of your troubles.

The moment you got back to your house, Namjoon was very adamant about sticking to doctor’s orders and keeping you on bed rest, but you weren’t really going to complain. While Namjoon was not able to be by your side every moment of the day, he did his best to let you know what was going on in his work day. The two of you didn’t want a repeat of all of the drama that was created just because you were worried and he was stressed. You allowed him to find an escape in your company. The conversations that the pair of you were having were like surreal moments, but you weren’t going to let them slip past you. He told about the new artists he was working with; he even told about a surprise he was working on for you. There were so many things that he was opening up about and it was more than enough to give you peace of mind because you weren’t left in the dark when he had to be out late, and when he came home, he was happy to be there.

Namjoon turned his key in the lock of the front door, entering the house almost silently, before he announced that he was home. “Y/N, you’re not going to believe what Hoseok bought at the bookstore last week.” You heard his smile before you saw it as he entered the bedroom. He ran over to you in the cutest way you had seen anybody move and immediately kissed your ever growing belly. You giggled at his antics and watched as he had a conversation with your unborn daughter. “Uncle Hoseok got you a present.” Namjoon reached inside of his bag and pulled out a book with a tiger on the cover, entitled ‘Daddy’s Princess Rules the Jungle’, and a blanket to match. “I’ll read this to you every night, until you know all the words and you can read it to me.”

You stayed silent for a little longer before you couldn’t take it anymore. “Where’s my kiss?” You asked playfully, but Namjoon was quick to apologize.

     “I’m sorry, baby. I just got a little excited.” He moved to hover over you slightly before placing a soft kiss on your lips. As he pulled away, you caused his lips. You weren’t sure what came over you, but you desperately wanted to deepen the kiss. You were convinced that you head earned this, after staying celibate for the past four months, due to the unfortunate event. Namjoon had hardly laid a single finger on you, and you felt forced to be okay with the simple kisses that he’d been giving you, but you needed more.

     You kept your hands firmly in place around his face, and you refused to let go. “Y/N, we should stop.” He gently tugged on your arm, and you pulled back with a pout.

     “Really? What do you think could possibly happen? I’m already eight months pregnant. We got past the miscarriage scare, why won’t you do this for me?” You sounded like a whiny brat, but you couldn’t really care less. You looked at Namjoon with hopeful eyes, and he looked back at you with understanding, but his eyes also told you that you weren’t going to be getting what you wanted.

     He exhaled before he calmly explained, “you could go into labor early, that’s the worst that could happen. I want that bun to cook for as long as possible.” He emphasized his point by pointing directly at your belly. You wrapped your arms around your baby bump, just thinking that you would soon be welcoming your baby girl to the world. “I know it’s just a few weeks, but I still think we should play it safe.” Listening to Namjoon, it all made sense. You weren’t sure how he did that, but he put your mind, and your emotions at ease.

     “Okay, can we cuddle at least?” You asked, already moving to lean into him.

     “Of course, just don’t try any funny business.” Namjoon playfully scolded you.

     “I’d never dream of it.”

     It’s already been a whole seven days since you were meant to be holding your daughter in your arms, instead she was extending her stay just a little longer, and you were miserable.

     You tried not to snap at Namjoon as he looked on at you bouncing on your exercise ball. “I guess she just wants to stay with you forever.” He chuckled lightly, still not too sure about your mood.

“Not helping, Namjoon. I know the doctor said that this happens all the time, but I’m really in a lot of pain.” You couldn’t stop the whine from leaving your throat. “I don’t know. I guess when I knew the end was near, I was just ready to relieve my backaches and be able to touch my toes, or see my toes. I could settle for that, but it just feels like she’s never going to be ready to come out.” You hung your head, feeling slightly defeated, and not knowing a solution.

Namjoon moved from his seat on the sofa to kneel beside you, “Baby girl,” he whispered to your stomach, “hurry up and come out so that we can love you properly.” You felt the warmth of his large hand glide across your belly, rubbing soothing patterns into your skin, and you wondered, for a second, if your baby could feel it. You cupped Namjoon’s face in your hand, bringing his lips up to meet yours.

Just after placing a chaste kiss on his awaiting lips, you felt a dull ache start in your back and then wrap around your torso. “That was weird.”

“What was?” Namjoon instinctively reached for you, not knowing what else to do, but to be ready for anything.

“I’m not sure.” You cocked your head to the side with knitted eyebrows. “There was a strange sensation.” You stood up from your ball, and headed towards the bedroom. “I’m going to go lie down, try to clear my head. I don’t want to dwell on it too much, ya know?”

After laying in bed for a little over forty minutes, you noticed that the sensation was growing in duration and power. The most recent one made you wince slightly, and then grimace, and then you grunted in discomfort. “Namjoon!” You called for him from the other room.

“What’s wrong?” he questioned with a hint of panic in his voice and on his face.

“I’m not exactly sure, and I don’t want to make a big deal about it, but I think I might be contracting, and we should probably call Doctor Taux to tell her that we’re on our way.”

You fully expected him to start running around like a chicken with its head cut off, and not really being much help, but when he replied with a simple, “Okay,” you were genuinely surprised. You watched as he grabbed your already packed hospital bag, after dialing Doctor Taux’s personal number, and took his time explaining your current situation. He loaded the car carefully to make sure that he had everything that you would need, and then he came back to help you into a pair of shoes, and then out the house, and finally in the car. You wanted to say something, but you didn’t really have anything to say. His calm was keeping you calm, and you felt really safe in this environment.

Upon arriving at the hospital, you were escorted to your room, and before you had time to complain about another contraction, the nurse was prepping you for delivery. Doctor Taux entered shortly after. “Okay, Miss Y/N, you are just about ready to start pushing. Your contractions are about three minutes apart and you are six centimeters dilated.” She checked her watch before patted your arm. “I’m going to come back in about ten minutes and we’ll see where we’re at. Sound good?”

Namjoon answered for you because he knew that you weren’t really in the mood to have a conversation. “Thank you, Doctor Taux.” The door clicked behind her, and you just wished that she would come back and take this baby out of you. “Baby, you just have to hang in there a little longer. You’re doing great!”

“Namjoon, stop talking.” The sound of everything was annoying, and all you could hope for was to start pushing. You were trying to steady your breathing, but before you could take a deep breath, a huge contraction overtook your body. You reached for Namjoon, or anything really. You managed to find purchase on his bicep, and you squeezed, digging your nails into the flesh. Tears fell from your eyes and a low, painful scream tore out of your throat. It felt as if the contraction would never end, for both you and Namjoon, as he sat there with his arm held hostage and him silently begging for it to pass. The pain finally subsided, but only for a moment before your body was wracked with a type of pain the would never feel familiar.

You let out another scream, and just then the door opened to reveal a nurse that looked a little worried for you. “Oh dear, I’ll page Doctor Taux.” Those were the best words you could’ve ever asked to hear, and when the woman showed up less than three minutes later, you nearly cried tears of joy.

Her smile wasn’t exactly contagious, but you would rather have her happy and excited about her job than the opposite. “Well, well, well, I guess that your baby girl is ready to meet you guys. Let’s see what we’re working with.” Doctor Taux looked beneath the sheet and was immediately giving orders. “I can see her head so, Miss Y/N, it’s time to push. Let’s get her in the stirrups and get this show on the road, shall we?”

The next few moments felt like an eternity. The pushing and the breathing, the screaming and the breathing. The gentle caress of Namjoon’s strong hand and kisses on your forehead did little to soothe the absolute agony of everything. “Alright, just one more push. You can do it!”

You tried to keep breathing. You tried to gather enough strength to push one more time, but you just couldn’t do it. “I can’t”

“You can. Come on, your daughter wants to meet you so badly, she just needs some help. And you’re the only one that can help her.” Doctor Taux made a point, but it was Namjoon’s words that really settled within you.

He told you the exact words you needed to hear.He leaned in close and whispered, “I know you’re scared, I’m scared too, but I also know that I’m so ready for this. I’m ready to be a dad and for us to be parents together. You just need to push one more time and we can start that journey. We can welcome the life that we created together. We can bring her into the world.” He kissed your temple and smoothed your hair.

“One more?”

“One more.” With Namjoon’s reassurance, you gave the biggest push you could’ve possibly mustered and as soon as you stopped crying, you heard the cries of your baby girl. You looked over at Namjoon as he cut the umbilical cord, and the tears that rolled down his cheeks. He was truly happy. The nurses cleaned her up and placed her in your arms, and then you were crying all over again.

You said the only words you could find to describe her, “She’s beautiful. She’s so, so, so beautiful.”

“She’s perfect. Daddy loves you so much. You’re my perfect little angel.” You’d never seen such a large hand move so delicately as you saw his move to touch her. “I love you.” And he just kept whispering that to her like his own mantra. Then he finally looked at you, “And I love you.”

“I love you too.”

User Experience Statistics

USER EXPERIENCE STATISTICS
1. More than nine out of 10 (95%) agreed with the statement that ‘good user experience just makes sense’. (Econsultancy)

2. Nearly three quarters (73%) of companies currently not conducting user experience testing will be doing so in the next 12 months. (Econsultancy)

3. Visual data is processed 60,000 times faster by the brain than text. (SocialTimes)  

MOBILE WEBSITE STATISTICS
4. 66% of mobile users find that web pages load too slow. (Keynote Systems, Inc)4. 50% of average global mobile web users now use mobile as either their primary or exclusive means of going online. (inmobi)

5. Users preferred mobile websites for news, food/entertainment info, travel info, shopping info, and shopping. (Keynote Systems, Inc)

6. Smartphone users preferred to use mobile apps over mobile websites for map information, social media updates, e‐mail, and banking information. (Keynote Systems, Inc)

7. 57% of users say they won’t recommend a business with a poorly designed mobile site. (Google’s Mobile Playbook)

8. 48% of users say that if they arrive on a business site that isn’t working well on mobile, they take it as an indication of the business simply not caring. (MarginMedia)

9. 40% of users have turned to a competitor’s site after a bad mobile experience. (Google’s Mobile Playbook)

EMAIL MARKETING STATISTICS
10. Emails with social sharing buttons increase clickthrough rates by 158%. (SocialTimes)

11. 28.85% of all emails are opened on mobile phones and 10.16% on tablets. (Super Monitoring)

CALLS-TO-ACTION STATISTICS
12. Only 11% of companies (Fortune 500 Companies) have social media links above the fold, and 89% below. (Go-Globe)

13. 47% of websites have a clear call-to-action button that takes users 3 seconds or less to see. (Go-Globe)

14. 70% (of the 200 small business websites evaluated) don’t display clear calls-to-action for anything on their home pages, such as specials, e-mail newsletters, how-to guides, demos, and interactive tools. (Online Marketing Coach)

Below is just a few tips that I think will help out quite a few people on navigating through icon making. My primary/only source of icon making is through photoshop, so I am not sure how well these tips will correlate with other programs, but it’s possible that they can!  If you have questions at any point, feel free to ask them! ! !

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Give Me Love Song Preference Imagine

Michael Clifford

Requested? No

Smut? No

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3589

A/N: I k n o w this is super long, but it was worth it because i think it came out pretty good! But I cut some of the song short because it would’ve been even longer so yeaah, hope you like it! Sorry this is in smut tags lmao /:yeah could you possibly give feed back?? (:>

Give me love like her

because lately I’ve been

sleeping alone paint splattered

tear drops on my 

shirt, told you I’d

let them go

It was always “YN you’re my best friend, you know I love you right?” or “I couldn’t ask for a better friend”. Never once did I ever think that I would fall for my best friend, and here I am. I’ve always wanted more from our friendship, and I know I shouldn’t think of my best friend like this. I’ve tried to push away these feelings but somehow they’d always find there way back to my head. Always making me second guess on telling Michael that I love him. I love him. I know it sounds cliche, falling for your best friend and all, but I can’t help but feel that little pit of butterflies and sparks every time I’m around him. I fight this urge to just grab his face and kiss his lips. Just about everyone knows I have feelings for Michael, except him. It hurts when he calls me in the middle of the night about another girl that has cheated on him. I bite on my lip to keep myself from saying anything I would regret in the morning. But now we’re going back in the cycle, Michael has another stunning girlfriend and I just have to sit and watch then be happy from a distance.

Most of the girlfriends he’s had have all used him in some type of way, whether it was for fame, the money, or just to say they’ve fucked the one and only Michael Clifford. But is it any use telling him that this girlfriend could be like the last? Absolutely not, he insists that the next girl is ‘way different’ and won’t do what they others did to him. I’m at the point where I can’t take watching him get hurt. He needs somebody like me, somebody who actually cares about him as a person. Somebody who doesn’t care about the money and fame, somebody who will make jokes with him instead of showing him off like he’s some type of charm. He treats his girlfriend like a queen, and how does she repay him? Showing him off to her friends and treating him like dirt.

And that I’ll fight

my corner maybe tonight

I’ll call you after

my blood turns into

alcohol, no I just wanna

hold ya


Long nights of mine were spent in the comfort of my room, curled up in a ball on my bed. Tears slowly ran down my cheeks. Choked sobs escaped my lips as I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to prevent anymore tears from cascading down my face. Slowly, I sat up against the pillows on my bed and then reached out for the phone on my bed stand. Unlocking the iPhone, I scrolled through the contacts until I came across his name. Michael. Blankly, I stared down at the phone as my thumb hovered over the call button. Hesitantly I pressed the green call button and held it up to my ear. For a while it rang until I heard a click and then heard Michael’s deep voice through the speaker.

“Hello?”

“YN..are you there?”

My throat went dry as words spun around in my head, jumbling up thoughts. My lips parted in preparation for me to speak, but nothing came out. Quickly, I tapped the end button and threw my phone onto the other side of the bed before my shoulders slumped down and my hands clasped over my eyes. I used my fingers to wipe away the tears, although they keep falling from my eyes. Getting up from the bed, I made my way down the stairs and into the basement of my house. My hand reached for the light and flicked the switch to on. The basement lit up and then my feet carried me to the forbidden cabinet. The cabinet where I had locked up all the alcohol. The cabinet I promised myself I would never come near, but here I am standing in front of it. As I inched towards it I reached out for the silver lock that was planted on the door. My thumb brushed over the dust that had collected upon it, revealing the sparkle in the silver. My fingers traced the edges of the lock as my eyes stared in awe at it. Quickly, I turned on my heels and shuffled around the basement trying to find where I had put the key. I then came across a small black box that was hidden in between sofa cushions that contained the key to the lock.

I swiftly moved across the carpet and back to the cabinet, only to place the key in the lock hole and turn it until I heard the click, signaling that the lock was unlocked. I opened the big cabinet and my eyes widened in awe. For a moment I was hesitant on whether I should have a drink or not. A couple years ago I promised Michael that I would never touch another drink. Why? Because the last time i had a really bad break down I drank myself into an oblivion and I was rushed to the hospital. I was told all through the night Michael held me in his arms while I slept on the hospital bed. When I woke up that morning he was so angry with me that he threw every bottle of alcohol away and locked up the rest. But here I am, standing in front of the numerous bottles of wine that was left, them still not expired.I grabbed three bottles, Vodka, and two bottle of Red Wine and carried them all back up to my room. 

When I set foot in my room I placed all three bottles so on my bed and stared down at them. I fiddled with my fingers and looked back at the bottles. It’s too late to go back now, I thought to myself.I then took the three bottles and my phone into the bathroom with me, locking the door behind me. Sliding down to the floor, I let my emotions take over. Tears sprang rapidly from my eyes, for what it seems the fifty-ith time to night. This time I didn’t hold back, screams and loud sobs came from my lungs. Grabbing the Vodka I popped the cap off and took a long sip from the bottle. The contents of the bottle burning the back of my throat as it went down. The world being drowned out by my feelings. 

After the first two bottles my body felt numb, just how I need to feel. My head was pounding and I could feel my heart beat getting slower. I looked over at my phone and picked it up from the ground. I scrolled through my contacts list for the second time that night and clicked the phone option next to Michael’s name.

Give a little time

to me, we’ll burn

this out we’ll play 

hide and seek to

turn this around all

I want is the 

taste that you’re lips

allow my my my

m oh give me 

love my my my

my oh give me love

At this point I wanted tell him how much I loved him, how much I wanted to feel his lips against mine. But at the same time I want to hide from these feelings, I wanted things to go back to how they were before I started to develop feelings. I also wanted him to feel the way he’s made me feel for ages now. Something deep down in me wanted him to suffer the way I did, to string him out and make him feel that feeling I did when I’m around him. I wanted him to know that I loved him. I wanted him to know that’ve been crushing on a guy who I will never have a chance with. I just wanted him to love me the way I love him. I wanted him to hold me and tell me that I would be his forever. All of this hoping for what? For me to have tears running down my face as I sat upon the cold white tile in my bathroom with three alcohol bottles in front of me, my phone in my hand with his name displayed in big letters, and my thumb hovering over the call button.

Give me love like

never before cause lately

I’ve been craving you

more, and it’s been 

awhile and I still

feel the same maybe

I should let you go

The thoughts swarmed my head. How could some like Michael possibly like me? I’m not as skinny as the girls he’s been with in the past, I don’t have that big of a butt, and I have average sized boobs. I was curvy and had no thigh gap, my hair wasn’t blonde and I didn’t have blue eyes. How could I even believe that he would think I was beautiful like that? I wasn’t a model, and I damn sure wasn’t close to it. All these thoughts made me angry, I wanted to forget him so badly. I wanted to erase every feeling I had for him. I wanted to forget that I ever met him, I wanted to forget the first time I felt that small spark at the pit of my stomach every time. And that it why I drank, I wanted to feel from all of this. I needed to feel numb. I couldn’t bare the pain aching my heart, it could only take so much heartbreak.

You know I’ll fight

my corner and that

tonight I’ll call ya

after my blood is

drowning in alcohol no,

I just wanna hold ya

I picked up the last bottle of wine and popped the cap open, it revealing the strong scent, intoxicating my mind even more. My lips sealed the top of the bottle as the warm liquid of the bottle invaded my mouth and swam down the length of my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut as I took in the full amount of alcohol. Not being able to handle anymore, I through the bottle to the ground, making the glass shatter and the red liquid splashing onto the tile. The liquid ran along the crack between the tile next to me and stained the ground. I looked back down a the phone that was clasped in one hand with my thumb hovering over the call button. 

My actions betraying my mind, my thumb pressed on the green option and the phone started to ring for the second time that night. My eyes lowered in a daze as my head leaned back against the wall. For a couple of minutes it rang until I heard the same click like before, and his deep voice rang through my speakers and poured into my ears. I swallowed a large gulp as my chest heaved up and down at a rapid pace.

“Hello? YN? What happened, you called and you hung up last time..is everything okay?” Michael asked in confusion, I could picture him with his eyebrows furrowed together as he spoke.

“Am I not good enough Michael” I asked, the saddness very present in my voice as I sniffed. My words slurred together giving him the impression that I was drinking again.

“YN are you..are you drunk? You promised me you would never touch another bottle again” He questioned, the hurt evident in his voice but yet his voice sounded daring and he sounded angry.

“I haven’t-fuck, I haven’t been drinking” I said in a way that seemed to convince me more than it did him.

“Yes you have, do not touch anything else-” he began before I cut him off.

“You know what’s funny Michael, I’ve been chasing after a guy who I would have no hope with and he doesn’t even see it.” I interupted

“W-what?” Michael asked dumbfounded.

“I just…I’m sorry okay I shouldn’t have called” I replied, my words still slurring together as the waterworks began again.

“W-wait YN don’t hang up! Don’t you fucking dare hang up on m-” He rambled before I ended the call. Slowly standing up from my position on the floor, I set down my phone on the sink as I stared at my reflection in the vast mirror that stood proud before me. It revealing a broken, drunken girl who spoke sober thoughts. My eyes were puffy and red and my nose was pink, my cheeks turning a deep shade of red. Tear streaks decorated my face as did make up. Wiping the tears away I exhaled loudly and groaned. Why me? Why did life have to hate me so much? Most importantly, why did I have to fall for him. Out of all people, I had to fall for Michael. I reached for my hair and pulled on the ends as I screamed and sobbed. Picking a bottle up off the floor, I smashed it against the mirror. The glass from both objects shattering and flying towards me, cutting my arms and little parts of my cheeks and legs. 

I sank back down to the floor in defeat. I pulled my legs up close to my chest and wrapped my arms around my knees, resting my head on my forearms as I shook. My phone vibrated against the marble sink in the bathroom, causing me to lift my head up the slightest bit and pick it up to see that Michael texted me.

“Yn are you okay? what’s going on.”

“Answer me please, I need to know you’re alright :(”

“Alright, I’m coming over. Please don;t do anything stupid”

The messages read. It wasn;t long before I heard a car door slam from outside and then the door opened to my house and shut with a loud slam.

“Hello? YN where are you?” Michael’s voice echoed in the dark home. He followed the light from upstairs and ended up in my room. “YN..Yn are you in here?” he asked again, his voice coming close to the door, his footsteps getting louder. The door knob jiggled and then his voice was heard again.

“Please open the door, I need to know you’re okay” Michael pleaded, his voice strained.

“Just go away” I spoke softly, sniffling softly.

“No, now let me in…please” he pleaded once more, but I didn’t move a muscle. It was quiet for a while until Michael started to try to break the door down. With one push, no success, second push, failure, and on the third try he finally got the door open. His eyes widened as he brought his hand up and cupped his mouth. I could see the tears fill up his eyes as he stared down at me. Ashamed, I looked away from him and down at the floor, blood still oozing from the many cuts the glass gave me. Michael rushed to my side and lifted me from the ground and into his arms, rocking me back and forth.

“What have you done…” he whispered into my ear, sending a slight chill down my back. He pulled away from his grasp slightly and studied my face to get some type of emotion, but he didnt. He asked why I did it numerous time. Why I would break his promise, why I would do this to myself.

“Because…because of you dammit!” I choked out. His green eyes went wide again as he stared at me baffled.

“Me? I did this to you?” he asked.

Nodding my head I replied, “If I wouldn’t have caught any feelings for you this wouldn’t of happened. But you were so oblivious to the fact that I love you. You, Michael Gordon Clifford I love you. But it was dumb for me to actually believe that a guy like you would actually like somebody like me. I didn’t want to like you, I can’t. But I can’t stand seeing you hurt over some uptight scampy bitch. I gave up trying to tell you people like those girls don’t wanr you for you. Only if you could see that you need somebody like…somebody like-“

“Somebody like you” Michael said, finishing my sentence.

“Yes, somebody like me. Somebody who doesn’t care that you’re famous, somebody who doesn’t show you off like you’re some sort of trophy so they can be labeled cool. Somebody who doesn’t treat you like absolute shit, somebody who just wants to tell everyone that you gave them a good fuck. But silly me right, silly silly me? How was I supposed to ever believe that I was good enough for you. Why cant you..why can’t you just love me the way I love you?” I rambled, throwing my hands up in the air and the pinching the bridge of my nose. The drunken state wearing off a little, but still present, giving me the confidence to go on.

“I- I don’t know what to say” Michael mumbled looking down.

“I would expect that, you don;t have to say anything..just put me down” I demanded, and he obeyed.

Give a little time

to me and we;ll

burn this out we’ll

play hide and seek

to turn this around

all I want is

the taste that your

lips allow my my

my my give me love

I wanted to forget you, I wanted to forget that I even liked you. I wanted to forget that I even met you, I didn’t want to feel that small spark when I’m with you. I didn’t want to feel that I love I feel for you when I look into those green eyes. But I do, and I can’t help it. I, YN Y/L/N am hopelessly in love with you!” I shouted.

“I..”

“Before you say anything, I just wanted you to know. You don’t have to feel the same, although that would hurt like hell I understand” I interrupted him for the second time that night.

“I..I love you too” he admitted.

“Are you sure..what about your girlfriend, Michael? You can’t just say you love me because I poured out my feelings to you. What are you trying to do? Pity me? I don’t want your pity, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me” I spat, anger raging through my body.

“No, no not at all! I do love you, and I’m sorry it took now for me to see that I do love you the way you love me. I guess I used those girls to push away my feeling for you because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.”  Michael explained as he walked over to my bed and set me down on it. I watched as he carefully walked back into the bathroom and got the first aid kit. He then came back to me and knelt before me, setting the kit aside to open it. He pulled out rubbing alcohol and cotton balls, then proceeded to pour the liquid onto the small fluff. He gently pressed the soaked cotton ball on my cuts, causing a burning sensation to shoot around my body and to wince away from his touch, a low hiss escaping my lips.

“Stay still” Michael murmered holding my head still but using his thumb and pointer finger and grasping my jaw lightly. He dabbed the liquid along the cuts and then blew gently on them.

When he was done he got up to put the kit on the nightstand and then threw the cotton ball away in the trash bin. Hr then came back and sat next to me and huffed.

“So, what now?” Michael asked, his head turning towards me, me not daring to look at him and my shoulders shrugged. From the corner of my eye I could see Michael’s green eyes boring into the side of my face. He then grabbed my cheeks and forced me to look at him, his pink lips then collided with mine. It took a couple seconds for me to comprehend what just happened before I relaxed into the kiss and started to kiss him back.

“I’ve been waiting a long time to do that” he whispered against my lips.

“Oh you have no idea” I replied.

my my my my

give me love lover

my my my my

give me love lover

my my my my

give me love lover


His forehead rested on mine as we looked into each other’s eyes. A small smile crossed his lips as the same did mine.

“You should get some rest” he suggested, and I nodded in agreement. I changed from the clothes I had ruined and pulled on a loose t-shirt and some shorts as Michael pulled off his shirt and stripped down to his boxers. We both pulled down the covers and rested beneath them. Michael’s arm wrapped around my torso and pulled me closer to his body, heat radiating off of his body and on to me. I snuggled further into his chest as he murmured numerous ‘I love you’s’ and kissed the top of my head.

“I’ve always loved you, and I always will” he whispered, not thinking that I was still awake. Before I fell I sleep I whispered an ‘I love you" back and closed my eyes, with a small smile plastered on my face.

my my my my

oh give me love

my my my my

oh give me love

my my my my

oh give me love

Your Very Own Dr. Sexy Part 2

Remember a while ago when I posted that first bit of the Dr. Sexy fic that my friend wrote? Well, she has a bit more for me to show you, so

Your Very Own Dr. Sexy (Part 2) - (Part 1)

“Look, Sam. Got my own Doctor Sexy.” Dean gritted out.

“Oh my god.” He heard from three separate people in the room.

“Yeah, doc.” Ruby said. “He’s fine.”

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