call the hogs

8

I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you. That’s not gonna change. Trauma protocol, phone lists, pagers. Nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run. A run, that’s rule number two. Your first shift starts now and lasts forty-eight hours. You’re interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain, you run labs, write orders, work every second night till you drop and don’t complain! On call rooms. Attendings hog them, sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to rule number three, if I’m sleeping, don’t wake me, unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there. Not only would you have killed someone, you would have also woke me for no good reason, we clear? Rule number five. When I move, you move. Grey’s Anatomy: A Hard Day’s Night

anonymous asked:

Harry and Uma for your ship thing

Ah this fearsome ship <3. Also tumblr please allow us to tag ask box posts without having to go in and edit after we post it.

who is more likely to hurt the other?
- Uma slays with her words. Harry worships the ground she walks on and rarely will challenge her. But Uma, she knows where to jab.

who is emotionally stronger?
- Uma has a better head on her shoulders. Harry’s emotions are a little too wild.

who is physically stronger?
- Harry has the strength. Never uses it against her, though he probably could overpower her. Instead he uses his strength for her.
 
who is more likely to break a bone?
- Harry gets sent to do a lot of the dirty work. So he’s hurt himself more times then he can count getting away from some pretty nasty situations.

who knows best what to say to upset the other?
- Uma. She knows how much he loves her and she does love him as well. That doesn’t stop her from dragging him down with her when she’s upset. 

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument?
- Uma never apologizes. Things kind of fester between them until Uma misses him enough let him come back graveling.
  
who treats who’s wounds more often?
- Harry doesn’t let Uma get her hands too dirty, so he gets mos the injuries. But Uma makes sure they are cleaned and protected enough to not kill him.

who is in constant need of comfort?
- Mal’s betrayal really hurt Uma, but Harry’s been her right hand from day one. He knows all the signs and what to do when she starts getting depressive.

who gets more jealous? 
- Harry. Heaven help you if you so much as show interest in Uma. She may play as though she hates how he behaves, Uma secretly loves how possessive he can be.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 
- Uma storms off first, every single time. Harry may have temper but it’s never directed at her, but when he gets on Uma’s bad side for one reason or other, she needs a break.

who will propose?
- Harry finds the large pearl one day while at sea. He fashions it into a beautiful engagement ring and asks her while their crew hoots and hollers around them.

who has the most difficult parents?
- Both their parents are horrible. Ursula always taking advantage of her, while Hook ignores his only son.

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public?
- Uma seeks his hand when she needs something to ground her. 

who comes up for the other all the time?
- Harry is always comes for Uma. He’s at her beck and call, never too far.

who hogs the blankets?
- Uma tends to be the blanket hog. Harry understands its from her need of wanting to be safe and secure rather than being cold.

who gets more sad?
- Both have their reasons for being sad, but Uma desperately wants of the Isle. All failed attempts just continue to dampen her mood.

who is better at cheering the other up?
- Gill actually cheers them up. Both are too stubborn and while Harry may attempt a joke or two. It’s really Gil who manages to brighten their moods.

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?
- Harry has some nasty cuts from telling a silly joke one too many times. SHe doesn’t do it purposely, but her jewelry is sharp.

who is more streetwise?
- Both. They’ve been running through the streets of the Isle so so long now.

who is more wise?
- Uma. She actually enjoys reading and learning, though she tries to play otherwise. 

who’s the shyest?
- Neither. Both are very handsy with each other. Everyone knows they belong to each other despite never announcing it to the world.

who boasts about the other more?
- Harry can’t say Uma’s name enough. 

who sits on who’s lap?
- Nothing is more terrifying than the sight of Harry on Uma’s throne leering at you from over Uma’s shoulder as the beautiful turquoise haired sea-witch smiles devilishly.

I love gaining and the feeling of growing fatter, but what makes it even better for me is when I’m called a pig or a hog as I do so.  I may enjoy the comparison a little too much as my dream would be to be placed in front of a feeding trough, and told to fatten up like a prize winning hog. The idea of being put in front of that trough filled with fattening food, and having a guy constantly refilling it and overseeing every inch of my progress is beyond my wildest dreams.  Told I’m their greedy pig and that I’ll be the biggest hog they ever raised as my belly fattens and fills further and further out.  Possibly someday being too large to even move away from the trough.  That’d be the day he’d finally give me a blue ribbon, and tell me what a good pig I am.

My Favorite GTOP Moments in 2015

JANUARY:

The year kicked off with the final concerts of BB ‘X’ JDT and this was one of my favorite moments from the January 17th concert in Osaka


FEBRUARY:

I think this is my favorite moment in 2015? Just the way Seunghyun caught Jiyong’s eyes and his bright smile afterwards *clutches heart*


MARCH:

Not a lot happened in March except the release of BIGBANG’s Welcoming Collection and well….


APRIL:

The most memorable thing that happened in April was Seunghyun making an IG account. And because of that we got this on April 20th

“Ah obha, it fits so well with the rain that’s falling now.”

Obha……Okay Jiyong ;)


MAY:

Oh god where to begin?! A lot of things happened in May 2015 but there 2 memorable moments for me:

1. The way Jiyong looked at Seunghyun during this Inkigayo performace. I don’t think I’ll forget this anytime soon.

2. HAPPY TOGETHER! THE ENTIRE EPISODE WAS OOZING WITH GTOP


JUNE:

There are also 2 moments in June that are unforgettable (at least to me)

1. Of course the cuddling on stage in WL2P stage on June 14th HK concert

2. The phone call during the Naver Starcast for ‘D’ album. Jiyong was so eager to call Seunghyun the entire time (even though he said he talked to him before the broadcast started) and when they finally called Seunghyun, he hogged the phone and barely let anyone else talk….

(sorry about the bad quality)

JULY:

1. Dinner in Singapore~

2. Photoshoot for GQ August issue

3. Seunghyun being excited about Zutter on IG

(captioned “SOON 0805″)

(captioned “쩔어”)

(thanks for reminding me of these Madi <3)


AUGUST:

SO MANY WONDERFUL THINGS HAPPENED IN AUGUST!

1. Let’s start at the beginning: The V live broadcast

2. ZUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

3. GTOP were seen in a club together!!!!

4. On Jiyong’s birthday, Seunghyun posted this

(captioned “Happy birthday GD.”)

5. GTOP lunch date after this AMAZING Zutter stage https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oiQYnhYKIE (which also happened to be Chinese Valentines Day. Coincidence? I think not XD)

6. AND THE MOST AMAZING MOMENT IN AUGUST!!!!!

(originally captioned “hahaha #Lastnight!”)

SEPTEMBER:

Not a lot happened in the beginning of the month since they were taking a much needed break at the time and also busy doing individual V app…things. BUT still things happened

1. Jiyong posted videos of Seunghyun on IG on September 10th and 11th

A video posted by G-DRAGON (@xxxibgdrgn) on Sep 10, 2015 at 6:02am PDT

(captioned “Playing with grandpa TOP”)

A video posted by G-DRAGON (@xxxibgdrgn) on Sep 11, 2015 at 4:43am PDT

(captioned “Playing with grandpa TOP again feat. Maknae line”)

2. September 27th afterparty in Taiwan

OCTOBER:

1. October kicked off with GTOP when Jiyong posted this video

A video posted by G-DRAGON (@xxxibgdrgn) on Oct 1, 2015 at 7:29pm PDT

(captioned “Came back to the hotel and our oldest hyung is doing this”)

2. Seunghyun went out with Jiyong and the gang (I think this was in NYC)

3. They were seen in a club in Sydney


NOVEMBER:

1. On Seunghyun’s bitrthday Jiyong posted this

(captioned “Happy TOP’s Day *heart and cake emojis*)

2. The Melon Music Awards


DECEMBER:

December was pretty much eventless with the exception of MAMA


These are only a few of the moments…..it was turning into a very long post so I stopped myself.

(all pics credits to the owners - all gifs are mine)

7

“I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don’t bother sucking up, I already hate you, that’s not gonna change. Trauma protocol, phone lists, pagers. Nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run. A run, that’s rule number two. Your first shift starts now and lasts forty-eight hours. You’re interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain, you run labs, write orders, work every second night till you drop and don’t complain! On call rooms. Attendings hog them, sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to rule number three, if I’m sleeping, don’t wake me, unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there, not only would you have killed someone, you would have also woke me for no good reason, we clear?”

Two Sugars, Extra Cream

Hello, lovelies! 

I do not expect chapter 2 of Bid Ye Soft Farewell to be up until next week (My SO is in town and I haven’t seen him in a while). SO, I’ve created this silly little ficlet in the meantime. Kind of crazy, kind of out of character. But I had a hell of a good time writing it! Hope you enjoy!


Caramel-Nut Latte, extra hot. Okay, 2 pumps caramel, 3 pumps hazelnut. 2 shots of espresso. Steam milk for extra 20 seconds and a caramel drizzle on top…

Beautiful, Beauchamp. You’re a goddamn coffee wizard.

“Caramel-Nut Latte for Duncan!”

I had been working for Mrs. Fitz for nearly a year at this point while putting myself through school. Though I loved the work that I did at university, there was always something so comforting and homey about the café. Perhaps it was the mismatched green walls, the exposed brick. Perhaps it was the baubles thrown haphazardly on the shelves, or the odd paintings Mrs. Fitz liked to pick up at second-hand shops. (The one with the chimpanzee queen was my favorite). Perhaps it was just the constant smell of coffee that reminded me of my Uncle Lamb– God rest his soul. It was an odd little place, but it was mine. I belonged here.

As if conjured by my own thoughts, I heard the tell-tale backfire of Mrs. Fitz’s ridiculously old car.  She really needed to upgrade.

“Ooooh, Claire, lass! Come help me with the milk! I heard we were runnin’ low, so I bought three crates full!!” Mrs. Fitz was terribly excited about that milk. I, however, did not share in that joy. I knew “helping” in this case meant “carry them all in for me.”

“Aye, aye, Captain Fitz,” I saluted her before going into the trenches. Or the trunk of her car. They looked similar at any rate.

She was making herself a latte when I walked back in with the third crate of milk.

“Mrs. Fitz! I’m utterly shocked that you would waste company products for your own use!” I placed my hand over my heart dramatically.

“Ach. I bought the stuff. I’ll do wi’ it what I please.” And with that she took a sip, smiling the whole time. Should I tell her she had foam on her lip? “Help yourself? I need to speak wi’ ye for a moment.” I waved her off.

“I’m all right. What’s going on?”

“My nephew is moving back into town, and he was needin’ a job. I told him he could work here. Could ye train him a bit? Show him how everything works?”

“Mrs. Fitz…” I was feeling extra dramatic today.

“Claire, dinna…”

“I am appalled that you would use your position as owner and operator of this establishment to hire those you are close to. Where is the democracy?”

“Tis no a democracy. Tis a dictatorship.” Mrs. Fitz was the great-auntie I never knew I wanted. I couldn’t help but laugh at her wit.

“Of, course I’ll help. When is he coming?”

“This Saturday, he’ll be back.”

“I’ll be here. Oh, and Mrs. Fitz?”

“Hmm?”

“You’ve got some foam on your lip.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Saturday mornings were slow mornings. No one had to be at work. Well, besides me, I suppose.

I was leaning against the counter when the overhead door bell jingled. Perk up, Beauchamp. Don’t look like a slacker.

“First customer of the day! Congrats! What can I get for you?” I looked up at the man. I mean, really up. Could a man really be that tall, or were two kids pulling a Little Rascals on me? He leaned down, elbows on the counter. Now, I could really see him. Red curls. Blue eyes. Freckled nose. Was he made out of marble? I had never seen features so sharp.

“Are ye Claire?” His voice was like the honey I put in my Darjeeling.

“Yes, I am. Who wants to know?”

“I do. I’m Jamie. Mrs. Fitz is my great-auntie. She said ye’d be helping me? Learn, I mean.”

“OH! Of course! I’m sorry. Come in, come in,” I said as I lifted the flip-counter. He ducked under my arm to get through. “Sorry, that was a bit awkward. You could have lifted it yourself.”

“Aye, it’s all right. I appreciate the chivalry, madam.” He drew out the word ‘madam’ as long as he could. I bowed in return. He chuckled. We were off to a good start, here.

“So, Jamie what to you know about coffee?” His cat-eyes went totally round at the question.

“Well, ye drink it.”

“Mmhmm. And have you ever made coffee before?” I was skeptical that he had even heard the word coffee before today.

“Aye! I make it every day in my Bunn coffeemaker.”

“Bunns are for shmucks. This is the big league. Can you handle it?” He faked a look of concern before turning his attention back on me.

“Aye, I think so.” He nodded as if trying to convince himself.

“Can you take the heat?!” I was starting to sound like a coach, and he, my star player.

“AYE!”

“All right! Let’s start with espresso, shall we?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“So, you’ve grinded the espresso beans. Now what?”

“I put it in the machine…”

“No, no! You’re missing a step!”

“I tamp it!”

“Yes!” Jamie was a quick learner, his brain absorbing the things I said and did. Like a big ole ginger sponge. “You’re really getting the hang of it, especially for someone who didn’t even know what a tamper was when he woke up this morning.”

“It looks a bit like a weapon.” He rolled the bell shaped instrument in his hands.

“Perhaps to people with violent tendencies,” I said, giving him a pointed look. He just rolled his eyes. “How about you try to make yourself a latte or cappuccino?”

“Nay. I dinna drink lattes,” he answered distractedly, still playing with the tamper.

“Have you ever tried one?”

“No. I’m a simple man. Dark roast. Two sugars. Extra cream. These other drinks, they’re much too fancy for me.”

“Oh, Jamie,” I whined. “Be adventurous. Live a little!”

“Aye! All right! If it’ll get ye to stop squealing like a wee hog!”

“Did you just call me a hog?” I should be offended shouldn’t I?

“No, I said ye were like a hog. Big difference.” Yeah, definitely offended.

“Oh, well. Of course. Huge difference.”

“Oh, come, Sassenach. I was only teasing ye.” Oh, no, Mr. Fraser. You would not get off that easily.

“I know,” I mustered to most dejected voice. “No, big deal, right?” Could I fake cry right now? That would be the icing on this revenge cake.

“Claire, lass. Truly. I dinna mean it. Ye’re no like a hog. Ye ken that right?” God, that sincerity was killing me. I’d have to put him out of his misery…

“Oh, I know,” I perked up with a huge smile on my face. I’m pretty sure I was showing top and bottom teeth. Realization cam over his face.

“You wee-“

“Gotcha!”

“Ye’ll pay for that. Make no mistake.”

“Bring it on, Fraser,” I crooked my fingers at him, and then quickly let them fall. “Later. We have a task to accomplish.”

“Which would be…?”

“You. Drinking some frilly, fancy coffee you wouldn’t have otherwise.”

“Fine.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

               I decided to make Jamie my favorite specialty latte. 1 pump chocolate. 2 pumps almond. 2 pumps coconut. 3 shots of espresso. Extra hot. Whipped cream and chocolate drizzle. I handed it to him hesitantly.

“What did ye put in this potion?”

“Just drink it, Ron Weasley.”

He took a small sip, smacking his lips a bit and licking cream off his mouth. That motion was a bit distracting.

“So…?” He contemplated for a second, eyes studying the ceiling.

“Weel, tis a bit sweeter than I like…”

“But…”

“But, it’s no bad. Well done, Sassenach.” I blushed prettily and batted my lashes.

“They do say I make the best coffee in town.” This wasn’t a lie. Some people did say that.

“Do they now? Well, I’m glad I was adventurous and tried one of your frilly lattes.”

“Good.” We sat in silence for a few moments, as customers milled around. He was sipping coffee. I was day dreaming about that argument I had with a customer last month… What an arse.

“Claire.” Jamie broke me from my reverie.  

“Jamie,” I answered just as formally.

“Since I’m being daring, I’d like to ask ye a question.”

“Um, sure.” Weird, but okay. He took a deep breath.

“Would ye like to go to dinner wi’ me sometime?” That was definitely not the question I was expecting. I was thinking more along the lines of ‘Not to be rude, but why does your hair look like that?’ or ‘Can you help me bury a body?’

“I’m sorry?”

“Dinner. Wi’ me. Tonight, possibly?”

“I wasn’t expecting that, but yes. Jamie, I would love to have dinner with you.” I pleasant surprise, that was.

“Aye? Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Thank God. That could have been embarrassing. Is 7 okay?”

“7 sound perfect.” Jamie Fraser, prepare to get the pants charmed off of you.

Hopefully literally.

anonymous asked:

Beca Mitchell is a child prodigy, hot shot doctor, and youngest surgeon ever at Barden University Medical Center. She has no life to speak of outside of work. One night her best friend and coworker Aubrey Posen convinces her to go out and she hooks up with a cute redhead. She doesn't expect to see her the next day for orientation of the new medical students....

“Hey, Mitchell. What’re your plans for tonight?” Dr. Aubrey Posen leans against the locker next to Beca’s as the brunette starts to remove her scrubs in favor of her street clothes. 

“I’ve got some paperwork I’ll probably finish up and then I’ll probably go to bed. You know we’ve got a new batch of interns coming in and I’d like to try and mentally prepare myself for that.” Beca replies with a shrug. 

Keep reading

Grey's Anatomy//Teen Wolf AU

This is going to follow the first episode somewhat, just to get it started? Also, Braeden doesn’t have a last name so we’re pretending it’s Bailey too

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall, Kira Yukimura, Lydia Martin, Braeden, Reader.

You wake up and glance over at the man next you. You had a one night stand on the floor? You grab the blanket off of him and wrap it around yourself. You hit the man beside you with a pillow.

He grunts and opens his eyes, picking your bra up, “This is…?”

You take your bra and smile, “Humiliating on so many levels. You have to go.”

He sits up and looks at you, “Why don’t you just come back down here and we’ll pick up where we left off?”

“No, seriously. You have to go, I’m late which isn’t what you want to be on your first day, so.”

“So, ah..you actually live here.” He asks.

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Yes. Kind of.” You correct yourself.

He begins to get dressed, “Oh. It’s nice. Little dusty. Odd. But it’s nice. So how do you kind of live here?”

“I moved two weeks ago from Boston, it was my mother’s house, I’m selling it.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“You said was.”

“Oh! My mother’s not dead. She’s-..you know what, we don’t have to do the thing.”

“Oh we can do anything you want.”

“No, the thing, exchange the details, pretend we care…look I’m gonna go upstairs and take a shower, okay, and when I get back down here, you won’t be here, so um goodbye…um…”

“Scott.” The man nods.

You shake his hand, “Scott, right. Y/N.”

Y/N.“ He repeats.

“Yeah.” You say and he steps closer and you step back. “Mhm.”

Nice meeting you.“ Scott says.

“Bye Scott.” You smile and run up the stairs.

You’re waiting to see the resident you’ve been assigned to.

“Six women out of twenty.” You observe.

“Yeah. I hear one of them’s a model. Seriously? Like that’s going to help with the respect thing?”

“You’re Kira?” You ask her.

“Which resident you assigned to? I got Bailey.”

“The Nazi? Yeah, me too.” You nod.

“You got the Nazi? So did I. At least we’ll be tortured together, right? I’m Stiles Stilinski, uh, we met at the mixer. You had a black dress with a slit up the side, strappy sandals…” He looks at you.

You and Kira exchange looks.

“Now you think I’m gay.” Stiles sighs.

Kira walks away, “Uh-huh.”

“No, I’m not gay. It’s uh, it’s just that, you know, you were…I mean you were very unforgettable.” Stiles explains.

A doctor walks in the room, “Stilinski, Yukimura, Y/L/N, Martin.”

“And I’m totally forgettable.” Stiles mutters.

“Bailey?” Kira asks.

“End of the hall.” The doctor says.

“That’s the Nazi?” Kira asks.

She’s a small woman, extremely petite.

“I thought the Nazi would be a guy.” Stiles says.

“I thought the Nazi would be…the Nazi.” You raise an eyebrow.

“Maybe it’s professional jealousy. Maybe she’s brilliant and they call her the Nazi because they’re jealous. Maybe she’s nice.”

“You must be the model.” Kira deadpans.

Lydia gives Kira a look and turns to Bailey before extending her hand. “Hi. I’m Lydia Martin.”

Bailey looks her up and down and doesn’t shake her hand. “I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you and that’s not going to change.” She gestures toward a bench, “Trauma protocol, phone lists, pagers. Nurses will page you, you will answer every page at a run. A run, that’s rule number two. Your first shift starts now and lasts 48 hours. You’re interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain. You run labs, write orders. Work every second night until you drop and don’t complain!” She opens the door to the on-call room, “On call rooms. Attendings hog them, sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to rule number three, if I’m sleeping, don’t wake me, unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there, not only would you have killed someone, you would have also woke me for no good reason, we clear?”

You raise your hand.

“Yes?” Bailey looks at you.

“You said five rules. That was only four.”

Bailey’s pager beeps, “Rule number five, when I move, you move.” She runs down the hallway, leading the four of you. “Get out of my way!” She shouts at a couple of doctors.

She splits you up, leaving you as the intern on the case she was paged for. Her parents had questions, you weren’t sure who to ask.

“Katie’s parents have questions. Do you talk to them, or do I ask Boyd?”

“No, Boyd’s off the case. Katie belongs to the new attending now, Dr. McCall, he’s over there.” She points but you can’t see him. You take a few steps forward to see him and stop dead in your tracks. It’s Scott from this morning. You turn and quickly walk away, he looks at you and does a double take.

You run into him later in the hallway and he grabs your arm.

“Hey.” You start, he pulls you into a stairwell. Dr. McCall,-“

"Dr. McCall? This morning it was Scott and now it’s Dr. McCall?”

“Dr. McCall we should pretend it never happened.”

“What never happened, you sleeping with me last night? Or you throwing me out this morning? Because both are fond memories I’d like to hold onto.”

“No. There will be no memories.” You shake your head. “I’m not the girl in the bar anymore, and you’re not the guy. This can’t exist. You get that, right?”

“You took advantage of me and now you want to forget about it.”

“I did not take-”

“I was drunk, vulnerable, and good-looking, and you took advantage.” He interrupts.

You smile, “Okay, I was the one that was drunk and you are not that good-looking.”

“Well, maybe not today. Last night, last night I was very good-looking. I had my red shirt on, my good-looking shirt. You took advantage.

"I did not take-” You start again.

“You want to take advantage again? Say Friday night?” He raises an eyebrow.

“No. You’re an attending and I’m your intern. Stop looking at me like that.” You shake your head.

“Like what?”

“Like you’ve seen me naked. Dr. McCall, this is inappropriate. Has that ever occurred to you?” You push the door open and leave Scott in the stairwell.

youtube

Hog Call - Phil Moore Jr. (Right On, 1969)

more prompts !!!

send me a prompt & i’ll write one based off it.

  1. having their hair washed by the other
  2. sharing a dessert
  3. adjusting the others jewelry/necktie 
  4. injuring themselves while trying to impress the other 
  5. skype calls at 3am
  6. “you’re hogging the blankets!”
  7. “how drunk was i last night?”
  8. “did you eat all the popcorn?”
  9. “do you have a map? i keep getting lost in your eyes.”
  10. “do i look like a pillow to you?”
  11. “let’s play Titanic. you be the ocean, and i’ll go down on you.”
  12. “i meant to grab the popcorn, not your crotch, sorry”
  13. “you forgot to pay the electricity bill and now our lights just went off”
  14. “i’ve never slow danced before”
  15. “i needed to hear your voice”
  16. “feel my shirt. you know what it’s made of? boyfriend material.”
  17. “when are we gonna get to that kissing part?”
  18. “those bastards weren’t supposed to say anything yet.”
  19. “your lips look so lonely. would they like to meet mine?”
  20. "i suggested we play spin the bottle so i could kiss you, but now everyone else is kissing you except me”
stoner vld au

i was like “there isn’t enough of these out there i need more” so i’m making my own
-let’s start with lance
-he gets dumb af when he’s high
-super goofy, laughs at everything
-says ‘yooooo what the fuck’ at everything
-takes one two many hits off the blunt each rotation fucking asshole
-he’s super good at rolling blunts; not joints tho
-gets hella clingy
-fell asleep in keith’s lap once
-keith was too stoned to care
-keith
-keith gets quiet when he’s high
-he just kinda sits there and gets super deep in thought
-chill af
-when he does talk, his convos are super deep and he opens up abt himself
-kind of a softy
-‘wait i can hit the roach’ guy
-calls lance out when he hogs the blunt
-shiro
-shiro gets real when he’s high
-opens up a lot
-super chill
-Cool Stoner™
-tries not to be a bad influence on the others
-'i am NOT gonna let you guys smoke with me! or at all!!’
-but he caves and next thing he knows he’s packing a bowl as lance cackles
-'don’t tell allura’
-hunk
-hunk gets v paranoid when he’s high so he doesn’t smoke too often
-makes edibles for the others
-'guys. guys i made weed goo. out of the food goo guys’
-'HUNK YOURE A GENIUS ADDING GREEN TO THE GREEN’
-sober friend most of the time
-pidge
-'shiro it’s just weed. i’ve been smoking longer than you’
-'wait wha-’
-'NOTHING’
-other paladins give her shit for being so young
-'idk pidge. idk if we should let you smoke it wouldn’t be respons-OW’
-not taking ANY of lances shit
-falls asleep when high
-when she manages to stay awake she gets rly hot and always takes off her shirt
-'nice training bra’
-'ITS A SPORTS BRA’
-also eats everything

bonus allura + coran!
-allura
-'weed? aren’t those fast growing plants on earth?’ 'kinda’
-cries first time she smokes
-coughs SO much
-doesn’t know how to inhale properly and accidentally swallows the smoke
-what a mess
-BUT once she does get high she opens up
-'this is all so hard and i wish my dad were here and some other alteans i just-’
-and she’s crying again
-coran
-'hey coran wanna smo-’ 'no’
-smoked Space Weed™ during his college days (idk if space college is a thing or if coran went just bare with me)
-too old to do it now
-takes a couple hits
-'tastes very different from altean weed!’
-wtf coran ily

To Spock,

Would it be over kill to enact a ban on all forms of communication while the admirals are on board the ship? Because I’m starting to think this whole “clean language” rule might have been a bad idea.
Bones is getting a little TOO creative…

James T. Kirk
Captain of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701

———————-

To James T. Kirk,

I believe banning all communication on the ship for any period of time may hinder the ship’s ability to function.
“Creative”, sir?

Spock
Chief Science Officer and Second in Command of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701

———————

To Spock,

He called me a “hog washed, troll doll with the face of a klingon’s rear end and the singing ability of a deaf spring peeper”…

James T. Kirk
Captain of the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701

[3/?]