calico coat

You wake up lightheaded and nauseous in an unfamiliar room. You observe your surroundings and identify a faded lampshade with a failing bulb, a green knit design on the couch you woke up on, accented by a pillow that has a pool of drool freshly accumulated on it. The sepia walls are highlighted by the orange light of the setting sun. The muffled voices following a conversation’s tone ensue. You try, but can’t make out the words. One of them sounds maniacal and sad. After a few minutes of curious ambient noise you hear a soft, rhythmic tip tapping approach you from across the room until it reveals itself as an adolescent cat leaping upon your lap - she wore a lovely short haired calico coat with pink paw pads and a tail that seems to have been lost halfway down its length. You place your hand upon her back and she lies down and begins purring, eyes shut. The ambient conversation ceases and after a minute, footsteps are heard. The kitty’s ears perk up and her head follows shortly after in the direction of the only door in the mostly vacant room. The sound of an ambulance fills the air for a minute, drowning out any hint of footsteps. Soon after it fades, the room is discomfortingly silent, the kind of silence people describe as deafeningly loud. Without any hint of warning, two individuals you recognize kick the door down with unreasonable force. You scramble out of panic and the kitty scratches you and bounds off your lap as the force of a .12 gauge shotgun shell collides with the force of a speeding vehicle and tears your face to shreds.

My school: NT Central

I won’t disclose the name of my high school, but I’ll tell you that it’s one of the top STEM-centered public schools in the nation. For this reason, we attract NTs like lanterns attract moths (hence the nickname I’ve given it). The entire grade took a Myers-Briggs at the beginning of the year; my rotation is 94% N. Of that 94%, I’d say that roughly 75% are NTs, if not more. 

You can probably guess how our class discussions wind up: all the NTJs debating with the NTPs, with the NFs occasionally throwing in a far-fetched argument to spice things up. And to make things worse, I’m doing a group project with an INTJ guy (the class genius), an INTJ girl, and an ENTJ girl. Our group meetings always deteriorate to me and the INTJ guy arguing, usually over some trivial matter. Once, we almost came to blows over the placement of a comma (but I won that one).

Also, 90% of the kids at NT Central are socially awkward (like myself!). Perhaps because of this, the community and atmosphere at school is super accepting of almost everyone. You could do anything at NT Central and nobody would judge you. Everyone is so absorbed in their studies that they rarely even notice anything weird or out of the ordinary.

This is what our normal, non-debate class discussions are like–

*after a lecture on sex-linked codominance*

Biology teacher (INTJ): Can anyone think of some real life examples of sex-linked codominance?

ENTP: Calico cats!

Teacher: Correct! Does anyone know why female calicos end up with–

INTJ: *interrupts* X-chromosome inactivation.

INTP: But why would the patches be visible if each cell chose to deactivate its X chromosomes independently? Wouldn’t that just make the cat look dark orange because the cells are so close together?

Teacher: *opens mouth to answer*

INTJ: Because cells deactivate early in development, so every cell descended from that cell will share same phenotype, creating relatively large and thus visible patches.

ENTP: So, theoretically, since the cells decide randomly, could you have an all-black or an all-yellow calico cat?

Teacher: Yes, but–

INTJ: The odds of that are roughly one in a trillion.

ENTJ: But what’s the point of having a plain-colored calico cat? It defeats the purpose of calico-ness–

INTP: What do you mean, the “purpose of calico-ness?” There is no purpose to calico-ness. It is not an evolutionary trait–

ENTP: It could be, actually, if calico coats provide better camouflage–

INTP: –and even if it had evolutionary value, the definition of “purpose” is too ambiguous–

ENTJ: *pulls out dictionary* Quoting Merriam-Webster here, purpose is “the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.” So everything must have a purpose, or it would not exist.

INTP: Then, according to you, the purpose of calico-ness would be to help cats live, right? But then, what is the purpose of a cat’s life?

INTJ: To survive and reproduce, as is the case with all life–

INTP: But what is the purpose of surviving and reproducing?

*entire class lapses into silence*

ENTP: So, INTP, what you’re getting at is the notion that nothing has a purpose at all?

ENTJ: But then, nothing would exist…

*cue existential crisis*

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. Do any of you have similar “NT Central” experiences?