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Reblog with your sign and your favorite member of the Velvet Underground

cale-blopez  asked:

Ok so is there any "correct" way to eat rye bread?? Like with any toppings or with a specific meal? I want my first time trying rye bread to be correct. Cheers!

First you must hike by foot to the birth place of Taarapita the almighty in Kaali, Saaremaa. There, you must weave flower crown from cornflowers, while singing ode to barn swallows.

If you have followed these steps correctly, Taara will step out of the lake and you have to prove your might by heating sauna to perfect temperature, while at the same time kneading dough for future rye breads. 

Once sauna is ready and fitting to the standards of Taara the almighty, you must beat yourself with young birch branches and then only when your mind and soul feel ready, jump into the lake. Once you emerge from the lake, you will be handed a white linen made of barn swallow tears.

Then and only then can you take first bite of rye bread.