who cooks: bro makes instant food for the both of them but lil cal tried cooking once and made smuppet soup and bro cried.
who does the laundry and other chores: bro does the laundry and is willing to do the other chores but when he goes to do them he finds that everything’s already put away and cleaned and taken care of and lil cal’s just sitting in a chair in the middle of the room staring at him
how many children do they have: well technically dave i guess
who’s more dominate: lil cal i’d have to say because pretty much everything lil cal says goes. bro is actually surprised he doesn’t mind.
favorite nonsexual activity: dressing up in ridiculous costumes and having epic battles on the roof. these battles usually go on for hours and typically end in lil cal needing repairs and ripped maid outfits.
their favorite place to be together: i imagine that it would probably be on top of the tower of their apartment building alone where they can talk in private or in dave’s bedroom hanging out and bugging him together.
any traditions: when dave was younger bro and cal would take him on trips on the weekends to wherever he wanted in the world and just like how bro and cal can magically disappear in thin air they’d take dave with them and have crazy weekends together as a family. then on monday dave would go to school and tell everyone about all the stuff they did in thailand but all the kids would laugh and tell him he was making it up so sooner or later he didn’t want to go on anymore trips. unu
their “song”:girls just want to have fun okay but hear me out. bro would be playing it just to piss dave off in the summertime but lil cal would suddenly start moving erratically and bro would stop and say, ’ cal, are you dancing…?” and then he would just chuckle and pick him up and start waltzing and it would sort of be an inside joke from then on
what they do for each other on holidays: haha i actually think they’d do absolutely nothing out of the ordinary other than be a little more affectionate with each other. like on valentines day bro will just wake up with lil cal wrapped around his neck and maybe a cake that was taken from john’s house (yes cal snuck in unnoticed)
where did they go for their honeymoon: okay so my headcanon is that they left dave alone for a day (he was really happy about it actually) and went and visited the beat mesa which bro would later crack in half with his katana in canon and basically had a day alone together. ;u;
where did they first meet: ahhh i feel like this mentioned in canon somewhere? like dirk having been left lil cal from his big bro?? anyways dirk doesn’t really have anyone to talk to other than his 4 internet friends so i’m sure he would really open up to cal and wouldn’t even realize that it was strange to talk to a doll.
any pets: dave
what do they fight over: usually over dave’s well being and his growing dislike of puppets.
do they go on vacations, if so where: all the time man and they never pick out the place in advance they just sort of whiz off and go wherever the wind takes them