Whipping Boy Calamity || A Jesse Pinkman Fanmix, in more or less a chronological downward spiral || Listen Here
| 1. To the bastard talking down to me / Your whipping boy calamity / Cross your fingers / I’m going to knock it all down | 2. But tell me if I’m dreamin’ / Cause I don’t wanna wake up till the evenin’ / And I don’t wanna be left sleepin’ / From all the diseases that I breathe in | 3. Jane says it’s a long way out / But I’m gonna’ make it out / ‘Cause I’m about her … I met the devil at the bottom of a wishing well | 4. Or a vision of her body as she stretches out on your bed / She raised her hands in the air, asked you / When was the last time you looked in the mirror? / Cause you’ve changed | 5. I once stepped on a dying bird / It was a mercy killing / I couldn’t sleep for a week / I kept feeling its breaking bones | 6. No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue / I could not foresee this thing happening to you / If I look hard enough into the setting sun / My love will laugh with me before the morning comes | 7. Oh no, I have changed | 8. I see our enemies / I see them on their knees / Crawling across the floor / You kill them all | 9. Tried to fight it / But soon I gave in / down the road with no lights on / When you can’t describe it / and you don’t move like them / you become their worst nightmare | 10. Ms. Jones taught me English, but I think I just shot her son / Cause he owed me money, with a bullet in the chest you can’t outrun |
Strange is the world Why should men receive life in this world? Men’s lives are as meaningless as the lives of insects The terrible folly of such suffering A man lives but as briefly as a flower Destined all too soon to decay into the stink of flesh Humanity strives all it’s days to sear it’s own flesh In the flames of base desire Exposing itself to fate’s five calamities Heaping karma upon karma All that awaits man at the end of his travails Is the stench of rotting flesh That will yet blossom into flower It’s foul odor rendered into sweet perfume Oh, fascinating The life of man Oh, fascinating
She contains calamity within her. You’ll never see it more serene.
Her world was in a state of devastation. She consumed it all and grew. And grew. And grew. Eyes kissed by a distant flare, she rose. Embraced by miles of reckless seas, she drank deep and was filled. The wind still screams her name, a roar that sounds like music if you’ve got the courage to embrace it. She is raw. She is nature. She is small, but only when she wills to be.
There’s no chaining the elements. Only an intimate alliance with their forces.
She contains calamity within her. If you doubt it? Hear her laugh.
An Anon asked us to make a G/R ramp deck, and since they didn’t specify what they’d like to ramp into, Land Destruction seemed a fun choice since you folks seemed to really enjoy our other LD brew. It makes LD all the more gratifying when you have tons of mana and they have none. I’m a huge fan of going overboard, so there’s 27 cards that destroy lands in this deck. Here’s some stuff for wrecking friendships.
A lot of people suggested this for the other LD deck, but neither of us had known about it. It is fantastic in an LD deck. With very little effort and early game, it can do 3-5 damage on top of destroying a land. With them fetching on top of only 10 cards in this deck not destroying lands, it should be dealing a lot more. It’s honestly gonna be one of the more reliable win-cons for the deck.
This card is just rude in the absolute perfect way. We get to destroy their land, and get ourselves a land. Hilarious, in my opinion. It’s to land what Siege Rhino is to life, you’re instantly creating a two land gap. Frenzied Tilling has the same effect for 1 more CMC, but it can also fetch mountains. If the deck had Stomping Grounds, we’d drop Frenzied Tilling and move up to a playset of the Acid-Moss.
This Deude is everything we could ever want and more, sitting at 5 CMC in our colors with 6 power, Trample, and an on point ability. They really are going to need to answer him. And the thing is, with 27 cards that blow up lands, it’s our plan to not have them answering/playing anything.
Detritivore is very strong and will easily be hitting double digits in power and toughness, but we don’t just want it for its body. It’s a little slower than good old fashioned sorcery speed LD, but once we wipe out all of their lands he’ll literally be destroying their land drop every turn as long as it’s non-basic. And it’s Modern, so most decks don’t even run more than a handful of basics.
Alright, for sideboard we’re really just gonna move some LD around. Cryoclasm and Peak Eruption will go in against any deck with R or U/W. That’ll give us a ton of 3 CMC spells that deal damage and wreck lands against two really popular decks, Delver and Twin. Wreak Havoc will go in against decks with counterspells, just to make sure we can get some LD through if we start off slow. Also, Creeping Corrosion would be good to have against Affinity. They start off a little too fast for LD to be quite as relevant.
“He could never shake the calamity of time from his face, nor the persisting ache of life from his demeanor. Without knowing a thing about the man, you would look at him and think “My God… he survived all that?””
Stage notes from “Lilytooth”, a work in progress