cal morgan

"Disappearing Dad Disorder" excerpted from YOU TOO CAN HAVE A BODY LIKE MINE by Alexandra Kleeman

Recommended by Harper

Excerpted from You Too Can Have A Body Like Mine

Issue No. 170


I had started dating C a couple years ago, during the fall when fathers began vanishing from out of their comfortable, middle-class homes. For the first few weeks, local newscasters read out the list of the newly vanished each night along with the location in which they were last seen, and it sounded like they were reading from a master catalogue of legitimate, reasonable names, names like “Peter” and “Steve.” Ted Hartwell, Matt Skofield, Dennis Galp. None of them knew each other, and there was nothing to link them except that they were all equally average. Telephone poles and store windows went white with fliers depicting men in interchangeable hairstyles, clad in polo shirts, all traces of fun leeched from their faces long ago. They wore confused expressions in the pictures selected by their family members, as if none of their kin had cared to warn them that photographs were going to be taken. Their confusion made it seem as though they had been lost for a long time, much longer than they had been gone.

Read the full story here!

Read Electric Literature’s interview with Alexandra Kleeman here.



About the Author

Alexandra Kleeman is a writer and scholar based in Brooklyn, NY.  Her short fiction has appeared in journals such as The Paris Review, Zoetrope: All-Story, Conjunctions, BOMB, Gulf Coast, and is forthcoming in Guernica. Her nonfiction has appeared in Tin House and Golden Handcuffs Review, and is forthcoming in n+1. She received her MFA in fiction from Columbia University, and has received grants and scholarships from the Bread Loaf Writers Conference, Virginia Center for the Creative Arts and the Santa Fe Art Institute. She is currently completing a PhD in Rhetoric at UC Berkeley.


About the Guest Editor

Cal Morgan is executive editor at Harper, editorial director at Harper Perennial, and board chair at The Center for Fiction.

HarperCollins Publishers is one of the world’s leading English-language publishers. Founded by brothers James and John Harper in New York City in 1817 as J. and J. Harper, later Harper & Brothers, today HarperCollins is a broad-based publisher with strengths in literary and commercial fiction, narrative nonfiction, children’s books, cookbooks, business books, mystery, romance, pop culture, design, health, and religious and spiritual books. Its authors include winners of the Nobel Prize, the Pulitzer Prize, the National Book Award, the Newbery Medal, and the Caldecott Medal.



“Disappearing Dad Disorder” is excerpted from YOU TOO CAN HAVE A BODY LIKE MINE by Alexandra Kleeman by permission of the author. Copyright © 2015 Alexandra Kleenman. All rights reserved.


Want it on your Kindle? Click below!

“One dark night I spilled my secrets to him, on a road thick with summer heat. I was the girl who tried to steal his money then. Now, winter looms, and I’m the girl who stole his life.”
@vaveyard , Glass Sword 

the office au
  • the company’s called thornhill industries. they sell security software
  • harold’s the ceo
  • root’s his assistant
  • harper’s the office secretary
  • carter and elias: human resources
  • zoe, anthony, cal beecher: PR
  • john, fusco, leon, shaw: sales
  • jason greenfield, daizo, daniel casey: IT
  • dani gets brought in as the new intern
  • everyone sees the tension between root and shaw. they know it’s only a matter of time
  • root’s always flirting, shaw’s always rolling her eyes
  • it would’ve happened years ago only they’re both too stubborn to be the first to make a move
  • they’re also both idiot losers who don’t think the other is really interested
  • there’s an office-wide betting pool
  • the will-they-wont-they has been going on for years, so the pool just gets bigger and bigger
  • everyone tries to get them super drunk at the holiday parties in hopes that one of them will finally make a move
  • so far, no luck
  • leon’s the one dumbass who thinks it’ll never happen. the poor fool
  • he and shaw have a particularly intense rivalry, so he doesn’t think shaw is capable of soft human emotion
  • finch also bets against them. he knows root too well, and thinks they’ll just dance circles around each other endlessly
  • anyways, the shaw/leon rivalry is intense
  • no one remembers how it started, but their desks are right across from each other and they love to give each other a hard time
  • LOVE it
  • sometimes their coworkers get caught in the crossfire
  • fusco once opened shaw’s desk drawer to borrow a pen while she was in the other room and ended up getting glitter bombed
  • it’s been three years and he still finds glitter on all his clothes
  • cal once accidentally grabbed leon’s lunch out of the staff room fridge instead of his own. by the time he realized someone had added a layer of glue to the pb&j it was already too late
  • harper gives dani the tour on her first day, introduces her to everyone, shows her around the building
  • dani very quickly develops a crush on root
  • who can blame her? root’s a shameless flirt
  • poor dani isn’t very good at hiding her feelings—she gets flustered too easily around pretty girls—so root knows Immediately
  • she starts lingering by dani’s desk. calling her into her office to help with menial tasks
  • asking her to stay late for this and that
  • dani’s so far gone. shaw’s pissed
  • “give the kid a break, root. you’re torturing her”
  • “do i detect a hint of jealousy, sameen?”
  • shaw scoffs. “that’s contempt. you’re stringing this poor kid along, letting her think she’s got a chance—“
  • “who says she doesn’t?” root challenges
  • she really does think dani’s cute. she likes her. the similarities to shaw are undeniable, but root becomes fond of her on her own
  • they go on a few dates
  • everyone thinks it’s very cute
  • well. not shaw
  • shaw takes to sharpening knives at her desk
  • “im just looking out for the damn kid, john,” shaw huffs
  •  one day dani comes bouncing into the office with a dopey grin after her lunch break and everyone knows she just got smooched
  • shaw leaves early that day
  • root breaks it off, after a few months. she tells dani she’s wonderful, but she’s hung up on someone else. dani lets out a huge sigh of relief
  • “oh thank god. i didn’t know how to tell you, but i think im in love with harper”
  • root sets them up
  • they’re the cutest couple in the office. the gaybies
  • everyone ships them
  • sends them fruit baskets. honorary toasters. they haven’t even moved in together yet
  • they get a dog together after a couple years and elias thows a baby shower
  • the day that word of the breakup gets around, shaw gets a memo from root asking her to stop by her office before she leaves for the night
  • shaw makes her wait all day
  • finally stops by like 30 minutes after everyone else has gone home just so root has to wait
  • doesn’t even knock on the door, just walks right in
  • “root”
  • “sameen”
  • they stare at each other for a moment. shaw waves her hand impatiently
  • “did you have something or were you just gonna waste my time?”
  • root glances at her watch “actually, we’re right on time. grab your coat”
  • “on time? for what?”
  • “we’re getting dinner, shaw. a date. im told that’s ‘what two oblivious idiots do to work through their shit’”
  • “……..carter?”
  • “carter. backed up by, apparently, all of our coworkers. they signed a petition”
  • the IT boys make bank the next day. after five years the betting pool has really added up
2

‹‹ 𝐒𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 ››, 
‹‹ 𝐂𝐚𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡, 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 ›› 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗏𝗒 𝖺𝗌 𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍. 𝖲𝗈 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 ‹‹ 𝐈 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 ››.
 
  { 𝖱𝖾𝖽 𝖰𝗎𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝖻𝗒 @vaveyard

8

November 8, 2009. 

Hands-down GOAT Stanford x Cal (x kellex) game: 

X

KO in her headband phase, and she was wearing a red one. Matchy-matchy with Alex.😻😻😻

Except for the hat trick, of course. Sorry Alex. ⚽️⚽️⚽️

Too much to get into. Brianna Bak, Alicia Jenkins, Ali Riley & KO at the coin toss…Ali at Amanda White’s heels…Allison McCann x Baby Horse…Mariah Nogueira and Baby Press celebrating KO’s brace (two consecutive headers)…KO celebrating for three…UNDEFEATED. 

—at least for another month.

The Wicca/Sweep series by Cate Tiernan and why you should read it

OKAY SO.

I’ve just reread the Wicca books by Cate Tiernan (the series is called Sweep in the US). Mostly as something soothing (rereading is always soothing, it’s like reading with your eyes closed. kind of.) and because I’d been eyeing it for a while. And I’ve gotten a big rush of how much I like it, and I wish it had a bigger fandom (what is it with me and tiny fandoms lately, srsly). So here is the breakdown of what it is and why you should check it out. 

The Plot

So I’ve recced this to a few people irl, and unfortunately as we live in a post-twilight literary world, there are a few things I need to make clear straight away. First, though you could legit describe this series as “like twilight but good”, it actually predates Twilight easily. Second, I’m gonna spoil a plot twist because if you don’t know this is going to happen there is no reason to keep reading - or, like, there was when I was a teenager and didn’t make Twilight-ish assumptions about what was going on, but I can very easily see people junking the books without getting past this first bit. So here we go:

Meet Morgan! Morgan is our protagonist. She’s a tad stereotypical - she’s not traditionally pretty, kind of awkward, sixteen years old, and a maths nerd. Her family is catholic, and so is she, though she doesn’t seem particularly intense about it. Her best friend is Bree, and Bree is one of those automatically stunning girls. Morgan is cool with this, everything is fine. Except this year at school, there is a Hot New Mysterious Boy called Cal. Morgan gets a super crush on him, but assumes there is No Hope.

Cal organises a party, and it turns out he’s a witch. They do a circle, and Morgan basically feels like the whole world just opened up inside her brain. To cut a long story short, it turns out she’s actually got a super-awesome magical inheritance. Also, Cal kisses her and they start dating.

At this point, if you’re reading her and Cal with an eye on the relationship dynamics, it doesn’t look great. Cal never reaches Cullenish levels of unsettling behaviour (at least, not while they’re actually still dating), but there are a few red flags, particularly as Morgan becomes more isolated from her family and friends. But Morgan thinks everything is very romantic. Cal is her rock. And what did she do to deserve this? She is very lucky. Uh huh. Some of you are probably shaking your heads now, and thinking H, why are you telling me I should read fifteen books of this relationship?

But NO, dear reader. Because in BOOK THREE, Cal tries to kill Morgan (that escalated quickly) and then becomes, basically, a villain for the rest of the series. Because it turns out all those red flags were written in as red flags and not as “romance”. And then we get Morgan dealing with this and steadily becoming a stronger person and it is AWESOME.

Flaws

Okay, it’s not the most perfect book series in the world. It gets kind of purple-prosey in places, and there are definitely places where I noticed that virtually every chapter ends with either a ^gasp^ cliffhanger or with “omg magic love hearts hearts my soul”. So there’s that. To be honest, to me it mostly reads fairly realistically - ie, “I am sixteen and I genuinely feel this intensely about this” - but I would totally get that as a stylistic thing that’s gonna put some people off. Also, it has the “Friends” problem - I enjoy all the relationship stuff, that’s done really well, but the logistics of how the fuck half of these people are actually paying rent (and international airfare) are kind of out the window. 

GOOD STUFF

SO MANY THINGS I LOVE ABOUT THESE BOOKS. I’m gonna make a list. 

1. MORGAN. Morgan’s a great protagonist. She starts out a bit snippy, a little too keen to compare herself to other girls, and kind of insecure. Across the series she slowly develops her confidence - and although one of the last scenes involves her getting kind of dressed up, it’s not ever really made out to be about her appearance. It’s all about how she feels about herself. And she’s a great balance between scared-as-shit by everything that’s going on and confident enough to put her foot down when she needs to.

2. Hunter Niall. So Hunter is (spoiler) Morgan’s second and more-permanent boyfriend. Hunter’s great. The series is set in America, and Hunter is British, somewhat ambiguously (which I find mildly hilarious lol). My favourite thing about Hunter is probably that Morgan, externally, takes a while to warm up to him - he’s a bit reserved, a bit intense, and she’s not quite sure what he thinks about her to start with, but you get a lot of gush from Morgan about how she feels about him. And then, suddenly, in book ten, you get Hunter’s Po. And you are hit in the face with a page and a half of “so that’s morgan. she’s my girlfriend. she’s so great. she’s so badass. oh god I made my hair stick up funny. oh god. she’s smilling look at that smile isn’t she incredible wow. okay okay I’ve got this. I’m cool. hey morgan. hi. I love you. omg she’s so amazing” because Hunter is a GINORMOUS DORK and he just loves her SO MUCH. And idk, I found that really refreshing to read as a teen? Which brings me on to:

3. Morgan and Hunter’s relationship. They screw up a lot, they upset each other, but they always talk it out and figure it out. And I’m so convinced by their relationship? Like, because it’s such a slow burn, it feels more realistic to me. There’s no “our eyes met and BAM” even though this universe does include the concept of soulmates. They’re both absolutely smitten with each other, and it’s not subtle, and they have to do quite a lot of negotiation to get their dynamic the way they’re both happy with it, and idk you folks it just makes me so happy. Because it feels real, purple-prose and all.

4. Alisa! Alisa is one of the only other characters who gets narration. She’s a younger girl who finds out something about her own family, and she gets a whole book to herself (and splits one other book half and half with Morgan). She has a very similar story to Morgan’s in some ways, but she’s still great to read, and I really enjoy her books when I get to them. She’s also half-Latina, I think. 

5. CONSENT IS A THING IN THIS UNIVERSE. LIKE, PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IT AND IT’S A THING THAT IS DISCUSSED AND THAT IT CAN GET MESSY WHEN PEOPLE ARE CONFUSED AND FEEL PRESSURED AND PRESSURE IS BAD and also if you’re morgan’s little sister and someone is pressuring you to have sex she will literally hit them with a baseball bat so there’s that too

6. LGBT rep - it’s not central, there aren’t main characters who are LGBT. But Morgan has an aunt who has a girlfriend, and they feature fairly regularly; and another two female members of Morgan and Hunter’s coven end up dating at one point. Unfortunate incident of “the b-word” being clearly avoided, as it’s likely that Sky and Raven are both bisexual, but it’s never absolutely written on the page. It’s not a whole lot, but I really liked that this was actually in here, and it’s just a normal part of the world? Like, this is a het romance story, but that didn’t mean that EVERYTHING ELSE had to be het. Which I appreciate.

And as a bonus to all of this stuff, you’ve got battles against the forces of evil, world-saving, and the logistical problems of trying to do those two things while keeping your grades up. A few bum notes, but all around a great little series that doesn’t get nearly as much credit as it deserves, and is a lot funnier and takes itself less seriously than the tag for it on tumblr might suggest (sorry folks, but it’s literally two-thirds full of melodramatic quotes. bring out the humour!). 

So yeah. Magic, Actually Decent Relationships, Romance, Teen Angst, Fun. One of my favourite teen series. 

H

Songs and People

Handclap by Fitz and the Temptations: Cole


I Don’t Dance by Lee Brice: Alex


Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira: Pace


Riot by Three Days Grace: Grayson


Bad and Boujee by Migos: Cal and Morgan


Seasons of Love by the cast of Rent: Will


Shape of You by Ed Sheeran : Taryn
Fireproof by Coleman Hell: Jamie

Brave by Sara Bareilles : Robbie
Dirt Road in ‘Em by Aaron Pritchett: Konner

2

November 8, 2009. Remember that year Stanford Cardinal completed the first perfect regular season (20-0) in conference history? That Kelley O’Hara scored a hat trick—her second that year—in their twentieth match? That it was against Cal? And that Alex Morgan spared the Golden Bears a shutout, rebounding a goal from a penalty kick she initially missed?

“It was definitely a good day. We beat Cal, check. Undefeated season so far, check. Pac-10 Championship. It was good.”
—Kelley O’Hara