cal 36

73/100 Days to skinny

Weight: 86.6

Total Calories: 285


>Breakfast (64 cal total)

  • 3 tbsp kroger 100% liquid egg whites (25 cal)
  • ½ cup green giant riced cauliflower (10 cal)
  • 41g steamed asparagus (9 cal)
  • ½ package organic roasted seaweed snack (15 cal)
  • 1 tsp sriracha hot chili sauce (5 cal)
  • 1 mug chai green tea (0 cal)

>Afternoon Snack/Pre-workout snack (140 cal total)

  • 1 tsp homemade cinnamon vanilla almond butter (36 cal)
  • 69g blackberries (29 cal)
  • 8oz silk unsweetened almond milk (25 cal)
  • ½ scoop raw protein & greens vanilla protein powder (50 cal)

>Dinner (81 cal total)

  • 1 cup organic baby spring mix (6 cal)
  • 85g roma tomato (20 cal)
  • 85g radishes (15 cal)
  • 15g greek olive mix (40 cal)
  • Red wine vinegar (0 cal)
  • 1 mug lemon water (0 cal)

Water: 1L


  • Food-based calcium with magnesium & vitamin d
  • Women’s once daily wholefood multivitamin
  • Zerbo’s easy iron supplement


  • Walking (on campus/10000+ steps!!)
  • Stretching
  • 30 min treadmill
  • 11 min elliptical
  • 65 ab crunches
  • 20 lateral pull-downs 

Notes: IT FINALLY HAPPENED I WENT TO THE GYM TODAY!!!! It felt so good working out, even though I didn’t do anything high intensity because I haven’t been to the gym in so long. I did just over a mile on both the treadmill and elliptical, and gradually increased resistance on the other two machines. I was a dumbass though cuz I forgot to bring water with me lol. I’m for sure going to make a habit of going, but I think I’ll only be able to go on Tuesdays because of my school schedule. Today was a really good day overall for me. I woke up feeling well rested and refreshed, I got to school early, therapy went well, the gym happened, and I planned out all of my meals last night so there was no stress in preparing them for today! Today was good, so good. 


Send me requests!!

Request: 36 with Cal (it was also asked with luke but i realized that i haven’t written anything about my pup so that needed to be adressed immediately)

You’re worried. When Ashton is feeling under the weather, he gets closed off and asks for some space, and when he’s had some time for himself, he’s good again. Luke is all kicked puppy soft blue eyes and needy cuddles until he feels better. Michael is pure restless energy until he falls apart, usually in Luke’s arms, and once he’s cried it all out and received the praise he needs, and then he goes back to his insufferable self.

Calum… Well, Calum is different. He is, all in all, a better actor. He’ll do things as usual, performing to perfection, partying and laughing at everyone’s jokes and just being Calum except…except he isn’t.

You can’t even pin-point it exactly, but something’s missing. Maybe he takes a millisecond longer to respond to people, or maybe his smile is half a shade as bright as usual. You don’t even know how you noticed. But you’ve been in love with the Maori boy for so long that maybe you’ve grown atuned to these minuscule details, enough that you can tell when something’s wrong.

And right now, you’re worried. You’ve been with the boys for about a week, joining them on tour as their best friend, and already the second day you realized something was off. It might not seem different to anyone, not even his bandmates, but to you it feels like he’s just going through the motions. .

You’re sitting in the backroom of the tourbus, waiting for the boys to come back from their show. You left early, only staying for the soundcheck, because the boys’ lifestyle is taking a toll on you and you’re tired. And you’re not even the one performing every night. You truly don’t understand how they do it.

You hear them the instant come in, rauccous laughter and yells filling the otherwise silent bus. You stay on your laptop, expecting Michael to burst inside or something, but they stay at the front of the bus.

To Callum: What you doing? waiting for you guys :(

From Callum: clubbing maybe

To Callum: Ew no

You’re really not up to it tonight, and you hope this will make Cal consider staying behind as well. He needs some time off, and you hope you can maybe get him to tell you what’s been bothering him.

But about twenty minutes after you heard them come in, the door shuts behind the guys, and you receive a message from Cal.

To Callum: went out, see you after x

With a sigh, you turn back to your computer. Guess he didn’t want to confide in you.

It’s around one am when you wake up. You’ve always been a light sleeper, so the shuffling and hushed giggles of the boys as they go back to their bunks doesn’t fail to rouse you. You notice how Luke and Michael fall into the same bed before closing the curtains, and you have no doubt they’re going full cuddle-session.

As for Calum, he slips into his bunk soundlessly, and your heart squeezes in your chest at all the small hints he’s dropping and that everyone is failing to pick up on. Everyone except you.

You worry your lip for a few minutes as you hear everyone quieting down, and one after the other their breaths even out. Except Calum’s. You hear a little sniffling sound and you swear your heart stops for a second. You hold your breath and listen closely, and sure enough the tiniest of sobs come from Calum’s bunk.

“Cal?” You whisper out, and instantly you hear him inhale sharply, his cries stopping. “Cal get in here.”

There’s a few beats of silence before you see his shadow get out of his bunk and into yours, slipping underneath the blankets with you. You face each other for a few seconds and you smile softly, brushing your fingertips against his cheek and collecting the few stray tears there. You then trail your fingers through his thick, dark hair, soothingly playing with the inky strands as you wait for him to speak up.

“I feel alone,” he whispers, and you almost tear up at how heartbreaking his vulnerable voice sounds. “Mike and Luke have each other, and Ashton has Bryanna, you know? But I–”

“You have me,” you say, your voice low and fierce. “You’ve always had me, and you always will. You can tell me anything, I’ll always be here for you.”

In the darkness you see a few tears trickle down his cheek.

“I’m just not as important as the others, you know? I don’t have the same talent, and I’m not as pretty or funny and the fans don’t like me as much.”

“Cal,” you cut him off, warningly. “That’s bullshit, and I have a million ways to prove it but it’s late and you’re sill half-drunk and you need sleep. So we’ll do that tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay,” he whispers, and after a few seconds of silence: “Cuddle?”

Immediately your arms are around his neck and his are around your waist, pulling you close and breathing in your familiar, comforting warmth.

“You’re okay Cal. I’ve got you.”

He draws a shuddering breath, his face nuzzling in the soft spot between the crook of your neck and your shoulder.

“I know. Thank you.”

And when you feel his chest rise and fall steadily, you spell your secret out to the night, waiting for the day you’ll be able to say it to him without fearing his reaction.

“I love you.”

Part 2