buying-the-space-farm  asked:

"Accidentally capture the wrong base"? .....tell us more? Please?

this was before we got agent agent back as our handler, and part of the reason why he finally turned up for work again. 

so the thing about clint is that hes 1. not a good listener and 2. hes deaf. mostly. these are separate issues because being mostly deaf doesnt stop him from understanding what people are saying most of the time, it just means that you have to be sure he knows youre trying to communicate with him before you say something. (and also that you should make sure your mask doesnt cover your mouth so he can lipread, but whatever.)

we had this agent—incredibly boring guy in the worst sort of way–who’d requested clint, nat, and i for an op. nat and i were supposed to hit two of the leaders of a crime syndicate while clint got the third. easy peasy, kill some guys, free some hostages, small country liberated, total cakewalk. but the agent running the op and the briefing took FOREVER. he was talking us through like none of us had ever overthrown a country before, explaining every minute detail. nat and i could just kinda zone out and let things wash over us, picking up the pertinent details, but clint cant really do that. his hearing aids help but they weren’t perfect, so he also had to be kinda lipreading just to keep up. which takes a lot of focus for incredibly boring info. naturally he zoned out too.

which was how he missed the fact that his guy was not actually staying in his incredibly fortified base-slash-villa. his hostages were, but he wasn’t. 

luckily, they covered this in the briefing packet we were each provided with, which was a mere 362 pages. 

so obviously none of us actually read it.

we poked through, got blueprints, guard schedules, alarm systems and so on, but didnt bother with most of the rest of it. 

they dropped us in the air over each of our respective targets, clint last. i had the cliffside resort, nat had the downtown headquarters, and clint had the base-villa. nat and i handled ours like pros, of course, corpses everywhere, and clint did too–mowed right through the security, got the hostages, and then called in that his syndicate leader wasnt there, what the hell, who gave me this bad intel.

which was when he was informed that the big bad wasnt IN the villa, he was on the ISLAND ACROSS from the villa, and that hed been supposed to covertly infiltrate the beach house there and quietly capture him. ideally without ever setting foot in the villa; he was just supposed to steal a boat from the villa docks and not get spotted by security. 

unfortunately, clint had blown up all the watercraft at the villa’s docks to keep syndicate members from escaping. which meant he still had to get to the island and capture this guy, but now there were no motorboats left. and if this syndicate jerkoff got away, fury was gonna have his hide.

and thats how clint wound up launching a one-man amphibious assault on an international crime syndicate from a paddleboat.

and also why clint reads his briefings now. 


#byebye #cherokeedass #teamdass #evansville #indiana #lovingmydress #cakewalk 👀👀👀👀😃😍😍😍😍😍

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TBT Tampa 🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂 #cakewalk #cherokeedass #thickandnatural

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Most people say “cakewalk” to mean an easy or simple task, a battle against an enemy that won’t put up much resistance. But originally it was a sadistic old-timey dancing game for slaves. Cakewalks were essentially dance-offs for a chance of winning, yes, a cake. While that sounds delightful, the reality was … less joyful than its name would imply. That’s because it was a party game for slaves – and they didn’t really have a choice in the matter.

5 Things You Say Often With Horrible Historical Origins


Thanks you to everyone that came out h town to @foxxys_gentlemen_club to book me for your next club event email #cherokeeedass #cakewalk #realazz

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The Cakewalk was a dance that was performed by slaves at get togethers on plantations. There are many theories as to its origin, one being that slaves borrowed the dance from the Seminole Indian tribe. The dance caught on in society in the late 1800’s and at the end the couple who performed it best was awarded a cake. First performed only by men, it became the fashion to have women participate in the 1890’s at which time the dance reached epic and ridiculous proportions.

anonymous asked:

I hear you, my friend. Once you've endured the anti Reylo crowd, shipping another Tumblr-hated ship seems like a cakewalk. You browse your ship's tag, see some negativity, and think "Wait, that's it? Is this what the antis are saying? Where is the REAL vitriol?" I think everyone should spend some time being a Reylo shipper so they can master the art of handling ship hate lol. Which ship are you talking about, by the way?

The anti-Reylo crowd is on a whole ‘nother level of violent hatred. I’ve never seen anything like it outside of politics. There’s a great psychological case study about mob dynamics and projection in there somewhere.

But yeah, they’re a master class on how to weather ship hate. The ship I’m getting into (Betty/Jughead, a.k.a. Bughead) has some hate, some of it for VERY legitimate reasons re: ace erasure, but what I’ve seen is so, so mild compared to the anti-Reylo movement. Like, I honestly feel like if I were crossing the street and an anti was driving and knew I shipped Reylo, they’d speed up.

Like you said, everyone who’s having a rough time with ship hate should just kind of hang out with us for a week. We got this.

@uxbosaliked for a starter!

He just casually waltzes into Gerudo City. The guards probably didn’t see him through the line of perspective, he is entirely two-dimensional after all.

It wasn’t until townsfolk actually did see him, and guards started to swarm him, he didn’t seem to mind the disarray until spears were pulled on him.


It was only natural that he would start defending himself with a chair(?) pulled out of hammerspace. In fact, all their appearances reminds him of his first encounter with Ganondorf, they all look like him sans the bright clothing and opposing gender.

anonymous asked:

it's okay like sure I didn't get the best understanding when I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety but it's better than telling people I'm bipolar, or borderline, or hell a narcissist. like I'm called 'crazy' and then some gendered slurs, I've had guys dump me on the spot, tell me it's not real and be down right scared of me. I deal with it everyday people saying how awful I am, how people should never be friends or in relationship with me.

HONESTLY like yeah w depression ppl might b like “haha ur jst faking” bt w bpd? u might b refused treatment, medically abused, socially ostracised, demonised, hav ppl end relationships w u, abuse u nd thn blame it on ur disorder, etc etc. like i never said depression ws easy bt in comparison? a cakewalk

meleedamage  asked:

asks for fanfic writers: 13, 20 & 25. P.S. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!! 😍😍😍

13. hardest character to write

This dude right here.

Originally posted by amazonvideouk

I used to think that Bucky was the hardest because he basically has three personalities. Okay, four. Four personalities. There’s pre-Zola Bucky, post-Zola Howling Commando Bucky, Winter Soldier, and Sad Backpack Bucky. I used to be like O.o

He’s a damn cakewalk compared to Ivar. Ivar kinda feels like I’m writing both Loki and Bucky at the same time. Because like with Loki, I have to be careful with Ivar. If I’m writing him in a romantic relationship, I try to not make him dark to the point where he’s straight-up abusive. And I have to say this, to each their own, seriously, but for me, I cannot write abusive relationships and then have the pair end up together. And so I struggle with keeping him in-character. The good thing is, Ivar does has a gooey squishy middle, he has canon squishy sentimental moments. He has the total capacity for decency. Especially with certain people. it’s all just surrounded by murder. 

And then he reminds me of Bucky because Ivar has a few personalities as well, but also because he’s disabled. Well, sort of. Bucky is modified, which is it’s own thing. But while writing Bucky you always have to think of his arm, the logistics, how Bucky is feeling about it, etc, and with Ivar you always have to think of his legs. 

He has been challenging. Getting me out of a comfort-zone, especially pairing him with an original character, and I already feel like a better writer because of it. Worth it. 


20. favorite character to write

Right now my fave character to write is my OC in Turn the Tide. Sig. IT’S SO WEIRD, like I was totally lazy and just used a name from For the Laughs because I didn’t feel like going on a Norse baby name website to look for the perfect one, because while Sig was the villain in that story, I always really loved the name. Now I love her. She’s the heroine. 

And I’m gonna have to go back to For the Laughs and write her as a villain again ;-) 

25. favorite line you’ve ever written

It either has to be Darcy and Jane’s “Fucky” exchange in For the Laughs or this from Classic Combo:

“Peanut butter and chocolate are exactly like sex and love … both fine on their own, but so much better when combined,” she splayed her hands, miming an explosion.