cakesniffer

i keep remembering random things from this series that had totally slipped my mind and i’m always astonished at how iconic it was… may i remind you:

- there was a salmon themed restaurant and all the food was salmon, all of it, frozen salmon chunk ice cubes
- the baudelaires escaped prison with a bench, a loaf of bread, and a jug of water. also it was klaus’ birthday
- the tagliatelle grande
- esme chased the orphans in a hospital records room, wearing stiletto knife heels and pushing fileing cabinets on them
- olaf was gunna cut off violets head in front of an audience, klaus and sunny saved her with alphabet soup
- cakesniffers deer god. cakesniffers
- the snow gnats that like?? ate people’s skin??
- violet and klaus pretended to be a two headed person. sunny pretended to be a half-wolf child
- sunny climbed up an elevator shaft with her teeth
- the snow scouts and their alphabet pledge
- esme’s lettuce bikini. also a dude flipped over sunbathers with a giant spatula
- vfd left each other secret messages in jelly what LEVEL of extrà
- the ENTIRE 13th book… the sheep on the island. they only drank fermented coconut milk and everyone was stoned all the time. kit arrived on a giant raft of books with the snake and the baudelaires helped her give birth. the library under the apple tree and violet thought “lemony” was such an ugly name

Lemony Snicket Sentence Meme

“Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.”

“I suppose I’ll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.”

“The sad truth is the truth is sad.” 

“I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.”

“Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it isn’t so.”

“This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.”

“As I am sure you know, when people say ‘It’s my pleasure,’ they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There’s nothing on Earth I would rather do less.'”

“There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.” 

“If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.” 

“Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.” 

“This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?” 

“I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.” 

“Can’t we sleep ten minutes more? I was having a lovely dream about sneezing without covering my mouth, and giving everybody germs.” 

“I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.” 

“How can someone so wonderful do something so terrible?” 

“There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them.” 

“Normally it is not polite to go into somebody’s room without knocking, but you can make an exception if the person is dead, or pretending to be dead.” 

“Every night I give a violin recital for six hours, and attendance is mandatory. The word 'mandatory’ means that if you don’t show up, you have to buy me a large bag of candy and watch me eat it.” 

“It has been said that the hardest job in the world is raising a child, but the people who says this have probably never worked at a comb factory or captured pirates on the high seas.” 

“Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences.” 

“Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it before.” 

“Summer without you is as cold as winter. Winter without you, is even colder.” 

“I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!”

“I am so tired, I can hardly type these worfs.” 

“You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!” 

“The last time I saw you, I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!” 

“Get out of my way, you cakesniffers!”

“Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won’t hit you with a shovel.’ Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite.”

“When things don’t go right, go left.” 

Opinion: Carmelita Spats

Okay so I’ve seen a couple of posts commenting on this previously, but I feel like it’s a massive thing and really shouldn’t be overlooked.

We all know that Carmelita is a ‘Bad Kid’. She’s rude, vain, spoiled, more than a little annoying, and she’s a bully. She’s a recognizable figure from many people’s childhoods, with cakesniffer as the substitute for whatever cruel name this kind of child called the reader or someone the reader knew at school.

But she’s still a child. At most, she’s Violet’s age, and because of the maturity that the ‘good’ children show in the series it’s easy for us to forget how young they really are. However bad Carmelita’s behaviour is, it’s likely there are lots of children who are rude and annoying and even bully others at her age. That behaviour needs addressing, but doesn’t entirely preclude her from growing up into a reasonable human being.

And the older I get, the more I wonder: where are her parents? What happened to her to make her behave the way she does, seek attention the way she does?

She teams up with Olaf and Esme, who are dreadful people by anyone’s standards and definitely old enough to know better, because they voluntarily tell her how special she is. She’s completely drawn in by the two villains, perhaps not because she herself is inherently villainous, but because they like her, despite all of the awful things she does. Maybe she just wants someone to love her. Looking at the scene above through that kind of lens, isn’t it a bit heartbreaking?

Their encouragement (well, Esme’s at least) makes her even worse, makes her threaten to shoot Violet Baudelaire with a harpoon gun, but is it any wonder, if they’re the only available role models she has?

I’d like to think that if anyone escaped the Hotel Denouement fire, it was Carmelita. Because no matter what she did, she was still a little girl, and she didn’t deserve to be punished so harshly. Out of anyone, she deserved another chance.

If anyone else has any thoughts on Carmelita I’d love to hear them, I’m full of feels for her right now!

Things I’m ready to see in A Series of Unfortunate Events Season 2:
-The Quagmires
-“Cakesniffers”
-Esme Squalor (I’m so excited for her costumes and how they’ll portray her)
-Isadora’s couplets
-Hector!
-Hopefully more of Violet inventing things
-The hospital
-Everything to do with the carnival. The “freaks”, Olivia, the disguises.
These books were near to my heart when I was little and seeing a mostly accurate depiction of them is making me so happy. (the only inaccuracies being more information on VFD/ added characters and the ending of book 3 into book 4). Plus can we talk about how racially diverse this cast has been? Like it shouldn’t be a big deal but I find it so amazing that they are casting people of different races as the relatives when they didn’t have to. And the fact that Daniel Handler is writing most of the episodes and executive producing! I have so much faith in where this series is going and cannot wait for season 2 and 3

I use the word "cakesniffer" ALL THE TIME, you guys.

detectivefancypants answered: CAKESNIFFER OH GOODNESS. What kind of phrase/word do you want?

I don’t know, so far I’ve considered “ravenclaw”, “oh golly”, and “love me dead”.


heroineoftime answered: I would get “pieceofshit.” That’s probably just me.

I really like this idea, but I’m trying to get my dad to pay for them, and if he disapproved of “cakesniffer”, I doubt he’ll let me get that. Welp.