okay @marywisdom I now need a fic of Leonard Snart going to the WestAllen wedding.
Technically, he and Mick and Lisa weren’t invited, but that doesn’t matter, he forged an invitation and said that Barry’s third-removed cousin couldn’t make it, so he told them to go and have fun
Barry pulls Len aside and begs him not to ruin the wedding and Len is so offended
“As if I would ruin Iris’ special day, Barry. What kind of person do you think I am?”
Len and Mick in matching tuxes with little fire and ice lapel pins, Lisa in a gorgeous gold dress with matching jewelry
Lisa takes so many pictures at this wedding, so many. Of the bride and groom, the families, the reception, the cake (the cake has a glamor shot)
Also, she winked at Cisco from where he was standing with the grooms and there’s a great picture of him blushing.
She sat next to him during the reception
They danced together
Len and Mick are food snobs, you can’t tell me otherwise, especially Mick, and they manage to smuggle out three trays of hors d’oeuvres for later because that catering was damn good.
also they each got an extra piece of cake
“good job on finally tying the knot,” mick says, frosting in his teeth as he slaps Barry on the shoulder.
LEONARD SNART GIVES A TOAST TO BARRY AND IRIS
everyone’s slightly nervous and on edge because oh god
but it’s such a - nice - speech?
he mentions how Iris is the perfect person to balance out Barry, how she doesn’t take any shit and always finds a way to get things done regardless of the pressure on her head.
and that Barry is a good person and it rubs off on you whenever you spend too much time around him (”look at me,” he jokes) and that he wishes nothing but the best for both of them
and just when everyone starts tearing up he narrows his eyes and sends Barry a sneaky glare
“You better not screw this up, Barry, I’m only giving you one warning, or you’ll get frostbite in places where you really don’t want it. Iris, you call me if he messes up. Mazel tov.”
When Barry and Iris open wedding gifts later, they find an envelope with literally four thousand dollars in unmarked, non sequential hundred dollar bills with the note “don’t spend it all in one place ;)”
“p.s. don’t bother dusting for prints ;)”
Lisa gave Iris a beautiful gold necklace that has a huge amber crystal pendant. Iris’s thank-you note thanked her for the gift and let her know that she was sorry she had to return it to the museum.
[text] Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
[text] The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
[text] He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
[text] I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
[text] So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one’s for Team USA.
[text] He gave me the “find somebody who wants to date you for who you are” speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
[text] I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
[text] I just got high off one hit and then Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refrigerator and researching ways to replace it
[text] Seriously. I’m like, “Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you’re so fucking intelligent I’m turned on?”
[text] Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
[text] He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I’m keeping him.
[text] I’m making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
[text] It’s a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
[text] Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I’ve been waiting for this moment forever.
[text] Lesson learned. Don’t roleplay with a real knife.
[text] We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman’s birthday party for the food. Whoops.
[text] He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
[text] I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I’d say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
[text] I’m wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
[text] He’s like… An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It’s almost unsettling
[text] I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I’ve found the One.
[text] Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while… if you happen to find your balls then join us
[text] i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”…
[text] and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered “Simba”
[text] so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
[text] Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
[text] Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
[text] We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sounds logical. Thank you daylight savings.
[text] when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was “chug-a-lug”
[text] There’s a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
[text] Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
[text] My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
[text] He told me he loved me. I didn’t know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
[text] Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
[text] Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
[text] He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
[text] we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I’ve ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
[text] I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man’s heart.
[text] When was the last time you wore pants?
[text] I’ve replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
[text] Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
[text] Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
[text] Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
[text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
[text] I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how’s your day going?
[text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today.
[text] We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What’s wrong with this tradition?
[text] all i’ve had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
[text] Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don’t exist?
[text] Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
[text] And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
[text] This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the “High While Analyzing Disney Movies” texts begin.
[text] Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won’t quit poking me on fb
[text] I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
[text] One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won’t be me. I’m drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
[text] You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
[text] im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
[text] just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
[text] I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
[text] Let’s play a little game called “Chill the Fuck Out” - you’re our first contestant
[text] Didn’t get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
[text] I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
[text] you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
[text] tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
[text] We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
[text] maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
[text] i think its awesome that according to your mom i’m your friend that caught on fire.
[text] So fucked up. Can’t tell if I’m starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
[text] I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
[text] Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
[text] you traded sex for a burrito?
[text] I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
[text] You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
[text] it’s not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
[text] You’re always adorable, but when you’re drunk, you’re like Chia Pet adorable.
[text] this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
[text] I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
[text] I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old’s Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
[text] It’s like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it’s gummy bears and instead of milk it’s vodka.
[text] You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
[text] Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
[text] we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying “i mean who doesn’t like cheetos”
[text] quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
[text] I left a cheeto on everyone’s car trailing to the house i’m at, hanzel and gretel style.
[text] Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
[text] nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
[text] When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
[text] kinda considering buying a life alert for sophomore year
[text] My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
[text] Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
[text] you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing ‘follow the yellowbrick road’. i’m pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
[text] It’s like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
[text] did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
[text] The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
[text] I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
[text] You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
[text] I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
[text] So I woke up today with someone’s door knob in my pocket. I hope everybody else got out of the house ok.
[text] So we successfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
[text] Because when I say 'You shouldn’t drink anymore’, she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks’
[text] okay, this game isn’t funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
[text] The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
[text] when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
[text] so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
[text] You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
[text] never. drinking. again.
[text] I’m gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
[text] got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
[text] I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
[text] i’m out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
[text] Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Summary: Kat tries to surprise Tom with a birthday cake, but it ends in a disaster
Warnings: Some very very minor mentions of sexual content.
Author Note: A quick little birthday drabble for our birthday boy.
As Kat stared at the kitchen in horror, she tried to figure out where it had all gone wrong. She had followed the recipes exactly. When the first hadn’t turned out, she found another. And then the boxed recipes couldn’t possibly be a disaster, right? The boxes were liars and Kat refused to believe anything else.
Smoke still rose out of the oven, even after the burnt to a crisp cake had been pulled out and tossed on top. The alarm was still ringing in her ears, again, though Kat couldn’t be sure if it wasn’t just now a permanent fixture of her hearing. Three cakes. How had she destroyed three cakes?
Summary: You’re Corey Graves little sister, but you secretly have a crush on his best friend, Baron Corbin. But Baron seems to hate you and always makes little comments to Corey about him always dragging you along. He wins his first championship and runs into you where another argument begins before some sexual tension is relieved.
* * * * *
Your brother was Corey Graves, and because the two of you were close, he would often bring you to WWE shows and events with him. So, of course, he had brought you with him to Wrestlemania, the biggest event of the year. You were standing backstage with Renee and a few of the other girls while Corey was at ringside doing commentary.
You saw Baron pass you on his way to Gorilla for his match.
He scoffed and rolled his eyes as he glanced at you.
“Did Corey really have to bring you along?”
“Do you always have to be an ass?” You retorted.
“Just stay out of the way.” He said as if he thought you were going to ruin the show or interfere somehow.
“Why don’t you just focus on Ambrose?” You said with a smirk.
“Don’t worry about that, princess, he’ll be a cake walk.”
You immediately shot him a glare. You hated when he called you princess. There were a lot of things he did that bothered you, but that one always seemed to get under your skin. You were not a child! But that’s all Baron treated you as. A child. Just his best friends, little sister. You hardly ever talked to him, and when he did, it was snarky comments or rude remarks. And you didn’t know what you ever did to make him hate you? You hardly talked to him? What on earth could you have possibly done to make him hate you so much?
“Is that why you got moved to the Pre-Show?” You challenged.
The smirk immediately left his lips as he looked down at you.
“You better watch what you say.” He said.
“Or what? What are you going to do? Hurt your best friend’s sister?”
“Corey isn’t here to fight your battle for you,” Baron said.
“I don’t need Corey to fight my battles for me. I can handle myself just fine.” You said.
“Corbin, five minutes!” One of the backstage producers yelled from down the hallway.
Baron rolled his eyes at you and then turned and continued making his way to Gorilla.
“God he is so annoying!” You groaned as you turned back to the girls.
“What’s with you two? You guys are always going at it.” Renee said.
“He’s a jerk! He is always like that to me. I don’t think he’s ever said one nice thing to me! It’s like he only sees me as Corey’s little sister like I’m a kid or something. He thinks he’s God’s gift to wrestling and he’s not!” You said as you let out some of your frustration.
“You sure it’s that? You sure seemed to eye his muscles there.” Becky said with a smirk and a nudge to your arm.
“Me? Eye him? Never. He’s so full of himself. What would anyone see in him?” You asked, hoping to cover your real feelings.
You had been crushing on Baron since you first met him. His long hair, his muscles, his tattoos. He was perfection. But you couldn’t let anyone know how you felt, especially your brother. You would never be able to look at your brother again if he found out you had a crush on his best friend. And besides Baron obviously had no interest in you what so ever, unless it was to pick an argument with you.
You stood backstage with the girls and watched Dean and Baron’s match. You knew that Baron was getting some steam behind him, but you were shocked when he hit Ambrose with the End of Days and hooked the leg for the 1-2-3.
He snatched the belt from the ref’s hands and held it above his head as he looked into the camera with a smug smirk.
As much as you hated to admit it to yourself, seeing him with that title in his hands and that smug grin on his face with his hair pulled back and sweat dripping down his chest over his tattoos and muscles made you wet. That attitude of not giving a crap what anyone thinks of him made you more excited than you’d liked to admit.
You were standing backstage talking to Natalya when you saw Baron making his way down the hallway with the IC Title slung over his shoulder and that smug smirk still plastered on his face. You were hoping he would just keep walking so that you wouldn’t have to have another argument but he stopped in front of you with a smirk.
“Told you Ambrose wouldn’t be a problem.” He said.
“You think you’re so great, don’t you?” You challenged him.
“I don’t think. I know.” He said before flashing you another smirk.
“Guys, I’m out of here. I can’t take listening to another argument between you guys.” Natalya said as she turned and walked away.
That left you and Baron alone for the first time all night. You had no idea what to say. He looked down at you expectantly like he was waiting for something? What was he expecting from you? A rude comment? Congratulations? One thing for sure was that you knew you couldn’t let him know how turned on you were from the sight of sweat running down his chest and the Intercontinental Championship hanging off his shoulder.
You opened your mouth to say something, but he cut you off.
“Save it. I’m not in the mood for this right now, Y/n.”
“Really? You just won the Intercontinental Championship at Wrestlemania, and you’re still in a bad mood, Corbin? You’re so ungrateful! You know how many guys would kill for that?”
“Whatever.” He shook you off as he turned to walk away.
“Such a dick.” You muttered under your breath.
You didn’t mean for him to hear you, but he did. And you saw his head snap up and look at you and when you looked into his eyes, there was a fire that you had never seen before.
“Don’t test me, Y/n.” He said as he took a step towards you, causing you to back up until your back hit the concrete wall behind you.
You swallowed and then decided that you weren’t going to back down. You weren’t going to let him do this to you.
“Or what, Baron? What are you gonna do? You gonna hit me?” You challenged as you put your hand on your right hip.
“I think you secretly want me.” He said.
Your eyes widened at his words. Where did that come from? You weren’t sure what you were expecting him to say, but it definitely wasn’t that!
“And your face tells me, I’m right.” He said with another smirk.
“In your dreams Corbin. You’re crazy if you think I want you!”
“I think I make you crazy. I see how nervous I make you. How you always look down when I’m around. I think you want me. I think you want me to shove you up against a wall and kiss you just to shut you up-“
You didn’t mean for it to come out but you couldn’t stop the little whimper that escaped your lips.
He took a step towards you closing the gap between you. He put his hands on your waist and leaned down. His lips were just inches from yours when his eyes moved to yours.
“Just say the words.” He whispered.
“Kiss me.” You said.
Within a second his lips were on yours, and he was pushing you up against the wall. His lips were soft, but the kiss was rough. You had imagined what kissing Baron would be like for so long. And now it was happening. He pulled away from the kiss, before lifting you up and throwing you over his shoulder as he walked down the hallway to his locker room.
He shut the door and immediately pushed you up against it before putting his lips on yours again. His tongue slipped into your mouth as he reached down and grabbed the back of your thighs and you wrapped your legs around his waist. Your hands moved to his hair, lightly tugging on it.
He let out a deep groan and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of you pulling on his hair. His lips moved from your down to your neck where he started sucking on the skin.
“Take your shirt off for me, baby.” He said as he pulled away to catch his breath.
You reached down and pulled your shirt over your head leaving you in just your bra.
“Fuck,” Baron said as he eyed you before his lips made their way down to your chest, lightly nipping at the soft skin of your breast that wasn’t covered by your lacy strapless bra.
He reached behind you and unclasped your bra with one hand letting it fall to the floor. He put his hands on your ass for support as he carried you over to the couch in the room before laying you down and climbing on over you.
His lips went back to your breast as he slowly kissed down your chest again, one hand massaging your right breast, his other hand holding tight on your waist.
“Touch me. Please.” You breathed out.
“Yeah? You want me to touch you, baby?” He said as he pulled away from your chest.
He reached down and unbuttoned your shorts before hooking his fingers into them and the waist of your panties. He slid them down your legs, and you saw him lick his lips as he looked down at your exposed pussy.
“God, you’re perfect.” He muttered more to himself than to you.
He reached down, and you felt him run his finger up the wetness of your pussy, teasing you.
You lifted your hips up to meet his hand, hoping to relieve some of the tensions.
You were cut off by him sliding a finger all the way into you. You closed your eyes and laid your head back against the armrest as you took in the feeling of his finger pumping inside you.
“That feel good, baby?”
“Y-yes,” you moaned out. “S-so good.”
He then slid a second finger inside of you, causing another moan to escape your lips. He pumped his fingers fast and hard and then leaned down and softly sucked on your clit.
“F-fuck Baron…d-don’t stop!” You moaned out as your back arched off the couch.
“I’ve been waiting so long to see you squirming under me. Fuck you’re so sexy!”
“I’m so close, Baron.”
He added a third finger at your words and started to flick your clit with his tongue. It was enough to send you over the edge as your head rolled back and your back arched off the cushion as you came on Baron’s mouth.
He licked up all of your juices and helped you through your high until you calmed down.
“Think you can do that one more time for me? Only on my dick this time?”
“Yes. Please fuck me, Baron.”
He laughed before he stood up to take his boots and ring tights off. You expected him to climb over you but instead, he sat down and grabbed your hand.
“Want you, to ride my cock,” he said as he pulled you onto his lap. You straddled him and took his cock in your hands. It was hard, and the tip was oozing precum.
You slowly slid down onto him, feeling him stretch you as you sunk down further. Baron let out a deep groan and grabbed your ass as his head rolled back. You lifted your hips and then sunk back down, starting slow but quickening your pace.
Once the uncomfortable feeling went away, you began to bounce quickly up and down his cock.
“That feel good? You like fucking yourself on my cock, baby?”
You nodded as you bit your lip to hold back your moans.
“Don’t hold back, baby. Wanna hear you say my name.” He said as his hands helped guide your hips faster.
“Baron,” you moaned out.
“Fuck that’s hot,” Baron said as he thrust his hips up to meet yours.
“Come on baby, you gonna cum for me?”
You nodded. “I’m so close.”
“Come on Y/n, cum for me. Cum all over my cock.” He said.
He then reached down and ran his thumb over your clit. You felt the knot in your lower stomach burst as your orgasm hit you. Your muscles clenched around Baron and he came with a loud groan just a few seconds after you.
You collapsed onto his body, your forehead resting on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around your waist. The only sound in the room was your heavy breathing as you both struggled for air.
“Shit, Y/n, didn’t know you had it in you.” He said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked as you pulled away to look at him.
“Thought you were an innocent good girl.” He said as he looked into your eyes.
“Well, you were wrong.” You said.
“I like you, Y/n.” He said.
“I like you too, Baron.” You said as you felt the blush creep to your cheeks.
Your eyes widened as you realized what had just happened. You had just had sex with your brother’s best friend. Corey would kill both of you if he found out.
“What? What is it?” He asked.
“He doesn’t have to know,” Baron said.
“It’ll be our secret, okay? And if he finds out, I’ll take care of it okay?”
“Shh, it’ll be fine.” He said as he leaned forward and pecked your lips to calm you down.
“So you don’t hate me?” You asked.
“No. I’ve always thought you were cute. Just didn’t think I had a chance. Thought you hated me and you were my best friend’s little sister…” he said.
“I thought you hated me. You’ve never said anything nice to me.” You said.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’ve treated you like shit. And you didn’t deserve it.” He had said before he gave you another peck. He then reached up and put his hand on the back of your head deepening the kiss.
He pulled away and looked at you with a smirk, “round two in the shower?”
“Definitely.” You said before you kissed him again.
“Try to keep it quiet this time you filthy animals!” You heard Sami Zayn say from outside the door.
“Shut it Zayn!” Baron said with a smirk before he stood up with you in his arms and made his way to the shower.