cake jokes!

Asexual problems:
  • Me: Holy crap they're so hot!
  • Friend: Wtf aren't you asexual?
  • Me: Oh, sorry. I mean "holy crap they're so pretty!"
  • Friend: Again, aren't you asexual?
  • Me: ...
  • Me: I'm sorry I forgot that being asexual also makes me blind.

Shout out to the ace community for telling me that there were different kinds of attraction, for talking about what attraction was, for allowing me to ask whether I might not be Straight, for being accepting even before I knew what I was yet, for never saying I wasn’t queer enough to be queer, for being the first to tell me that queerness was allowed to be silly cake jokes and not just something horrific or taboo. Ace and aro people have done so much for the queer community, and deserve all the acceptance and positivity. You rock!

  • Tom: Someone wanted this to be seen.
  • Harry: Yes, but that just raises a bigger question.
  • Tom: Oh, and what is that?
  • Harry: Why do you even care?
  • Tom: I'm sorry, are you asking me why I care that a woman was killed?
  • Harry: No, I'm asking why YOU care that a woman was killed.
  • Tom: Forgive me, but I don't follow.
  • Harry: Well, let's see, most people would (charitably) refer to you as the crown prince of douchebags, long making reign. Your usual reaction to human suffering is to pull up a chair and crack out the popcorn. What's your angle?
  • Tom: Harry! I am shocked and appalled that that is your opinion of me. All I want is to see justice served and to bring that poor boy some closure.
  • Harry: Really? You care that much, huh? What's his name.
  • Tom: I'm sorry, what?
  • Harry: The guys name. What. Was. It.
  • Tom: Well, um, you know, it was, um, sta- uh, starts with an A-
  • Harry: S.
  • Tom: S, of course, of course. That's close, I mean they're basically neighbors, you can understand my mistake.
  • Harry: Of course.
  • Tom: It's uh, s- sna- snasna- uh- snack cakes?
  • Harry: Snape!
  • Tom: Alright, fine, God, I just wanted to prove I was right. There's no way that girl's really dead. There's something else going on here, and I'm gonna prove it.
  • Harry: Wow, how noble of you.
  • Tom: Oh, spare me, Wonder Boy. You're only doing this to prove me wrong.
  • Harry: Hey, at least I pretend to be nice to people!
  • Tom: Yeah, whatever- wait. Pretend?

Seriously though when aphobes say cake jokes are cringy or that we “stole” dragons, they’re trying to make it so a-specs feel like we can’t or shouldn’t have light-hearted representations of ourselves. And then they say that more serious positivity is “discourse.” If we play by their rules, we don’t get anything positive at all. If we play by their rules, the only context we or anyone else sees us in is “debates” about whether we have any right to exist.

We’re people, dammit. We’re not invaders or boogeymen or evil “apologists” or whatever the propaganda of the day says. We get to make jokes and be nice to each other and eat desserts and do fun things. We get to be happy or cute and present ourselves as such, if we want, because we are, we’re allowed to be that, we’re not bad, we’re not some horrific danger that has to agree to a muzzle to be let into anything and we should resist attempts to portray us as such.

We exist. We are people. We are allowed to be people. I’m going to take my cake and ice cream and dragons and words and I’m going to be happy and queer and you can’t stop me.

LGBT Culture: creative, unique, beautiful. centuries full of art, music, and literature, formed from years of opression

Ace Culture: composed of a weird imitation of LGBT Culture combined with internet fandom culture. hasn’t existed for more than a decade or so. literally just cake jokes online and hardly exists outside of the internet