cake for two

instagram

.

6

Real Food from Zelda: Breath of the Wild Part 1

Link can make it, so can you! Check out the links below.

  • Spicy Pepper Steak: Beef steak and duck breast marinated in a spicy chipotle marinade and cooked quick in a hot pan, complete with a yummy pan sauce. 
  • Monster Cake: Two layers of easy as heck to make chocolate genoise cake layered between blackberry and espresso Bavarian creams. 
  • Goron Spice Curry: A recipe for a custom spice blend and curry in one! Chicken legs and potatoes are stewed lovingly in a spicy coconut broth, served along a super easy pilaf. 
2

i mADE SODA’S CHOCOLATE CAKE AND OMFG ITS SO GOOD 100/10 HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY SODAPOP

Sodapops let down
  • Curtis Parents: What do you want for your birthday soda?
  • Soda: A pony!
  • 
*Curtis parents walking through the door with a newborn ponyboy.*
  • Cutis Parents: Look Soda! We named him Ponyboy!
  • Soda: The fuck is this thing? That’s not what I asked for.
Normal Horoscope:

Aries: Oftentimes it is not you who gets to decide wether your butt looks good or not, though you do get the tiebreaker.

Taurus: Cynicism and optimism have their place. That place is mashed together into a confusing Frankenstein of a conversation. Gotta keep people on their toes.

Gemini: Your toothbrush is a mimmic, a mimmic that really cares a lot about your dental hygiene.

Cancer: There is magic in cleaning your home. Not fiery kaboom type magic, more the now your house is clean kind of magic.

Leo: As you sit there, thumbing through your phone, something watches you. Something with dead eyes and rotted legs. Do not look up, it will see that as a sign of aggression.

Virgo: Whatever is carving your name into your belonging will stop if you read up on financial literacy, seriously debt management is important.

Libra: Look “dress for success” does not mean “cover yourself in gold paint”. The stars and I see what you were going for though.

Scorpio: Watch your tongue. It has its own agenda.

Ophiuchus: Due to a clerical error, all Ophiuchans can talk to cakes form the next two weeks or so if they concentrate real hard.

Sagittarius: Invoke your right to duel. Invoke it without warning or cause. Kill people with a rapier. Kill unsuspecting people with a rapier.

Capricorn: When all falls apart, follow the money.

Aquarius: I don’t care if it works, a thong is a silly thing to enchant.

Pisces: Make sure it’s a real angel of ephemeral night. Ask to see ID. Ask to see their nightmare mount. Protect ya neck. Wu Tang.

Zelda Fruit Cake


Yields two 8-inch cakes

The things you’ll need

Ingredients
  • 6 egg yolks
  • 6 egg whites
  • 1 cup sugar
  • ½ cup water
  • ½ cup oil
  • 1 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon almond extract
  • 2 cups all purpose flour
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • ¼ cup sugar
  • Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, oranges, limes, and honeydew melon for decoration
Equipment
  • 2 large mixing bowls
  • Medium mixing bowl
  • Hand mixer
  • Rubber spatula
  • Two 8-inch cake pans, sprayed and lined
  • Two 8-inch cake boards
  • Offset spatula
  • Cutting board & knife
  • Sweetened whipped cream in a decorating bag with tip cut off
  • Sweetened whipped cream in a decorating bag fitted with #824 tip

Let’s get started!

  1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
  2. In a medium bowl, whisk together egg yolks, 1 cup sugar, water, oil, vanilla extract, and almond extract.
  3. In a large bowl, mix together flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
  4. In another large bowl, beat egg whites until frothy and then slowly add ¼ cup sugar while beating. Once combined, turn beater to high and beat until stiff peaks form.
  5. Mix the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and then fold in egg whites in three parts.
  6. Pour the batter into cake pans and bake for 35 minutes.
  7. Once cool, level cakes to 1-inch thick.

Let’s get started!

  1. Cut strawberries into 4 equal slices and shingle them onto the top of the cut cake in circles. Pipe whipped cream between the strawberries.
  2. Place the second cake on top, cut side down, and then frost the entire cake in whipped cream. Refrigerate for 1 hour.
  3. Cut cakes into 6 slices and decorate cake with 3 rosettes on the edge of the slice. Decorate the top with fruit.
  4. Dah-na-na-na-naaaah! You received the Fruit Cake from Breath of the Wild!

I don’t even know. I was taking a walk today and this idea popped into my head. I swear I’m still writing the bookstore AU, too. Also, *pops confetti*, I hit 2k followers today! Who ARE all you guys? Anyway, this fluff/ridiculousness is for you. ~1.6k words, rated G. Sterek, of course.

now also on AO3

The whole thing starts with Stiles really, really craving a meatball sub from the place across the street.

“God, someone shut him up,” Erica groans. They’re all kind of at their breaking point by now; they’ve been camped out in this meeting room all day, brainstorming. “He’s been talking about the same goddamn sandwich for seven and a half minutes now, and it’s making me hungry.”

“If only our ad campaign were about sandwiches, Stilinski would have it in the bag and we could all go home,” Isaac sighs.

From across the table, Derek rises abruptly to his feet and storms out. (Or maybe it’s just that Stiles always interprets everything Derek does as stormy. With those eyebrows, it’s hard not to.)

Stiles assumes he’s just gotten so fed up with them all that it’s either storm out or kill someone, and he’s just grateful Derek chose Door Number 1. It’s a good day not to get killed by Derek Hale.

Only, fifteen minutes later he comes back in. With a paper bag from the deli.

As soon as he gets within grabbing distance, Stiles practically collapses across the table in his haste to reach for it. “Oh my god, is that what I think it is?”

Derek holds it up over his head. “Who says this is for you? Maybe all your talk inspired me to go get a meatball sub of my own.”

“Oh, please. Like anyone with your abs eats meatball subs.” Stiles leaps to his feet on his swivel chair—because screw safety, Derek will catch him if he starts to topple over—and snatches the bag out of Derek’s grip. Derek doesn’t fight him for it very hard.

“Why don’t I get a meatball sub?” Erica whines, thumping her head down on her notebook. “Doesn’t anyone love me?”

Derek shrugs and takes his seat again. “You didn’t ask.”

“You just like Stilinski better,” she grumbles, and Derek just shrugs again.

Meanwhile, Stiles rips into the bag and takes a huge bite out of the gloriousness that is this sandwich. He can’t help throwing in a few theatrical moans just to taunt Erica, and she suitably rewards him with a glare of death across the table.

“Mmm,” Stiles says. “Derek, I love you so much, dude. Marry me.”

Instead of the grumpy eyebrows he expects, Derek meets his eye, leans back smugly in his chair, and says, “Okay.”

Keep reading

…well, that escalated quickly. I posted it way back at the end of 2014, it got reblogged by several BNFs in quick succession yesterday, and then it proceeded to rack up like 2,000 notes in one day, so apparently it still needs to be said:

Yes, you are allowed.

You are allowed to write the fic you want, rather than the fic you feel obligated to write. You’re allowed to write crack, crazy realism-defying stunts, self-indulgent trope fic, fucked-up fic about problematic people doing unhealthy things. Fic that doesn’t go through the pre-flight safety check for every swordfight and every BDSM scene, fic that glosses over the ugly real-life fallout of psychological trauma and/or jumping out of a quinjet without a parachute. Or, hey, if that’s your thing, fic that dwells on psychological trauma in loving, messy detail and has at least three punchlines about characters not being able to defy the laws of physics. Any of those things! All those things! We contain multitudes!

Any fic you write is probably going to be a net positive for fandom. The people who were looking for something in your niche get it, the people who didn’t know they wanted something in your niche discover a new thing they like, the people who don’t like it click the back button, the people who really really hate that entire genre of fic get to stroke their hateboners and get high off their own self-righteousness.

If it upsets people? The back button is a failsafe and instantaneous safeword. If it’s not as ~quality~ as other people’s fic? Don’t make me break out that “holy shit! TWO cakes!” comic. If someone takes away a disturbing, unhealthy, or otherwise less-than-wholesome message from your fic? You are not responsible for their failures of critical thinking or reading comprehension, to say nothing of those reading with outright malice looking for something to pounce on after interpreting it as uncharitably as humanly possible. Jesus fucking christ, it’s fanfiction, if people legit want sex ed they should be on Scarleteen. It’s not your job to educate them, certainly not with your fic. It’s not. It’s not. Fic serves so many other purposes. You are allowed to write what you want.