I don’t remember you.

But I read our story and I need to find out what happens next. I need to know that your husband somehow made it back to you – that this sadness was not the end of the story. I need to know there is more than Book 34, that Book 35, 36, 37… they will tell the story of how he remembers you and you two fight the world together.

I need to find out so I refuse to turn myself in. Even though, every day, my name is slandered on the news and my friends don’t believe me and beg me to turn myself in. I pull out that bullet. I staple my wounds shut. I hide away from sight even though my name turns sour every day. I wait for you – you spoke as if you would return immediately why aren’t you here yet – I wait.

While I wait, I read and reread that comic. I thumb the pages with familiarity now. What did she want her husband to do? Ah yes. When I go to the market to buy food, I keep my head down but my eye catches on a dress that would look nice on you. At the market, I think about what I can buy you – I haven’t got much money now so maybe an ice-cream will do? I practise making something better than ramyun; day after day, I eat failed attempts at cabonara spaghetti until I get it right. I can almost see you smile when you eat it; no one can say I don’t give it my all to complete my given assignments.

I go for my daily drive. The bus stop is coming up on the horizon. Will you be there? You haven’t been the last 27 times I looked. I can hardly look. Do I even know how to speak to someone normally anymore? My hand flickers into transparency as I turn onto the main road. I gaze over my translucent fingertips, past the steering wheel and hope to see you standing on the curb.

I hope you appear before I disappear.

Tonight I forgot to stop at the grocery store but really wanted a homemade meal. I had to work with whatever was laying around. I knew I had some pasta in the cabinet but all I could find in the fridge was some spaghetti sauce, ricotta cheese, eggs and peas. I decided I could try to use pasta cabonara as an inspiration, using the pasta to cook the eggs, giving me some protein. I mixed the rest of it up and it was a pretty good meal! I used a bit too much ricotta, I would recommend no more than a spoonful. I always love meals that you mush everything together, so this really hit the spot.


Hello strangers,

What a lazy day today? I was so hungry this morning, but don’t know what to eat. My lovely lady lover was craving for spaghetti cabonara since last night, and I have promised to made it for breakfast. Can’t break the promise especially when a girl is really hungry!! Roaming around in the fridge for a while and found lots of what so called better than just a cabonara. Hmm… Here comes the part where you finally realized what you want, but you have to choose between to follow your desire or keeping your promise. “Sooner or later I have to made it for her anyway”, this is what I think. In conclusion, I came up with the new food experimental for us both to have a happy breakfast that we both want to eat.

“Baked Spaghetti Creamy Sauce”

Well, if anyone can think of a better name for this menu, please let me know, or otherwise I’ll still call this menu by this name. Here are all the ingredients. Whatever vegetables I have found in my fridge, chopped it. When stir fry and mix with cream sauce, all these vegetables will give out the sweetness and you will feel less guilty to eat all those high carb/fat. 



1 - Potato

1 - Hand Full of Spinach

1 - Pack of Mixed Cheese

1 - Small Can of Corn

2 - Big Button Mushrooms

2 - Onions

2 - Garlics

150ml - Double Cream



Olive Oil

*Depend on how you like - Salt / Pepper / Sugar / Parsley (for decoration)


How to? 

1)   Put spaghetti into boiling water, add a little bit of salt, and let it cook until the spaghetti is done.

2)   Pre-heat the oven (200°c) while you start preparing all the ingredients. Apply oil/butter to the baking tray.

3)   Cut potatoes into slices and lay it all on the baking tray. Then layered it with mixed cheese. Cut/Slice/Chop vegetables and bacon however you like.

4)   Fried bacon along with pre-heat another pan for making the creamy sauce (put a little bit of olive oil into the pan). 

5)   Smashed the garlic (1 or2), chopped it and throw it into the pan. Then add onion and the rest of the vegetables. Stir fried until everything look soft and cooked. Then put double cream into the pan, mix it all together, add a little bit of salt/pepper/sugar.

6)   Turn off the heat and put spaghetti into to pan, mix everything together. Then put all the ingredient into the baking tray that we prepared earlier.

7)   Topped everything with egg and cheese. Then put it in the oven. Wait for about 15-20 minutes. After that take it out and put a little bit of parsley on top for decoration.

Done !!!

Have a tasty Tuesday!! 

View Chayuti :)