cabbage on a stick

the signs as @realcabbagefact tweets

****These are not my tweets. These are tweets from the Twitter account realcabbagefact. I love them.****

aries: murder

taurus: Cabbage cabbage full of leafs

Cow cow cow is full of beefs

gemini: Me: slide a cabbage up your ass

Bill Clinton: what did you say

Me: stick him right up there

Bill Clinton: dont tell Hillary

cancer: C - cabbage

A - are

B - big

B - beautiful

A - green

G - leaf

E - friends

leo: Elivis Presly did not like cabbage and now he is dead so what does that tell you

virgo: A cabbage is green

A pototo is brown

Why are you sad

Why are you frown

libra: daddy

scorpio: You cant get a cabbage pregnant but it does not hurt to try

sagittarius: Debbie how could you do this to me

capricorn: You can pretend to be a cabbage by painting your self green and curling up into a ball on the floor and never moving until you are dead

aquarius: The more you kill some one the more they will die

pisces: Most people that you meet will die some day

Savage cabbage™

Omg so my textiles teacher has this felt hand-made cabbage with Velcro leaves and when someone is being bad she literally full on chucks this cabbage at them and yells “SAVAGE CABBAGE!” It’s literally the best because the Savage Cabbage’s other use is for awards. So if someone is good she throws the cabbage at them and they peel off a leaf and stick it to their blazer.
She said that because we’re in yr 10 we’re too old to have cabbages chucked at us

TMC Just Before Drinking, Soraru and Mafumafu Talks 02/25/2015 Namahousou ft. Soraru and Mafumafu

The audio’s pretty weird  haha, but i’ll try ^_^ Thank you to kazuian for recording it! I’m sorry I posted this late, this week was such a weeeird and crisis-filled week for me personally haha.

But i’m not gonna bore you anymore, here have a shitton of Soramafu bickering and flirting like lovers~  remember, ninniku is garlic and garlic is life. 

Keep reading

My fave part of the general election is all the people who inevitably come out of the woodwork to let us know that the reason the country is in a state is actually because poor people have smartphones and laptops and frozen food. If they would just stick to their landline, only eat cabbage, and only use library computers, the economy would be saved.

But because us silly poors are too stupid and selfish to do that, we need to be put in our place by the tories.

Every time I walk into the Jarl’s place in Solitude, or the Bee and Barb in Riften, random food and plates will shoot out from behind me and hit everyone?? At the Bee and Barb especially everyone will simultaneously give me the dirtiest look for like five seconds and then go back to what they were doing, sometimes with plates and cabbages and shit sticking out from their chests. 

Golabki

When I was little I would help my mom in the kitchen. One meal I distinctly remember was golabki. Golabki are basically just cabbage rolls filled with rice and meat, however you can substitute the meat for tvp or mushrooms if you want a vegetarian / vegan version. It also makes a large amount so you can store leftovers in the freezer (not fridge) for up to 6 months.

Ingredients:

  • 1-2 white or yellow onions (chopped)
  • 1 large cabbage
  • ¼ pound of rice
  • ½ pound of meat / tvp / chopped sauteed mushrooms
  • ¼ cup of oil
  • water (enough to fill a large pot about 1/3 of the way)
  • 1 can of tomato paste
  • 1 teaspoon of chicken broth flavoring
  • salt and pepper to taste

Equipment:

  • oven
  • large pot with a lid (large enough to hold a whole cabbage) 
  • knife
  • cutting board
  • pan
  • wooden spoon (for mixing)

Directions:

  1. Boil water and preheat your oven to 360
  2. hollow out the stem of the cabbage and stick it into the boiling water (leave it whole). Boil the cabbage so that it turns bright green BUT NOT COMPLETELY COOKED. You want it soft enough to wrap the filling with it but not so soft that is just rips when you apply pressure. You want the first 2-3 layer to be to this standard but the rest should still be too raw. Repeat this process until you have all of the cabbage leaves semi-cooked. DO NOT DRAIN THE WATER FROM THE POT

  3. Cook the rice about ¾ of the way, don’t cook it too much as it will continue to cook when you bake the rolls. You can do this step the night before if you want.
  4. Saute the onions in the oil until it is transparent. Do not let it brown.
  5. Mix the rice, onion and meat (or substitutes) together in a large bowl. Add salt and pepper to taste. Set that aside.
  6. keep about 3 cups of the water you used to boil the cabbage. Mix in the chicken broth flavoring and about half of the tomato paste. When mixed it should look and taste kinda like watery tomato soup. Put this in a separate bowl.
  7. Put some oil on the bottom of your pot and set it aside.
  8. Go through your cabbages leaves. Separate the ones that are completely intact (these will be used for the rolls), and the ones with the holes in the middle (these will be used to coat the rolls).
  9. Take one leaf and place it down with the stem facing away from you.  Grab a handful of the rice-meat mixture and place it in the middle. You want enough to fill the leaf but not so much that it cant be wrapped up. Take the sides of the leaf and fold it on top of the filling, then take the section on leaf closest to you and roll it towards the stem. It should look like a little green burrito. set it aside and continue until you used all intact leaves.

  10. Pour the liquid over the layers in the pot so that it covers about 1/3 of the layers.
  11. Bake for one hour.
Stir-Fried Cabbage Miracles

Materials:

  • large (non-stick) frying pan/wok
  • lid for the pan
  • knife
  • cutting board

Ingredients:

  • 2 tbsp sesame oil (or other oil)
  • 1 medium-sized onion
  • 3 cloves garlic
  • 2 tsp grated fresh ginger (or 3 tsp ginger powder)
  • ½ head of green cabbage
  • 1 carrot
  • 2 inches of a green onion bunch
  • 4 tbsp soy sauce
  • 6-8 button mushrooms

Instructions:

  • Chop the cabbage, onion, green onion, and mushrooms.
  • Grate the carrot, or chop it into matchstick-sized pieces (julienne).
  • Mince or mash the garlic, or just buy it pre-minced in a jar.
  • Put oil in your pan and turn the heat on to medium-high.
  • When the pan is hot, add the onions, garlic and ginger. Fry until golden brown, stirring frequently.
  • Add the cabbage, carrot and green onion.
  • Pour soy sauce on top and stir.
  • Turn the heat down to medium.
  • Cook with the lid on, stirring occasionally, until the cabbage is crunchy-soft (still crunchy at the thickest parts of the leaf, but soft at the thin parts) or to taste.
  • Add the mushrooms, stir, and cook with the lid on just until mushrooms soften a bit.

BAM. Put that in your mouth and savour the flavour.

Garlic Rubbed Roasted Cabbage

Ingredients

  • 1 (approx 2lb) head of green cabbage, cut into 1″ thick slices
  • 1.5 tablespoons olive oil
  • 2 to 3 large garlic cloves, smashed or chopped
  • kosher salt
  • freshly ground black pepper
  • non-stick cooking spray

Instructions:
1. Preheat oven to 400F/~204C and spray a baking sheet with non-stick cooking spray. Pull outer leaf off cabbage , cut cabbage from top to bottom (bottom being root) into 1″ thick slices.

2. Rub both sides of cabbage with the garlic

3. Spread the olive oil evenly over both sides of the cabbage slices.

4. Sprinkle each side with a bit of kosher salt and freshly cracked black pepper.

5. Roast on the middle rack for 30 minutes. Carefully flip the cabbage slices and roast for another 30 minutes until edges are brown and crispy.