cabbage heads

Happy #TacoTuesday 🎃 🌮 !
Tacos have been a staple in my life lately so I made a version for fall :
Ingredients :
3 taco shells
½ fresh pumpkin
½ head of purple cabbage
½ head cabbage
1 cup shredded lettuce
1 lime
Pumpkin spice seasoning and Tajin to taste
Directions :
Preheat oven to 450°F
Scoop out the pumpkin seeds, give them a quick rinse and mix them in a bowl with ½ teaspoon pumpkin spice
Cut the pumpkin into medium sized chunks. Sprinkle with pumpkin spice and pepper.
Roast for 30-35min until tender.
In a separate tray place the seeds coated in pumpkin spice and roast until golden (7-15min depending on the size)
In the meantime shred or cut thin stripes of purple cabbage and cabbage.
Massage the lettuce in lime juice
Reheat the taco shells and once the pumpkin is done assemble the tacos. Season to taste 🌶

So we’re playing an end of the world game where you play as yourself in the apocalypse. My character (meaning me) didn’t take one of our friend’s death really badly, then not being able to call their mom, and, after going to the grocery store, this exchange happens:

My Friend: [My name], are you ok?

Me (ooc): I turn around, a carton of orange juice under in my arm, my knife stabbed into a head of cabbage into the other, “I’m fine, why do you ask?”

anonymous asked:

How does Lance, Hunk, Keith & Shiro reacts to shy s/o holding their pinky with their own?

This ask is too pure for this world I am obliterated

-Admin Robin


  • Although Space Dad™  is a very affectionate partner, he would totally respect his s/o’s shyness and take things at their pace
  • He think’s it’s too fucking adorable like he will get this stupidass goofy smile and just chuckle at them
  • If they initiate it first he totally is like “wow yes okay interaction is good so good i wanna hold u”
  • But if he initiates it first he is super hesitant and his s/o will have to meet him halfway because he doesn’t wanna freak them out and scare them off
  • He doesn’t care, he’ll walk around the entire freaking castle like that
  • Linked Pinkies = cute
  • He thinks a shy s/o is so amazing and is constantly giving them soft smiles
  • Is 10000000% gentle with them
  • Cherish him


  • “hOly shit you’re hecking touching me”
  • With ur lil pinkes aw”
  • He thinks it’s so pure and if his s/o initiates it he will actually cover his eyes and steam will come out of his ears
  • He blush
  • “What in tarnation you’re so cute”
  • He is such a dork and is constantly asking his s/o “Is this okay?” or “Am I being too touchy-feely?” because the last thing he wants them to feel is uncomfortable
  • It’s so weird like he’s such a freaking cabbage-head idk he will walk into whatever room his s/o is in and go to where they are and just
  • Touch their pinky
  • He kinda is shy too because he doesn’t have much experience with relationships but he knows they’re more important to him than his sword and the Red Lion combined so he just rolls with it


  • This soft lil guy is so moved and like he actually raises a hand to his heart because “wow, you’re unbelievably adorable and I want to cook things for you”
  • He will totally be bashful and smile while looking away from them and just hold their pinky with his gently
  • Will walk around like this, he wants to show everyone how cute theyare
  • Is a very encouraging lover and will not push them at all in any way, shape, or form
  • He thinks linked pinkies is better than holding hands anyways
  • Does cute shit (i.e.: holds their pinky while he’s piloting)
  • “Hunk, th-this isn’t safe” “Shh- babe, just lemme hold you,”
  • Cooks for them and then as they’re snarfing down the food he’ll just lean across the kitchen island and reach for that pinky
  • One of his favorite things about his s/o is their hands so linked pinkies is neato for him!


  • If they initiate it he’ll look down at their hands and be all smug
  • “You just can’t seem to keep your hands off me, can’t you?” or “Babe, have some self-control, we’re in public”
  • But is actually really happy that they’re courageous enough to touch him, and grins until his face hurts
  • Once it happens once, he will hold their pinky any chance he gets, and although he respects their need to take things slow, he will eventually show them that actually holding hands is not so bad either
  • He squeals the first time it happens tho
  • Lance is the exact opposite of shy, so I can imagine that Lance having a shy partner would be a good thing; they would balance each other out nicely!
  • Takes them in Blue for a spin and is flying with one hand just so he can link pinkies with the other
  • Will link pinkies with you in the heat of battle and not even care tbh
  • Kisses their pinky aw aww
  • Loves them so damn much it hurts

Okay so let me give you the inside scoop on the moment that made my little army heart clench.

▪So BTS played a hand bowling game. (They flicked a disc and tried getting as many points, the amount of points represented the amount of money they would each receive for dinner)

▪They all played and 3 members got like less than $5 (Jhope, Jimin, Jungkook… The 3 J’s lmao. Poor bbs)

▪So at the end Jungkook being the cocky little maknae that he is, decides to gamble by saying if he didn’t get the 30 pin that he would lose all his money for dinner.

▪ He then ends up failing and losing and after convinces Jimin to gamble too so he doesnt die alone but surprise surprise our Lil mochi redeems himself and hits the 30 pin. Then Jhope tries his luck but fails too.

▪BTS goes to the market to spend their little bit of cash they earned, except Hobi and Jk bc well losers, anyways they all go for noodles mainly and HERE IT COMES.. Jimin grabs noodles for Jhope & JK and says “ I can’t let them starve” AT THIS POINT I’M CRYING BUT WAIT

▪ All members finish and go back to the car and Rap mon reveals that he ended up getting beer for all of them to share and Tae ended up giving the 2 boys fruit that he had bought.

• Keep in mind the most one of them got was $23 (Namjoon)

▪BTS is family till the end. Jhope even predicted that one of them would share bc they’ve been together like 7 years and they’re fam.

Ps. I’m sure Jin would of shared too but he only had I think $7 and bought a noodle and a head of cabbage lolol Yoongi bought Oreos and I’m 100% sure he shared

ANYWAYS I WAS RLLY TOUCHED BY JIMIN. JUST THE WAY HE SAID IT AND HIS IMMEDIATE REACTION UGH I LOVE THIS BOY . He even brought 8 pairs of chopstick bc he knew most would forget a utensil *CRIES in Army*

Baby 101

Summary: Lance changes your sons diaper.

Pairing: Lance x Reader (and son)

Warnings: just some daddy Lance :)

A/N: Tomorrow I’ll either upload a part of Tainted Love or BITL so be prepared for either one of those. Anyways this is just a lil Lance drabble, hope ya enjoy :)

You were exhausted. Actually, not even exhausted was the right fit for how you felt at the moment. You were drained; tired but you were still sitting in the rocking chair that was in the living room, holding your son who wouldn’t let you have a five-minute nap.

But maybe, just maybe he would this time. He was calm, eyes fluttering closed and you let out a sweet sigh, a lazy smile spread on your face. Your eyes began to close as well, hoping for even a minute of sleep but that dream was soon crushed  when your son began crying.

Your eyes snap open and land on your baby. “There’s no tears coming from your eyes you faker.”

This made your son wail even more and you groan. “I can’t get five minutes of sleep? Just five minutes?”

Your son continued to cry and you rocked him back and forth. “Where’s your dad at?” you sigh, looking at the front door before turning you gaze back to your baby.

Seeing as the rocking wasn’t helping, you sigh and pull down your shirt to breastfeed. “You hungry, handsome boy? Hmm?”

He wasn’t hungry.

You pull your shirt up and rub his back, trying to calm him down but nothing was helping. It was then that Lance came through the door, hair tousled like he had been running his fingers through it and he dropped his bag on the floor. He lets out a sigh and shuts the door, laying his head on the wood.

“Sorry I’m late. Cassie kept messing up her routine so we had to stay even later until she got it right.” He sighed, turning around to you. Cassie was one of his students. She was fourteen years old and super nice.

“It’s okay,” you hummed.

Lance’s eyebrows furrowed and he nodded over to his son. “What’s wrong with Caleb?”

It’s your turn to sigh. “He won’t stop crying and I don’t know what’s wrong. I tried everything and-” you pause and lift your son up, smelling him. “He needs his diaper changed. That’s why he’s crying.”

You rub your eyes and sigh once more before moving to get up. Lance – seeing how tired you were – placed his hand on your shoulder and guided you to sit back down. “I’ve got this, baby.”

“Are you sure? I just need to-”

“You’re tired. Go to the room and get some sleep. I’ll watch Caleb.” He cuts you off.

You smile and stand up. “Thank you so much Lance.”

He leans down and presses a kiss to your lips. “Anything for my wife.” He pulls away and takes your son in his hands. “C’mon my little cabbage, let’s get you changed.”

You smile as you walk to yours and Lance’s shared room. Lance calls Caleb “little cabbage” because the first thing you changed him into was a green onesie and it made him laugh because he looked like a little cabbage.

Upon entering the room, you stretch before climbing into bed and snuggling up. You were almost asleep when you heard Lance talking to your son.

“We gotta let mommy sleep because she’s tired and she needs her beauty sleep. Not that she’s not beautiful already. No, your mommy is the most gorgeous mommy alive and I’m a very lucky guy.” you hear him say and you smile. After his little speech you hear Lance pulling the adhesive tabs off and your eyes widen.

You jump out of bed and run over to Caleb’s nursery. “Lance, wait! You have to-”

You arrive in time to see Caleb peeing all over Lance. “Oh fuck,” he cursed, covering his sons privates with the diaper again. “He pissed all over me!”

You clasp your hand over your mouth, trying not to laugh but failing immensely. Lance glares at you and you watch the liquid drop off of his chin and onto his shirt.

“You think this is funny?”

You shut your mouth. “No..” but it doesn’t take long for you to burst into laughter once again.

Lance looks over at his son who was gurgling happily and he shakes his head. “Cabbage, what the hell man? You’re not supposed to pee all over daddy.”

Your son only smiles at his father and you grin. “Go change and wash your face, I’ll finish this.”

Lance sighs. “Okay but afterwards you’re taking a nap,” You nod and he smirked at you. “cause you need all the energy you can get now that your doctor cleared you for sex.”

You shake your head at his words, trying not to smile but failing. “Shut up and go change.”

“Will do.” The two of you meet halfway. “But first, kiss me.”

He leans in but you move away quickly. “Lance!”

“Okay, okay!” he chuckled. “I’m going.”

A/N: I have a friend named Caleb who I sometimes call cabbage (but I mostly call him Chelsea {Chelsea is the girl version of Caleb I guess you could say} he even signed my get-well card with Chelsea back in 8th grade lmao) so that’s where the inspiration for cabbage comes from lmao. Hope ya liked this lil drabble, tell me what ya think!


@your-puddin @heismyhunter @buchananbarnestrash @live-in-the-now10 @jcb2k16 @plumqueenbucky @thefandomplace @chocolatereignz @blueberry-pens @professionally-crazed @idk-something-amazing-i-guess @almondbuttercup @janetgenea @flowercrownsandmetallicarms @rvb-and-marvel-shit @rosyskies @winterboobaer @thyotakukimkim @hattnco @millaraysuyai @themercurialmadhatter @miss-jessi29 @snakesgoethe @helloitsgrc @welcometothecasmofsar @aboxinthestars @feelthemusicfuckwhatheyresaying @fandomaniacxx @hatterripper31 @coffeeismylife28 @bunchofandoms @bobabucky @under-dah-sea @amrita31199 @sebstanthemanxo @mrs-brxghtside @marvelrevival @amistillmyself @buckyandsebsinbin @ballerinafairyprincess @spnhybrid @marvel-fanfiction @queen–valeskaxx @bucky-with-the-metal-arm @sophs-the-name @fstobsessed @rebekastan98 @gingerbatchwife @hellstempermentalangel @wunnywho @lenia1d @annieluc @theassetseyeliner @yikesbuckster @iamwarrenspeace @goldenrain2 @supernatural-girl97 @satanssmuts @jayankles @fuckmesebby @lilasiannerd @liffydaze @cassandras-musings @broken-pieces @4theluvofall @minervaem @tatortot2701 @kalenajdgaf-blog @rda1989 @avc212 @nylalushlifexx @feelmyroarrrr @hopelessgarbage

anonymous asked:

My friend and I were talking about Series 4 and Rosie. We were laughing our heads off when we decided that she could be replaced by a head of cabbage in most scenes and not affect the plot. I thought of you and wonder if you could help us out.

You betcha!

Series 4!  Now with 300% more CABBAGE!

  • All teachers, like ever: You can't do this at university/college. It's serious business there, you'll be judged as an adult and will be expected to behave at all times!
  • Me, sitting in my professors room staring at a cabbage in a vase: Sure, whatever you say...
amour chassé-croisé;

⇢ summary:  by day, you’re just a normal teenager in love with a popular model that goes to your school, jeon jungkook. but by night? you protect the city of paris under the alias ladybug, assisted by the ever elusive, ever anonymous, and ever so flirtatious, chat noir. you’ve always wondered who chat noir really is under the mask, but he may just be closer than you think.

⇢ relationship: jeon jungkook/reader.

genre: miraculous ladybug!au, romance, angst.

⇢ words: 8.9k (i am so sorry)

⇢ warnings: violence, some swearing of course

Originally posted by sugutie

a/n: highly indulgent fic. i realized that adrien and jungkook have a lot in common, and god damn it, if i didn’t write it, who would? 🐞

Let’s get two things straight: one, you didn’t ask to be one of Paris’ only hopes against evil butterflies called akumas possessing everyday people, turning them into mind-controlled villains that wanted to kill you for a power you didn’t want nor ask to have. And two, you didn’t ask for Paris’ other only hope to be one of the worst pun makers in France.

“Wow, we really are in a pickle, right, my lady?” Chat Noir manages to ask you, dodging out of the way seconds before a sharpened cucumber could stab him in the abdomen. You’d roll your eyes right out of your head if you didn’t need them to guide you across the rooftops of the city in one piece, “Shut up, Chat.”

Keep reading

A Grocery Store Saviour

Request: Omg i love your writing sooo much <3 I was thinking if you could do a story based off Michael Buble’s ‘Just Haven’t met you Yet’. I understand if you wouldn’t want to do it but thank you for your time :)

Word Count: 2,852

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Requested by Anonymous but also tagging @dont-give-a-bother @red-roses-and-stories and @caseoffics

“Next!” You call, back aching and feet sore. Work usually sucks, but today it’s a living hell. Saturdays are the normally busiest days at the grocery store but add the fact that it’s the first day of spring that’s warmer than 50 degrees, and you’ve got yourself a full store. The bustle of people weaving around one another in the narrow aisles meant that you’d been sent to clean up five separate messes and help one bawling seven-year-old find his mother. His snot covered fingers had wrapped around your own until you’d found his mother who’d immediately decided to yell at you for not bringing him sooner. People bumped into you with every turn, resulting in scowls and foul language from some particularly angry customers. You’d had to ask people to repeat themselves four different times because of the clamor and been asked because of that if it were really right for a woman to be working. On top of all that, you wore heels today so your feet want to fall off and the store’s air conditioning hardly works, meaning hot sweat drips down your back and soaks your hairline.

Despite the annoying customers and the math involved, you’re almost grateful to work at the cash register now instead of work on the floor when you hear the horrific sound of gagging nearby. Your coworker Arthur rushes past you, mop already in hand.

Raising your eyebrows at the situation, you shake your head and take stock of everything a middle-aged man in front of you sets on the counter. He wears a dark suit and a cap to hide what you assume is a balding head. He’s muttering something to himself as thick beads of sweat slide down his face, over the patches of red dotting his cheeks and forehead and collecting on his upper lip. Every time he says something, a bead flings off its place above his lip, landing on the counter in front of you.

You cringe but reach for his items and pull them closer. Flipping the page on your notepad, you begin writing the costs of everything down.

“Do you not bother to keep your customers happy here?”

Keep reading

When You’re Near

Thank you to @sqrzos for this prompt for a Merlin/Arthur fic! 

“You stubbed your toe, you’re not dying.”

Arthur Pendragon was the King of Camelot. He had a beautiful kingdom, with its endless bounds of bustling people; bright blue skies, and sunny mornings, such as this one. Even though he had his list of duties to attend to that morning, he was gazing out of his window at some children playing with their parents by the courtyard, and he smiled at them. Training was due to begin in an hour, and he was waiting on Merlin to bring his mail and armor to him; Which, if he had been paying attention, Arthur would have noticed that Merlin had arrived a few seconds ago.

“Here you go, sire,” Merlin said, cheerily as he sat the mail and armor on the table gently. Arthur turned around suddenly and ended up knocking his water pitcher over from the desk, spilling over the side of it. Luckily, none of the documents on the table had gotten wet. Merlin clucked his tongue. “I’ll get it, Arthur.” He muttered, and grabbed a rag from the bucket in the side of the room.

“Damn it,” Arthur cursed quietly and crossed the room to change.

“And you call me clumsy,” Merlin teased, wringing the sopping rag into the bucket.


“Shut up?”

“You guessed it,” Arthur told him, peeking from behind the screen.

“So, I’ll see you down there?” Merlin asked, retreating from the room.

“Make sure there are plenty of water skins,” Arthur reminded him.

“Oh, no…I figured you guys could just lick it off the bench,” Merlin joked, shutting the door. Arthur snorted at Merlin’s snarky retort, and finished dressing. Truth was, this was happening more and more the moment Merlin was around Arthur. If Merlin just appeared, Arthur would drop whatever he was holding, stutter over his words, or spill something. Even dropped his sword during training yesterday, much to the amusement of Gwaine. He would never hear the end of that one…



Arthur called the Knights to attention when he reached the training field, with a good morning and a nod to each of them. He purposefully did not look to see if Merlin was around, and began the exercises.

“Hello, Merlin,” Gwen greeted, as she made her way over to him. Merlin beamed at her, and took the extra water skins from her hands.

“Thanks. How’s everything?” Merlin asked, as he filled them up.

“Oh, good. Good. How many times can I say the word ‘good’?” Gwen smiled and blushed when Merlin saw her sneak a glance at Lancelot.

“As many times as it takes,” Merlin sat down on the bench and began to organize or polish the training swords, so he would have something to do. “Hey, Gwen? Have you noticed that Arthur has been…off lately?”

“Off? How do you mean?” Gwen asked curious as she sat next to Merlin.

“Well, he keeps dropping things and stuttering. Arthur does not stutter. He’s very eloquent, usually. Even though he’s a cabbage head,” Merlin explained.

“I have noticed, but really Merlin…of course he’s going to act like that.” Gwen laughed and lightly touched his arm.

“I’m not following…” Merlin said, confused.

“It’s how someone acts when they are…well…like how Arthur is,”

Merlin raised his brows in even deeper confusion.

“Merlin…it’s how Lancelot acted around me when he first started courting me. I didn’t fare much better. We were—are, completely besotted. That’s not a bad thing,” Gwen smiled, and sighed as she looked over in Lancelot’s direction again.

Merlin felt his heart skip a beat, then thump wildly in his chest. “Arthur is besotted with someone?” He asked, his throat feeling dry.

Gwen looked at him with wide eyes. “You—oh my god. Merlin…you don’t–? Oh dear,”

“What Gwen?” Merlin asked, when she rose to leave.

“I just—I have duties that need seeing to. Tell Lancelot I’ll see him for dinner,” Gwen rushed away, turning bright red as she walked. Merlin was confused at her sudden departure, but couldn’t think about that at the moment. It made sense, now Gwen had explained it. Merlin wondered who it was, and he hoped that Arthur was happy. He deserved it…Merlin shook away the feeling of uneasiness that came with the tightness in his chest at the thought of Arthur happy with someone else. Not that Merlin had entertained thoughts of being…like THAT…with his King in any way.

Except, he did. Often. He often dreamed, and daydreamed when he was supposed to be getting on with his chores. He dreamed that Arthur would come up behind him and kiss the back of his neck after a long training session, in the privacy of Arthur’s chambers, making Merlin shiver. He dreamed that Arthur would hold Merlin close at night, whispering sweet promises of the future of them together. He knew it was a fool’s dream, but he couldn’t help it. Even looking at Arthur sometimes made his heart clench in his chest. With his sun-kissed hair, shining like a halo on his head, bright blue eyes that Merlin sometimes got lost in, and such a generous and good heart…how could anyone with a pulse not fall irrevocably in love with Arthur Pendragon?

He felt tears burn his eyes, but he would be damned if he let them fall. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t hear Arthur call training to an end, and the Knights come over for their water skins.

“Hey Merlin!” Gwaine greeted happily, but out of breath. “You see the princess drop his sword again?” He took a generous gulp of his water, and chuckled.

Merlin smiled half-heartedly at him. “No, I didn’t see it,” he commented flatly, and this caught Gwaine’s attention. He felt Gwaine sit next to him on the bench.

“Alright, what is it? You never miss an opportunity to poke fun at His Majesty,”

“Nothing. It’s nothing,” Merlin muttered, looking up to see Arthur coming over to him. Merlin automatically held a skin out for him to take.

“Do not go spreading lies, Sir Gwaine,” Arthur scolded the knight. “Thank you, Merlin,”

“Not a lie, since we all saw it,” Gwaine rose an eyebrow at him.

“An honest mistake,” Arthur tried to cover up his own chuckle as he took a drink from his skin.

Merlin decided it was best to take his leave from Arthur to go see if Gaius needed any help before he had to tidy Arthur’s chambers. He needed to think, and to try and calm the rainstorm building in his heart. “I’m going to assist Gaius. Do you have any need of me, sire?”

Arthur rose his eyebrows at that. Normally, Arthur would retire to his chambers for lunch, while joking and laughing with Merlin a bit before he had to sit through boring council meetings all afternoon. He blinked at him, not really sure what to say.

“Sire?” Merlin asked.

“N-no. You’re dismissed. Just make sure my chambers are cleaned before I retire this evening,”

Merlin nodded once at him and hastily made his way back to Gauis’ and his own quarters. He slammed the door harder than he thought, making Gaius look up.

“Something wrong, Merlin?” He asked.

“No, nothing. Everything is fine,”

Gaius raised The Eyebrow at him, making Merlin think Gaius didn’t believe him, but he didn’t comment on it further. “Well, since you’re here, you can clean the leech tank,”

“Fine,” Merlin rolled up his sleeves and went over to the other side of the room to gather the supplies he would need.

“What is going on? You usually kick up a fuss if I ask you to do this,” Gaius asked, walking over to him.

“Just seeing if you needed any help,” Merlin commented, voice shakier than he would have liked it to be.

“Merlin…you have been ward for years now. I know you better than you think. So, what is going on? Something has upset you,” Merlin squeezed his eyes shut, and shook his head. “Very well. I won’t push. If you need to talk, I’m here for you, Merlin.” Gaius squeezed Merlin’s shoulder and Merlin smiled back gratefully.


Arthur went back to his own chambers, and began removing his armor and mail, a little awkward since Merlin wasn’t helping him, but he managed. He ran his hand through his hair, and went to wash up at the bowl over on the side of his bed. He couldn’t get his mind off of how Merlin was so stand offish earlier. He was never afraid to say what he was thinking, no matter what it was, and that was one of the things that Arthur loved about him. He froze, water dripping off of his face, and all over the floor.

“Oh…OH. Oh my god,” Arthur said to the empty room. He…Arthur Pendragon…loved Merlin. He loved him. He was in love with Merlin. It all made sense now! Arthur’s laugh bubbled up in his chest and he let out a loud whoop, not befitting a King at all, but he could be arsed to care in that particular moment. Now, only to tell Merlin…he faltered a bit, wondering if Merlin returned his feelings. He was sure he didn’t miss the lingering glances or the way Merlin gazed into his eyes that made Arthur feel like he was the most important person in the world. Or the way Merlin had risked his life several times over for him…maybe Merlin felt the same. Only one way to find out…

“Sire?” He heard a voice come through after a knock.

“Guinevere, hello,” Arthur greeted her, hurrying to find a tunic in his wardrobe. “Did you need something?”

“Well, I was out on training field this morning…”

“I have no doubt,” Arthur teased her. “Sir Lancelot did exceptional today, don’t you think?”

Gwen blushed. “Yes, of course he did. But, that’s not why I’m here,”

Arthur walked over to her, and began to put his boots back on. “Oh?”

“I spoke with Merlin, and he mentioned you had been acting strangely, sire,” Gwen sat on the chair across from him, lacing her fingers together on her lap.

Dammit, Arthur cursed himself. Of course Merlin would notice…”O-Oh? Well, I…er…”

“Like. You don’t stutter. Ever,” Gwen pointed out.


“I explained that your behavior wasn’t as different as Lancelot’s was when we first starting courting,”


“Yes. He dropped everything he was holding, ran into people…oh, he was a mess! A sweet mess, but all the same,” Gwen giggled. “But, I thought that Merlin…well, that you and Merlin were—,”

“We were…what, Gwen?” Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You know—“Gwen raised both of her eyebrows, hopeful Arthur would catch her meaning. Arthur just stared at her. She sighed. “Courting, Arthur.”


“Yes, oh. And…I don’t think Merlin—“

“Oh, this makes so much more sense now. The hurrying off, the sudden need to help Gaius. Oh, I’m such an ass,” He looked at the ground and shook his head. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

“What do you mean, sire?” Gwen rested her hand on his knee in a comforting gesture.

“He most likely thinks I’m seeing someone else,”

“Oh…oh, no,” Gwen said, sadly. “You have to tell him you’re not,”

“Well, I—“

“Now, Arthur!” Gwen asserted, and pulled him up out of the chair. “You know how Merlin is,”

“How do I even know he will return my feelings?” Arthur asked her, as she pushed him out the door…of his own chambers, no less.

Gwen just raised an eyebrow at him, in a frighteningly good impression of Gauis. It seemed to say ‘You cannot be this ridiculous’.

“Alright…so, I’m just gonna…”

“Yes, that would be best. Sire,” Gwen waved him off and started down the other end of the hallway.

Arthur tried building up his courage on his way there, but he kept coming up with more and more down right awful ways to tell Merlin his true feelings. All of them sounded more ridiculous than the last. Finally, he arrived at the front of the door to the physician’s quarters. He breathed in a deep breath and knocked.

“Come in,” Arthur heard Gaius call out. He shook himself out of his stupor and walked in. Gaius looked up from what he was working on, and smiled.

“Hello, sire.” He greeted.

“Good afternoon, Gaius. Is…is Merlin available by any chance?” Arthur asked, and he felt his voice waiver ever so slightly.

Merlin heard Arthur ask after him, and thumped his head on top of the leech tank he was scrubbing. What the—why was Arthur asking for him now? He thought.

“Yes? Did you need something?” Merlin asked, setting down the rag. He was breathing a bit heavily from the exertion, and Arthur’s mouth went dry. Merlin was flushed all over his face, and down his long, pale neck that Arthur often thought about nuzzling into. “Arthur?”

“I was—I was just wondering…if you—if you eat,”

Merlin raised an eyebrow. “Eat?”

“Yes. Eat…lunch,”

“Of course I do,” Merlin answered, slowly. He was missing something here.

“I think what his Majesty is trying to say,” Gaius chimed in, because he couldn’t take the tension anymore, “Is would you like to have lunch with him, Merlin?”

“Yes, thank you, Gaius,” Arthur was sure his cheeks were burning red, as he felt it from his face to the tips of his ears.

“You’re welcome, sire,” Gaius replied and went back to the potion he was working on.

“Well…yeah, sure, I guess. Just let me clean up and I’ll be right back,” Merlin answered, retreating to his room. He shut the door behind him and leaned against the door. What the hell was going on? He was having lunch with Arthur…all of a sudden? It wasn’t like they didn’t share meals before, but never like this. Arthur had never asked him like this…his heart was beating a mile a minute as he washed up quickly and changed his clothes. He made sure to look at least halfway decent, and tied his red neckerchief securely around his neck. He breathed a deep calming breath and went back out to the main room.

Arthur looked up from the little blue bottle he was inspecting at the end of the table and saw Merlin standing there with a smile. He looked like he always did…but now, it took Arthur’s breath away. His heart swelled with all the feelings he had for the man in front of him and he couldn’t wait to tell him.

“Ready?” Arthur asked, returning the smile.

“Sure. Let’s go,” Merlin answered, and kept pace beside Arthur. Before he came to the physician’s quarters, he arranged for a picnic to be set up for the both of them and they were going to meet the stable boys over at the stables for their horses. He smiled as he saw the horses already packed and ready to go.

Gwaine and Leon were waiting at the stables for them when they arrived. “Everything is arranged, sire,” Leon said, with a small bow.

“You apologized to the council for me?” Arthur asked, petting his horse on the neck.

“Yes, and they were very gracious about it,” Leon responded.

Merlin was in surprise…no, shock was a better term. He looked at the pack of food attached to the horse, and the blanket. They were going on a picnic? What the hell? Merlin wondered, but he said nothing. He mounted his own horse, as Arthur mounted his, and Gwaine came over to bid him goodbye, with a grin. “What?”

“Nothing, my friend. Just that it’s about time and Percy owes me five,” Gwaine gave the horse a pet, and sauntered off. Merlin shook his head at his retreating back.

“Come on, Merlin! Food will get cold!” Arthur called and spurred his horse into a gallop. Merlin followed suit, his horse making his way to catch up to the king.


When they finally reached their destination, they were only minutes outside of the city, and Merlin sighed with the fresh air and quiet. All he could hear were birds singing and the small river trickling in the distance. He had picked herbs for Gaius here more times than he could count, and he often let his magic into the earth as an outlet without anyone being the wiser.

“Merlin, a bit of help would be nice,” Arthur called to him, already trying to unpack their lunch. Merlin rolled his eyes, and went to tie up his horse next to Arthur’s. He walked over to Arthur and grabbed the blanket and unrolled it onto the ground, while Arthur carried over the basket of food.

“Here, Merlin. Sit,” Arthur pointed to the spot across from him, and Merlin sat with his legs crossed. He was still very confused as to why they were here, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. It was rare these days that he got to spend time alone with Arthur, so he was determined to make the best of it.

They talked, laughed and ate their way through the lunch, and half of the wine skin that Gwaine insisted they bring with them, and wound up resting on the blanket beside one another, looking up at the clouds.

“This is nice,” Merlin commented, with a smile. He looked over at Arthur, only to find the king already looking at him.

Arthur smiled in return. “Yes it is,”

Merlin’s heart fluttered in his chest at the clearly adoring look Arthur was giving him, and then remembered what Gwen had said earlier. Before he could say anything, he heard Arthur sigh in contentment and then felt Arthur lace his fingers in Merlin’s own.

“Arthur?” Merlin squeaked out.


“You’re holding my hand,”


“Well…you don’t do that.”

“I do now, Merlin.”

“Huh?” Merlin asked, sitting up. Arthur sat up as well, and looked at Merlin directly in the eyes.

“I—I know I’m not good at these things. You said once that…what was it? I had the emotional range of a wart?” Arthur laughed out loud at this, and Merlin felt his stomach swoop at the sight.

“I remember,”

Arthur stroked Merlin’s hand with his thumb, rubbing circles onto it. “I have been off, lately. I’m sure you’ve noticed. I finally figured out why, just this morning,”

Oh…yeah…here it comes. Merlin pulled his hand away, heart breaking in the process. “Yes, I know. You have obviously been besotted,”

“Yes, as a matter of fact,”

“Well. Good, good. I’m happy for you,” Merlin was truly, but he couldn’t help that he was jealous of this person.

“I thought you would be,” Arthur smiled and Merlin couldn’t take it anymore.

“Why did you bring me out here? I know you are all ensconced in your new found love and happiness! You should have brought her out here instead!” Merlin yelled, standing up. He was breathing heavily with the effort not to let the tears he felt sting his eyes fall.

“Merlin…” Arthur began, slowly. He knew he had missed something if Merlin thought in this way. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re new lady, of course! I hope she’s pretty. I bet she is, knowing you,” Merlin quipped.

“Oh…Merlin,” Arthur sighed, walking closer to him.

“What?” Merlin asked, angrily.

“You really are an idiot,” Arthur said, fondly. He took Merlin’s face in his hands and pressed his lips chastely to Merlin’s. Merlin felt like his entire being was alive. His magic was singing in his veins and his body was covered in delicious goosebumps. He grabbed Arthur by the waist to pull him in closer. Arthur pulled back from kissing Merlin and rested his forehead against Merlin’s. “That enough for you?” Arthur asked, cheekily.

“More than,” Merlin answered, kissing Arthur again. They were so wrapped up in each other that they didn’t see the still heavy basket sitting on the edge of the blanket. Since they had both taken their boots off some time ago, this was bound to be inevitable. It was Arthur who screeched out, making Merlin start.

“What happened?” Merlin asked, worry etched on his face.

“My…my foot!” Arthur bit out, grimacing.

“What happened to your foot?” Merlin asked, confused.

“Hit it on that damn basket! Argh!” Arthur cried out, falling to the ground again, clutching his foot in pain.

“Arthur, you stubbed your toe. You’re not dying,” Merlin teased him. “I am not going to kiss it better,”

Arthur turned on his full pout, knowing it would work with Merlin. “Hmm, but come here. I’m feeling something else. Pain,”

Merlin smirked at him, and crawled closer. “Where?”

Arthur touched a finger to his lips. “Here,”

“Ah.” Merlin pretended to inspect his king’s lips. “I can tell I am going to have to be very thorough. Only to insure there isn’t any residual pain,”

“Absolutely,” Arthur breathed out, before reaching for Merlin again. Arthur pressed Merlin onto the blanket, Merlin giggling into the kisses Arthur was bestowing on him. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, he had a gorgeous man all to himself…yes. It was a beautiful day, Arthur thought happily.

Nailed Down

You may have heard of the Purple Paw Thievery? Small, brightly colored rabbits that live in Autumn’s Lost Wood, a magical forest just outside the tiny, haunted village, Peyroux.

By way of introduction: the Paws love to steal. They love. To. Steal. And will steal pretty much anything. They can steal a shadow from a paladin standing at attention in front of a shrine, and if you look away long enough, they’ll steal the shrine too.

One of their greatest capers came after locating a hardware store owned by a part time super hero. A group of the Paws walked through the front door, stacked together in a trench coat (stolen). A hat completed the odd ensemble, and despite the fact they were the size of three or four rabbits and not that of a human being, they felt it to be a convincing disguise. It was not. Nor was it lost to the store owner that the “customer’s” wallet was a shaped like a head of cabbage and the money smelled strongly of cilantro. The fact that a paw, and not a hand, slid the money across the counter was not suspicious, but that is largely because there are all manner of monsters that need home repair supplies. Some folk have hands, others paws, still others tentacles.

A group of the Paws walked through the front door, stacked together in a trench coat (stolen).

So while there was a pile of Paws paying for pins, nails, screws, and other fasteners, the rest of the guild set about robbing the store. Half or so built various distracting machines to keep the shop owner and other customers from noticing the other half digging tunnels and securing the store’s inventory. Hardware stores, it should be noted, are valuable targets because you can use your purloined products to secure even larger pieces. It was in this way that the core group of Paws cleaned out the inventory while the trench coat crew asked questions about drywall, spackle, the difference between screwdriver shapes, and how keys were made.“W-wait a second!” the shopkeep shouted, at long last, as he looked  up from his key cutting machine. He recognized, a bit too late, that  he was duplicating his own house key. And that his shop was gone.

“Wh-what the?!” The reader will forgive, please, an absent minded hero.

Though we are on opposite sides of the alignment bridge, I cannot fault him for falling for the adorable methods the Paws use to elude attention. They are masters at deception, illusion, and fuzziness.The shop owner stared, awestruck, into the neighborhood. His entire shop had been stolen. A final standing wall fell, leaving nothing but a closed door, leading to and from nowhere. The shelves were gone, all of the tools and accouterments were taken, most of the floor was nowhere to be found.

The official police report read, accurately, “Not a single nail was spared, not a screw could be located. Had our station not utilized many of the services at Hero Hardware, we would not be able to accurately say a store had ever existed on this spot.”

The Long Way Home (2/10)

On to Chapter 2!  Thank you all so much for the lovely feedback, reblogs, kudos, and comments you left me on Chapter 1!  I hope you continue to enjoy this story - I promise there’s a lot more of… well, EVERYTHING, to come.  Chapter 1 was more of an introductory chapter; the rest are considerably longer, so tuck in!

As always, thanks to my beta, @captainstudmuffin, and to @lifeinahole27@clockadile, and @ladyciaramiggles for their additional feedback.  Additional thanks to my wonderful CSBB artists, @waiting-for-autumn and @giraffes-ride-swordfishes for providing some gorgeous artwork to accompany this fic!  Links to their illustrations of certain scenes (*) will be in the text - go show them some love!

Find it on AO3.  Nautical term glossary here.

Missed a chapter?  Get caught up here.

Summary:  After an unnaturally long life fraught with personal tragedy, Killian Jones has become known throughout the realms as the infamous Captain Hook, an opportunistic ne’er-do-well and one of the most formidable pirates to ride the waves.  When he crosses paths with a mysterious young woman with no memory of who she is or how she arrived there, he recognizes the chance to claim a monetary reward that will constitute his biggest score yet.  But a journey across the world to get her home leads to a series of adventures that reveal that her value lies in far more than gold and jewels.  A Captain Swan Anastasia AU - sort of.  (Captain Swan Enchanted Forest AU.  Romance, Adventure, & Eventual Smut.  Rated E.)

Warning: Brief but graphic depictions of violence, peripheral character death, and smut.

Hook spends the following morning haggling over the sale of the Jolly Roger’s loot – barrels of tea leaves, casks of fine spices, bottles of expensive perfumes, bolts of cloth, and loose gems they’ve taken off a handful of merchants over the last few weeks.  It’s their usual routine in port to sell the spoils first to refill the coffers and empty the hold and then to resupply shortly before departing.  Much to his relief, Blackbeard’s ship, the Queen Anne’s Revenge, is doing the latter, and rumor is she’s heading back out to sea today.  Hook watches her through his spyglass from across the wharf, her decks a bustle of activity as packs of salted meat, crates of dried fruits and vegetables, boxes of hardtack, and casks of fresh water are loaded aboard.  With any luck, they’ll be gone by sundown, he thinks grimly, and everyone will be able to breathe a bit easier.

He stows his glass and turns his attention toward the town, fingering the full purse on his belt and enjoying the jangle of the coins therein.  Their earnings from this morning have already been distributed to the crew and the remainder secured aboard the ship, and, with the exception of the men standing the current watch, the rest of his crew have already gone ashore to indulge in what pleasures of port their money can buy.  He, too, plans to enjoy a bit of leisure time this afternoon, and he contemplates where to go first.  It’s little surprise when his mind turns to a certain bookshop and the intriguing girl he might find there, and before he knows it, he’s headed down the gangplank, his feet light as they carry him into town.

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