okay but this is a great episode: becoming pt 1 (btvs | 2x21)
bottom line is, even if you see ‘em coming, you’re not ready
for the big moments. no one asks for their life to change, not really. but it
does. so what are we, helpless? puppets? no. the big moments are
gonna come. you can’t help that. it’s what you do afterwards that
counts. that’s when you find out who you are.
right so the other day in gym i told my friend that I would totally get in such good shape if the gym teachers played fall out boy or something instead of rap/katy perry/salsa music (srsly gym teachers wtf).
today, in gym, we were running, and “i don’t care,” by fob came on. you know what happens next.
i flipped out the fuck out, and began sprinting at full speed. I passed the whole football team, all the while singing all the words. “the best of us can find happiness in mi-i-i-i-iseryyy.” i had an asthma attack after.
Something different from me other than wanking of my fatigue…
I had to hug some patient’s grandma today. Granddaughter did something bad that I had to send her to the ER. It was ugly. Grandma was crying while we were in the room waiting, feeling that this is somehow her fault. She felt that she did her best to raise both her kids and grandkids and now this shit is happening. I don’t hug patients or their relatives. I’m not supposed to. But I broke the rule I guess….I gave her a hug. I told her that her granddaughter is an adult and is responsible for her choices. Seriously people, don’t do this to your grandparents. Or I will smite you. My stressed-out heart can only handle so much.
Several patients in the past also told me they would hug me if they could. It’s probably not just because I look soft.
A couple came in. They were already mad at the ER for pushing them aside.
I sat down with them and explained the patient’s medical condition. Because it’s what I do. Because it’s what I’m supposed to do. They love me now. They wish I was their doctor. They think I’m a badass.
This isn’t the first time I got that compliment by the way.
Maybe I am. Sometimes I think that way at my job. I walk in the hallway with my swagger and speak in my head. “Yep, I’m a badass.”
Like that dude whose badly split lip I fixed back in the spring. When he came back he looked like his multilayer laceration NEVER HAPPENED because I fixed it like A FUCKIN BOSS.
Perhaps not in my fandoms. But in my office I can be. BADASS. Say it again for the people in the back. BAD-ASS. Ha!
Another patient’s husband sat their while I explained why his wife coughed at night, why she sounded the way she did and how we were going to approach it.
He said nobody’s given them the time of day to explain such and such. He told me I made a lot of sense. He thinks I’m a badass too.
Louder for the people in the back.
Randomly also, I see a lot of those emoji/compliment memes around. I always get tempted to reblog them but I worry that I will get zero response. Because I’m not a badass here.
I’ll just be a badass somewhere else. LMAO.
I’m tired. Sorry for my nonsensical ramblings, LOL.
Decided to color in the picture from yesterday’s post. Beast Boy’s and Megan’s relationship is like my favorite thing on the show. He is so adorable I just want to give him hugs all the time. This was so unexpected since I watched Teen Titans when I was little and he was completely different on that show. But they’re both still very talkative and hyper.
a/n: inspired by the song ‘secret love song’ by little mix ft. jason derulo | sorry it sucks.
[When you hold me in the street and you kiss me on the dance floor/I wish that it could be like that/Why can’t it be like that/‘Cause I’m yours]
I think about the times where we used to walk down the streets of LA, hand in hand. Never having to worry about paparazzi, or any fans finding about us. Dancing in clubs, or random places for that matter. Anywhere where he had room to spin me in. Pulling me close to his chest as he spun me around, ending it with a kiss. We were free in this world, able to do anything we desire, without a care in the world. We didn’t have to go behind someone’s back, or tip toe in the dark, just to be with each other. We had no secrets from this world. Everyone knew about us and it was no big deal.
[We keep behind closed doors/Every time I see you, I die a little more/Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls/It’ll never be enough]
Then he got famous. Then I started seeing him less. Then I couldn’t see him at all.
But when I could, when I get that one chance where he was actually in the same place as me, done with the traveling and touring, it was always in the dark. At my house. Never at his, nor someone else’s, not even Harrison’s or the Starbucks down the street. I remember the day where I finally got to see him again. It was after the Spider-Man: Homecoming premier in China, right between his next filming of Chaos Walking. I heard a knock on my door at two in the morning. Why so early? Well it turns out his flight home was delayed twice and he ended up getting home at one.
I heard a loud knock at my door. I ignored it, hoping it would go away. It didn’t. I groan, stripping my blanket off of me and walk towards the door.
“Tom? What are you doing here– not that I mind– but why so early?”
“I just got back. I couldn’t wait to see you.”
But why couldn’t he come the next day? Get some sleep first maybe. Well, he said he couldn’t wait any longer to see me again. But that started happening more often. The meetups at 2am. Not because of delayed flights though. He was busy busy busy. So he came when he could. So I saw him less and less and less. Every time I saw him, my heart broke a little more inside. We never saw each other during the day. Instead, he slept during his free time and met me at my house at two. In the morning. But why can’t he meet me during the day? And then be asleep during the time we usually meet? Like a normal person. It turns out, he wasn’t aloud to be with people like me. Non-celebrity kind of people. The media doesn’t like that. They would rather have him with his co-stars such as Zendaya, Laura Harrier, and maybe Daisy Ridley. But I understood. It was a ‘celebrity thing’. So I stuck with it. The 2am things. But it was never enough for me.
[It’s obvious you’re meant for me/Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly/Every second, every thought, I’m in so deep/But I’ll never show it on my face/But we know this, we got a love that is homeless]
He was the perfect guy for me. We’ve been together before anyone even knew who he was. We have this special connection that I don’t have with any other. Like a puzzle piece. Every piece of him just fits perfectly with every piece of me. Every second that I’m with him, I fall deeper in love. We have all this love, with no place to go.
[Why can’t you hold me in the street?/Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor?/I wish that it could be like that/Why can’t we be like that?/'Cause I’m yours]
Why can’t he hold me like he use to?
Tom wrapped his arms around my waist wherever we walked. Sometimes he just held my hand. Before we were dating, he had his arms around my shoulders. Wherever we were, no matter where we are, Tom could never seem to get his hands off of me. He was always so touchy. I didn’t mind.
“Toooomm,” I whined. “I’m trying to do my work.” I sat on my bed, criss cross applesauce, trying to finish my homework. Tom sat behind me, I was between his legs. “I don’t caaaaare,” he would say back, before wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me impossibly closer towards him. This wasn’t only at home though. No. In restaurants, he chooses to sit with me in booths. Just so he can have his arms around me while he eats. And if he can’t sit next to me, he makes sure we’re holding hands across the table. It’s like if he doesn’t touch me for at least one second, I will self destruct.
Why can’t he kiss me like he use to? Out where people know that he’s mine?
Tom was a big fan of PDA. He doesn’t care who sees, he will kiss me anywhere and everywhere. Tom especially liked to steal kisses in class. Where he knows he’s not supposed to. Tom would kiss my forehead, my cheek, or my lips, at the most possibly worst time, or best time. For example, in front of my parents. He doesn’t care. In front of my friends, and even in front of the cashier at Target who thought we were already annoying by the kisses in line.
I wish we could just be like that again, but why can’t we Tom?
[I don’t wanna hide us away/Tell the world about the love we making/I’m living for that day Someday/Why can’t I hold you in the street?/Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor?/I wish that we could be like that/Why can’t we be like that?/'Cause I’m yours, I’m yours]
“I don’t want to do this anymore. Sneaking off into the dark like we’re hiding something wrong.” I cross my arms, staring into his serious eyes. “Then don’t. Tell the world who I am, what we are.” He sighs, “I want to. But, love, you know I can’t. I can possibly get fired, this will start so much drama. Your face will be on the cover of every magazine and articles online. Do you really want that? Your personal life will be out in the open. Everything will be.” I sniff, a single tear rolling down the side of my cheek. Tom wipes it away. “But when I finally can,” he says, “and trust me darling, I’m living for that day.” I think about how we used to be, holding hands, stealing a kiss or two. A clip of Tom on the red carpet with his co-star, Zendaya, flashes on the television screen in front of us. His arms around her waist, as they look fiercely at the cameras in front of them. Why can’t we be like that? Wish that we could be like that.
Guys. I finally had a good reading month! 🙌🎉 🌼 I managed to read 5 books in May, all of them 500+ pages (except for The Song Rising) 😄 🌼 I am soooooo proud of myself 😊 And even better, all of them have been 5 star reads 🙌 (granted, 2 have been rereads but who caaaaares 😂) 🌼 Favourite of the month: probably A Court of Wings and Ruin because oh my god the feels I cry 😭 Brilliant ending to my favourite series ❤ 🌼 What books have you read in May? 😊 🌼
“Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.” ― Gillian Anderson [insp: (x)]