Fallout 4 Headcannon #11 Nick Valentine wounds & Lab fears

Nick Valentine psychology

*Many spoilers ahead for vanilla game & Far Harbor*

Cut for length as this is a long one but I like to keep note of theories and headcanons like this one for reference in future fics I write.  It helps me to understand the character(s) better and to decide on what choices they would make in given circumstances and situations.

Nick’s wounds & fear of laboratories.

One thing that has always tugged my heart strings with Nick is his determination to keep moving forwards despite what life throws at him.  He talks very little about himself and his own problems (usually) but despite having a very strong personality and appears practically un-breakable in spirit there are many deep and sensitive wounds in this guy’s past.

Talking to Nick he uses lines such as;

‘I wouldn’t normally bother you with this but I feel like I can trust you at this point.’
‘Some of our prior conversations to the contrary I’m not usually one for long sob stories.’

This guy is anything but an open book and for those who want to know him better they need to rely heavily on time and experience, picking up on small details and choosing their moments to ask questions carefully.

‘Are you okay?’
‘Do I look okay to you!?’

We receive an apology very quickly after this outburst but it doesn’t change the fact that he snapped at (depending how you are playing) possibly his closest friend and confidante.  

Why?  Because he is frightened.  He is scared and is likely nursing a wound that is still tender even after 100 years.

We learn early on that he was some sort of prototype experiment and kept isolated.  We now know from DiMA what exactly they were prototypes for and the kinds of experiments they were subjected to;

‘I watched you wake up not knowing who or what you were so many times.’

This sounds horrible on a normal level but with Nick it goes an extra step.  The last memory that synth Nick could possibly have of the original Nick Valentine is of the man going to the C.I.T building to have his brain scanned.

Still in the C.I.T area for Nick to wake up he likely will have defaulted on that last memory – a human man going in for something he’d been hoping might help him overcome some of the horrors in his recent life only to wake up strapped down to a bed with these scientists pulling bits of wire and metal out of his head and body.

Keep reading

Other cool quests you should have been able to do with Piper with investigative journalism:

  • Talk to any of the pre-populated settlements like Abernathy farm about what their lives are like and why they joined the Minutemen.
  • Someone drained the Quincy quarry! Oh wait, it’s full of assholes. Avoid.
  • If you help Arlen Glass she’ll write about his quest to bring joy to children and to please donate any giddyup parts they find. Anyone who scraps one of Arlen’s toys should be shot.
  • To discover what a ‘laundromat’ is and lament that it sounds like such a good business idea, if only wastelanders could trust each other with their clothes (if they have any).
  • People eating food from Longneck Lukowski’s cannery are getting sick. Why? Inevitable conclusion: eating ghouls is still cannibalism.
  • Apparently there’s something neat at the Old Gullet sinkhole. Nope. It’s just a sinkhole. With a deathclaw in it.
  • The Boston mayoral shelter, an example of the callousness and hubris of those in power at the expense of the people and the tragic consequences. (Hint hint.)
  • Travelling to Salem to research it’s spooky rumors. A Sole Survivor with high intelligence can tell her about its sordid history and the dangers of mass hysteria and unfairly persecuting others (hint hint). Or your SS can lie for shits and giggles.
  • The Boston Bugle building! Not only is it a great place to research the history of journalism but provides examples of how society’s unwillingness to accept the truth meant that it lost its chance to prevent their nuclear annihilation. (Hint hint.)
  • Who are the Pillars of the Community and how do they trick so many suckers appeal to the people of the wasteland? How are charismatic people able to manipulate others to act against their own interests? (You get the idea.)

If you get high enough affection with her she trusts you enough to go for the big scores; to interview the most dangerous people in the Commonwealth.

  • The Brotherhood of Steel. If you pass a speech check or are high enough in rank you can convince Elder Maxon that an honest interview will people civilians at ease. Maxon naturally spouts propaganda and quotes the codex but gets unexpectedly awkward when asked about himself.
  • Raiders. Yeah, for real. She sets up a deal with some people in Goodneighbor to speak to a gang on neutral territory (with Hancock promising hellfire if they hurt her). Why do they do the things they do? Have they considered going straight? Would they consider joining up with one of the factions? What’s up with the mounted heads? Doesn’t that smell?
  • The Gunners. Piper has always wanted to see the Galaxy News Network station and once you do a few quests for them to ‘pay entry’ she interviews them at the studio room (squee!). Naturally she hates their guts for what they did to Quincy and the whole thing is tense and threatening.
  • Time to go big-time; the Institute. You investigate the C.I.T. ruins and find them empty; she’s not sure if that’s a relief or not. If you’ve met the Institute you can try to set up an interview but unless you’ve done a lot of quests or pass an extremely high speech check it won’t happen. If you do you meet a courser you basically tells you nothing but ‘stay out of our way’.

Basically Piper is cool and deserves better.

FISTO PRIME: A valuable addition to my portfolio.

From the Skype Squad:

“Liberty Prime but with Fisto’s programming
Can you imagine?
- @definitelyflowers

-walks to C.I.T-
-thrust fists- ASSUME. THE. POSITION.
would literally send the institute into poundtown
…..maybe that would have actually been a good plan
- @cassafra5

the day the Commonwealth became the Orgywealth.
- @danseypants

Hey BoS paladin, simply refuse and then ask it for a refund! That’ll end everything and it’ll give you 10 caps!

Tokyo Ghoul:RE Summer Camp AU

Almost complete

Because screw getting anything important done this is more fun and why not.

Camp Coolie Ghoulie was a regular camp 6 years ago under a different name but it was shut down due to legal problems surrounding a near drowning. The camp recently reopened under new management as a camp and is known to specially cater to kids with various food allergies and stuff that would cause problems at a normal camp. (because you know I’m playing off the ghoul thing here though the AU doesn’t necessarily have to be read as a ghoul AU)

The Trouble Cabin

(Head Counselor) Haise Sasaki (17) - One of the counselors in charge of the “trouble cabin” filled with Quinx. Very zealous about his job despite the fact he scared of lakes and insects and he loves taking care of his campers.

(C.I.T. Assistant Counselor) Touka Kirishima (15) - A C.I.T. (counselor in training) working as the assistant counselor to Haise.

  • Urie Kuki (10) - Got put in the trouble cabin because he refused to behave as a teammate in group activities when he was in Hirako’s cabin. (For instance causing his canoe to rotate in a circle because he refused to row along with the Kuroiwa and the rest of his cabin.
  • Shirazu Ginshi (11) - He was originally in a different cabin but got in a fight with a camper he thought was insulting insulting Touka (who he has a crush on).
  • Mutsuki Tooru  (10) - Mutsuki is a good kid though rather shy, he’s in the trouble cabin however due to the fact that he was rather scared of most activities and had the unfortunate habit of accidentally injuring himself in the activities he did participate in. Everyone agreed he could use the supervision of Haise.
  • Saiko Yonebayashi (11) - In the trouble cabin because she refused to give up her electronics and was often caught playing on her gameboy during activities and watching movies when she should be sleeping.
  • Ken/Oneshot Kaneki (12) - Ken got put into the trouble cabin as soon as he arrived, some counselors whisper he’s lucky to have been let back in after last year (whatever happened last year no one will say).  

Cabin One

(Head Counselor) Hirako Take - The Head of cabin one who is the best cabin in all the cabin competitions as well as one of the most well behaved.

(C.I.T. Assistant Counselor) Kuramoto Itou (16) - A C.I.T. (counselor in training) working as the assistant to Hirako.

  • Takeomi Kuroiwa (11) - A member of Hirako’s cabin who takes games very seriously and apologies if his cabin ever loses competitions.
  • Seidou Takizawa (12) - A bit over competitive, he has a tendency to get uset if he thinks he’s dragging down his cabin.
  • Furuta Nimura (11) - is a camper who looks innocent until his cabin realizes he’s been helping another cabin win the cabin competition, also he’s been seen throwing rocks at forest animals, bad child.
  • Hairu Ihei (10) - a camper in cabin one she is very interested in following Arima because in her 10 year old brain would be as awesome as becoming as good at killing bugs as him. She prides herself at being better at it than all the boys in her cabin, also she’s very good at archery.

Cabin Two

(Head Counselor) Eto (19) - She’s not above messing with her fellow counselors and is often know to play pranks.

(C.I.T. Assistant Counselor) Rize Kamishiro (16 ½) - As a C.I.T. she still sometimes encourages cheating in competitions among the campers, and is probably the type of person who would push Haise into the lake for fun. She went to the former camp when it was still open.

  • Naki (12) - A camper who often cries because he want to go home to see his big brother.
  • Ayato Kirishima (10) - A camper who like high place, concidently he can sometimes be found climbing too high in trees. “Get down Kirishima you’re not a bird!”
  • Hinami Fueguchi (9 ½) - One of the youngest campers and the “little sister” of cabin two.
  • Kanae Von Rosewald (10) - Is a camper who likes to hang around Tsukiyama and is always close to getting put in the trouble cabin for swearing at other campers in German.
  • Miza (12) - A camper usually found with Naki following her around, sometimes to her annoyance. Naki is the bane of Miza’s existence sometimes as he reveals everything whenever their playing any game that requires secrecy.
  • Tatara (12)- He’s a camper (because I say so) He likes to call everyone liars when they talk about the camp myths and often goes of on his own trying to find out the true behind the myths and when asked what he’s doing he says, “Smoking out a liar.”

Cabin Three

(Head Counselor) Hideyoshi Nagachika (18) - Also activities coordinator in charge of all outdoor activities such as canoeing, swimming, and hiking.

(Joint Counselor) Suzuya Juuzou (17) - He has to take over for Hide a lot since he has more than one job. He’s know as the fun counselor but also the counselor with the most safety violations. He’s sometimes mistaken for a camper because of his size.

  • Hanbee Abara (12) - The poor boy is often mistaken as a C.I.T. or counselor due too his height and is usually quite nervous and attached to Suzuya.
  • Shironeki (10) - Camper who spend some time in Cabin 2 but was eventually moved into Cabin three to be with his twin who had a tendency to become upset when he wasn’t around.
  • Kuroneki (10) - Camper who is very quiet and attached to his twin, sometimes picked on for his eyepatch.
  • Kurona Yasuhisa (11) - Even more attached to the hip with her twin than the boys, she and her sister along with Shironeki are  the only people with a lot of competitive ability.
  • Nashiro Yasuhisa (11) - Along with her sister the twins don’t trust Counselor Suzuya very much, they also tend to get in arguments with Shironeki.


Arima Kishou - The head counselor, the strong and silent type, Haise has the tendency to call him up in a panic to take care of bugs in the cabin (particularly centipedes) and so all Haise’s campers call him “the insect reaper”

Tsukiyama Shuu (19) - Is in charge of teaching the campers about nature, he loves teaching about things like flowers but has a natural hatred for bugs and dirt so everyone wonder why he works at a summer camp.

Nishiki Nishio - Is the camp nurse who keeps almost getting fired for swearing, “How the fuck did you manage to fall and do that!” “Nishio the children!”

Amon Koutarou (22) - The Camp’s lifeguard (his staff has become a safety poll), Haise wants to talk to him but more often than not he’s out on the dock and Haise doesn’t want to risk walking out there.

Akira Mado - One of the head counselors and the archery instructor (she’s a very good shot).

Uta - In charge of crafts and camp competitions “It’s my job to make sure the campers have more fun.” he says also, “We’re making masks again today.”

Yomo Renji - The camp handyman who most campers are at least slightly scared of, and they tell stories about.

Yoshimura - Is the head cook at the camp which is a lot more complicated than it sounds seeing as a lot of the campers have food allergies he and his staff must cater to.

Yoriko Kosaka (16) - Assistant cook to Yoshimura, she love making the food cute for the younger kids.

Ui Koori - Is one of the camp coordinators he’s usually busy trying to make sure no one accidentally gets the camp sued or kills a child.


Chibi Shironeki (because I say so) - A legend exists in the camp that a young camper once died due to the negligence of the camp counselors (someone watched to much Friday the 13th) and now the small white haired boy haunts the camp. Saiko -who is far too interested in pop culture for her own good- often warns Haise, “Don’t have sex mamman, the ghost boy will get you” Haise doesn’t have the heart to tell her that the legend was born after a controversy where he almost drowned as a student. (it’s also why he’s afraid of the lake).

Kijima Shiki- Is yet another legend at the camp, the patchwork man will hunt you down with his chainsaw if you’re out of bed past curfew. Some nights you can even hear his chainsaw. In reality the sound is just Yomo, who for some reason insists on doing most maintenance work in the dead of night.

Banjou - is an actual bear (until I can think of something better for him to do).

I’m adding more people later tell me who you want? Anymore campers to fill in the ranks?


I’m not saying that this is the same flag and the reason that it’s the only dirty, old thing in the otherwise spotless, sterile Institute – and more specifically in Shaun’s personal room – is because Shaun did leave the Institute exactly once before the fateful meeting with the Sole Survivor on top of the C.I.T. ruins: 

Namely for Sanctuary Hills, in full hazmat suit, looking about the house that he could have called home if things had been different and taking one memento with him. (There is no room for sentimentality, but surely there is for this, isn’t there?)

I’m not saying that at all. But what if.

On Danse

I’m endlessly curious about the scar over Danse’s eye. Like, did he earn that in some heroic battle against a horde of wasteland abominations, championing the Brotherhood of Steel in bloody victory?

…Or did Institute scientists carefully measure the placement, the depth, and the curvature of it for him? Did they have to formulate a plan to best to replicate that imperfection in synthetic flesh? Were there heated arguments over how to ensure it wouldn’t heal over too well or too little, but just enough to cut through the brow and keep the hair from growing back?

Nobody can say when M7-97 actually became “Danse”. Maybe he was a runaway unit, saved by the Railroad and smuggled into D.C. to lead the life they programmed for him prior to his enlistment. For whatever reason no facial reconstruction was performed. Risky, but it’s a possibility.

Equally plausible is that the synth was part of a nefarious experiment. Perhaps M7-97 was created with a specific purpose in mind. His integration into the ranks of the Brotherhood may have been orchestrated by the Institute in an attempt to answer the biggest question needling at their collective ego in those early days of Gen-3′s: Are we capable of creating an artificial man lifelike enough to fool our greatest enemy, even as he lives among them?

One must wonder if there was once a human Paladin N. Danse, captured in the field and imprisoned within the old C.I.T. ruins. If so, how hard did he fight his impending fate? Did he muster up every once of willpower to resist the brain scans that copied his memories? Was he restrained while the staff cataloged his battle scars and mapped his musculature? Did he curse at the researchers, spit at them, thrash against his bindings while they tossed around ideas about how to recreate his visage for his doppleganger?

Did Danse ever look at the next gurney over and see M7-97, the soulless construct wearing his face, being prepared to assume the life he’d built for himself?

I think these are the questions that Danse the synth would lose sleep over as he struggled with his nature. He might grow jealous of Valentine, because at least Nick knows what he is: an echo, but one whose existence didn’t require harm. The real Nick Valentine was 200 years dead. In his case nobody was killed in order to make room for a robot impostor. But Danse? Danse has no way to know if a good man - the man he thought he was - was murdered in order for him to have an identity.

Deacon might nose around for leads on synths relocated to the Capitol Wasteland, but the Railroad is decentralized to prevent that exact sort of information from being dug up. Besides, the Railroad has been hit too hard and too frequently over the years. Agents die, tourists vanish, allies turn rogue, safe houses go dark. If there’s anyone still around who might remember moving a package with Danse’s face, Deacon can’t find them.

The Survivor may subtly browse through some records in the Institute’s Synth Retention division and find nothing about a unit with the designation M7-97. Either it has been lost so long that the Institute is convinced there is no point devoting resources to its retrieval, or they know damn well where it’s located. M7-97 is masquerading as a decorated member of the Brotherhood of Steel, right where they left it years ago. A roaring success. Project closed.

Danse has no answers. He has no relatives or history or even an idea of how long he’s been walking this earth. All he has are these people who stand between him and the muzzle of the executioner’s rifle; people who he never imagined would do so based on past interactions. Valentine, the synth he’d scathingly referred to as “a thing”. Piper, the civilian resolute to stop the Institute from replacing innocents with synths. Deacon, the liar with an agenda obviously opposed to his own. Hancock, the ghoul and chemfiend Danse despised on principle.

And the Survivor whom Danse himself had brought into the order. Someone who was supposed to be resolved to end the synth menace, but instead not only gave their C.O. a chance to keep living but also a reason to.

Someday Danse will realize those misfits and malcontents with whom he never fully got along may not have been his friends per say, but they were his family. The truest and most devoted one he never thought to ask for.

I have a lot of questions about Nick Valentine.  Hell, our Nick Valentine and the other Nick Valentine, really.  Timeline questions, general questions…mostly I got confused by the ‘Case closed on Eddie Winter’ article seeming to be dated on the 19th of October, 2077…so, only a few days before the bombs…and then I got to thinking:

- When was Jenny Lands murdered?  At what point during Winter’s End, how long into the investigation, how long before Nick’s scan?  How long did Nick’s depressive episode last, relative to the murder and the bombs?   At what point did his captain order the scan, during this episode?  When did he become concerned enough to suggest radical therapy?

- When did the actuality of Operation Winter’s End become clear to Nick?  Did he suspect anything beforehand?  How long after Jenny’s murder?  How long before the scan, how long before Eddie was publicly exonerated, how long before the bombs fell?

- The brain scan: when, specifically, did it occur?  Was it legitimately intended as a method of depression therapy, or was there an ulterior motive from the off?  If legitimate, did it actually alleviate Nick’s depression, or did it not work at all?  If it worked, to what degree?   How did the people at C.I.T. come to learn of Nick?  Did they choose him specifically, or did they just advertise a new technique?  If they weren’t actually trying to cure or treat depression, what exactly were they trying to do?  Was something about Nick somehow important to their goal, that made him a good choice?  Or was it just random chance?

-  Creating Synth!Nick:  What were the circumstances surrounding the decision to use implanted memories from a living man, as the core programming of a synth?  What were they trying to do?  Was Nick an early attempt at a Courser?  What caused him to ‘fail’ whatever test was put to him, by what criteria did they decide to discard him?  Is this a typical process?  Why did they throw him on a trash heap on the surface rather than deactivating / scrapping him?  Or resetting him?  Did they intend him to die, and someone intervened?  Did someone who’d worked on/with him teleport him out of harm’s way, only to be unable to contact him further?  If so, who?  Why?  Are there any other surviving Gen-2 synths?  Are they unique, like Nick - tied to the memories of a single person?  Or were they a mishmash of fragments?  Was Nick truly the only one of his kind? Did they ever try memory implantation again?  Was Nick the first, the last, or neither?  Or both?  Was…oh, jesus fucking christ, this only just occurred to me…was there only one Synth!Nick, or did they copy his memories into more than one body to have a wider group of test subjects?

-  Eddie Winter: when did he go to ground?  When did he take the drug?   Was he researching immortality before his 'exoneration’ or was this subsequent?  How did Nick know about the drug Eddie took?  Was this a memory from Human!Nick or did synth!Nick find out about it afterwards?  How long was the interval between Nick realizing Winter would escape justice, and public notification of the same fact?

-  Human!Nick:  Did he survive the bombs?  Or did he die in the initial blast?  Did he survive that only to die soon after?  Did he also become a ghoul?  Is he still alive today?  If so, has all of his accumulated trauma altered him from the upright, moral person he was previously?   Did he ever try to get to Winter himself?  Did he try, and fail?  Die in the attempt?  Did he return to work at any point between the scan and the bombs?  Was he the 'detective’ the serial killer in the Fens Street Sewer addresses in his tapes?  Did he and the killer die there together (Nick, with no goal of leaving alive, having pursued him)?  If he’s dead, exactly how long did he live after the brain scan, how many memories does he have that our Nick doesn’t share?


ask-gizmo-the-ghoul  asked:

Hey, if @Railroad-Blues drew a pre-Ghoul Avery...would it be too much to ask to see a Pre-Ghoul Mercy? Maybe Toby too if you're not overstocked on stuff to draw...? =)

Lol no worries! I actually have a pic of pre-war mercy Here, and here’s a picture of Toby, pre-war c:

Toby was Jocelyn, pre-war. Smart little bookish gal who went to C.I.T, but never really felt… Right, with themselves. Didn’t feel right with how they felt or looked. 
The bombs dropping and ghoulification made it easier for them to be who they really felt like, made them realize that with all the changes, this was the best one. 

Toby actually felt like himself for the first time.