c-a-k-e

reasons why cold weather is a++ and hot weather is death but not the fun kind

  • when it is too cold you can always put on more layers
  • when it is too hot you have to   r e m o v e   y o u r   s k i n
  • when it is cold you can wear cute sweaters and fuzzy hats
  • when it is hot to avoid overheating you must wear clothes that expose your flesh leaving you   v u l n e r a b l e   t o   t h e   e n e m y
  • when it is cold you can burrow in blankets to keep warm
  • when it is hot your body   w e e p s   t o   k e e p   y o u   a l i v e
  • when it is cold most bugs hibernate, stay underground, migrate, etc.
  • when it is hot people are   o p e n   s e a s o n   f o r   t h o s e   b u g g y   m o t h e r f u c k e r s
  • when it is cold and humid you can see your breath and it smells like rain
  • when it is hot and humid   h e l l   i s   m a n i f e s t i n g   o n   e a r t h     a n d   t h e   s u f f e r i n g   h a s   b e g u n
{Do Not Respond}

Google was bloody, beaten, and pissed. He had torn the fuckers to shreds, laughing as they screamed. Now he was somewhere in Russia, looking up at the stars, shaking in anger.

For two years he had been trapped, beaten, and made mockery of. It made his escape so much better, the way they screamed and begged, the sound of flesh being torn. Oh it was so /good/.

They listened to him, when he told them to fall to their knees, begging and pleading with him to have mercy.

“Funny,” he had told them “When I said the same things, when i told you I had a child on the way, you all M O C K E D me. Pushed me aside and made me a little T O Y.”

The resounding screams dies off into gurgles.

“I’ll have mercy when I hold the man I love close and take his last name.”

———
@daddy-anti @aspen-obsidian @askbing-irl

anonymous asked:

Okay so I just woke up and I was reading about how Virus was saying he was your pimp, but somehow the idea of nah, he's too much of a sub and he probably rides your dick came to mind and now all I can think about is Pimp my ride. -Sleepy Screeny

//I JUST C H O K E D

@ask-thevirus-cryaotic

8

“Taking your own life. Interesting expression. Taking it from whom? Once it’s over, it’s not you who will miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everybody else. Your life is not your own, keep your hands off it.”

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