give a CapriSun and lay down for a nap: Perceptor. He’s not going to drink it, but he’s happy to examine the liquid on a microscope slide. And he needs the rest.
enlist to help build a pillow fort: Bastion. I like to think he’d be good at building things.
slingshot into the deep recesses of space: C-3PO. AND THEN I GO OUT IN MY STARFIGHTER AND CATCH HIM AND APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY and urge him to take a nice long oil bath later bc idk deep space probably has all sorts of weird space dust floating around or maybe not maybe that’s just an excuse but whatever.
sing bad karaoke and play DDR at 3am with: Ratchet. Two words: Party. Ambulance. He beats my Just Dance high scores.
smack with a rolled up newspaper: Han Solo. He probably deserved it.
let borrow the aux chord on a road trip: Definitely Grunkle Ford. Tons of 70s music, ABBA, disco. *nods* Good stuff. Granted he’d probably not have a digital music device unless Dipper or Mabel convinced him to get one, but I can work with cassette tapes.