are you happy? this is duo interview’s last question.
jonghyun: i’m going to be happy. (*) for the past six months, i’ve thought about this the most. about happiness. my disposition in and of itself tends to torment me. for people like me, it isn’t easy to be happy. though on the other hand, it is possible to grow.
so, now, you want to grow but also be happy, too.
jonghyun: a few years ago, i was crying and whining at my mom and my sister. when i was really drunk. i asked my mom and sister …, it wasn’t long after we’d moved. i asked them if they were happy. after i’d been drinking, i woke up my entire family who’d already gone to bed, like some ahjussi. it had been my number one goal in life, you know, to make my mom and sister happy. they both woke up and told me they were happy. but i was so jealous at the fact that they were able to reply that they were, indeed, happy. because it wasn’t like that for me. i told them while sobbing, i want to be happy too. then i felt like i’d done my mom and sister wrong. but ever since then, i started contemplating about happiness. for about six months, i pondered specifically over what i would need to do in order to become happy. i think that time of transformation has come. i think i need to become happy, now. i must become happy. i am going to be happy. (*)
[translator’s note: the full nuance of “행복하려고요” is a little hard to translate directly. it’s kind of like saying “i am going to try to be happy”, like he’s telling himself he will be happy no matter what, and he will do all he can to ensure his happiness from now on.