by: funkified

@funkified & @homoprincx: thank you both so much!! T _ T I’m glad you like it!

anon: probably not soon, but they’ll be back up whenever I re-open my shop! I’m pretty busy right now so I’m not sure at all when that will be though :(

@shinde-naite: brush info is here!

@lukedablook: I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKE THE RAT FASHION PICS!! sometimes I consider continuing that series haha…!!!

PS sorry as always that it took me a while to get to some of these! I’m not super active around tumblr anymore; I post a lot more often on my twitter!

Ten Greatest R&B Bands of All-Time

Ten Greatest R&B Bands of All-Time From About Entainment

1. Earth, Wind & Fire

Founded by Maurice White (who passed away February 3, 2016 at the age of 74) in Chicago in 1969, Earth, Wind & Fire is one of the greatest bands in music history. The group has sold over 100 million albums, including three triple platinum and two double platinum albums. Known as “The Elements of the Universe,” EW&F combines elements of African music, Latin music, R&B, jazz, and rock into a unique sound featuring the dynamic lead voice of Philip Bailey. Recording for over 40 years, the group has won six Grammy Awards, a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award, four American Music Awards, and has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, NAACP Image Awards Hall of Fame, Songwriters Hall of Fame, and the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Earth, Wind & Fire’s concerts are legendary. In the 1970s and 1980s, the group featured amazing illusions, including bass player Verdine White performing while being levitated above the stage, and the members appearing and vanishing in transparent cylinders as if they were traveling through space via the Star Trek transporter beam. Earth, Wind & Fire has recorded numerous classics over five decades, including “After The Love Has Gone (1979), "Shining Star” (1975), and “That’s The Way of the World” (1975).

2. The Isley Brothers

Recording for over 50 years, The Isley Brothers began as a vocal trio in the 1950s in Cincinnati, Ohio with Ronald Isley as lead singer performing with brothers Rudolph and O'Kelly Isley. The group expanded to six members in 1973 with their 3 + 3 album. Younger brothers Ernie lsley (guitar) and Marvin Isley (bass) joined the group along with Rudolph’s brother-in-law, Chris Jasper (keyboards).

The Isley Brothers have released four double platinum, six platinum, and four gold albums. Seven of their singles have reached number one on the Billboard R&B chart. Two of their songs, “Shout,” and Twist and Shout.“ were inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame. The Isleys were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1992. They have also received a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award, and a BET Lifetime Achievement Award.

3. Parliament-Funkadelic

George Clinton is the legendary leader of the bands Parliament and Funkadelic which record separately and perform together in concert. Parliament began in the 1960s in New Jersey as a doo-wop vocal group called The Parliaments, and Funkadelic served as their band. The Parliaments eventually evolved into a mainstream funk group under the name Parliament, and Funkadelic assumed its own identity as a psychedelic soul group inspired by Jimi Hendrix and Sly & The Family Stone. Known collectively as Parliament-Funkadelic, P-Funk became the most outrageous African-American band of the 1970s and 80s, famous for landing the "Mothership” on stage during 4 hour marathon concerts. Mastermind Clinton is a genius lyricist who is idolized in the hip-hop world, and his talented musicians, especially keyboardist Bernie Worrell, bassist Bootsy Collins (from James Brown’s band), and guitarists Michael Hampton, Eddie Hazel, and Gary Shider are worshipped by rock fans.

Parliament-Funkadelic hit number one five times on the Billboard R&B singles chart, including “Flash Light” (1978), “One Nation Under A Groove” (1978), and “(Not Just) Knee Deep” (1979). P-Funk was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 1997.

4. Kool & The Gang

Formed in 1964 in Jersey City, New Jersey, Kool & The Gang has been performing for over 50 years. Led by bass player Robert “Kool” Bell, the group began as a jazz instrumental band before transitioning into R&B and funk. Kool & The Gang has sold over 70 million records, including five platinum, three gold, and one double platinum album (Emergency in 1984). Its eight number one singles include “Celebration” (1980), “Ladies’ Night” (1979), “and "Joanna” (1983). Their honors include five American Music Awards, a Soul Train Legend Award, and a Grammy for Album of the Year for Saturday Night Fever (which included their song, “Open Sesame”).

5. Sly & the Family Stone

Formed in 1967 in San Francisco by Sylvester Stewart, Sly & The Family Stone was one of the most influential bands of the 1960s and 70s. They were the leaders of the “psychedelic soul” movement, combining R&B and rock into their own unique sound. The Family Stone were trailblazers with their integrated, multi-gender lineup. Their unforgettable performance at the historic Woodstock Festival in 1969 elevated their stature to one of the most revered acts in the world.

The group released three platinum albums, including the five times platinum Greatest Hits in 1970. They also recorded four number one singles including “Everyday People” (1968), “Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)” (1969), and “Family Affair” (1971). The band was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1993.

6. Maze featuring Frankie Beverly

The group Maze featuring Frankie Beverly began as Raw Soul in Philadelphia in 1970. After moving to the San Francisco Bay area, they were discovered by Marvin Gaye who renamed the band, Maze. Beginning with their 1977 self-titled debut release, all of their eight studio albums have been certified gold, plus their 1981 Live In New Orleans album. Maze has two number one singles, “Back In Stride” in 1985, and “Can’t Get Over You” in 1989. Their signature song, “Before I Let Go,” only reached number 13 on the Billboard R&B chart in 1981, however, it is one of the greatest live party jams of all-time. Now in its fifth decade, Maze continues to be one of the top touring attractions in R&B, and is a favorite of the annual

7. The Commodores

Formed in 1968 on the campus of Tuskegee Institute in Tuskegee, Alabama, The Commodores were one of the most successful R&B acts in he mid 1970s and early 1980s. Prior to releasing their first album Machine Gun on Motown Records in 1974, the band toured in 1971 as the opening act for The Jackson Five. With Lionel Richie as lead vocalist, the group recorded four number one albums, and six number one singles, including “Three Times Lady” (1978), “Easy” (1977), and “Still” (1979). After Richie left for a solo career, The Commodores won their first Grammy Award in 1986: Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals for “Nightshift.”

8. Rufus featuring Chaka Khan

Rufus featuring Chaka Khan recorded four gold and two platinum albums, including four number one albums, in the 1970s. The band hit the top of the Billboard R&B singles chart five times, including “Sweet Thing” (1975), “Do You Love What You Feel,” (1979) and “Ain’t Nobody” (1983) which won a Grammy Award for Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals. Their first hit single, “Tell Me Something Good,” composed by Stevie Wonder, also won a Grammy for Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals. Khan left the group for a solo career in 1978, however she reunited with the band for the 1983 album, Stompin’ at the Savoy – Live.

9. Cameo

In 1974, Larry Blackmon formed the group New York City Players which became one of the greatest funk bands known as Cameo. From 1979-1988, the group recorded eight gold and one platinum albums. It also reached number one on the Billboard R&B singles chart four times, including two consecutive chart topping songs in 1987, “Word Up!” and “Candy.” In 1987 and 1988, Cameo won an American Music Award for Favorite Soul/R&B Band/Duo/Group, and two Soul Train Music Awards: Best R&B/Soul Single - Group, Band or Duo (“Word Up!”), and Best R&B/Soul Album - Group, Band or Duo (Word Up!)

10. The Ohio Players

The Ohio Players dominated the mid 1970s with four consecutive number one albums on the Billboard R&B chart (including three platinum) Skin Tight (1974), Fire (1974), Honey (1975), and Contradiction (1976). The band also recorded five chart topping singles, including “Funky Worm” (1973), “Sweet Sticky Thing” (1975), “Love Rollercoaster” (1975). In addition to their distinctive, funkified sound, The Ohio Players were famous for the most erotic album covers

Yeah, I do tend to be a rather gloomy sort, don’t I?  Oh, well…   The Cowboy Junkies’ version of Sweet Jane is good, but if I’m listening to a version by anyone other than Lou Reed, I’ll always choose Mott the Hoople’s.  Gang of Four was a great band.  I saw them several times, but I don’t remember them ever playing Sweet Jane when I saw them.  I’m gonna have to make a run by YouTube to see if’s there.  I’d like to here what must be their funkified version.

youtube

Lyrics to the Cypher vid

Click Click, Click Click Boom

step into the room with that muthafckin doom                                     

on the beat like a treble , spittin fire like the devil

if you step up to my level, all that beef is gon be settled

its tha, sista sista,

tryna kick  it witcha

niggas cross the globe beggin me to paint they picture,

its tha O.G. the N.E.Z the funkified original muthafuckin MC

I be the  niggity nezi, no nigga can test me, dont even contest me

I got that thing, keep that wadda dadda ding, 

murder anyone you bring if they step into the ring 

I’m the illest, grab ya muthafckin medication,

when I breathe on the track its a hyperventilation

all you rappers is abysmal, rhymes schemes is dismal 

you mental like asylum, you can’t step into my phylum 

I be wildin and hot sidin’ while profiling on you

while I’m ridin I be shinin and be stylin on you

I be rollin, click be swollen, then be holdin, no controllin, cops patrolling ,  lives is stolen, bullet holes but no consoling 

all you niggas feces, you aint my species

you can’t reach me, even in your Mitsubishis

Holla Holla, BLOT, bringin all wahala

prayin like its Salat, while Im stealing all your gwala

 Im da wan wit da gun bout to murder some

when I Hop pon the track, they say murder cum

I got the kinda flow ya wanna bang ya head to

I’m killin everybody if they got an issue

Listen, flow keep switchin, servin out evictions

rappin everyday like its payin my tuition

I’m the one hitta spitta, quick to pull the trigga

the thrilla in manilla fading all you bitch niggas

Hardest rapper in the cypher and I own a purse

and If they flow sound cold its cause I wrote the verse. 

And now, a selection of obscure 18th and 19th century words that I think we should bring back because they’re really fun to say.

Snoutfair: a man with a handsome face.

Resistentialism: the feeling that an inanimate object is being ride or spiteful.

Beef-witted: dumb, cowlike; thought to be caused by eating too much beef.

Jirble: to pour a liquid unsteadily, with a shaky hand.

Skybosh: to engage in practical joking, goofing off, or other non sense.

Breedbate: someone who engages in skybosh.

Curglaff: the shock a person feels when he or she dives into cold water.

Engastrimyth: a ventriloquist.

Lunting: smoking a pipe while walking down the street.

Funkify: to flee in terror.

Slubberdegullion: a slob.

Bookwright: as a shipwrights makes ships, and a playwright makes plays, a bookwright is an author.

Dumfungled: used up.

Gobemouche: from the French for “fly swallower,” it refers to a person so dumb their mouth is always hanging open.

Crinets: hair.

Scribbet: drawing charcoal.

Miscomfrumpled: wrinkled, rumpled, or creased.

Slangrel: anything that is long.

Groak: to watch another person eat, hoping they’ll offer you some of their food.

Let’s try to work some of these back into everyday use!

Don’t play with your food!

This was the face that greeted me first thing in the morning.  For a moment there, I was wondering if she was nesting (even though she’s spayed) and if I needed to make a vet appointment.

I soon came to find out that Big Human gave River a large handful of hay to distract her from her favorite game of “bunny jacks” (where she’ll pick up a piece of hay then drop it while simultaneously seeing how many times she can dig at the ground before it hits the floor).

River was then inspired to create a new game…

This new game consisted of racing in a circle around her cage while picking up more hay with each successive lap.

This game went on for 5 minutes.  She’s looking pretty proud of herself here and is preparing to make another lap to go for a new high score.

Simon is intrigued by her antics while I’m wondering exactly how much hay River can cram into her mouth at once.

(Note:  That white blob is to protect your eyes from funkified litter box–no one really wants to see that.  You’re welcome.)

She managed two more laps before she thumped, came to a stop and pointed her nose to the sky.  I abruptly ended her game at this point because a bunny pointing their nose in the air usually means that they can’t breathe.  I gently yoinked the hay bundle out of her mouth…

And River collapsed exhausted, but with a new-found appreciation for why we don’t play with our food.  She had a wicked case of cotton mouth and I was picking tiny bits of hay out of her mouth for a short while after.

You’ll be glad to know that River has not attempted to go for a new personal record in this little game of hers.  Lesson learned.

Celebration #s 9 and 10. Today, I celebrate Lisa and Amanda (and Rachel).

In light of what is going on for some of my favorite fan fiction writers, I have decided to add on to my “celebrate someone” posts. Even though I already made this post about Rachel yesterday, she is in inherently included in this post as well. :D

Lisa (aka xmonalisa) and Amanda (aka privatestorm) are awesome. They write some of the best fan fics around. Their characterization is spot on, and their plot ideas are unique and well executed. Recently, one of the stories jointly written by these three ladies has been plagiarized. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say this other “author” should have thought twice before messing with the Puckleberry bubble.

Amanda and Lisa (and of course Rachel) have always been more than accommodating when it comes to giving people advice or props about their own writing (note that I said their own writing). Like I said, these ladies are some of the nicest people I’ve talked with when it comes to writing. They do not deserve to have their work treated this way. Yet, through it all, through their anger (rightfully placed of course) and through their hurt, they are still super classy.

So, today, Lisa and Amanda (and Rachel), I celebrate YOU. <3

The best bunny game ever!

It’s called ‘Distract the Human While They’re Cleaning’.

Near as we can figure, points are awarded thusly:

1 point:

Making the human use one hand to scoot the bunny away from what they’re doing.

Forcing the human to move an item of interest out of reach of the bunny.

5 points:

Fully stopping the human from what they’re doing.  This can be accomplished in any manner of the game player’s choosing, such as:

Forcing the human to use both hands to scoot/pick up the bunny.

Knocking over/stealing/eating the human’s cleaning supplies.

Engaging in any action that causes the human to run to/chase after the bunny (exploring an off-limits area/picking an intentional fight with another bunny/attempting to destroy a belonging of the human in question).  

10 points (instant win):

Creating an even greater mess for the human to clean up, such as:

Climbing into the hay bag and scattering its contents across the living room floor.

Jumping into the litter box as the human attempts to place it in the cage, scattering litter everywhere.

Biting a hole into the trash bag used for disposing of funkified litter.

**Note:  Extra points may be awarded for creativity, sheer audacity and/or amount of havoc wreaked upon the human or surrounding area.