Your Dadsona used to be super into Dungeons and Dragons when he was younger and a lot less responsible. And when he moved into the cul-de-sac and met all the dads, he immediately began to imagine the Dads as warriors.
Everyone behold: Dungeons and Daddies:
Robert: He would be a Human or Half-Orc Rogue. He’s sneaky, semi-brutish, likes to drink, and down for adventure. Plus, very good in bed on either side.
Damien: Oh he’s immediately Elvish. Hands down. He would either be a Druid, or a Wizard. More along the lines of Druid though, because he loves animals, nature, and would look good in a suit made of all plants. (Dadsona blushes) Not to mention his vast knowledge of flowers.
Craig: He’s a Half-Elf Ranger, he’s a master of projectiles, very athletic, and also sneaky when he wants to be. Craig is the ultimate bro and rangers are known for their loyalty.
Joseph: For Joseph, he’s a Cleric. Human Cleric. Need I say more?
Mat: He is a Bard, of course, he would be a Gnome Bard, classic, just like his tastes in music and puns, and references. He’s a sweetheart and total cinnamon roll, loves to entertain, but he’s also quick to fight on the sidelines.
Hugo: Now Hugo is one of the differences, he would be a unique warrior. He would be an Elf Orc (Look it up, they exist in the D&D universe) Mystic-Monk. He’s not a Barbarian, because his main fighting style as a warrior is wrestling and a bit of martial arts, and knows a bit of magic. He’s the perfect fusion of brain and brawn!
Brian: Brian would be… Gosh, that is a good questi-Paladin. He would be strong, a dabbles a bit in magic, and is always willing to help. He would either be a dwarf, or just a large human like he is.
i. stars get it wrong, of course–they assume too much phosphorus and not enough fear of death, pulsar instead of pulse. They leave out uncertainty, not knowing what it was above the subatomic level; the softer shades of melancholy and the gentler warmths. But they get the shape right, the brighthot of blood. They get that right too.
ii. all their metaphors are for burning, and they ascribe to soft tongues a taste for sulfur, fingers at the ends of spiral arms. They drink liquid helium from a cracked Dewar flask and wonder aloud if humanity is looking up, looking back.
(how cold they must be, the stars’ carbon cousins–wet and cold, and can humanity do arithmetic in parallax, do you think, counting parsecs between two stars in inexorable collision?
it’s called a kiss, cygnus X-1 says quietly. they call it a kiss.)
iii. they say when you feel your child’s protoplanetary disc first differentiate, you will cry tears of methane.
iv. it’s called the Kindling, when the faint sheen of protostellar mass catches alight, and burns with all the brightness of adulthood. Protostars of thirteen stand around bathroom mirrors, examining their helium layer for bright spots, looking for stray molecular clouds in their nail beds. All of them are in love with the astrophysics teacher, whose stellar wind sends flickers of light across the meteor fields.
late at night (but what is night to a star?) they trace the spiral arms of their evolving galaxies, and dream dry dreams of neutron star collisions hotter than blue hypergiants.
v.we are made of starstuff, says a man, craning his thread-slender neck, looking up into the abyss of wind and fire of the universe.
oh, breathes a star, squinting down at the infinitesimal speck of rock, turning and turning in the vastness of space. oh.
(OTP: snippy genocidal space bitches + death star breakups)
EMPIRE: CREEP REMIX – alpines | PITY – noga erez | BEGGIN FOR THREAD – banks | EYES ON FIRE – blue foundation | FUCKED MY WAY UP TO THE TOP – lana del rey | FEYD RAUTHA DARK HEART – grimes | POWER & CONTROL – marina and the diamonds | SADIST – crystal castles | CHASING YOUR SHADOWS ALL AROUND THE WORLD – zeigeist | PUPPETS – depeche mode | LOADED GUN – lightning dust | DELIRIOUS – susanne sundfør | CRUEL WORLD – phantogram | STRAIGHT FOR THE KNIFE – sia | SOFT POWER – ladytron
I draw my first Star vs. fanart and what do I do? Cross it over with homestuck bc of COURSE I would, DUUUHH
I chose Marco as a Page of Breath (untapped potential who needs more confidence in himself) while Star is a Rogue of Light (robin hood-like thief/rebel who needs to understand the consequences of her everyday choices).
Eventually, they’re driving back to her flat after picking up
If feels like it’s been years since he first picked her up for
this date, only now that it’s nearly ending, Jyn’s suddenly certain it couldn’t
have been more than a few hours at the most. The walk to the car was a decent
one, since there was a reason they drove to the restaurant in the first place,
but neither of them complained. Truth is they probably both just wanted the
The two of them walked with their arms almost impractically
close around each other, Jyn tucked under his shoulder and her gripping his
waist tightly. They were jolted every time they walked even a tiniest bit out
of synch, but neither of them seemed to care all that much. She already misses
his body. She misses being wrapped around him, ankles digging into his back.
She misses being held and kissed within an inch of her life, and the way he
said her name over and over as he came. Hell, she’s not entirely sure she’s
going to ever be able to get that image out of her mind.
Jyn lets her head rest back, watching him drive. It almost feels
like a dream.
“So do you have plans for today?” Cassian asks her.
“I mean, I should probably go to the library …” she warbles.
“We should all probably be at the library, to be fair,” he
“Yeah, but let’s face it,” Jyn shrugs, trying not to yawn
now. “I’ll probably get back home and just end up napping for hours.”
“After being forced to tell Bodhi everything, of course.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Jyn grumbles. “Thanks for being cool
about my weirdo friend, by the way.”
“I like your weirdo friend,” he says, warmly. “and thank you for
not completely rejecting me when I asked you out,” he adds. “I was half
convinced I was coming off as a creepy stalker.”
“Well,” Jyn smirks. “maybe not a creepy one.”
He reaches out a hand to hit her affectionately on the arm. Eyes
on the road, he misses slightly and ends up hitting her chest instead,
something she teases him about for the next several streets. All too soon,
their laughter is dying out as they pull up in front of her building. When the
car comes to a complete stop, Jyn glances up to see Cassian already mirroring
the look on her face. God, she can’t hold it.
“Blimey,” she mutters, glancing away as she nervously runs a hand through her hair.
He laughs a little breathlessly. “Yeah.”
“I had a good time,” she admits. “A seriously good time.”
“So did I,” Cassian says. “I’ll text you?”
“Soon, yes,” she insists.
They don’t need to say more. They both lean in and meet
somewhere in the middle. It’s always awkward kissing in a car like this, bent
over a hand break and never able to get quite close enough, but they do their
best. Their hands grip each other fiercely like they’ll never let go again as
she attempts to kiss the hope back into her. Yes, maybe her ability to
Relationship is in fact terrible. Maybe every relationship she tries does
always end in utter disaster.
But maybe, just maybe… everything will be perfect this
And with that kind of chance, she’s willing to risk it.
It’s hard for her to get out of the car. She doesn’t stay and
watch him drive away (because let’s face it, she has to retain her dignity
somehow), but she walks back inside with her hands clasped next to her chest
and feeling like, despite all the tests and exams coming her way, she could die very
contently right now. It’s roughly half an hour later, just as she’s preparing
herself to face the music with Bodhi, that her phone suddenly buzzes.
I know they say you’re supposed to wait 3 days or something, but
Wanna come over tonight?