by it i mean you HOLLA

ap lit exam recap
• *misspells literature on a literature exam*
• white male classmate dared other white male classmate to list his race as african-american
• other white male classmate actually did it
• proctor: “remember not to share test content with anyone or college board will snipe you :-)”
whole class: *muffled giggling*
• aforementioned white male classmates made a $25 bet that the essay prompts will be shakespeare
• “i’m sure your brains will all be fried after this-” “what’s a brain? i’ve never had one”
• all men are trash: ap lit edition
• no seriously who hurt college board
• when u uncle babamukuru com home and make hte education
• julia just cut your fucking hair damn lucretia doesnt get paid enough to put up with this
• there was a giant fuck-off raven outside during the break. i felt the spirit of edgar allen poe upon me
• ya_like_jazz.png
• marriage prompt people: haha wow that exam was so easy :-)
• jazz prompt people: college board killed my family
• we had to write an essay on the complex interplay of the emotions & social behaviors of a man named perry pickle. i shit you not
• “how does the character’s origin affect the meaning of the novel” *whole class breaks into tears of joy and relief as we realize we can write about frankenstein*

Damian: So, I hear Jason likes Dick

Batman: I always suspected

Damian: Really? Jason and Dick?

Batman: …though that is a crass way to put it

Damian: What?

Batman: Just tell me he’s gay, I can take it

Damian: No. I mean. Yes. But I’m trying to tell you that Jason likes Dick

Batman: Fine. He’s bisexual. I don’t need to hear any more about his intimate–

Damian: –Red Hood and Nightwing are sleeping together

Batman: *spits drink*

The Girl

He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw her. It was her, it was really and truly her. Almost a decade had gone by since he last laid eyes on her and she looked as beautiful as ever.

  She was Y/N. His Y/N.

  He swallowed hard. She was definitely going to see him, she was the only waitress on the clock by the looks of things. She would have to come over and take their order. What was he going to say to her after almost ten years of being gone? Would she understand that he left to protect her? Would she still hate him as much as he hated himself for leaving her behind? She was the best part of him. She made him happy. 

  “Welcome to Julia’s, what can I get for you- wait, Dean?” her voice cracked. He could hear her breathing hitch the second she laid eyes on him. He smiled softly. Her eyes were as bright as he remember. 

  “Hey, sweetheart,” he breathed out. “’s been awhile.”

  “Yeah,” she whispered. “awhile indeed. What can I get for you and your friend?”

  “Coffee, and a bacon cheese burger for me and for my brother, Sam,” he paused.

  “I’ll take a coffee and your garden salad,” Sam stated, smiling awkwardly.  Dean knew he was wondering what was going on. 

  “Y/N, will you sit with us?” Dean asked kindly. 

  “I’ve gotta work, Dean.”

  “Take a break, join us.”

  “Okay, but only because it will wipe that goofy looking grin off your face, Winchester,” she giggled. “You look good, Dean.”

  “Not as good as you look, sweetheart.”

  “Yes, but not all of us age like fine wine,” she laughed.

  “Alright, that is my cue to get out of here. You two clearly have history and need some time to catch up so I will be back at the motel,” Sam stood up, shaking his head with the widest smile on his face. 

  “So Y/N, what time do you get off?” he asked nervously. 

  “I get off whenever you-”

  “Whoa, okay,” he laughed. “I mean work. I guess I’ve got a lot of explaining to do before I get you off.”

  “You haven’t changed a bit, Dean Winchester,” she smile genuinely. “I can meet you out back in fifteen.”

  “I’ll pull the impala around,” he stated.

  “Oh and Dean!” she called out. “I missed you!”

Keep reading

Oh my god. Leave women alone. Leave lesbians alone. I really just had to be like “ayo, chill” to a dude really tryna holla at a woman who was with her girlfriend/wife and who said REPEATEDLY that she wasn’t interested because she was WITH THE OTHER WOMAN and DIDNT LIKE MEN.

NO MEANS NO YOU MR. POTATOHEAD LOOKIN BUTTMUNCH.

Ziam’s declarations of love

(Mostly transcribed from this audio post)

Liam: I met Zayn at McDonald’s…

Zayn: We had a nice little chat there…

Liam: Y’know Zayn-Zayn’s actually a very thoughtful person, you guys don’t really know the true Zayn, you guys have got a lot to learn about Zayn…

Zayn: I was saving you!

Zayn: Get off of ‘is ‘ead ‘es upset about it! 
Liam: Ow, he’s hurting me!
Zayn: Get off ‘im ‘arreh!

Zayn: I’ll stay with you Leeyum just coz I’m your friend…

Liam: It wasn’t very nice being on stage-
Zayn: Aww Leeyum!
Liam: Gonna cry man!

Liam: When he was on stage with us, I was smiling for no reason…

Liam: Oh and more thing with Zayn is when he says he’s um-
Harry: There’s only one Liam?

Zayn: I tweeted “the awkward moment when someone’s staring at your girlfriend’s boobs…. I was talking about Liam’s boobs!”

Liam: … to sing Zayn’s parts obviously but we all know Zayn’s got a brilliant voice…
Zayn: Aww stop it Leeyum!

Zayn: Bit of a bromance between me and Liam so he was texting me saying he was missin’ me and stuff…

Liam: I like doing Zayn!

Liam: You’re actually really loud…

Liam: I… admire… Zayn’s… big huge quiff!

Zayn: I admire Liam’s amazing six pack!

Zayn: His chiseled physique!

Liam: I’d eat Zayn, I don’t know why but I would…

Liam: Aw Zayn you’ve licked my arm its all wet!

Liam: He’s very quiet and stuff but when you get to know him, he’s mental…

Zayn: I don’t have any clue how to swim so I didn’t jump in the water…
Liam: I wanna teach ya… can we go to a pool and I’ll teach ya?
Zayn: Okay

Liam; Zayn… I think he’s kind of overtaken me now, he’s been teaching me some new moves…

Zayn: I’d take Liam…

Liam: I think I’d take Zayn…

Zayn: I don’t like Liam’s nose either… I’m joking….

Liam: Ziam’s turtle… our turtle… me and Zayn’s turtle…

Liam: Holla at me Zayn
Zayn: Holla

Zayn: Aw killing me… I thought it was me and you!

Zayn: I’d be Rachel!
Liam: … as you all know so I’m going to go with Ross!

Liam: My name is Zayn… I’m insane in the brain I’ve been rapped all over by Mr. Liam Payne!

Zayn: What do you mean by that question…
Liam: Who would be “you”? Who would be the “you” that you would point at and sing that song to? Tell us now!
Zayn: Um that would be you Leeyum… it’s gotta be Leeyum…

Liam: Can we give it up for Mr. Zayn Malik!?

Zayn: I love you so much Liam…
Liam: Thank you…

Liam: If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Where would you live, Zayn?
Zayn: Um… right next to you Leeyum…

Liam: I’d marry Zayn Malik

Liam: Bye Zayn! I love you!
Zayn: Bye Liam I love you too!
Liam: Itunes!
Zayn: I love you forever!

2

Okay let me tell you bitches something because I really need to get it off my chest. So if you guys have watched The New Edition series on BET or whatever than you would recognize this man. And let me tell you, I been feenin for this nigga for a whole ass week and I don’t know how to stop. This nigga is too damn fine and I just don’t get why is he so fucking fine? like w h y me why does this always have to happen to me? why couldn’t I have grown up in a strict christian home? I wouldn’t have to deal with this shit all the time, but I’m not mad because at the end of the day I will always have the energy to put this pussy on him any day, any time, anywhere you fucking name it. I dont care. I would let this man spit in my mouth. I would let him slap me in the face and call me a bitch. I would let him choke me. I would let him slap his dick in my face. I would let him eat my ass like it was his last meal. And I know he got a big dick he maybe 5'6 but that dick prolly like 6'5 and this throat is 12'47 so holla @ me. Every time I see his face I am weak. I mean, I am WEAK. I am SWV-Weak. I am 6 WEAKS pregnant. I am 3 WEAKS late of paying my bills. Fuck you. I don’t care.

YO...

All I got to say is if 3x19 really is about a world without Iris, the episode better be filled with bitter ass, man pained Barry who can’t function without Iris West! I mean when they see him coming I need Cisco to holla at Wally and Joe like “Y'all betta get ya asses to the cortex, cause that motherf@#$@ is on the prowl”! I want him to be walkin around like the damn grinch who stole Christmas x 10. He betta be kickin the sh@$ outta puppies and slappin the hell outta babies cause I won’t accept anything less! DO YOU HEAR ME WRITERS!!!

One Hell of a Lady

Request: Can I please ask for a fanfic for colossus from xmen with a curvy female  reader? And please, please!! Can the reader not have insecurities?

The house was usually a bit more crowded on weekends. The kids liked to host game, or movie nights, but it seems like everyone went out with Ororo when she proposed a little field trip. You didn’t go, you had kind of hoped that everyone else would take up her offer so that you could have some quiet time. It’s not that you didn’t love the kids, because you did, and it meant so much to you that these kids were able to be around people that could understand them, and treated them like equal members of society, but after dealing with a major break up between two students you were a little tired. The girl spent the last two weeks in your room wholeheartedly sobbing. You were glad she went out for some fresh air. As you walked around the empty halls you could hear movement in the kitchen. It seemed you weren’t entirely alone. You ghosted through the halls to the kitchen, and stood in the doorway. It was Piotr, better known as Colossus. You cleared your throat trying to give indication of your presence. Part of your mutation was soundless movement, and while it seemed inconsequential on the surface, you almost constantly startled everyone if you forgot to announce your presence before they turned around. He looked over his shoulder curiously.

“Oh! Y/N, I thought you would have gone on the trip with the others,” he said, but he seemed pleased to see you all the same.

“They didn’t need anymore chaperones. Ororo convinced Logan to go,” you shrugged, coming to sit at the breakfast bar. You watched him as he moved about the kitchen, sometimes knocking into things, all in all he was very loud. You laughed a little at that, the two of you very different in many ways. The first being grace, or lack-thereof on his part.

“What are you trying to make, ya big lug,” you snickered as you slid off your stool to join him at the counter, “Go, sit down,” you continued laughing as you saw he was struggling with wrapping a burrito, “Jeez, you’re worse than Wade,” you sighed.

“Wade was here?” he asked, you could already hear the slight annoyance in his voice.

“Yeah, he stayed long enough to get a burrito, and tell me my ass was thicker than a snicker,” you smiled a little at the memory. Sure, Wade was not very morally upstanding, but you’ll be damned if he wasn’t charming in his own way.

“I am sorry about him. He is… a work in progress. He should not speak to a lady like that,” he rebuked.

You only shrugged, grabbing a pan off the rack and putting it on the stove, “He’s right though. It’s soft too be he’ll never know that,” you winked at Piotr, and continued your task. You heard him move about and you looked over to see what he was doing. He was not currently metallic,  he rarely was when at home, but he was still physically imposing. You knew you had absolutely nothing to fear, even as he came to stand behind you.

“What? Why are you giving me that look?” you demanded as you looked up at him. He was looking at you as if there was something sad going on.

“You are beautiful, you know-”

“Uh, yeah… yeah I know. Wade was right, I’m thick as hell, and it adds to how cute I am. There are no self esteem issues over here hon, I mean have you seen me in those X Men suits?” you laughed a little, “But thanks for the compliment, cutie,” You lifted your chin and leaned back a bit so he could bend down and kiss you.

“If you ever need a refresher for how soft and beautiful my whole body is, holla at me,” you smiled grabbing the burrito and putting it in the pan. You sealed the tortilla by toasting it the put it on a plate for Piotr.

“Thank you, my lovely.”

“No problem. If you see Wade again, tell him I know he’s the one who keeps sending me stupid text messages.”

“He is a special nuisance to me,” Piotr sighed. You knew that Wade’s constant flirting annoyed Piotr so you made sure to stay transparent about it so he knew where you stood when it came to Wade.

“Well, if you get him to be in the X Men he’ll be even more of a nuisance,” you pointed out.

“Oooh, my ears are all hot, are you two talking about little ole me?” Wade’s voice called as he walked into the kitchen. You rolled your eyes, but only Piotr could see,“There is my favorite X Lady, don’t you think it’s kind of sexist that it’s just the X Men, a fine woman like yourself deserves full inclusion,” he rambled. You turned around to see him leaning against the doorframe. He winked and finger gunned at you.

“What do you want Wade?”

“Just came to check out the finest ass in all the land.”

“Wade,” Piotr’s voice was a warning, you shook your head.

“I wasn’t talking about her, but now I see where your affections lie. And honestly good on you. She is thique and that is with a Q-U-E, real fancy just for you mama,” he gestured to you, “But, I was talking about you. I need your rippling muscle for like…two hours max… ooo is that a burrito?”

“Well it’s been nice you two, but I am going to go enjoy my off time.” you left the kitchen, adding an extra bit of sway to your hips.

“That is one hell of a lady you got there… poor thing how does she survive sex?”

“What do you need Wade?”

You laughed to yourself as you continued back upstairs.

~Mod Lillian

anonymous asked:

do you have any good sub fic recs??? 👀👀👀👀

HELLO YES I DO (kind of) assuming you mean where the idol is a sub (bc that is what i offer you under the cut.

reader insert

self recs
- wonho | please
- minhyuk | spanks
- wonho | neglect 

le ghei (holla @urmomstax for being such a hoe and sending me these)


i’ve probably missed a lot, so this will updated when i scour some more, but i wanted to put some up, but also send me recs!

thepurefelicity  asked:

When I was in Germany, I learned about a phrase that basically translates to "Holla, the forest fairy!" and you say it around pretty girls. Can you tell me what the German phrase is?

It’s “Holla, die Waldfee”, the meaning varies, but what you mentioned is one of them - an expression of surprise, admiration or astonishment. Read more about it here (auf Deutsch):

https://groups.google.com/forum/m/#!topic/de.etc.sprache.deutsch/XIuPQiE-WO8

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080415125213AAc6jU6
Sex, Lies, Videotape (The Intro)

Hey Derhsa Fam!!!!! I’m back with another fanfic series after “The Romans”. I never thought I’d decide to do another series but when I got these ideas in my head I just had to. This is Sex, Lies, Videotape and I hope you guys enjoy this one as well. P.S. the drama builds up fast and everything described in the footage will be a actual scene at some point in the series. Please don’t forget to give me your thoughts, comment, like and reblog. May we all continue strong in our hiatus. ENJOY!

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters as they belong to James LaRosa 

A year and a half ago Mr. and Mrs. Roman made one of the biggest decisions they could make to have a fresh start in their marriage. Ahsha and Derek decided to bet it all and move to a new city; Miami Florida. With all the drama going on in L.A they didn’t see much good happening there. Even though they were having much success in their careers they both knew that Devil’s arena was no place for anyone’s marriage. There was no mistaking that L.A. and the Devils would always be apart of who they were but it was just time to go. They both understood that the Devil’s ultimately brought them together but sometimes, that world had a very destructive affect on their relationship and they didn’t want that for their marriage. Soon after the wedding Ahsha and Derek packed all of their things and board a private flight to their new city hand and hand. Derek never sold their home in L.A. knowing that from time to time they would go back to visit family. But from that moment on they would take Miami by storm. Derek and Ahsha had to move quick because the new season was soon approaching and they both had a lot to do to jump into a new world. When they arrived in Miami, Derek’s agent had already found them the perfect place to live and they immediately bought a 2000 spare feet two story luxury penthouse condo right in the heart of the city. The residence was called “The Kingdom”. It was a six story building with only three tenants each home having two floors with a four car garages for each tenant.The Kingdom was known for being highly expensive because of its great view over the entire city of Miami, and its high security. It was definitely a place were the wealthy lived if they wanted to enjoy the city and being that they were just married the couple wanted to start embarking on a journey together that would create new memories. When the Romans arrived it was just perfect. It had all the bells and whistles. Still big enough like living in a house but not all of the extra upkeep like living in one. Ahsha and Derek was loving the city life but once they lived it for a while they both missed living in a home away from all the busy distraction so they figured when the season was over they would go house shopping this summer. Once Derek and Ahsha arrived the entire city gave them a warm welcome. They got a tour of the arena and was personally introduced to the owners of the team and their teammates. Thing moved fast and both Derek and Ahsha jumped in head first. Now a year down the line they were both in their married routine of life…………………………………..

The basketball team started practice early so Derek headed off to the arena first. Their practice usually ended the same time the dancers did so Ahsha
and Derek usually went home together. But today would be different. Ahsha got dressed for practice and headed to the arena as she was ready to see how the girls had improved on the new choreography. She placed her member’s key badge on the key pad and entered into the arena ready for another exciting week of practice with her new family; the Miami Blaze girls.
Ahsha and the girls were in the studio practicing for the game on Thursday night and they were killing the choreography. Of course when Ahsha first arrived in Miami a lot of the girls had their reservations about her coming right in and taking over. Especially for the ones who thought they would have first grabs at being the new caption and director when they found out the old one was leaving, but once they got to know Ahsha they couldn’t help but love her immediately. Ahsha was super talented, great with fresh choreography and
also a team player. The girls liked that she was such a energetic spirit with a little sass. What the girls didn’t know is that being a Devil girl helped groom her for anything. She was still Carebear at heart but she could also be very stern when then girls weren’t performing at her standard thanks to Jelena but she was also really open with adding some sexy elements to the dance and making the girls feel comfortable which she took from Kyle. Ahsha was in a new city but L.A. was defiantly the starting grounds for her. Once the Blaze dancers saw the type of responses they were getting from the fans they knew that Ahsha Roman was a great fit. This team was on a new high and they were running with it. Along with the basketball team having much success for the season the dancers always danced like they knew they were taking home the win.
Derek had just finished his shower and got dress after a hyped practice. He was heading out to leave the locker room when his team mate Drew caught up with him. Derek and Drew were old friends in the league before he played for Miami. Drew was a well rounded guy. He was married for four years and had a two year old daughter. He had played with the team in Miami for five years.
“Yo whatup D you heading out?” Drew dapped Derek up
“Yea man I’m about to head out. Today was crazy”. Derek exhaled deeply.
“Yea you know we’re about to get in they asses come Thursday night”
“Oh most definitely!“Derek and Drew bantered.
“Aye man since you heading out lets go play some pool or something before you head in”. Drew suggested.
“Nah man Ima have to catch you later on that I’m headed home. Ahsha has already been on me about us both being too busy to spend time together. I gotta go do the husband thing”. Derek said.
“Damn and here I am tryna get away from my wife” Drew joked. Derek chuckled.
“Alright man I’ll catch you later Ima go holla at Ahs real quick before I head out.” Derek stated
“Nah man Ima go with you to make sure you don’t distract these dancers for too long. I mean they’re use to us but you’re still seen as fresh meat.” Drew added lying about his reasoning for going and Derek saw right through it.
“Man if you don’t stop tryna come look at these women practice. Bye "married man”, Ima call your wife”. Derek playfully bowed Drew in the chest
“What D they might get stuck in a split or something and may need me to help them up. Plus I’m married not blind”. Drew joked.
The two men approached the dance studio and Ahsha was standing in front of all the girls as she watched them and made notes in her head. Derek and Drew waited until the number was over before interrupting. As the dancers hit their last mark Derek made his presence aware.
“Well hello ladies.” Derek walked into the room with his tall sexy stature. Ahsha looked at him and playfully rolled her eyes as she thought about her young days as a Devil girl when Derek would walk into the studio with Terrence to come and hit on her. At the sound of Derek’s voice all the women in the room stopped, but it didn’t bother Ahsha one bit. She knew how women fawned over her man. Drew waved to Ahsha and walked further into the studio to harass the dancers.
“Okay ladies take a quick five” Ahsha announced as she walked towards Derek with her hands on her hips. “I see you’re still interrupting my practices after all this time.” Ahsha said folding her arms with a slight smile on her face. “You are never were you’re supposed to be”.
“Well Mrs. Roman not much has changed. Wherever you are that’s were I wanna be” Derek smirked.
“Here I am” Ahsha retorted as she wrapped her arms around Derek’s neck standing on her toes to give him a kiss. Derek placed his strong hands around her waist and their lips met in a soft sweet peck that was too quick in each of their books but they would just have to wait until they got home for any extra love.
“Is practice over for you guys?” Ahsha asked parting from her husband.
Yea that’s why I was stopping by to tell you that I’m headed home.”
“Without me? How are you leaving your wife?” Ahsha playfully scoffed pleading with her doe eyes.
“Yes without you! I would be leaving with my wife if she wasn’t such a perfectionist. Derek raised his brow."How long are you staying?” He asked in all seriousness knowing Ahsha could practice forever.
“We’re gonna go one more hour so not long. Babe I promise I’ll be home no later then six” Ahsha pleaded. Derek pulled Ahsha into his arms for a hug goodbye.
“Alright Mrs. Roman, I’ll see you when you get home.” Ahsha tilted her head back slightly to steal another kiss from her man before they parted.
“Okay! And I’ll stop and get that Mediterranean food you like on the way home. Deal?" Ahsha added
"Alright I love you. Practice hard”. Derek smiles and lightly smacked her on the butt.
“I love you too” Ahsha said before she went back into the studio. Derek and Drew then left and practice with the girls continued.
………………..

After an hour more of a great practice Ahsha took a shower in the locker room. She washed practice off of her body and couldn’t wait to get home to her loving husband. Even though she and Derek had a few recent marriage spats over them making sure quality time in their relationship was high priority, she could tell Derek was listening to her and he was making all the extra efforts to make his wife feel special. Ahsha understood that their relationship before marriage was sometimes tough so she knew that they would have to put just as much work into their marriage as well. Ahsha got dressed and grabbed all of her bags to head home. Before reaching home, Ahsha made sure to stop by an Mediterainan grill returant that she and Derek frequent to pick up dinner. The time was now five thirty and Ahsha was staying true to her word that
she would be home by six. Ahsha finally made it home and she was ready for a relaxing continuation of her day. She unlocked the door to her home and as she walked in she was surprised at the many house guest greeting her. The first thing she saw was Derek sitting on the couch across from both of his and her lawyers and their agents standing behind the couches with unpleasant looks on their faces. Derek heard the front door open and he immediately rose to his feet and walked towards his wife.
“Ahsha…baby I’ve been trying to call you. I promise everything will be fine. I’m gonna fix everything”. Derek said rushing out in a strange tone and his eyes etched with worry. Ahsha’s brow furrowed.
“Yea sorry my phone must be in my bag on silent from practice? Fix what? What’s going on? And why is everyone here Derek?” Ahsha asked confused Derek immediately stopped. Now he had realized that Ahsha didn’t know what was happening. Not only was she about to be blindsided but he was going to be the one that had to tell her. Ahsha looked around the room and she saw that everyone knew something terrible she didn’t know.
“Ahsha Im sorry I”…. Derek held out his hands walking towards her
“Derek?” Ahsha said stepping back in confusion as her heart began to beat out of her chest. Derek was apologizing but she knew well enough not to accuse him of anything because she trusted her husband so it couldn’t be the obvious.“Derek, you’re scaring me…….. What happened?” Ahsha looked into his eyes. Derek was always so calm and always kept his composure so the fact that he looked worried about something terrified Ahsha of this unknown.
“Ahsha someone broke into our home.” Derek said giving Ahsha information little by little. Ahsha eyes widened and she clasped her mouth.
“Oh my gosh! Today? When you came home? Are you okay?” She rushed to him then looked around for any damage.
“Ahsha I’m fine and no it wasn’t today”. Derek continued. “Babe someone broke into our home while we weren’t here.”
“Derek as long as we’re fine material things can be replaced”. Ahsha looked at her husband.
“That’s the thing Ahs they didn’t take anything, but….”.
“But what?” Ahsha interrupted.
Ahsha they left something behind. That something being multiple hidden cameras. Whoever broke into our home has been watching us. Our every move and recording us”. Ahsha looked towards the living and saw what looked to be about five cameras scattered on the table the with ripped cords
“WHAT?! Ahsha said as she was trying to process what Derek just said. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN RECORDING US?” Ahsha said in a frantic voice now catching up to everyone’s urgency.
“Babe listen, whoever this is that broke into our home has leaked footage of us on the internet”. Ahsha’s heart now began to beat faster and she couldn’t control her tone.
“FOOTAGE OF WHAT DEREK?” She said hysterical.
“Ahsha calm down” Derek tried to touch her reasoning with her. Ahsha swiped his hand away.
“DEREK! What footage do they have?” Ahsha said her mood being taken over by many emotions. Derek hesitated then he finally realized that she needed the full truth.
“Baby they have footage of……. Everything”. When those words left Derek’s mouth Ahsha immediately felt sick.
“Everything?” Ahsha’s voice cracked looking into Derek’s eyes for confirmation.
“Yes” Derek said in a defeated tone.
“Oh my god” She said placing her hand over her chest. Ahsha walked over to the bar stool that sat infront of the island over their kitchen. The rooms was very still. Ahsha ran her hands throuh her hair to process her thoughts. Inside she wanted to hold on to the little ounce of hope that the situation wasnt that bad. She wanted to believe that they left their hardships in LA but her
gut was telling her that her lawyer wouldn’t be present right now if this wasn’t the worst case scenario. She sprang from the chair as she needed to see the footage with her own eyes. She rushed to go get her purse and Derek grabbed it before she could.
“Ahsha wait” Derek protested
“Derek show me the video” Ahsha said frustrated.
“Ahsha I don’t think you should see this right now” Derek barked trying to protect her.
“NO DEREK I WANNA SEE IT!!!!” Ahsha screamed as her voice cracked revealing the pain she felt inside. Derek was always very honest with her so the fact that he was trying to prevent her from seeing told her how bad it was. "SHOW ME RIGHT NOW”. She said desperately as a single tear fell from her eyes. In this moment Derek realized he could no longer protect her from the situation she was about to face and that hurt him more then anything. Even though they were going through this situation together he knew it would affect Ahsha in the worst way but she needed to know. Derek grabbed his iPad to reveal the truth to Ahsha. As she looked down onto the iPad Derek searched a popular social media profile called PalmTreeSHADE where it always uploaded all the latest gossip about celebrities. The first thing Ahsha saw was a headline that read “Racy Leaked Footage of Derek and Ahsha Roman has broken the internet. Is There A Sex Tape Press Play for Preview”. Derek opened the
video and what Ahsha saw next took her breath away. The first scene to pop up was of Ahsha sitting on the couch with her laptop answering emails wearing her grey and neon green legging with her matching spots bra. She had on her matching jacket and left it unzipped. Ahsha could tell that this was from mouths ago when she and Derek were still settling into their lives in Miami. Derek placed his key on the kitchen counter as he entered the couples home.
“Ahsha!” Derek yelled letting her know he was home. Derek appears in the frame with his athletic wear on as he just came back in from his afternoon jog.
“There’s my fine ass wife.” Derek cooed.
“Hey babe you just get back from your jog?” Derek picks her up from the couch and she wraps her legs around his waist and he place his hand comfortably under her butt.
“Yea the weather feels good out there”. Ahsha place a kiss on his lips.
“Eww babe I love you but you stink” Ahsha said feeling his skin still sticky from sweat. Derek through Ahsha over his shoulder cave man style.
“Well come on Mrs. Roman lets go get me cleaned up” Ahsha slapped her ass “And while you clean me up you can do that little thing I like”. Ahsha let out her raspy laugh and they are seen going upstairs. The footage fades into the next scene were Ahsha was in the kitchen making a meal before Derek arrives home from an away game. She was cooking her steamed zucchini on the stove and she had just finish sauteing her steak as she placed her phone on speaker to speak to her best friend Kyle who she missed terribly. They were doing some well needed catching up so
they had beem talking for hours,but the footage diplayed a very interesting part of their conversation.
“Kyle, Derek and I had our first taste of harmless trouble this weekend” Ahsha said giggled.
“Look at my Carebear taking Miami like a pro, Spill it. And you know I want all the details so don’t cheat me.”
“Well you know how it is when you’re still in the honeymoon phase. Derek and I were off for the weekend and we decided to go out for dinner. In which we got a little drunk and….
“AND!!! Kyles said excited.
"After dinner the night definatly got wild. When we got home we both were feeling our drinks and lets just say we used our entire house to release some drunk passion. But get this, you know we only have two other residence to live in the building. Two Italian brothers live on the first floor, an wealthy elderly lady on the second floor and we live in the penthouse. Each condo has two stories. Kyle we actually got a knock on the door from the police”.
"WHAT?! The police? For what?” Kyle asked shocked.
“The officer said he got a disturbing call from a tenant that was afraid because they thought someone was being abused in a fight upstairs.”
Kyle burst into loud laughter on the phone. “Oh My Gosh, Ahsha I am dying. How the hell did the old bag hear the two of you? Kyle was all over the place. “That a girl. You better be giving it to D-Ro” both of the women fell out in laughter.
“Kyle you should have seen the look on the mans face when he realized what was really happening. Then he had the nerve to say "Alright you two enjoy your evening”.
“Well did you?” Kyle questioned already knowing the answer
“Hell yes!! I can barley wear shorts to practice. I’ve been putting makeup over Derek’s love bites all week and I’ll be the first to say that their in some really provocative places.” Ahsha admitted. She heard the front door opening and she told Kyle she would call her back and the scene jumped into the next scene. Derek walked into in the couples bedroom from the bathroom with his towel around his waist as he sat on the bed to briefly speak with his agent on speaker.
Hey Derek great news, you are now the face of Men’s Sportwear Illustrated. They just teamed up with Nike and they want you D”
Damn man are you kidding me. I thought they were trying to go with Deon Lee for the next two years”.
Oh they were but they dropped that son of a bitch when they heard you were interested.They’re not gonna drop the news until early summer so we have to keep it tight but we’ve already closed the deal so its official. They’re even thinking about adding a sexy little workout shoot with you and Ahsha in the article”. Derek finishes
his conversation.The screen faded into the next scene and the footage went on. Ahsha had just come home from shopping on her off day to fine her husband but to her surprise Derek isn’t home. At first Ahsha doesn’t make a big deal about it and she took her bags into the bedroom. She is seen leaving the cameras eye view to go take a shower. She returns and she is seen in her new lingerie that she bought earlier. She would wear it under her dress tonight in hopes of she and Derek having a wonderful night that would end
explosive. She began to get ready for a night out. As she sits in front of her vanity to do her makeup she placed her phone on the counter putting it on speaker to calls Derek to see if he’s close.
“Hey Derek, where are you?”. Ahsha asked looking at her clock.
“Hey Ahs I went to meet with my agent to finalize a couple of deals then I met Shamar and Keith at the bar. We’re just having a couple of beers so I shouldn't be late coming in”.
“At the bar? Really? Are you joking right now?” Ahsha said pissed and Derek definitely didn’t miss it.
“No I’m not joking”. Derek said in a nonchalant tone. Did I miss something?”
“Derek tonight we were suppose to go to dinner and Angela invited us over afterwards”. Angela was one of the Blaze girls who was married. Derek had totally let dinner slip his mind.
"Ohh shit that was tonight? Damn it slipped my mind Ahs. I’m so sorry, let me make it up to you” Derek immediately stood up getting his wallet ready to leave.
“No no its fine I’ll just tell Angela something came up. We can do something another time.”. Ahsha said as she put her makeup brush down. She couldn’t believe Derek forgot. He was usually really good with these things and Ahsha wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but lately Ahsha felt like he was being careless.
“Are you sure I can still make it home Ahsha.” Derek asked.
“Yea I’m sure” Ahsha said in a breathy voice clearly hurt.The screen now showed a very heated argument between Derek and Ahsha. The two are now standing in front of each other in their bedroom pissed off and hurt by each others words.
“Derek its not about this "one time”. You’re never home! All you do is practice, work out, have the guys over, attend meetings, go out with your teammates. I dont care that you’re out having a good time with them, I want that for you. But EVERY OTHER WEEKEND. What the hell? You act like you dont even have time for me. You spend more
time giving your focus to other things and you leave just a little for me. IM YOUR WIFE!!! Ive never been the women to run you down and blow you up but if you tell me you’re going to be home at a certain time then you need to be here or if something changes you need to tell me”
Ahsha yelled.
“Ahsha all I wanted to do is have some beers with the guys and I called you and told you I was on my way home. Just because I’m a little late now I gotta check in with you. Fuck That!” Ahsha pushed passed Derek.
“I never said you have to check in with me all I asked was that you let me know things if they change. Is that to much to ask for. Derek that’s what husbands do.”
“Oh so since I didn’t call you I’m not a good husband now?I told you! I was on my way home. I got here a hour later I already told you why I was late. What do you want me to do?” Derek said in a condescending tone. “You know what I’m going to bed I’m not arguing about this shit with you”!
“Derek lower your voice and you have one more time to curse at me before this turns all the way left.” Who the hell do I look like. I’m not your damn airhead basketball wife and you know that!“ Ahsha said now getting really heated.
“And I cant be told what to fucking do. You know that” Derek spat back. As he sat on the side of the bed taking his shoes off. At this point Ahsha had enough. She didn’t know what had gotten into her husband but she wasn’t having it. They never argued like this but when they did it was the worst because both of them could be a little headstrong. They were both strong individuals and it was hard when they both were at odds. Ahsha pointed to the door.
“YOU KNOW WHAT, GET THE HELL OUT!! I’m tired of hearing your rude ass mouth. Goodbye!” Derek needed to get away from this argument and quick because he knew both he and Ahsha had said things to both piss each other off. Right now it was not getting through to either of them. She felt her way he felt his. Derek got up from the bed and walked towards the door to leave.
“FINE! I HOPE IT FEELS GOOD SLEEPING IN THAT BED ALONE TONIGHT. YOU ASKED FOR THIS SHIT! Derek slams the door hard enough to break it but it doesn’t. Ahsha flinches at the niose and is obviously hurt.
All of a sudden the arguing stopped on the video and Ahsha heart was beating fast. She was on the verge of tears knowing that the world was seeing a very intimate moment between her and Derek that didn’t show them in the best light. She wanted to look away so badly but she couldn’t, she was stuck. The screen went black and all of a sudden Ahsha’s nightmare only got worst. No more footage came in but you could here her and Derek still talking. This time in a more calm manner. Now they both were
apologizing in a desperate way. Ahsha notice that this exchange was only two old and a recent one.
"Derek all I want is you. Nothing else. I married you, not this! None of this matters without you Im sorry”. Ahsha said breathing hard in tears.
"No….. Im sorry Ahsha. I should have came to you in a better way. You are the most important thing in my life, and I never want you to feel neglected.” Derek said in between pleading and kissing Ahsha’s lips.
“I know Derek and I sorry if you thought I was trying to tell you what to do” Ahsha said kissing him back desperately. Their breathing getting heavier.
“Ummm tell me what to do right now” Derek said in a tone laced with sex and desire.
“Never leave me in our bed alone. I didn’t mean to push you away” Ahsha pleaded.
You can never push me away, I’m not going anywhere. Remember For better or worst Mrs. Roman I’m sorry I love you” The sound of a rip was loud and clear and Ahsha didn’t need to see what was happening to realize that it was her panties
“UGHHAAA I love you toooo” Ahsha said letting out a moan. Now finally the audio was playing different scenes and sounds as if the footage was skipping around to different parts.
Sounds of kissing echoed in the couples home and the sounds of bodies crashing against the bed were heard.
“Ughhhh baby I love it when you use your tongue. YESSSS THAT FEELS SO GOOD!!! came Ahsha’s erotic moan
"Tell me where you want it” Derek’s voice sounded.
“Ummmmm Everywhere Daddy” Ahsha purred.“ARGGGHHHH Derek!!!!!
Come Here Women” Derek demanded suductivley. Don’t run now!
“DEREK YOU’RE DICK IS SO DEEP BAYYBEEE” Ahsha pleaded moaning.
“You fuckin like it” Derek cooed
“YESSSS!!! Daddy I dooooo. I love it” Ahsha said as if she was out of breath. Scenes changed and the head bored was heard banging against the wall.
“Ugh Ugh Ugh” sounds of Ahsha’s moans fade in again. Then a sound of a loud slap against flesh was heard.
“Fuck Ahsha” Derek coxed in a deep voice that rumbled in his chest from pleasure.
“Derek you’re gonna make me cum”! Ahsha moaned in a desperate tone as the bed began to knock against the wall harder and faster. “Alright you two enjoy your evening” said the police officer. The last thing hear is Ahsha cry out in ecstasy and blood red words flashes before her eyes. “LOVE,….PASSION,….WAR. Sex in “The Kingdom” Featuring the Royal Couple. Coming Soon”.
Ahsha mood was shattered and she was shaking. She could here her heart beating in her ears. She looked around the room and everyone was carefully awaiting her reaction. Tears started to well in the corner of her eyes. Her breath hitched as her eyes finally made it back to Derek.
“Ahsha talk to me” Derek moved in closer to her.
“Um Excuse me everyone”! Ahsha said quickly as her voice cracked. Before she could catch it she let out a loud cry full of agony and she ran off upstairs towards their master bedroom. Derek’s whole world crumbled around the sounds of his wife’s hurting response. Inside he was furious at the thought that someone would violate their security. If its one thing he vowed his self on was protecting his wife and someone was trying to get in his way. Right now he and Ahsha needed a private moment as they had shared enough with the class. Derek was pissed.
“Alright Everybody leave!” Derek spoke in a harsh tone.
“But Derek we need to discuss this as a team”. We need to find this person”. Derek’s attorney said nervously.
“NOW”! Derek barked not paying attention to anything they were saying right now he needed to go pick up the peaces with the women he would die for. They needed to be alone right now as their privacy was already invaded enough. Everyone scattered getting there things as they saw the look on Derek’s face and he wouldn’t tell them again. Right before their lawyer got to the door Derek grabbed his arm.
"Give me and hour and I’ll see what I can do but if I don’t call you I don’t want any fucking body knocking on my door” Derek stated clearly before he let Jeff's arm go.
“Yes Derek I understand”. After everyone exit Derek hurried upstair to find the women that controled his heartbeat. As he got closer to the bedroom he could here Ahsha heaving in their bathroom. She was frantic and couldnt control herself. As Derek waled into their master bathroom Ahsha had her hands placed on the counter with her head down crying. She couldnt bring herself to look into the mirror. Derek walked up behind her a strongly wrapped his arms around her waist. Her body tensed at his touch but she allowed her husband to embrace her. His grip was so strong. Ahsha turns around and wrapped her arms around his neck for dear life and cries into
his chest wetting his shirt. He holds her and right now this is the only place she feels safe but she is still devastated. She finally collapse into his arms and Derek brings them to the floor. Ahsha laid in his lap and sob.
“Ahsha….I am so sorry” Derek says in a breathy tone as you can barley here is voice. He was fighting back tears himself for his wife but he knew that in this moment he had to still fight to protect her.
“Derek how……how did this happen? I don’t understand”. Ahsha says through her tears.
Ahsha I don’t know, but I promise you that I wont rest until I find out who it is and I hope you’re nowhere around because I might kill this guy”. Derek admitted to his true anger.
Derek this could ruin us. Our careers, our reputations, everything we’ve worked for. I can only imagine what my mom and dad are thinking right now.” Ahsha cried “I just…..cant believe this”. Derek grabbed his wife and sat her up. He needed to talk her off the edge and this wasn’t about talking smooth or being charming this would be honest. Derek understood why Ahsha was so shaken up though. In reality a man could get away with anything. The media would just glorify Derek for being successful, the alpha male in his home and women would through their panties at him left and right because it was confirmed by Ahsha’s screams that he was sexing his wife
properly putting their curiosity to bed and other men would just applaud him. But on the other hand they would see Ahsha as the nagging wife, who fights with her husband over nothing, the controlling one. Most women would probably accuse her of being a whore even though she is only heard making love to her husband and the media would make a mockery of their marriage thinking that Ahsha allows other partners in their bed or whatever else they wanted to make up, creating lies that Derek is aggressive and she is weak. They would turn their marriage into some sexed crazed affair knowing that they’ve had the police to show up to their home because of wild
sex. Even though their relationship was so much more then solid then that and their love was stronger then sex could ever be the truth is the media wouldnt pay attention to the truth.
“Ahsha look at me. Look me right in my eyes baby. You think I would ever let that happen. Baby nothing can ruin us. We have made it through so many things this wont stop us. Im sure the media is having a field day with us right now but you’re forgetting one thing. Baby I got you and I got us. Im not saying this wont be hard but if its one thing I know is that we’re fighters and as long as we’re fighting together nothing can beat us.
"I really thought Miami would be different Derek.”
“I did too Ahsha but now that we’re in this we gotta face it. I know that you probably wanna run and hide right now, and apart of me wants to shelter you but baby we cant. Everything on that footage was a hundred percent us and we have to live in it. We’re sucessful, we’re happy, sometimes we fight like cats and dogs, we make love and on occasion or two we fuck like animals. Derek chuckled earning a soft laugh from his wife as well. “But the biggest truth about that video is that we love each other. Babe I know that something that precious shouldnt be shared with the world because people can make it into something ugly. Derek wiped away Ahsha’s tear away from her face. "But that’ll never change
that what we have is something special.”
Derek pulled Ahsha into him even further. Ahsha looked into Derek’s warm eyes and for the first time she felt calm because he was right. Ahsha gave Derek a weak smile because she could always count on him in he toughest times. Derek wasnt lying one bit and everything he was saying made complete since.
“You always know what to say” Ahsha said sniffling. “I know Ill feel better once I talk to my mom but I just cant face anyone right now.” Ahsha took a deep breath.
“Ahsha it’ll be fine” Derek said confidently. “No matter what your parents love you but most of all they know you. Trust me when I say they probably know something isn’t right”.
“Well Derek what’s our next step?” Ahsha looked to her husband for clarity. Derek kissed her on the side of her temple.
“We pickup the pieces together, talk with our lawyer and the detectives and find this son of a bitch” Derek stated.
“Derek promise me through this whole thing we’ll make sure that we’re okay and that our marriage is protected.”
“ I promise”. Derek declared confidently.
……………………..

After and hour of Derek helping Ahsha pull herself together everyone arrives back to their home. Ahsha and Derek took a seat on their couch very close together. Ahsha still visibly shaken curled herself into a ball and lays her head on Derek’s chest as he place a protecting arm around her. Before everyone entered Derek instructed that he and Ahsha speak with their lawyer first. As followed the first person to enter their home was their lawyer Jeffery Stokes. Jeff sat on the couch opposite of the couple.
“Hey Jeff” Derek said nodding his head towards their lawyer.
“Hey D, I know this inst easy and its about to get a lot tougher. The detectives we have here to help with your case are outside. Now being that the situation is sticky they’re gonna have to ask you guys some tough questions”.
"What kind of question Jeff?” Derek asked in a gaurded tone
Derek they can ask the two of you anything, I just want you to be ready and prepared. Although its for the better to get more information of building the case I’ll be here the entire interview and I’ll let you know whatever you dont want to answer you dont have to. I’ll also advise you both on what not to answer period. I just need to know that you both are ready for this”. Finished Jeff.
“You ready Mrs. Roman?“ Derek inquired rubbing the side of her shoulder. Ahsha instantly thought about those same words Derek asked her when they boarded the plane to Miami but this time she wasn’t so sure.
"Yeah” Ahsha responded looking upward trying not to cry again.
“Okay, we’re ready” confirmed Derek. Now the real questioning would begin.

OKAY DERHSA FAM YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF THE INTRODUCTION. I HOPE YOU LIKED IT!!!! SORRY FOR ANY ERROR OR MISSPELLING...

6

Cesare x Lucrezia Meme - {1/5} bittersweet moments

I would ask you something. Then ask, and it is yours.

Homebound 2/?

@paperbaghero wants some more then more is the least I could do, holla holla.

“Are you guys sure about this?” Amy nervously went though every key on the ring, flipping them one at a time, stopping at any of the extra items on the keyring. She wasn’t really looking at them, but it was keeping her busy. She looked around the group, and how unsure they looked, noting how no one answered her right away.

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Kiss me you animal

Summary: (Vampire!phil, hybrid!dan(werewolf and vampire aye) AU)

Like, they both act like they hated each other’s guts, when in honesty they are basically the sappiest couple in school.

Genre: floof

Warning: swearing whats new

Words: 1,964

A/N: this was originally meant to be kirsten’s bday fic but then i thought it wont make her cry s o hehehe. what u mean i used an mcr title. what u mean im an emo fuck. i also wanted to write an au like this since the beginning of time but i never had an idea for a plot but holla here we are. 

“Honestly, go suck on a garlic.” Dan sneers at the pale man seated across him, by means of complexion as a human or not.

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anonymous asked:

Do you have any tips how to write a limbing character?

I’m assuming you mean limping??

First: why are they limping? Does it hurt them? Do they use any aids or pills? all the physical stuffz, you know? It doesn’t need to be fancy if you don’t have a reason for it- could just be ‘unexplained tendon pain’. Yes that’s a thing. If you want specific articles on treatments/exercises/symptoms/that sort of nonsense, just hit me up with what sort of condition you’re going with and I’ll look into it

Someone with a congenital limp (meaning they were born with it) that doesn’t hurt may not use a walking aid or brace, even if the limp is quite severe. By contrast, someone who experiences fatigue or pain in the ankle, knee, or hip, or someone who developed the limp later in life will probably carry around a cane, even if they don’t always use it.

Someone with a limp will pay very close attention to distances, the incline of the ground, and stairs. Stairs are a gatdamn nightmare, and plenty of people with limps will go out of their way to avoid them, including waiting for a crowded elevator. they’ll also likely pay more attention to things like benches and be more nosey about where exactly things are, especially if walking. Also wintertime writing- a character with a limp is going to be Loud about every unsalted patch of ice.

MOST IMPORTANTLY HOWEVER, and i cannot stress this enough

jokes. Jokes are the keystone to writing a good limping character (or any character really). Seriously, I named my cane after a dick joke. God knows how many friends i have with walking issues/ limps who joke about our ages versus our health, dramatic overreactions to facing a flight of stairs, ect ect ect. write all the jokes. every person with a health issue pokes fun at their health. It’s natural and not seeing it in media is always so confusing and it makes it pretty obvious that whoever is writing this character probably doesnt know anybody irl to base them off of.

let me know if there’s anything i missed!!!!

what we say: i’m fine 

what we mean: i don’t understand why ubisoft won’t make a vaas prequel or just give us anything to do with vaas, like we’re good people we don’t deserve this, can michael mando like sort something out, it’s been too long people and you kiLLED HIM OFF HALFWAY THROUGH THE GAME LIKE WTF time to give back ubisoft

8

how did this get made?
∟crossroads (2002): One word- Yowza! Guys who saw this flick know that the best scene ain’t in the beginning before graduation, it’s that night! Can I get a holla?! I mean, JEEZ! Girls, well, um, I don’t know what to tell you about the story b/c the benefit of DVD is accessing the best parts & continually watching them over & over again like my boy JTapp! Props! I will say that anyone who ain’t switch-hittin or changing teams (you know) will enjoy Lucy’s “first” with her lab partner! That & b/c Dan Akyroyd is the bombs in this flick, but still ain’t no Ray in Ghostbusters! Five stars.”- amazon user jon arnold

anonymous asked:

thank you for finally playing out a smutty thread. i have always wanted to see you and elita's beautiful writing take it on AND I LOVE IT

I want to answer this because I saw it and I was so humbled nonny like, this means so much to me like…I’m trying not to cry.

I’ve not done smut in a long time, and I always doubted my writing, thinking it wasn’t good enough, and I held off from doing it on op because I just wasn’t sure I could do it? even I felt the same with writing him in general, and just seeing this ask, it means a lot to lita and me… like you don’t understand. smut I feel like has always been weakest for me, along with fighting, but after having this blog for 5 years almst (5th bday on August holla) my writing has improved a lot, and I have had so many awesome friends and rp pals to help me with that, and now with @elitaxne I feel as though she’s helped me so much with not only becoming a better writer but a person and she’s just so supportive and it’s been a long time since I felt comfortable enough with someone to write like that.

so thanks babe, for beliving in me and encouraging me. you are the best.

and thank you to my followers, mutuals and non, friends included for their support. I wouldn’t be where I am today, if it was not for you guys.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

High For Hours Lyrics

[Intro]
This is called being high as shit
For hours
That’s the name of this song nigga high as shit for hours
Here we go, yeah

[Verse 1]
American hypocrisy, oh let me count the ways
They came here seeking freedom and they end up owning slaves
Justified it using Christianity would says
Religion don’t mean shit, there’s too much ego in the way
That’s why ISIS is in crisis
But in reality this country do the same shit
Take a life and call it righteous
Remember when Bin Laden got killed, supposedly
In a hotel lobby after a show
Was noticing these white ladies watching CNN
Covering the action
They read the headline and then they all started clapping
As if Lebron has just scored a basket at the buzzer
I stood there for a second watch them high five each other
For real? I though this was thou shalt not kill
But police still letting off niggas in the Ville
Claiming that he reached for a gun
They really think we dumb and got a death wish
Now somebody’s son is laying breathless
When I was a little boy my father lived in Texas
Pulled up in Toyota, drove that bitch like it was Lexus
Put my bag in his trunk and headed off for Dallas
Out their for the summer feeling just like I was Alice
Lost in the wonder land where niggas still suffering
Just like they was back home and that’s wrong

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