Things I have learned by joining the local Methodist Church’s coffee & knitting circle (where I am the only person under 60 years old):
How to double knit very, very quickly
Mrs. Jonson on the third pew won’t mind her own business, bless her heart. And she buys her pies pre-made for all the church functions.
Ways that women cheated the system in 1950s Texas to get into college and start careers. Including a memorable “He told me I wouldn’t last a week, but then 6 years later, I had to let him go because his production was way down.” *drinks sip of coffee*
We Might Be Conservative But Gosh Darn That Trump Bless His Heart He Doesn’t Know Anything About God Or Texas
And On That Note, God And Texas Are The Only Good Things Left In The World. Erin Write That Down.
How to rescue a dropped stitch and make it look like it never happened
Public schools and inclusive, desegregated education will single-handedly save the world
Sharing recipes is a sacred bonding and community-building tradition that rivals the greatest political negotiations and land deals in history
“It’s better that you prefer girls honey, the Boyfriend Curse doesn’t apply to your girlfriend and a lovin’ god’ll keep on a-lovin. You better make that girl a sweater.’”
(Boyfriend Curse = knit a sweater for a boy and he’ll leave you when you finish it)
Mrs. Barbara’s husband cheated in ‘76, resulting in a divorce. She thought it was the end of the world because her youth had already passed, but now she’s an engineer and married to a kind, good man who she met when she went back to college in ‘79.
“The only things you can trust in are God, your good sense, and the wisdom of those older women you grew up admiring. The rest is crap.”
I’m an admitted serial Sakura shipper. If there’s a single man in Konoha (or outside of it), you can almost bet I’ll find a way to somehow ship them. But honestly, even if I don’t necessarily ship them, I may find the story beautiful and put it here for others who ship them. Most are in the Naruto-verse but will be stated otherwise if not.
Most, if not all, are Rated M. So be warned that almost all of them contain smut/adult content of some kind. I’m trying to branch out and read things that don’t contain smut but it’s a little challenging. I like steamy reads.
Warning: The reason I add stories to my Favorites is that they bring me joy. I find entertainment in them and so I’ll add them for me to enjoy later if I so wish. In some of these stories, the characters might be slightly out of character and it didn’t bother me while reading because the story still made me feel something. So this is warning for those who don’t like any stories that have the characters OOC and avoid them. I put a warning on those I thought might be an issue for others. But like I said. If they are in my favorites, then they’re going to make you giggle and/or cry at some point.
Kakashi x Sakura
House Calls by Spoiled Sweet || Rated M || WC: 262, 803 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || Always the Team Mom, Sakura opens up her home as a clinic for the hospital-phobic ninja of Konoha. At the same time, her relationship with Kakashi begins to evolve in a way she never expected.
Will of Fire by Cynchick || Rated M || WC: 223, 234 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || Forced to flee their village and the new regime, the loyal shinobi of Konoha must find a way to preserve their way of life and take back their home. As they fight for their future, Team Seven struggles to overcome the past.
Cuddler by cutecrazyice || Rated T || WC: 3, 482 || One-Shot || Complete || Who knew he would have the most unexpected habit?
The Tape Recorder by cutecrazyice || Rated M || WC: 3, 545 || One-Shot || Complete || It’s just their regular Team 07 reconnaissance. Of course nothing out of the ordinary will happen…right?
Pin Me Up, Pin Me Down by J-Pop Princess || Rated M || WC: 20, 006 || One-Shot || Complete || Sakura is in her third year of medical school and is struggling to pay the bills. When an opportunity comes to pose as a nude model for a men’s magazine, she reluctantly takes it, but she didn’t expect the magnetic pull toward her photographer. Non-Naruto-verse AU.
Double Edged by nimblnymph || Rated M || WC: 347, 047 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || Seduction is like a double edged sword. You never know when you’ll go from being the seducer to being the seduced.
Hot Medicine by Saphri || Rated M || WC: 26, 051 || One-Shot || Complete || Fighting fires was a tough job by all accounts. But when the job requires getting treated by beautiful pink haired paramedic it was worth the hardship. Non-Naruto-verse AU.
A Series of Firsts by leafygirl || Rated M || WC: 9, 200 || One-Shot || Complete || A series of moments that happen between Sakura and Kakashi on a rotation at an ANBU camp as they discover their dynamic has changed over the years.
TwentySeven Days by nimblnymph || Rated M || WC: 7, 783 || One-Shot || Complete || This was not how he saw his twenty-seven days of enforced celibacy ending.
Hokage sama by SilverShine || Rated M || WC: 11, 210 || One-Shot || Complete || Every Hokage needs his assistant.
Stronger Than Blood by Stunning Sunset || Rated M || WC: 11, 530 || Multiple Chapters || WIP/Last Updated: 7/20/16 || In which Genma is a mother hen, Kakashi is a lost puppy/big brother, and Sakura unwittingly makes them all a family. Everything began when Sakura attracted the attention of two lost, broken men. From then on, she couldn’t help crossing the path of several ninjas and becoming a permanent fixture in their lives, slowly evolving into a strong medic-nin over the years. (Not technically a romance fic. But I added it here because it’s just too cute.)
Oral Fixation by rabid behemoth || Rated M || WC: 7, 942 || Two-Shot || Complete || Professor Kakashi learns that Chinese take-out is sexy depending on how it’s eaten. Non-Naruto-verse AU.
Arranged by Enodia || Rated K || WC: 3, 998 || One-Shot || Complete|| When something is arranged, it is planned, wished for, made sure of. The opposite of arrange, you say? Usually, it is disarrange or confuse– but sometimes it’s coup de foudre, a momentary madness, a heatwave of lust, a sudden burst of love.
Naruto x Sakura
The Rain and Her Embrace by Angelas || Rated M || WC: 10, 533 || Two-Shot || Complete || Naruto finds his life turning towards the worst. An innocent visit to a strip bar and he meets an exotic dancer. A beautiful, mysterious one at that Non-Naruto-verse.
Colors of a Heart by cutecrazyice || Rated M || WC: 6, 473 || One-Shot || Complete || They were fifteen when she first realized that the blue in Naruto’s eyes were the exact color of the sky when he was happy, and the exact color of the dark ocean when he was grieving.
Let’s Get Married by luvtoshi || Rated M || WC: 59, 760 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || It was supposed to be a simple solution to their immediate problems. But maybe they took more than they can chew?
Distractions by dancer-me || Rated M || WC: 7, 153 || One-Shot || Complete || A small training accident causes Sakura to acquire an uncomfortable splinter in a difficult to access place on her own. Naruto, feeling guilty for the whole situation but ignorant of the cause, demands that he be able to help her remove it.
Itachi x Sakura
Nightingale by Blade Redwind || Rated M || WC: 76, 919 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || He was an ass, an absolute asshole, but, he was her patient and there wasn’t much to be done about it. He didn’t need her, he didn’t need anyone; what he didn’t plan on was wanting her.
The Way of the Wind by just enough || Rated M || WC: 158, 542 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || ANBU Captain Uchiha Itachi had things well planned out until a medic-nin with ridiculous hair went and made herself interesting. Sakura insisted she was just doing her job, but Itachi didn’t quite see it that way. Non-massacre AU.
Perception by Cynchick || Rated M || WC: 140, 125 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || The Akatsuki think Sakura will be the perfect bait to lure the Kyuubi but they get a whole lot more than they planned for. A story about the blurred line between good and evil and how what we think we know can be proven very wrong. (Sequel is Silver Lining)
Love Lockdown by Lady Silvamord || Rated M || WC: 66, 700 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || They say it takes a village to raise a child. Similarly, it takes the entirety of Akatsuki to help Itachi get the girl.
Age Of Consent by Lady Silvamond || Rated T || WC: 16, 609 || Two-Shot || Complete || "Sasuke Uchiha, did you just sell me to your crazy older brother?“ How Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto learn that stealing Christmas trees off the Interstate is not the way to go. With help from Law Enforcement Agent Itachi Uchiha, of course. Non-Naruto-verse AU.
Vespertine by Cynchick || Rated M || WC: 117, 376 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || Two enemies strike a bargain to save what they both hold dear. He will reveal a truth that shakes her beliefs, drawing her into a web of lies and betrayal. She will offer the redemption for which he never hoped and show him how to be human again.
Missed Connection by rabid behemoth || Rated T || WC: 1, 799 || One-Shot || Complete || Sakura misses her train but meets a man from another lifetime.
Hokage Sakura by Moor || Rated M || WC: 9, 586 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || Sakura is Hokage, and Itachi is her faithful ANBU attendant… who is trying desperately to get her attention.
Akatsuki x Sakura
Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting by odmonkey || Rated M || WC: 60, 804 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || “It would have been difficult to say who was more unpleasantly surprised, Haruno Sakura or the five members of the Akatsuki, when she walked into the back-end of nowhere bar.” Filthy words and sexy talk are all part of a day’s work for the Akatsuki.
Take It or Leave It by kc-archive || Rated M || WC: 79, 648 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || After a moment of shock, Sakura realized that two fully grown, fully naked men were sitting squished uncomfortably together in her bathtub. (Warning: There are slight themes of non-con.)
Magnetized by Aelibia || Rated M || WC: 24, 365 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || A lab experiment goes wrong, leaving Sakura a sex-crazed fiend. Determined to find a cure, she stalks the Akatsuki HQ looking for a way to alleviate her unexpected problem. (There is lots of OOC… but the OOC is…hilarious.)
Deidara x Sakura
Vertigo by Cynchick || Rated M || WC: 201, 198 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || Sakura accepts the most critical and dangerous mission of her life, but the price of success may very well be her soul. When your entire world turns upside down, how do you keep from going under?
Silver Lining by Cynchick || Rated M || WC: 108, 305 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || Eight years ago they said goodbye forever. Now, when they have both lost everything, fate has thrown them together again in the most unlikely of ways. (Sequel to Perception)
Shikamaru x Sakura
Things You Just Don’t Talk About by Enodia || Rated M || WC: 118, 175 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || “’Do you enjoy sex?’ Shikamaru asked bluntly. I just can’t believe I’m talking about this, and with Shikamaru, of all people, Sakura thought.” Sakura is in for a surprise. Or, rather, a series of surprises.
In Thirteen Steps by Cella N || Rated M || WC: 6, 217 || One-Shot || Complete || It doesn’t always end up as planned. The road there is the fun part.
Kisame x Sakura
The Monster that was Man Enough by Stunning Sweet || Rated M || WC: 5, 362 || One-Shot || Complete || Would a blossom get eaten if it fell into a sake pond home to a shark? A fortuitous meeting at a bar and a temporary truce may change quite a few things. While Sakura does not mind being eaten, both know that war is near. And they’re not on the same side.
On Display by Secret Sheik || Rated M || WC: 41, 628 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || After a great war, Kisame and Sakura follow their own paths. Sakura is a geisha, and Kisame just happens to find her.
Shino x Sakura
Bugger Up! by evefaxton || Rated M || WC: 80, 010 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || Shino and his father need help with their mission, but this was more than they expected. Two years after Shippuuden timeline. (Pairings are: Shino/Sakura - Shibi/Kurenai)
Strawberries by Psychotically Inclined || Rated M || WC: 12, 119 || One-Shot || Complete || Kiba cackled lightly at the scene, as Ino was grinning, but clearly frustrated at the same time. Neji held his smirk, as his hand shot out. The blond kunoichi groaned in her loss. “Ino-san, you owe me twenty bucks.”
Sai x Sakura
Bonded by J-Pop Princess || Rated M || WC: 33, 541 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || Sai, Sakura, and Naruto have been having trouble with teamwork lately and Sai takes it upon himself to fix it, starting with Sakura. Unfortunately, his questionable methods are only made worse by seeking help from Kakashi and Icha Icha. (Warning: There are slight dub-con themes.)
Once More, With Feeling by Cynchick || Rated M || WC: 7, 924 || One-Shot || Complete || Sakura didn’t know what she was thinking when she showed up on his doorstep.
Shisui x Sakura
Training Grounds ThirtySeven by KatMaxKu || Rated M || WC: 14, 765 || One-Shot || Complete || Haruno Sakura would have done anything to get her favorite training spot back, but she didn’t realize the gravity of her determination…
Gaara x Sakura
How & Why by randomsomeone || Rated M || WC: 25, 088 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || A psychological war gets completely out of control. Lust doesn’t cut it and love doesn’t just happen, so how else can it work?
In Hindsight by FallenCrimsonStar || Rated M || WC: 8, 441 || One-Shot || Complete || He wasn’t her first. Or her second. Or even her third. But she was kind of hoping he would be her last. Non-Naruto-verse AU.
Of Love and Monsters by FallenCrimsonStar || Rated M || WC: 6, 343 || One-Shot || Complete || She’d heard all the fairy tales, read all the heroic novels of knights, damsels, and dragons, and knew all the rules. But that was the problem with love: it didn’t play by any rules. And that stubborn, frustrating redhead refused to play by hers. Non-Naruto-verse AU.
Something Blue by FallenCrimsonStar || Rated M || WC: 7, 896 || One-Shot || Complete || A civilian Sakura is married off to the Kazekage to keep the peace between their nations.
Sasori x Sakura
Tagging Hearts by HiHi-Ai || Rated M || WC: 67, 091 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || Sakura is a clean cut girl just dying for a better life; so Sasori gives it to her. His art brings her to a new world full of adventure, emotions, and excitement. The deeper she gets, the crazier things seem; but Sasori won’t let her wilt away on his watch. He opens her eyes, while she opens her heart. A look into the world of Graffiti and Love. Non-Naruto-verse AU. (Some OOC in this.)
Jiraiya x Sakura
Forbidden Fruit by ChaoticIrony || Rated M || WC: 22, 724 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || Jiraiya was quite probably the most experienced man in all of Konoha. If anyone could show her what she was missing out on it was him. He had written an entire series of bestselling books on the subject for goodness sake. Yes, there was a universal truth that Sakura knew all too well in her line of work. When you find yourself at loss, it was time to consult a specialist.
Fugaku x Sakura
Turning Over a New Leaf, or How Fugaku Got His Groove Back by Moor || Rated M || WC: 21, 709 || Multiple Chapters ||Complete ||Widower Fugaku announced to his sons his intention to withdraw as clan head. He gives them a timeline to get moving on their search for a perfect mate before he realizes they’re aiming for the same woman. When Fugaku ends up taking their place on a mission with a mysterious ANBU kunoichi, he’s enchanted… until she disappears. The search is on! (There are two versions. The first version (the link above) is a true M rating and has graphic smut while another version is the same story with the smut cut out.)
Naruto x Sakura x Sasuke
Party of Three by J-Pop Princess || Rated M || WC: 63, 139 || Multiple Chapters || Complete || Sakura has never really explored the world of sexual desire but after a little too much sake, all that could change!
“No young lady can be justified in falling in love before the gentleman’s love is declared, it must be very improper that a young lady should dream of a gentleman before the gentleman is first known to have dreamt of her.”
Everyone is coming up with emotional and touching scenarios where Aline thanks Alec for coming out because it gives her the strength to know one day she can too but all I’m imagining is it coming to something like:
Translation: “A friend’s business just got destroyed for no apparent reason in an attack that could’ve killed her had she been there, it probably has something to do with the trouble from your past that follows you e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e and always gets us involved, and you’ve been very obviously hiding whatever you know about it for a while, but I love you and care for you so much that your wellbeing comes first and foremost.” Kamiya Kaoru, ladies and gentlemen.