by 1:b

*Me and my future kids talking*

Kids: Mommy, who was president from 2016-2020?

Me: I don’t remember kids, but let me give you a rundown on what happened at the 2017 Oscars-it was WILD

The half - Orc Bards Dong

Context: party is fighting a young Green Dragon and our bard gets an idea.

half-orc bard: “I want to intimidate him and challenge him to a cock off”
DM: “did you say rock off?”
Half-orc bard: “no I whip my cock out and attempt to intimidate him”
Dm: Uhm, ok roll
Half-orc bard: (Nat 20)
Entire party: Holy shit..
DM: The dragon takes off in fright, from the stench of a unwashed half-orc penis.

DM: *gets Up And walks away.


Congrats to Jay Park and all those people who have worked with him on his music and album ~ It’s nice to see him getting some credible recognition and awards for all the hard work he’s put in for his music and through his passion in doing things his own way and style. 🙌🏼 Some may dislike him in some way or another but you can’t help but respect the amount of effort and love and passion he puts in for his music and videos ~

sorry just not feeling up to stuff rn.

Started to watch G1 with my friend, and it was amazing how incompetent everyone was, so we started to dub it as ‘gay baby fights - the series’ 

This was actually part of a bigger picture, but then I felt like I prooobaablyyy won’t finish a picture including several bots kicking each others around with their puny limbs, so here, have the seeker trio just in case the rest of that masterpiece never sees the daylight lmao


Madi had the fortunate experience of sharing third period English with Lacy Hale. Since she didn’t know any of her other classmates, the two were forced to interact with each other. Madi didn’t mind though. The two were somewhat friends - if she could even call a play-date when they were ten a friendship - and they shared similar interests.

Lacy: “So some friends and I are hanging out after school. You can join us, you know, since you aren’t half as annoying as your sister.”

Though Madi didn’t mind Lacy, the slight insult she threw towards Rowan irritated her a bit.

Madi:  “I can’t. I have to go to a stupid job opening at an irrelevant publishing company after school.”

Lacy: “Yikes, that su-”

Lacy and Madi’s conversation was abruptly stopped by the mild telling-off their English teacher gave them as a consequence of talking.


While everyone else is still at work, Samantha follows Caleb around as he cleans the house. Eventually, Caleb stops in the middle of cleaning the upstairs and turns to Samantha with a smug grin on his face. “Is it really that much fun to follow me around?” He asks with a laugh, raising an eyebrow questioningly. 

“Sorry,” Samantha chuckles. “I’m sure you’re sick of me and this belly following you around. I just don’t know what else to do,” she admits sheepishly.

Caleb can’t help but let out a snort at Samantha’s words. “As if I actually mind having you near me. I actually enjoy it quite a lot,” he admits, his cheeks turning a dark shade of pink as he offers Samantha a sweet smile. “You are a bit distracting, though, being so damn gorgeous.”

“Even if I’m getting chubbier and more hormonal every day?”

Caleb frowns slightly and steps closer. “The fact that you’re carrying a child only makes you more beautiful, Sam.”