by 'thing' i mean 'i love this meme and i'm not even sorry'

  • what she says: I'm okay
  • what she means: Can I say my shit? Can I say my shit? I've got lots of shit to say. I've got lots of shit to say. I can't fit my hand inside a Pringle can, I have a huge amount of trouble fitting my hand inside of a Pringle can. I can get my hand like four inches into the can but then I have to tilt the can into my mouth but then a bunch of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can so they all go spilling onto my face. What I'm trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. I'll say it again. The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small. If you feel me, put your hands up, Come on! If you feel me, put your hands up! Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside of a Pringle can! Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can, your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. You think you can, I know you can't, you think you can. Pringles! Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent of the complaint letters you get are about the width of your cans?! Just... make them wider?! I've overdone the Pringles thing, sorry. I want to have a daughter. I want to have a daughter so I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in the Pringle can. Yes, I'm still on the Pringle cans thing! Yeah! I'll move on, alright? But that is priority número uno. I don't go to the gym because I'm self-conscious about my body but I'm self-conscious about my body cause I don't go to the gym. Irony can be so painful. That's a Catch-22. Let's do this! I went to Chipotle, I went to Chipotle, got myself a chicken burrito. I went down the line and I got all these ingredients and at the end of the line the guy tried to wrap the burrito but half of the shit inside the burrito spilled out. He still wrapped it. I was like, dude you should have warned me! You're a burrito expert, you should have told me halfway through: "Hey, man. You might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here" Do you fucking think I want a messy burrito? No one wants a messy burrito! The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained within the confines of the tortilla. I wouldn't have gotten half of the shit if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito! Alright? Look I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got half of it! Like, I'm okay with small mistakes, if you've got no more chicken I'll take pork. But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. Man, I wouldn't have got half of it, like half of it, like, half of it, like, half of it, like half of it right now,I think it's time I think it's time, I think that we break this down. I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are pringle cans, and burritos. The truth is, my biggest problem's you. I want to please you but I want to stay true to myself. I want to give you the night out that you deserve but I want to say what I think and not care what you think about it. Part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of me needs you, part of me fears you. And I don't think that I can handle this right now, handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. Look at them, they're just staring at me like, "come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself." I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. They don't even know the half of this right now, they don't even know the half of it. But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show so I should probably just shut up and do my job so here I go. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got half. You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme and if they still don't understand you then you run it one more time. I don't think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) I don't think that I can handle this right now (Hoo!) If you think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) Right now (Haa!) Now, handle this right, handle this right, handle this right now.Thank you, good night! I hope you're happy.
more texts for you bitches

ANGSTY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] You should have told me you wanted me out of your life.
[text] I should have never let you back into my life.
[text] Okay [muse’s name] what’s the deal, pretty sure this is you…listen if you want me to leave you alone, please just tell that.
[text] Please don’t walk away.
[text] Please don’t do this.
[text] When are you going to realize I want nothing to do with you?
[text] You want nothing to do with me, I get it.
[text] I’m an idiot. You fooled me again.
[text] When I think things are about to change … I’m always proven wrong.
[text] I just want you to be happy. And you’ll be happier without me.
[text] I just hate that someone could make me trust [him/her/them] the way that I did
[text] The truth is I’m not over you.
[text] The truth is I never really wanted to be with you.
[text] I’m seeing someone else.
[text] How the hell did you get my number, stalker?
[text] You’re so selfish.
[text] I just saw you leave with [her/him/them].
[text] FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB CUTE FACE

LOVING TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah.
[text] Be careful.
[text] I’m only saying it because I love you.
[text] I’m only saying it because I care about you.
[text] Okay, I’m bringing coffee.
[text] I’m thinking dinner and a movie later this week?
[text] Let me take you out, please?
[text] Let me make you dinner tonight.
[text] I want you to be happy.
[text] You’re always safe with me.
[text] I can’t stop thinking about you.
[text] I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you.
[text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important. Please don’t forget that.
[text] It was so good seeing you.
[text] You don’t need this shit.
[text] I’ll be there in five minutes.
[text] Let me help, please?
[text] You’re important to me.
[text] Stop falling asleep in the bathtub. You’re going to drown and die and leave me and I’m not having that.
[text] I would gladly watch Netflix and eat Thai with you any day.
[text] I’d give up my phone charger AND the last piece of gum for you. That’s love.
[text] Hey beautiful no judgment but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??

ANGRY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] If you don’t want me to bust your window, I suggest you answer the phone. Now.
[text] To quote Mean Girls, you’re a fugly slut.
[text] Are you SERIOUSLY bringing that up right now!?
[text] Lose my number, asshole.
[text] You’re so predictable and obnoxious. And it’s not only me who thinks so.
[text] …The least you could do is answer, wtf.
[text] You’re a piece of shit human being and an even worse friend.
[text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you can’t even pretend like it isn’t, because you know it is.
[text] Why couldn’t you just stay out of it?
[text] Holy fucking shit, take a hint, asshole.
[text] Go fuck yourself.
[text] What the fucking hell is wrong with you?
[text] You can take your stuff back as long as I don’t light it on fire first.
[text] I have cramps and a migraine so you do NOT want to mess with me right now
[text] Bye and have a very fuck you day

SEXY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
[text] Why are you so hot…like honestly, it’s not fair.
[text] Yeah, you looked good in your [dress/shirt/pants] last night but really, they looked way better on my floor.
[text] Come over. With condoms.
[text] You should come over, clothing optional.
[text] I feel like a nasty slut and I LOVE IT
[text] Sorry I got drunk and texted you about my sex life
[text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous?
[text] If you’re not at my apartment, shirtless, in five minutes, I will be personally offended.
[text] I don’t think he likes that I’m always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
[text] It’ll be like The Notebook, except with way more of my penis.
[text] I didn’t know that all of his brothers would be hot and musically inclined, too. That’s a dick move on behalf of biology.
[text] I DON’T WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
[text] So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
[text] I just need some of your time and all of your body.
[text] I am available for nakedness
[text] I think about [him/her/them] when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love

DRUNK TEXTS, BITCH

[drunk text] So wat are you really over me no w
[drunk text] AND I UNFOLLOWED YOU ON INSTAGRAM TOO, BITCH
[drunk text] You are my queen and my savior and I love you forever
[drunk text] You are the most beautiful girl I have ever known
[drunk text] I’m eating macaroni and cheese on a slice of pizza and autocorrect just wrote that text for me pretty much, what’s your night like
[drunk text] Listen up slut, you’re one hot piece of ass and if [he/she/they] doesn’t realize it, it’s their loss
[drunk text] but what’s the point of a Disney sing off party if you’re not here. You have to be be the Pumbaa to my Timon
[drunk text] Can you pls remind me tomorrow of how much of a fool I made myself tonight
[drunk text] FUCK YOU YOU’RE GORGEOUS
[drunk text] I think maybe you and me should like go out and eat pizza or something check yes or no
[drunk text] Please don’t hate me I’m too tired and too dizzy to be hated
[drunk text] I hate (him/her) but less when I’m drinking. Thanks, alcohol.
[drunk text] Omf g you need to get over here now I think I’m dyin
[drunk text] SWEEEEEEEET CAROLINE

STRANGE SENTENCE STARTERS —— for the creative writer in you. Send these in and see what your partner comes up with as a scenario!

*These are completely interchangeable, they’re just in categories to make it easier for all of y’all.

FOR AMIGOS;

  • “How many times are you going to do that, exactly?”
  • “You were right. As per usual.”
  • “Sometimes it’s hard to see the lines you’ve drawn until you’ve crossed them.”
  • “You’re surprised because you have a soft spot for hot blondes.”
  • “Is that – that’s a naked Scarlett Johansson on your fridge.”
  • “You can stay, but for no more than two nights.”
  • “Please don’t look in this drawer. Please.”
  • “I told you not to pick him up, he’s very sensitive.”
  • “Yes. I might have given you rabies. But in my defense, that’s ridiculous and I didn’t.”
  • “I’m sorry, my cell phone data coverage does not cover the bullshit zone you’re in.”
  • “Hey! Give me your pants. Quick, give me your pants.”
  • “No, I’m serious. Stop it right now or I won’t give you the last cookie.”
  • “You think I’m kidding. But I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire life.”
  • “How much would a stripper cost and why so much?”
  • “I’m going to buy you a drink. Next week. On Thursday. When I get paid. Can you swing this one?”
  • “Hippos are hungry, hungry! And you are considerably larger than a small piece of lettuce!”
  • “When I was little, I used to be afraid of mummies. And now look at me. I love dead people!”
  • “I don’t even miss my ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, I just miss my glockenspiel.”
  • “It happens to everyone, you just sell your skirt for some coke.”
  • “Please do not pull your pants down in front of baby Jesus.”
  • “That’s not the phrasing you want to use.”
  • “Because nothing says heterosexuality like a gold sash.”
  • “Please don’t take it out on my boobs.”
  • “When it gets really windy I look like a bizarre combination of Marilyn Monroe and Cousin It.”
  • “We have to change our names and run away to Mexico. It’s the only way. Adios.”
  • “How much money do you have on you?”
  • “Please tell me that’s a raisin and not a tiny hamster shit you’re eating.”
  • “Life is a lot better when you put things on your head.”
  • “For someone who’s not very deep, I’m incredibly not shallow.”

FOR LOVERS;

  • “I need you to remind me what it feels like to love you.”
  • “I love you. What? No I don’t. Forget I said anything.”
  • “I need you to tickle my feet but like, sexually.”
  • “If we got married, would I have to take your last name? Or could we just make up a new one?”
  • “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
  • “I heard you say his/her name in your sleep last night. Want to explain or should I just leave?”
  • “I want to spend the night with you tonight. But I also want to sleep on your side. And without you on the bed. So technically I just want your bed.”
  • “Please don’t be proposing to me in an empty parking lot.”
  • “Stop saying you’re sorry, you stupid fucking broken record. It’s done.”
  • “I’m not jealous, I’m curious. About the things you were doing. With him/her. Without me.”
  • “Your mother’s looks could kill. Actually, are you sure they haven’t before?”
  • “If you’re breaking up with me tonight, can I at least eat first?”
  • “Stop sweating. It’s not attractive during sex, and it’s not attractive now.”
  • “Are you – are you checking me out? In the line for the confessional?”
  • “We have to go. I might have told your mom I’m pregnant. I don’t know why I said that. I’m not.”
  • “So what you’re saying it that you’re snorting sugar to get excited for sex.”
  • “My dog licks better than you do.”
  • “But through every stupid thing you do and say – and those are a lot, by the way – I love you.”
  • “I don’t care if you’re growing another head. I’ll talk to both of them. I love you.”
  • “And I’d take fifty years of not talking to you for just a day of doing so. I promise that’s a compliment.”
  • “I don’t want to hide this anymore. I’m not some dirty little secret, you American Reject.”
  • “This is a bit too dramatic for my taste, so can we skip it and have sex instead?”
  • “I don’t want you to think of me as your personal sex toy.”
  • “Thanks and all, but that makes me feel like a low-class escort, so.”
  • “A kiss in exchange for every nice thing you say about me. Deal?”
  • “Promise me you’re not like him/her. I need to hear it from your mouth. Promise me.”
  • “Look, I’ve had my heart broken before. I’m not ready to let you in just yet. Anywhere.”
  • “Don’t leave me here. Anywhere else, okay, but not here.”
  • “I wish I could say that was the worst sex I ever had, but I’ve had worse.”
  • “I just blew you. Could you look a little happier about it?”
  • “I’m attracted to shiny things, so if it looks like I’m staring at your chest, it’s because I am.”

FOR TEXTERS;

  • [text] This is upsetting my poop.
  • [text] Hey, are you up? If you’re not, can you wake up? I need some help.
  • [text] So it involves feces and large birds.
  • [text] She said that to you? Why?
  • [text] Please come back. I miss you.
  • [text] What are you good for if you’re not gonna bring me ice cream?
  • [text] Can you ignore that last text? It wasn’t meant for you. I’m sorry.
  • [text] …did you just send me a nude?
  • [text] FUCK OFF YOU ONE-EYED WHORE.
  • [text] I don’t know why I said that.
  • [text] Leave it to you to fuck the simplest of requests up.
  • [text] Do we have to go to their wedding? He’s only my first cousin.
  • [text] How much does ‘I love you’ mean to you?
  • [text] I am not stalking you. But you should do something about your bathroom, it’s gross.
  • [text] Please. I need this so badly.
  • [text] I trust you completely.
  • [text] I’m a genius. You’re a peasant. Everything makes sense again.
  • [text] Hey, buddy! Got like, five hundred bucks I can borrow? Times ten.
  • [text] She lost it. She completely lost it. She said her uterus was attacking her bone marrow.
  • [text] I will not get you donuts.
  • [text] Please? I love you.
  • [text] I think I’m gonna go to sleep now, but you keep thinking that.
  • [text] I can’t say this out loud. They might be listening.
  • [text] I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t think he’d duck when the ball came at him, I’m sorry.
  • [text] You’re cute.
  • [text] I just need you to understand how important you are to me.
  • [text] Fuck off.
  • [text] Okay. Guess we’ll leave it at that then.
What went down in Dislocoeur
  • INTRO SEQUENCE
  • Ms. Bustier: in many fairy tales the prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess, can anyone tell me why?
  • Rose: BECAUSE DO THE SMOOCHY THING
  • Ms. Bustier: that's not really an answer
  • Max: technically this only applies to 87% of fairy tales
  • Ms. Bustier: there's no way that number is correct
  • Ms. Bustier: maybe like 7% or 8% at most
  • Rose: DO THE SMOOCHY THING
  • Ms. Bustier: yes Rose we got that
  • Rose: DO THE SMOOCHY THING DO THE SMOOCHY THING DO THE SMOOCHY THING
  • Ms. Bustier: who are you even talking to
  • Ms. Bustier: are you saying that in the imperative
  • Rose: pls do the smoochy thing :( #ladynoir
  • Adrien: well I just wrote this poem time to toss it in the garbage with the rest of the fandom
  • Marinette: hmm I wonder what that hot guy threw in the trash
  • Marinette: ooh it's a poem!
  • Marinette: "roses are red, violets are violet, poetry is f**king hard, do the smoochy thing pls"
  • Chloé: hmm why is Marinette looking through the garbage
  • Sabrina: did you know there's an entire fandom in there?
  • Chloé: wow she must be really desperate
  • Max: kk Kim it's time for you to run along this route and meet your crush on a bridge
  • Kim: why is her route so convoluted
  • Max: idk but if you meet her on that particular bridge and give her this particular jewel you've got a 87% chance of success
  • Kim: there's no way that number is correct
  • Kim: maybe like 7% or 8% at most
  • Marinette: I say go for it!
  • Kim: kk, running now
  • Alya: NO WAIT COME BACK
  • Alya: NEVER TAKE ROMANTIC ADVICE FROM MARINETTE
  • Marinette: now imma write a poem to Adrien
  • Chloé: and imma break the hearts of a buncha tweens
  • Chloé: hey tweens! you see how fabulous I am? well I'm never gonna date you
  • Chloé: do you see what you're missing out on
  • Chloé: well that was fun anyway I hope one of you gets akumatized now
  • Chloé: F**K ALL Y'ALL TO THE END OF THE WORLD AND BACK
  • Chloé: b**ch I'm out
  • Kim: *goes to bridge*
  • Kim: this is the Pont des Arts, right?
  • Kim: so where did all the locks go
  • Kim: it's just panes of plexiglass
  • Kim: this is way less romantic now
  • Chloé: hey Kim
  • Kim: hey Chloé lemme smash
  • Chloé: are you for real
  • Kim: I got you blue AND yellow
  • Chloé: you're as pathetic as that meme
  • Kim: she doesn't want blue and yellow
  • Chloé: look I've got a buncha tweens clamoring after me now
  • Chloé: so you're like fourth in line at best
  • Chloé: BYE
  • Kim: what has my life come to
  • Hawkmoth: wow this is even more sad than usual
  • Hawkmoth: like, I actually feel really sorry for you
  • Hawkmoth: so here have an incredibly cool transformation
  • Dislocoeur: now we're talkin
  • Dislocoeur: I've got a bow and arrows!
  • Dislocoeur: pew pew pew!
  • Marinette: and now it's POETRY TIME
  • Alya: whaddaya got
  • Marinette: "roses are nerds, poems are easy, lemme smash pls bc I think you're hot"
  • Alya: wot
  • Marinette: wow romance really isn't all that great when you're honest about it
  • Alya: wow and here I didn't think you'd ever have enough experience with romance to figure that out
  • Marinette: ooh sweet burn
  • Marinette: btw that flying guy just shot you with an arrow
  • Alya: yeah that's where the sweet burn came from
  • Alya: and now I'm suddenly tempted to go confront Nino in a rap battle
  • Marinette: YES DO IT
  • Marinette: ok Tikki let's kick that flying guy's butt
  • Dislocoeur: hey it's Ladybug!
  • Marinette: no not yet
  • Dislocoeur: oops sorry
  • Marinette: Tikki, spots on!
  • Dislocoeur: there we go!
  • Ladybug: welp running away now
  • Dislocoeur: pew pew pew!
  • Chat Noir: hey Ladybug I've got a confession to make
  • Ladybug: look I already know you love me ok?
  • Ladybug: please don't endanger us by confessing what's already incredibly obvious when there's a supervillain trying to shoot us
  • Dislocoeur: *shoots Chat Noir*
  • Ladybug: that one's on him
  • Dislocoeur: yeah kinda
  • Chat Noir: now imma kill you
  • Ladybug: why
  • Chat Noir: because hate always wins
  • Ladybug: citation needed
  • Chat Noir: citation: the US election
  • Ladybug: ok fair point
  • Chat Noir: you just accepted anecdotal evidence as proof of a general claim
  • Ladybug: oops you're right
  • Chat Noir: now prepare to die
  • Dislocoeur: *tracks down Chloé*
  • Chloé: wow and here I thought you couldn't get any more ridiculous
  • Dislocoeur: imma shoot you now
  • Chloé: and give me the ability to make even sweeter burns than usual?
  • Dislocoeur: wait nvm that's a terrible idea
  • Chloé: wow even as a villain you can't succeed in anything
  • Dislocoeur: hey Hawkmoth can you Tier 2 akumatize me?
  • Hawkmoth: sorry buddy you're on your own
  • Ladybug: I gotta figure out how to dehateify Chat Noir!
  • Brain ghost Ms. Bustier: the prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess
  • Brain ghost Rose: DO THE SMOOCHY THING
  • Ladybug: disclaimer—the following kiss is intended solely as a means of counteracting Dislocoeur's akuma-granted ability, and should not be interpreted in any romantic or otherwise non-platonic context
  • Ladybug and Chat Noir: *do the smoochy thing*
  • Rose: YES THIS IS PERFECT
  • Chat Noir: I don't remember any of that
  • Ladybug: good now end that f**ker
  • Chat Noir: *ends that f**ker*
  • Ladybug: well I guess we're done here
  • ROLL CREDITS

【 50% OFF STARTER MEME 】

This starter meme is completely based off of THIS starter meme right here, it’s just in a different format to accommodate players with multiple accounts as opposed to just one!! I take no credit for it and if you want to appreciate the content, give the blog a follow, please!!

  • “You can’t have sex with your neighbor’s backyard above-ground pool.”
  • “Let me help you out of that swimsuit– POOL.”
  • “I sure hope we become best friends! But I don’t hope we have a falling out, leading us to have a tense, emotion-heavy, dramatic, competitive, love/hate relationship later on.”
  • “So, anyways, I regain consciousness, there’s cops everywhere, (name) is covered in blood, got an ice-pick– haha, it was kind of a weird Tuesday.”
  • “We’re gonna be late for anime school!”
  • “I’m just saying, is it illegal if I’m in my OWN pool?”
  • “WHAT’S UP SLUTS?! GUESS WHO JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON?!”
  • “(name) WAS A BITCH-ASS POSER.”
  • “Oh no, he’s hot when he’s sad!”
  • “This reminds me of prison. This reminds me of prison. This DEFINITELY reminds me of prison.”
  • “Look at that little pimp. He’s gonna grow up to be a prison ass mothafucka.”
  • “Let’s skip all the fluff and get to the part where we’re shirtless.”
  • “Homeboy looks like shark week, I ain’t messin’ with that.”
  • “It wasn’t a dream! We got arrested for trespassing! We went to JAIL!”
  • “Nah, man, we went to holding. There’s a big difference.”
  • “Yeah now we owe Easter Dave a favor– that is NOT a position you wanna be in.”
  • “Wouldn’t we have seen him around by now? I mean he is a bipedal shark-person.”
  • “I’VE GOT MACE!”
  • “Was macing us really necessary AFTER you remembered who we were?!”
  • “You took the fall for me and I said thank you.”
  • “I went to jail!”
  • “I spent 6 months at a correctional facility!”
  • “I stabbed a girl in the yard!”
  • “I think that guard you killed had a family!”
  • “Look at that majestic ass mothafucka. Like a dolphin or some shit. A dolphin with legs… and arms… and a jet pack.”
  • “BITCH GET IN THE POOL!”
  • “That’s how they do it in Australia.”
  • “20 bucks on jabber jaws.”
  • “Hey, man did you TiVo Glee last night?”
  • “I’m not allowed to watch Glee, my dad says it might turn me into something bad. A musical theater major.”
  • “Neither one of them even died!”
  • “They won’t let me back into sewing club because apparently when I threaten someone with sewing needles it’s deemed ‘inappropriate’ and I 'have to leave’.”
  • “I have to tumblr this!”
  • “A guy with emotional issues who swims away his problems? Lady, that’s the whole team, you’re gonna have to be more specific.”
  • “I ship them! And them!”
  • “They hate each other, but they also fuck each other!“
  • “Hey, we try not to get this part of the gym wet so whatever you’re doing is gonna have to stop.”
  • “So do you wanna come back to my place, listen to some Dave Matthews, and talk about my work out routine?”
  • “I wonder if that stuff I hid is still here? … Nah, cops probably took it.”
  • “Do you know? Do you know for sure? Because I don’t need another incident.”
  • “If I get out of this chair, I guarantee you’ll end up in one with wheels.”
  • “Okay. I’ll admit, I’m a little threatened.”
  • “‘Sup bitches!~”
  • “Aren’t you that guy who drowned a kid? And burned down that building?”
  • “Get back to it before you learn a lesson in post-war, urban torture practices.”
  • “Remember, snitches get stitches!”
  • “Shut up, you’re high as balls!”
  • “You’re just mad because mom and dad thought you were a girl for the first year of your life.”
  • “Right, son. And speaking of crushing disappointments—”
  • “Coach tried to get me to vandalize a police station again.”
  • “Good thing I wore my Heelies.”
  • “He’s so hot but so crazy! Which makes him even MORE hot!”
  • “Come on, let me get those digits baby!”
  • “It should be illegal to be that fine!”
  • “Oh, just basic addition and subtraction. He was subtracting from my profits so I’m going to add a few extra holes in him.”
  • “This doesn’t seem like the time for polka-renditions of Ke$ha songs.”
  • “I hate it when you leave but I love watching you go.”
  • “Yeah, I’ve seen him. He’s in my scrapbook class. He cuts the eyes out of magazine photos.”
  • “Your arrest record is extensive… and amateur.”
  • “The fact that you continue to avoid indefinite incarceration is insanity AND THE FACT THAT OUR LAW ENFORCEMENT CAN’T PUT AWAY SOMEONE WITH SUCH BLATANT DISREGARD FOR CONVENTIONAL CRIMINAL FUNCTION BAFFLES THE MIND.”
  • “I want that boy to be my bride!”
  • “Pilates will do that, man, works your core.”
  • “What are we waiting for? Let’s go bro! Let’s g’bro!”
  • “Wow, you sure said that.“
  • “WOOP! WOOP! Hold it, I’m gonna have to pull you over for exceeding recommended hotness.”
  • “One time, we went camping in the woods, I just left 'em there. Nobody found them for like 5 days. I don’t even think their families cared, kinda sad, really.”
  • “So, what you’re saying is, if they disappeared, no one would notice?”
  • “Well I’ve gotta go not talk to you anymore.”
  • “I learned how to swim the old fashioned way. When I was five my dad took me out to a lake and tossed me right in the water.”
  • “I’m so happy right now! — And it’s not just ‘cause I get to see you in a bunch of different swimsuits. Okay, I lied, I’m sorry, that’s mostly the reason.”
  • “SHE’S A WITCH! PUSH HER IN THE POOL!”
  • “Hey, I know you! You helped me smuggle some stuff out of the country! How’ve you been, kid?”

anonymous asked:

supercorp?

sorry this took so long!! enjoy :’)

Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa

listen okay kara doesn’t mean to okay it’s just that sometimes she walks really fast and she doesn’t notice that the door says push and not pull but it’s not her fault that the door came off of it’s hinges okay like they should really just make sturdier doors!!

Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them

lena!! luthor!! she does it all the time when she’s reading over reports and editing speeches and pitches and it got to the point where jess noticed and bought her a notebook specifically for doodling all things related to kara!! (”um, miss luthor?” “yes, jess?” “are you sure you want to send these blueprints to the investors for the alien detection device?” “why wouldn’t i, jess?” “well-it’s just that-you kind of wrote ‘ll+kd’ in hearts all over the margins..” “you know i’d really like to check the scale on that blueprint before i send it out. can i have it back?”)

Who starts the tickle fights

is this a real question?? kara totally attacks lena at all hours of the day. lena pouts once? kara tickles her. lena tries to steal the remote? kara tickles her. lena exists?? kara tickles her.

Who starts the pillow fights

they try to avoid pillow fights tbh. it once ended with kara’s tv going through a window..the landlord wasn’t very happy and it took a very big donation from l-corp to get him to let kara stay

Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile

it switches. if kara was just out saving the day she falls asleep before lena can even get under the covers. if that happens then lena will stroke her hair until she knows that kara’s out and just revel in the thought of knowing that kara’s safe for at least the night. 

when lena has a busy day at work or a product launch it’s usually her who falls asleep first so kara will stay up and watch the worry lines from the day disappear from lena’s face :’)

Who mistakes salt for sugar

neither. lena’s pretty good in the kitchen and kara’s senses are Too Good to mistake anything like that.

Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning

lena. she’ll come stumbling in at one in the morning because “kara i literally just thought of the best invention, i’m going to build an entire prototype tonight!” and she’ll just throw something in the microwave real quick but fall asleep on the couch waiting for it. kara wakes up instantly whenever she hears the beeping and she’ll storm out of the bedroom ready to fry lena’s entire meal with her eyes until she sees lena slumped on the couch fast asleep and at that point her anger just dissipates and she’ll carry lena to bed and then wake up early and make a big breakfast since she missed dinner the night before PLEASE

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines

i want to say kara but the memes are too good so for meme continuity’s sake i’ll say lena. 

Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order

hello, you’ve reached anal fucking retentive lena luthor. please leave a message after you’ve stated the time, date, your name, reason for calling, and exact number and time she should call back!

Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies

this is tricky. lena always gets the spoon when they’re done, but only becuase kara steals spoonfuls of batter while backing them. (”kara why should you get the spoon?” “because it was my idea to make brownies?” “but you literally ate more than half the batter!” “your point?” “i should get the spoon!” “fine. but only if i get more brownie squares once they’re baked.”)

Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion

lena. she doesn’t like all of the traits she picked up from having to wear a dress at the dinner table since the age of four, but she can appreciate a nice dining set up from time to time.

Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen

kara. they’ll be sitting on the couch watching tv while kara scribbles note for any interviews she has the next day and when her brain is finally fried she’ll just grab lena’s hand and start doodling instead of using the paper in front of her. (”kara, what is that?” “it’s a meme, you know, the one with the-” “nevermind, i really don’t want to know.”

Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation

kara. jeremiah used to help her pick out cool stuff when they took her all over after she landed and if anyone loves to keep tradition alive it’s kara danvers. the magnets are the only colorful thing that lena willingly lets kara put up in the apartment so she loves to pick the craziest looking ones.

Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines

kara. she’s always been obsessed with them and to her bewilderment, lena never really did them when she was a teenager so kara loves to make sure that she gets to experience the greatness of finding out which one direction member is lena’s soulmate. (”i think harry is the most respectable member. he seems to have a knack for the whole ‘brand’ thing.” “lena you’re a total niall horan match up.” “he seems more for you, dear.” “i am a sucker for an irish accent”


send me a ship!

° ✧ GAME OF THRONES PROMPTS. PART I.

possible triggers, read/reblog with caution.

SEASON ONE :

❛ Nine years! Why have I not seen you? ❜
❛ Where the hell have you been? ❜
❛ Would you please shut up! ❜
❛ Take me to your crypt, I want to pay my respects. ❜
❛ Surely, the dead can wait. ❜
❛ Did I offend you? Sorry. ❜
❛ What the hell do you know about being a bastard? ❜
❛ I heard you the first time. ❜
❛ It’s no mercy, letting a child linger in such pain. ❜
❛ I just want to stand on top of the Wall and pissoff the edge of the world! ❜
❛ Give me a good, clean death any day. ❜
❛ What good will my sympathies do them? ❜
❛ Your absence has already been noted. ❜
❛ One word and I hit you again. ❜
❛ I’ve half a mind to leave them all behind and keep moving. ❜
❛ You’re too hard on yourself. You always have been. ❜
❛ I swear, if I weren’t your king/queen, you’d have hit me already. ❜
❛ Trust me, that’s not the worst thing. ❜
❛ Tell me we’re not speaking of this. ❜
❛ Oh, it’s unspeakable to you? ❜
❛ Look at me and tell me what you see. ❜
❛ You broke my nose, bastard! ❜
❛ I wonder how long it’d take you to hit! ❜
❛ They hate me because I'm better than they are! ❜
❛ Glad to see you’re protecting the Throne. ❜
❛ It must be strange for you, coming into this room. ❜
❛ But you just stood there and watched. ❜
❛ Is that what you tell yourself at night? ❜
❛ How could you let this happen?! ❜
❛ I received a slightly warmer welcome on my last visit. ❜
❛ Do you remember anything about what happened? ❜
❛ Why are you here? ❜
❛ I have a gift for you. ❜
❛ Will I really be able to ride? ❜
❛ Is this some kind of trick? ❜
❛ Piss on that! I wanna hit somebody! ❜
❛ You do move quietly. ❜
❛ You’re speaking of murdering a child. ❜
❛ You will dishonor yourself forever if you do this. ❜
❛ I felt something for you once, you know. ❜
❛ Does that make you feel better, or worse? ❜
❛ You wish to confess your crimes? ❜
❛ My crimes and sins are beyond counting. ❜
❛ I’m good at convincing others to do violence for me. ❜
❛ What do you think you’re doing?! ❜
❛ I have that right, same as you. ❜

SEASON TWO :

❛ We looked for you on the battlefield, but you were nowhere to be found! ❜
❛ I…I’ve been here, ruling the kingdoms! ❜
❛ I’m glad you’re not dead. ❜
❛ Knowledge is power. ❜
❛ Excuse the interruption. Carry on. ❜
❛ It’s been a… remarkable journey! ❜
❛ You brought this on yourself. ❜
❛ I’ve done nothing. ❜
❛ Do you understand we’re losing the war?! ❜
❛ Disappeared? What, in a puff of smoke?! ❜
❛ Must be hard for you- to be the disappointing child. ❜
❛ Oh, I trust them with my life- just not with yours. ❜
❛ Three victories don’t make you a conqueror. ❜
❛ I won’t need a servant to do my beheading for me! ❜
❛ I heard you suffered a terrible head wound.  ❜
❛ I am very good at keepingsecrets for my good friends. ❜
❛ Who threatened you? ❜
❛ I understand the way this game is played. ❜
❛ I’ll have you thrown into the sea! ❜
❛ I am a pirate- I’m an excellent pirate! ❜
❛ That’s a promise that always comes true. ❜
❛ You don’t know how persuasive I am. ❜
❛ You’re the mosthonest smuggler I ever met. ❜
❛ You have no need to see this. ❜
❛ I believe we know how to pour our own wine. ❜
❛ Maybe I’ll hire this cook of yours. ❜
❛ I don’t listen to filth. ❜
❛ I appreciate your loyalty. ❜
❛ I’ll not have my honour questioned by an imp! ❜
❛ I just wouldn’t feel safe with you lurking about. ❜
❛ I command you to arrest this cutthroat! ❜
❛ Do you hear me?! ❜
❛ I think there’s more to ruling than that. ❜
❛ There’s no bigger joke in the world than that. ❜
❛ What about all the dreams you had that didn't come true? ❜
❛ Your time with the wolves has made you weak. ❜
❛ You gave me away if you remember. ❜
❛ You gave me away like I was some dog you didn’t want anymore. ❜
❛ You won’t get away with this. ❜
❛ I’ve decided I don’t like riddles. ❜
❛ You want to know what side my family fights on? ❜
❛ You gonna tell me where you’re from? ❜
❛ You can’t talk to me like that! ❜
❛ That’s twice I’ve warned you. ❜
❛ I don’t want you in my tent oneminute more than necessary. ❜
❛ It would be my pleasure. ❜

SEASON THREE :

❛ You’re wearing the wrong color. ❜
❛ When I’m free, will I be free to go? ❜
❛ I'll be free to kill you. ❜
❛ From now on, you’d better kneel every time I fart. ❜
❛ You’re telling me you saw… one of them.  ❜
❛ Did I come to the right place? ❜
❛ We’ll need to find you a new cloak. ❜
❛ I need an army. ❜
❛ It’s too beautiful of a day, to argue. ❜
❛ I am wondering why you sent for me. ❜
❛ Have you grown boredprotecting me? ❜
❛ I’m sure you’ve filled your pockets. ❜
❛ I don’t loan it out to friends as a favor. ❜
❛ I don’t even know what I’m paying you now! ❜
❛ Am I enjoying it? ❜
❛ I heard how happy you were. ❜
❛ I gave you real power and authority. ❜
❛ You brought a whore into my bed. ❜
❛ Why does everyone assume I want something? ❜
❛ A little bloody gratitude would be a start. ❜
❛ So tell me what you want. ❜
❛ I want what is mine by right. ❜
❛ The next whore I catch in your bed, I’ll hang. ❜
❛ I’m not your enemy. ❜
❛ I’ve never seen anything like it. ❜
❛ Even the bravest men fear death. ❜
❛ Tell the good master there is no need. ❜
❛ Here, I’m done with you. ❜
❛ How many do you have to sell? ❜
❛ We don’t get to choose who we love. ❜
❛ I only want to know what that means. ❜
❛ Are you frightened, child? ❜
❛ Tell us the truth. No harm will come to you. ❜
❛ I have traitor’s blood. ❜
❛ Please don’t make me say anymore. ❜
❛ Please, don’t stop the wedding. ❜
❛ That doesn’t mean they’re not worth helping. ❜
❛ I have no doubtyou will prove equal to this challenge. ❜
❛ This is the safest place in the city. ❜
❛ Any advice for me, on my new position? ❜
❛ How long will you be gone? ❜
❛ You don’t have the strength. It would kill you. ❜
❛ There is another way, a better way. ❜
❛ The blood of my enemies, not the blood of innocents. ❜
❛ What’re you doing, leading a mob of peasants? ❜
❛ I should have killed you! ❜

halsey sentence meme. 
from hopeless fountain kingdom.
part one.              (   part two.   )

the prologue. 

  • civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
  • i am a child of a money hungry, prideful country.
  • hands so bloody, it tastes like honey. 
  • i’m finding it hard to leave.

100 letters.

  • how can midas put his hands on me again?
  • he said ‘ one day I’d realize why I don’t have any friends. ’
  • i find myself alone at night, unless i’m having sex.
  • but i don’t let him touch me anymore.
  • i’m not something to butter up and taste when you get bored.
  • i have spent too many nights on dirty bathroom floors to find some peace and quiet right behind a wooden door.
  • he said,  ‘ please don’t go away. ’
  • i said,  ‘ it’s too late. ’
  • i can’t stop thinking that i can’t stop thinking that i almost gave you everything.
  • and now the whole thing’s finished and i can’t stop wishing that i never gave you anything.
  • you wrote one hundred letters just for me.
  • i’m constantly reminded of the time i was nineteen.

eyes closed.

  • i know where to lay.
  • i know what to say.
  • it’s all the same.
  • i know how to play.
  • i know this game; it’s all the same.
  • now if i keep my eyes closed, he looks just like you.
  • he’ll never stay; they never do.
  • now if i keep my eyes closed, he feels just like you.
  • you’ve been replaced.
  • i’m face to face with someone new.
  • would’ve gave it all for you, cared for you.
  • tell me where i went wrong. 
  • would’ve trade it all for you, there for you. 
  • so tell me how to move on.
  • my lover, my liar.
  • they don’t realize i’m thinking about you.
  • it’s nothing new, it’s nothing new.

heaven in hiding.

  • can you hear my heartbeat fucking kickin’?
  • your eyes light up ‘cause you best believe that i got something on my sleeve.
  • i walk my talk, no time for wishful thinking.
  • i push up on my toes, you call me ‘ sweet thing. ’
  • you thought you were the boss tonight.
  • i can put up one good fight.
  • i flip the script like i can take a beating.
  • you surrender to the touch.
  • i can put on a show. 
  • don’t you see what you’re finding?
  • this is heaven in hiding.
  • when you start to look at me, a physical fatality.
  • you surrender to the heat.
  • you’ll know.
  • i don’t have no time for conversation.
  • this ain’t what you usually do.
  • a girl like me is new for you.
  • i can tell you mean it ‘cause you’re shaking.
  • i’m heaven in hiding.

alone.

  • he tried to phone me, but i never have time.
  • he said that i never listen, but i don’t even try.
  • i got a new place in cali, but i’m gone every night.
  • i fill it with strangers so they keep ‘em alive.
  • she said she told you she knows me, but the face isn’t right.
  • she asked if i recognized her, and i told her i might.
  • everywhere i go, i got a million different people tryna’ kick it.
  • i’m still alone in my mind.
  • i know you’re dying to meet me.
  • as soon as you meet me, you’ll wish that you never did.
  • i stayed a night out in paris where they don’t know my name.
  • i got into some trouble with that drink in my veins.
  • i got a problem with parties ‘cause it’s loud in my brain.
  • i can never say sorry ‘cause i won’t take the blame.
  • i know i always go missing, and you’re lying awake.
  • if you ask why i’m distant, oh i’m running away.
  • i know you wanna slip under my armor. 

now or never. 

  • i don’t wanna fight right now.
  • you always right.
  • now i know i need you ‘round with me.
  • nobody waiting ’round with me.
  • got a whole lot of love, but you don’t wanna spread it ‘round with me.
  • never pick up, never call me.
  • you know we’re running out of time.
  • never pick up when you want me.
  • now i’ve gotta draw a line.
  • i need to know you’re mine.
  • i’ve done enough talking.
  • we done enough talking.
  • baby, gonna love me now or never.
  • i want you to hold me down forever.
  • you know i wanna keep you around forever.
  • i want you to love me now or never.
  • i’m turning off the light right now.
  • i’m calling it a night right now.
  • we’ve been through it all.
  • i need you to make your mind up. 
  • don’t take no more time up. 
  • you gotta decide something.

sorry.

  • i’ve missed your calls for months it seems.
  • don’t realize how mean i can be.
  • i can sometimes treat the people i love like jewelry.
  • i can change my mind each day.
  • i didn’t mean to try you on.
  • i still know your birthday, and your mother’s favorite song.
  • i’m sorry to my unknown lover.
  • sorry that i can’t believe anybody ever starts to fall in love with me.
  • sorry i could be so blind.
  • didn’t mean to leave you, and all the things we had behind.
  • i run away when things are good.
  • so it seems i broke your heart.
  • my ignorance has struck again.
  • i failed to see it from the start and tore you open ‘til the end.
  • someone will love you.
  • someone will love you, but someone isn’t me.

good mourning.

  • they told me once, ‘ there’s a place where love conquers all. ’
  • i haven’t found it yet, but i’m still searching.
  • all i know is a hopeless place that flows with the blood of my kin.
  • perhaps hopeless isn’t a place, nothing but a state of mind.
  • they told me once, ’ don’t trust the moon, she’s always changing. ’
  • the shores bend and break for her.
  • she begs to be loved.
  • nothing is here as it seems.
  • sun is coming up.

(pls forgive me, i’m not a photo editor. i just wanted ot7)

Hey, everyone! I recently hit 100 followers! I’ve had this blog since January and even though I had a rough start and I wanted to leave a few times, I’m very glad I pushed through. I wanted to save a follow forever for another milestone and just do a drabble game for this one but there are so many amazing blogs a wanted to thank. I really appreciate every single one of you guys. This blog has been a safe haven for me, and I can’t imagine how my life would be without it. I’ve felt much more loved on this blog in the short time I’ve had it than on my previous blog, which I had for 2 and half years before I left. Even though this blog may be considered ‘small’ to some people (not that it matters to me), I still feel as if I genuinely matter to all of you, and I can’t thank you enough. I will never be able to fully express my gratitude. I really do care about all of you. All the users that show up under my followers are my friends, and I care about each one of you so much. Thank you all so much for all that you’ve done for me. I’m beyond grateful.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

can you explain why being an artist on tumblr is difficult? Because I really want to open my own art blog but I'm scared ;;, lov you

It’s been 1 year now that I post my drawings and I noticed some things so I’ll try to explain! Also I will only talk about the kpop fandom!

  • the lack of reblogs

This is the worst, and this mainly affects writers and fanartists (but writers are the most affected by this). People love to like, but they dislike to reblog, and that’s why new artists can work very very hard but never gets attention.

For example, a drawing can have 20 likes. If 3 people reblog it the drawing can gain +50 notes or even more, and just thanks to 3 reblogs. Only 3 reblogs. Reblogging means sharing! By reblogging, the artist gets more attention, meaning more people enjoying their drawings, meaning more confidence for the artist and more drawings etc… Without reblogs it’s impossible for the artists/writers to evolve. So they stop doing what they love and it’s really really sad.

I think the reason why people don’t like to reblog is because of the “blog aesthetic”. If I take a fic as an example, some people might think that this long paragraph isn’t going to look good on their blog. So they just like it. It’s the same for drawings. If the drawings doesnt fit the theme or the aesthetic of the blog they wont reblog it. That’s why I think editors are less affected by this (doesn’t mean that they aren’t affected by this at all). Because edits are pics/gifs of the boys, it’s not words or a drawings. 

  • tumblr users are picky

Before reblogging or liking something they need to enjoy the content. And damn boy thats even more difficult. So:

 It needs to be beautiful ofc, aesthetic is always great, it can be funny but not too weird or they wont reblog it but weird memes are ok. Tumblr users love ships, but you need to draw their ships like THEY want or they will report you for “offensive content: bich im sorry but when jikook have a date, jimin takes a BLACK COFFEE NOT A CAPPUCCINO, get it rite”. Realistic drawings are the best but if an eye is too much on the left, and by too much I mean 1 millimeter then it’s good for trash. Give them the aus: astronaut!jimin au, dora the explorer!yoongi au, potatowolf!jungkook etc… AND OFC DONT DO SOMETHING TOO ORIGINAL, THEY WONT LIKE IT.

Like do you see how  its hard to produce something that people will like? At the end of the day a majority of artists wont do something that they like. Mix that with the lack of reblog and it’s harder than fire choreography.

There’s also other reasons, like the lack of networks for fanarts. or because there’s a lack of help between artists (even if it’s getting way better now) or the fact that tags aren’t tags anymore and you can tag a “jimin smut” under a screenshot of a funny twitter post about Yoongi. 

If you want to begin an art blog, do it, and dont give up, it’s not because you’re not good, it’s because sometimes tumblr sucks. 

Yep, there’s a lot of problems who can’t really be solved. So if you see a fanart that you like, maybe try to reblog it. It won’t change your life, for sure, but it might change the life of the artist.

anonymous asked:

well I was going to ask for (20) for Zarry but if it doesn't work out any pairing of your choice would be great!

things you said I wasn’t meant to hear

“Haz, I can’t find my keys.” Zayn checks his pockets, his bag, under a few sofa cushions.

Harry pops in from around the corner. He jingles the keys in his hands with a big grin on his face. “I found them.”

“Thanks, babes.” He takes the keys and presses a kiss to his cheek. “You’re so good at finding my shit, dunno why I bother looking.”

Harry shrugs. “A simple Accio always gets the job done.”

Zayn quirks an eyebrow at him. “I don’t… understand what that means.”

“Family joke,” Harry says with a wave of his hand.

He says that a lot, he’s got quite the weird family. Makes sense, Harry’s quite the weird lad. He keeps a toaster in their bedroom and gets a little bewildered by escalators and says things like Accio. And any time he catches Zayn lifting an eyebrow at him, he chuckles and calls it a family thing.

It’s one of the reasons Zayn’s a little nervous to meet them. Not that he’d admit it.

Keep reading

lilykisses  asked:

for the fic title meme: You Found The Pieces Left of Me (Viktor/Yuuri)

Katsuki Yuuri can time travel.

He can’t time travel far. Just blips, ten minutes forward and ten minutes back. It’s useful, or it was before he realized that being a perfectionist with the ability to time travel means sometimes his free skate is worse on the fifth try than it was on the first, and that he’ll never be able to get that feeling back, no matter if he gives himself a sixth try or a thirtieth.

Viktor Nikiforov is a skater from the fifties. He was landing a triple flip before most people even knew it existed. Yuuri has seen the grainy videos, squeezed his hands painfully into his knees as he watched decades old choreography, step sequences. How can something skated so long ago still make him cry?

When he was younger, Yuuri had even known that he should stop the strange obsession– reading the other man’s biography, watching his old skating videos and his televised performances, so many things, heavy with dust, that he stored in his heart. How can you love someone who you’ve never met– who’s been dead for years, who’s never breathed at the same time as you? You can’t. But he traces his fingers over old, crumbling newspapers anyway, squeezes his eyes tight and wonders what Viktor would be like, in the flesh, the things he would say if Yuuri could just ask.

Yuuri can jump back ten minutes. Usually nothing more. Maybe if he practiced…

The farthest he gets is thirty minutes. It’s enough to make sure he doesn’t miss a train. It will never be enough to reach Viktor Nikiforov, who disappeared one day in April of 1963 and was never seen again.

“You know,” the man sitting across from him on the train says one morning, “I can tell that you’re jumping.”

“Sorry?” Yuuri hums. He looks up, and his stomach drops. “Viktor?” He breathes, before he can stop himself. The other man stills.

“You know who I am?”

“Sorry,” Yuuri says with a duck of his head. “Sorry, you just look like– someone I know.” Someone Yuuri doesn’t know. Someone he will never know.

“Well,” the other man says with a shrug, “I am Viktor. Viktor Nikiforov. And I’ve never seen anyone jump like you.” At the glazed look in Yuuri’s eyes, he sweeps the empty train with a blue gaze and leans in. “Time travel, Yuuri. I’m talking about time travel– jumping in time.”

“You’re crazy,” Yuuri bursts, panicked. Five minutes should do the trick. Five minutes back, and he can board a different train car, stay away from whoever this is, whatever fate has decided to throw at him.

“Don’t!” Viktor begs, and snags his wrist. “I’m trapped here. I was originally from the sixties– I got careless. First I was jumping five years, then ten, then twenty, before I returned to my own life. Fifty years,” he laughs hollowly, “and now I can’t jump back. I’ve missed my whole life. But you can help me.”

“I can only jump 30 minutes,” Yuuri whispers, shamed and terrified and confused. “You–I can’t help you get your life back. I’m sorry, Viktor.”

“No,” Viktor says, and takes his hand. “You’re the one I need. You jump so much, Yuuri, everyday. I’ve seen you, the last week. I know. At best I could jump once every six months. But now it’s been six months, and I can’t… I can’t.” 

Viktor’s whole life has been taken from him. He’s missed years and years. Now, in the future, there’s just pieces of him strewn about, wisps of memories.

“I do,” Yuuri realizes, “I want to help you.” Even if he isn’t confident that he can.

It’s a long year, with odd training, but at the end of it, he comes to Viktor.

“Can you jump?”

“I feel it,” the Russian admits, “I can time travel again.”

“That’s wonderful,” Yuuri tries to say, but instead it just comes out as a cut off warble, a note that sends his heart careening. “You should– jump, then.”

Should I?

Viktor Nikiforov disappeared one morning in 1963, and was never seen again.

Viktor Katsuki-Nikiforov, on the other hand, appeared in the spring of 2013, and never looked back.

Ed Sheeran sentence starters
  • "I saw a shooting star and thought of you."
  • "You were lying next to me, I looked across and fell in love."
  • "If you wanna put this on me, that’s fine, I never blamed you for anything at all."
  • "The world looks better through your eyes."
  • "It's only been one night of love and maybe that is not enough."
  • "If I fall for you, would you fall too?"
  • "It's not a homeless life for me, it's just I'm home less than I'd like to be."
  • "I haven't slept for the past week, two hours ain't enough for me."
  • "I'm drunk off last nights whisky and coke."
  • "You can stay with me forever or you could stay with me for now."
  • "Outside the day is up and calling, but I don't have to be so, please go back to sleep."
  • "Never been better since all the therapy."
  • "And you know, if I let you go, I'll still keep you safe."
  • "You are the one I fall asleep with but never wake up to."
  • "The worst things in life come free to us."
  • "I wanna be drunk when I wake up on the right side of the wrong bed."
  • "What didn't kill me, it never made me stronger at all."
  • "I know I'll never hold you like I used to."
  • "I'll be drunk again to feel a little love."
  • "I know you'll never love me like you used to."
  • "I found your hair band on my bedroom floor, the only evidence that you've been here before."
  • "I don't drink like everybody else, I do it to forget things about myself."
  • "There's no chance that we'll work it out."
  • "I said that's fine, but you're the only one that knows I lied."
  • "Everybody said we'd be together forever."
  • "Everything's great and everything's sure, but you live in your halls and I live in a tour bus."
  • "Pain is only relevant if it still hurts."
  • "If I was gonna go somewhere, I'd be there by now."
  • "I should ink my skin with your name."
  • "I should run you a hot bath and fill it up with bubbles."
  • "You should never cut your hair 'cause I love the way you flick it off your shoulder."
  • "You will never know just how beautiful you are to me."
  • "Maybe you're hoping for a fairy tale, too."
  • "This is the start of something beautiful."
  • "And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm."
  • "I'm out of touch, I'm out of love."
  • "I think I love you better now."
  • "Playing a different show every night in front of a new crowd."
  • "Let me sing and do my thing and move to greener pastures."
  • "You need me, man, I don’t need you."
  • "Never be anything but a singer-songwriter, yeah."
  • "People think that I’m bound to blow up."
  • "I haven’t got a house, plus I live on a couch."
  • "They say I’m up and coming like I'm fucking in an elevator."
  • "Settle down with me, and I'll be your safety, you'll be my lady."
  • "I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet."
  • "Give me love like her, 'cause lately I've been waking up alone."
  • "All I want is the taste that your lips allow."
  • "Give me love like never before, 'cause lately I've been craving more."
  • "It's been a while but I still feel the same... maybe I should let you go."
  • "Another love that's gone to waste."
  • "If I kissed you, will your mouth read this truth?"
  • "Darling, how I miss you."
  • "You made me scream, but then I made you cry."
  • "Maybe you should learn to love her like the way you wanna be loved."
  • "I never told her that I liked the way she dances slightly out of time and pretends she knows the words to a song she's never heard."
  • "You’re not her, though I try to see you differently."
  • "I will try to find another one who suited me as well as her."
  • "We never even tried, we never even talked, we never even thought in the long run."
  • "Whenever it was painful, whenever I was away, I’d miss you."
  • "I didn't mean to break your heart."
  • "Everybody falls apart sometimes."
  • "I know you've found another one, but won't you just hold me tonight."
  • "They don't know we don't speak anymore."
  • "I will stop trying to fall in love again... it never works out anyway."
  • "But I am not anything like I was."
  • "I don't wanna lose a lover and friend in one night if that's alright."
  • "I shouldn't have fucked with your mind and your life too many times."
  • "I never meant to sleep around, I was just lonely."
  • "When I see my future, it is with you."
  • "We're not friends, nor have we ever been."
  • "If they find out, will it all go wrong?"
  • "We're not friends, we could be anything."
  • "Friends don't treat me like you do."
  • "Tell me that you turned down the man who asked for your hand 'cause you're waiting for me."
  • "I know, you're gonna be away a while, but I've got no plans at all to leave."
  • "Just promise me, you'll never leave again."
  • "Just promise me, you'll always be a friend."
  • "Everything changes, but we'll be strangers if we see this through."
  • "I've been sat with you for most of the night, ignoring everybody here."
  • "Don't you worry if I disappear."
  • "I'm not really looking for another mistake."
  • "I was never looking for a friend."
  • "Maybe you could swing by my room around ten, baby, bring a lemon and a bottle of gin."
  • "Baby, if you wanted me then you should've just said."
  • "Maybe we'll go together and just figure it out."
  • "Trust and respect is what we do this for."
  • "You didn't need to take him to bed that's all."
  • "I never saw him as a threat until you disappeared with him to have sex of course."
  • "It's not like we were both on tour, we were staying on the same fucking hotel floor."
  • "I wasn't looking for a promise or commitment, but it was never just fun and I thought you were different."
  • "This is not the way you realize what you wanted."
  • "It's a bit too much, too late if I'm honest."
  • "Getting high as two kites when we needed to breathe."
  • "I'd disappear, you'd call me selfish, I understand but I can't help it."
  • "So we can either deal with the pain and wait to get on a plane."
  • "You should go, 'cause I ain't ever coming home."
  • "I've been livin' on the road, but then again you should know."
  • "You won't ever be alone... wait for me to come home."
  • "Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul."
  • "When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me."
  • "How'd I get so faded?"
  • "I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream."
  • "I've been looking for a lover, thought I'd find her in a bottle."
  • "I'll be feeling this tomorrow."
  • "You look so wonderful in your dress, I love your hair like that."
  • "We are surrounded by all of these lies and people who talk too much."
  • "You got the kind of look in your eyes as if no one knows anything but us."
  • "All that you are is all that I'll ever need."
  • "Just don’t expect me back this evening."
  • "I love him from my skin to my bones but I don’t wanna live in his home."
  • "I was raised to keep quiet."
  • "I don't wanna hate you."
  • "I kind of knew you liked the dude from private school."
  • "I knew he had his eyes on you."
  • "He's not the right guy for you."
  • "Don't hate me 'cause I write the truth."
  • "I would never lie to you but it was never fine to lose you."
  • "I'm just disgusted with the skeletons you sleep with in your closet."
  • "Fact is you're mad at me because I backtrack so casually."
  • "You're practically my family, if we married then I'll guess you'd have to be."
  • "Tragically our love just lost the will to live, but would I kill to give it one more shot? I think not."
  • "I don't love you, baby, I don't need you... I don't want you anymore."
  • "I'm not cut out for life on the road 'cause I didn't know I'd miss you this much."
  • "I guess I'm not the man that you need."
  • "Ever since you went to uni, I've been sofa surfing with a rucksack full of less cash and I guess that could get bad."
  • "When I broke the industry, that's when I broke your heart."
  • "I was supposed to chart and celebrate, but good things are over fast."
  • "I tend to turn you off and switch on my professional features, then I turn the music off and all I'm left with is to pick up my personal pieces."
  • "Success is nothing if you have no one left to share it with."
  • "I know you have a day job, but mine is 24/7."
  • "I still love you and I need you by my side if I could."
  • "The irony is if my career and music didn't exist, in 6 years, you'd probably be my wife with a kid."
  • "I'll die from a thrill, go down in history as just a wasted talent."
  • "Eventually I'll be fine, I know that it was never meant to be."
  • "These things happen for a reason and you can't change shit."
  • "Take my apology, I'm sorry for the honesty, but I had to get this off my chest."
  • "I will be loving you 'til we're 70."
  • "People fall in love in mysterious ways."
  • "I fall in love with you every single day."
  • "For four years I never had a place to stay."
  • "At 16 years old, I moved out of my home."
  • "I tattooed the lyrics onto my arm."
  • "I'll hold ya and you'll think of him."
  • "I'll never trust you again, you can just be a friend."
  • "If we should die tonight, then we should all die together."
Still Took Your Breath Away

Requested: “idk if youve done something like this but can you do a first date with Shawn? like going to his place and making dinner then like walking out on the streets or something? :)”

You watched a small waisted girl with a high ponytail, walk into a small dance studio that was hidden behind other small shops on this obscure little road Shawn drove down. You were awfully awkward and you window shopped, people watched, and counted road signs, hoping it would inspire you to say something cute, something to start a conversation with the boy driving. First dates were exciting in your opinion, but obviously also totally nerve wracking. Not only had you spent hours trying to decide what to wear, but you remembered acting out conversations with your mom, your best friend, your roommate, everyone you could think of basically. They were all pitching in to help you have a good first date.

“And so that way if asks you about the stuff you like, he’ll kinda already have an idea, making it easier for you to explain! I know, I’m a genius!” You distinctly remember your best friend saying this to you the night before your date, when you couldn’t decide what outfit you were going to wear. She suggested you wear your favorite band t-shirt so that way, he knew what kind of music you liked. You considered it for a small second but you just ended up shaking your head and showing her another cute blouse you liked. She had shrugged her shoulders saying, “I guess that’s cute too.”

Fast forward past the multiples times you had to do and redo your eyeliner, and here you were sitting in the passenger seat of his Jeep, feeling like a princess simply because of the fact that he was driving you anywhere. There was a quiet singing voice echoing throughout the car, and you listened carefully trying to figure out exactly which Chance The Rapper song he was playing.

“Can I turn up the music?” You asked politely hoping he wouldn’t take it the wrong way, you didn’t want him thinking you weren’t interested in taking.

“Yeah of course, you like this song?” He turned his head away from the road for a split second to look at you, and his eyes met yours, capturing your attention the way fireworks would.

“Yeah. It’s catchy.” You say, looking away shyly, hiding your blushing cheeks.

The rest of the ride was filled with laughter and singing, and you went from feeling nervous, to excited. You tried to hold yourself together whenever he complimented you about something, and you’ll never forget the way he said the words “You’re beautiful!” Or, “I think you’re hilarious, seriously! Like one of the funniest girls I’ve met!”

You felt like you could be yourself, and the way he spoke made you feel as though you weren’t being judged. He talked and talked, and laughed, only to finish by saying, “Okay, your turn!” And then you’d go off, talking about whatever the topic was at the moment, and your mouth went dry, and your jaw hurt from smiling. This was the only kind of pain that you believed was good. Almost as good as that feeling of your heart jumping up and down, whenever you heard him say your name.

You finally reached your destination, his apartment, and he asked you to stay seated in the car. You were a bit confused, but you listened to him as you watched him get out. 30 seconds later, he was opening your car door for you. He literally asked you to stay in the car just so he could open your door. Who does that?

“I’ve always wanted to do that, but any other girl I’ve had in my car, whether we’re on a date or not, they all get out way before I can even reach their door!” His cheeks were as red as yours, and you weren’t sure what to say.

“Well.. Thank you.” Was all you could think to get out, before he was leading you into the apartment building. You sort of adored the location his apartment complex was in, because it was a little hidden, giving you less a chance to be mobbed by fans, or seen by paparazzi. Shawn’s fame scared you a bit, but of course that didn’t stop you from liking him. He was more than the lights, and the screaming girls. He was a gentleman who opened your car door.

“I’m pretty sure that somewhere in our text conversations, you said you liked pizza, so I hope you don’t mind making some pizza for dinner.” Shawn threw his keys across the room on the couch and then headed towards the kitchen area, opening the refrigerator.

“I love pizza! Especially when I can make it myself.” You said with excitement in your voice, you stood on your tip toes not knowing what to do with yourself. Should you start opening cabinets and starting looking for the ingredients and help get everything ready? Or was that an invasion of privacy somehow? You figured you would just be honest and so you asked him, “Where are the ingredients and everything else we need?” And then he was showing you around the small cooking area, and where everything was. Soon enough your fingers were covered in herbs, and dough, and there were ten different types of cheeses laid out across the table.

“Are you a mozzarella, or cheddar type of person?” Shawn asked reaching for one of the cheeses.

“That’s a good question. I like both, but I really love mozzarella.”

“You love it, eh?” Shawn raised his eyebrows, stuck his hand in the shredded mozzarella cheese bag and took some out, flicking it at you.

“Hey!” You waved your hand around, trying to dodge the cheese but you ended up laughing instead, and then picking up the pieces and eating them.

“And what about you? What kind of cheese do you like?” You asked with a grin across your face.

“I’m pretty fond of mozzarella myself.” He was smiling at you, right at you, his eyes mesmerizing you once again and you felt silly for getting so animated about cheese, and making pizza.

“Then you won’t mind if I do this?!” You said before flicking some cheese at his face the way he did to you. He just laughed and shook his head, picking pieces out of his hair. The rest of the evening went pretty smoothly. Shawn teased you for having a smaller pizza than him, but you teased him about his burnt edges. You had a slice of his and he had a slice of yours, and you felt like the luckiest girl in the world to be sharing pizza with Shawn Mendes. It was dumb, but it meant something to you. Later on, you watched a movie that you don’t even remember the name of, because you were too busy laughing at your phone with Shawn. The whole movie basically ended up being you and Shawn showing each other memes the whole time. After the movie ended you helped Shawn clean the kitchen a bit and he walked you outside to the car to bring you home.

“I want to show you something!” Shawn said as he walked in the opposite direction of where his car was. You just smiled and followed him.

“Check this out!” After three minutes of walking you reached the end of the sidewalk, at the back of the apartment complex, there was a cute little river with a small waterfall. It wasn’t anything too beautiful but for some reason it still took your breath away. It was probably Shawn, or so you thought. He made it so that everything took your breath away, even pizza and dumb memes.

“This is really nice.” You said quietly staring out at the water. The moonlight reflected off it giving it a radiant glow. You felt like you were in some romantic movie where everything goes perfectly on the first date. The thing is, everything did go perfectly, making it seem so unrealistic. You and Shawn ended up talking by the waterfall for another ten minutes, about life, school, music, family and everything in between. There a came a point where there was a lull in the conversation, and Shawn looked at you with his puppy eyes, and he licked his lips, moving his feet towards yours. You felt pretty confident that he wanted to kiss you, and as much as you wanted to kiss him too, you just weren’t ready yet. You knew the setting was perfect, and the whole date itself went well, but you barely knew Shawn. You learned so much about him tonight, yet you still barely knew him. So you backed away, and changed the subject of the conversation, walking towards the car away from the romantic scene at the waterfall. Shawn said nothing about kissing at all, and he followed you, walking right by your side.

“We should do this again some time.. If you want, of course.” Shawn said looking at the ground a small smile forming on his face.

“Yeah, I’d love to.” You replied back, moving a little closer to him. You really did like him, you just wanted to make sure it was real. You hated that kissing was always so easily done nowadays, with no meaning whatsoever. You wanted it to be more special than that. And so instead you tried something a little more innocent, and you reached for his hand intertwining his fingers with yours. Palm to palm, his hand felt warm and soft, and it fit yours perfectly. He must’ve felt the same because soon enough, his cheeks were a pretty pink and he was then squeezing your hand, smiling at the ground.

anonymous asked:

Hihi, glow in the dark stars anon here, once again ^^. I've noticed you wanted requests so I'm gonna send you one! How about an MC who is very innocent and sweet but as soon as their older brother comes into town, they become a fowl-mouthed memer and is constantly making jokes, and how would the RFA + V + Saeran react to such events. Sorry if it doesn't make sense;; (by the way how was your day? Oh, and keep up the good work my dude !!) <333

hey stars anon!(that’s your nickname now bc i love ya~)  my dude, you are like, my favorite anon?? you come up with great ideas wowie wow!! this is me but with my pals..im an only child;;

my day - well yesterday - was good. busy, but good! i’m finally getting over this weird cold. how was yours? ^^ and thank you, again! (/◔ ◡ ◔)/


zen

  • mc told him their brother was coming to town all excitedly and that they wanted zen to meet him. he agreed. family is important to him! ..yes im still salty about his family¬_¬
  • also this is like, the first time he’s gonna meet mc’s family its time to Impress
  • so they go, and zen really doesn’t know what he’s expecting besides hoping their family likes him 
  • their parents were kind of how he thought - nice and sweet, asking him questions
  • and then their brother came 
  • “mc!” their brother called. he was answered with a hug from them aw sweet not for long, zenny
  • “hey you nerd!” mc started, and then it pretty much went from there 
  • zen wasn’t really surprised at all the inside jokes they had, but there was? so many?? he had never seen mc make this many jokes
  • also did mc just say ‘fuck’? he was pretty sure he never heard them say ‘damn’ and now they upgraded to all this??
  • oh well, their brother liked him 
  • when they left, he got kind of pouty 
  • babeeee do you feel uncomfortable around me?” “what do you mean?”
  • “you don’t curse and joke that much with me, and you can, you know!” 
  • he just wants to have as many inside jokes   

yoosung

  • they were meeting up with mc’s brother for lunch!
  • he wasn’t going to be in town long, but mc was still so excited
  • yoosung thought they looked so cute all excited and now he is too
  • they got to the restaurant first and waited 
  • mc’s brother found them at the table and shook yoosung’s hand before hugging mc
  • “well now you have to tell me everything about your boyfriend, my dear sibling. and if i have to send him back to hell.”
  • *cue a slightly scared yoosung*
  • “i’ll tell you he’s better than that shithead you dated last year.” 
  • *cue a surprised yoosung now*
  • who are you and what have you done to my mc?
  • things continued this way, and they even started laughing at memes together
  • they made one of their brother’s old girlfriend…ok that one was funny
  • after lunch, yoosung kind of observes them for a while 
  • they stumble while walking once and mutter, “oh dang-”
  • mc when your brother accidentally kicked you under the table, you said something much worse 
  • oh well, he’s happy he got to see a new side of mc

jaehee

  • their brother dropped by the cafe right after they closed, but of course they let him in
  • jaehee made him a cup and he said it was the best coffee he’s tasted
  • “is your tea this hot too?” he asked
  • she was about to answer seriously, but mc knew better 
  • “it sure as hell is, and i have so many stories to tell you”
  • jaehee’s like: …how did we get from tea to stories
  • and then mc starts telling him about all the shit i apparently put the cafe through stories of customers and stuff
  • it was the same stories mc and her told everyone, but mc added more emphasis and..curse words in this retelling
  • if jaehee could become her question mark emoji, she would right then
  • at one point, mc told her to come sit with them 
  • so she did, sitting next to mc
  • “there’s one last thing I haven’t told you, dear brother.” they say 
  • but before they continue, they kiss jaehee’s cheek. “meet my girlfriend”
  • on the inside, jaehee was yelling because girlfriend!! but also cause she thought he knew– 
  • their brother paused for a minute before whispering, “et tu, brute?” 
  • and that’s how mc and jaehee found out their brother is also gay wow 

jumin

  • he invited their brother to the penthouse
  • he brought out the fancy wine, elizabeth was on her best behavior, things were good
  • and mc’s brother was nice and seemed to like him 
  • so all in all, the evening went well
  • except that jumin spent almost half of the evening being confused
  • because first off, when did mc get such a foul mouth what the he ck 
  • and second, what is a ‘meme’? 
  • “woah, wait. your boyfriend doesn’t know what a meme is, mc? hm…i dunno if i like him”
  • “calm your tits, brother. memes aren’t everything.” are u sure, mc?
  •  jumin is lowkey like ‘how can he calm his tits wtf’
  • anyways, mc’s brother assures that he was kidding and that he actually really likes jumin
  • who’s the real winner now
  • when their brother left, mc went back to being the innocent mc he knew
  • “…my love?” “yes, jumin?” “what just happened?”
  • he’ll get used to it

707 / luciel / saeyoung

  • when they told him their brother was in town, he yelled for a little bit
  • how is this dork gonna impress mc’s family?
  • decides he needs to clean the bunker 
  • amazingly, he does it without vanderwood’s help a miracle
  • almost puts on a suit, but mc stops him
  • when their brother came over, mc’s attitude completely changes
  • and saeyoung just observes them for a while and realizes what he has to do
  • it’s literally just channel the 707 attitude. which he is an expert in doing
  • and now…let the memes begin
  • oh, mc’s brother likes this guy
  • it goes better than expected. they’re practically best friends now 
  • the only thing is, saeyoung doesn’t curse that much
  • so after their brother leaves, he’s like “mc, i didn’t know you had such a potty mouth!” 
  • watch them feign innocence for a bit
  • it doesn’t work, but everyone’s still happy

v / jihyun

  • came over to mc’s apartment to find their brother with them
  • it was a surprise
  • “oh, nice to meet you!”. they all sit and chat
  • v could’ve sworn he heard mc threaten their brother not to make any blind jokes
  • something along the lines of  “make one blind joke and so help me, i will fucking murder you”
  • v feels like he should be scared
  • there are no blind jokes, but there are a lot of memes
  • which he also doesn’t understand that well, but he catches on faster than jumin
  • “mc, I need to teach your boyfriend the art of memes.” 
  • ooh now v is really scared
  • but it goes better than he expected
  • his favorite ones are now the bee movie memes and ‘bees?’
  • he tried it once with the whole rfa around, like jumin asked when the next party date was and he just looked at him and went: “bees?”
  • mc was so proud. jumin felt betrayed. saeyoung lost his shit.
  • they got that on video and when they showed their brother: “mc, marry this man right now”

saeran 

  • they met at mc’s work
  • saeran was picking them up and they ran into mc’s brother
  • “oh! i didn’t know you were back in town!” “yeah. surprise!!”
  • saeran is like lowkey scared at first
  • but then the Truth Is Revealed
  • and now he almost hates himself
  • why is he always stuck with the memers
  • even mc got pulled into this, his one saving grace
  • though he found it kinda hot when they cursed, he just wanted to kiss them
  • heyy bringing back my saeran is ace headcanon haha no smut for you
  • anyways, though saeran doesn’t like memes, he understands them and can joke with mc’s brother
  • mc’s brother likes him
  • when he leaves, saeran is so glad they’re back to the mc he knows more
  • except like, hey, maybe curse more
  • they end up doing so when they figure out they get more kisses that way

anonymous asked:

How are you today? I'm a lint time follower of yours and your amazing,could you do 17 with Jeff?

Awww you’re so sweet! I’m basically average today, how are you hunny?

17: “Are you upset with me?”

You put your earphones in before you walked out of class, grateful that the day was over and you finally got to go home.

It was nearing exam week and you were just exhausted from school, and no amount of afternoon naps or weekend sleep ins seemed to cure it.

You were distracted with choosing a song as you stepped out of the door, and you let out a little yelp when you walked right into someone. You were relieved once you looked up to find it was only your boyfriend Jeff, and you pulled out your earphones to greet him.

“Hey, Jeff, I-”

“Are you upset with me?”

“What?” You chuckled, “why on earth would you think that?”

“You’ve barely spoken to me all week. We haven’t been on a date, you haven’t sat with me at lunch… you’ve only sent me one meme in the last three days…”

“Baby, I’m sorry. I’m not upset with you at all, I’m just super stressed with school stuff right now- I don’t have a guardian angel Clay to help me through all this, ya know,”

“I can help you through it… I mean, not really, but I can cuddle.”

You chuckled at him. You really did love Jeff- he was so sweet and sensitive. He took care of you, even when you spent a week basically ignoring him… he was the greatest thing you had ever been able to call yours.

“Well,” you grinned, “why don’t we go back to mine and we can cuddle while I study, and then maybe if you’re lucky after that we can study” you winked at him and made your way to his car.

How to pick a BTS Bias

It’s rather simple….you don’t

it’s just not possible….

I MEAN 

LOOK AT NAMJOON???

Originally posted by ksjknj

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE HIM?

LOOK AT THOSE DIMPLES!!

Originally posted by aestheticpinkjoon

THEY SLAY MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE!!!

AND NOT ONLY IS HE ATTRACTIVE! 

BUT HE’S A GIANT DORK!

Originally posted by jiminiminii

THAT DESTROYS  EVERYTHING!

(…including the tiny bit of sanity I have left…)

AND ITS HONESTLY ADORABLE!

Originally posted by officialmonstaxmemes

AND NOT IS HE ONLY CUTE AND A GIANT DORK BUT HE’S HIGHLY INTELLIGENT, A GREAT LEADER FOR BTS,  AN AMAZING RAPPER, AND OVERALL FANTASTIC HUMAN BEING WHO DESERVES SO MUCH LOVE!

JUST LOOK

Originally posted by bangthebae

AT THAT SQUISH

Originally posted by yoongichii

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE HIM? 

After looking at Namjoon one would think end of story.

 BTS bias has been found!…the only problem with that is…

THIS HANDSOME PRINCE IS ALSO IN THE BAND

Originally posted by fawnave

LOOK AT SEOKJIN AND ALL HIS WORLD WIDE HANDSOMENESS

…i think i need a moment to recover from the gif….

Alright I’m good…I think….

BUT ANYWAY

Originally posted by bwiseoks

HE’S SO PRECIOUS!

Originally posted by bulletproof-heaven

AND A WALKING MEME 

Originally posted by the8-carat

HE IS JUST SO PERFECT! EVEN WHEN HE’S NOT TRYING TO BE!!

Originally posted by softlytaejin

HE DESERVES SO MUCH LOVE! HE CAN COOK, HE’S CARING, HE TAKES CARE OF THE REST OF BANGTAN LIKE A GOOD MOM SHOULD , AND HAS A SWOON WORTHY SINGING VOICE

Originally posted by bangtan

…*sigh* my heart just can’t handle…

But you see this is where the problems start to pop up. 

How can one possibly choose between Namjoon and Jin? 

Could this be anymore difficult??

Well guess what!

IT SURE CAN BECAUSE OF THIS ANGEL 

Originally posted by syubto

HE’S YOUR HOPE!

Originally posted by gotjhope

HE’S YOUR ANGEL 

Originally posted by nnochu

HE’S JHOPE

Originally posted by hohbi

AKA ANOTHER MEMBER OF BTS HERE TO WRECK ANY BIAS YOU MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT YOU HAD

Originally posted by yoongis--babygirl

WELL THINK AGAIN BECAUSE THE SUNSHINE THAT IS HOBI WILL LEGIT DANCE HIS WAY INTO YOUR BIAS LIST AND COMPLETELY WRECK EVERYTHING!

Originally posted by morekpopmore

AS IN HE WILL LEGIT DANCE HIS WAY INTO YOUR HEART

Originally posted by jjang-pandaa

AND NOT ONLY CAN THIS BOY MOVE BUT HE RAPS LIKE NOBODIES BUSINESS!

THIS BEAUTIFUL BALL OF SUNSHINE WILL DESTROY YOU WITH HIS HUGE SMILE AND ABSOLUTELY CAPTIVATING  PERSONALITY THAT WILL BRING LIGHT EVEN ON YOUR DARKEST OF DAYS. 

By this point you should realize that even attempting to pick a bias is futile…

ESPECIALLY WITH THIS CUTE LITTLE MOCHI RUNNING AROUND AND WRECKING EVERYTHING!

Originally posted by jiyoongis

THAT’S RIGHT PARK JIMIN WILL WRECK YOUR BIAS LIST FASTER THAN YOU CAN BLINK!

Originally posted by kpopidolaegyooo

ONE MINUTE YOU ARE A NAMJOON STAN AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW THIS CUTE LITTLE GUY HAS SUNG HIS WAY INTO YOUR VERY SOUL 

Originally posted by bangtan

HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO ADORABLE?

Originally posted by minspink

BUT SO HOT AT THE SAME TIME?????

Originally posted by jiminsjiminie

IT SHOULDN’T BE LEGAL TO BE SO FINE AND SUCH A MOCHI!

HIS EVERYTHING IS PERFECT 

Originally posted by allforbts

HE WRECKED YOUR BIAS WITH HIS SPARKLING PERSONALITY AND KILLER DANCE MOVES AND HE KNOWS IT!

A lot of army claim that all of BTS is their bias, and that they have an ultimate bias…but to be honest I don’t understand how they can even pick an ultimate bias?!

WHEN YOU HAVE A CUTIE LIKE JUNGKOOK RUNNING AROUND

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

THIS MAKNAE IS LEGIT GOLDEN 

Originally posted by nnochu

KOOKIE CAN DO ANYTHING PERFECTLY 

Originally posted by dream-bts

WHILE ALSO LOOKING HOTTER THAN THE HELL FIRE THAT I WILL PROBABLY END UP IN.

HE CAN SING

Originally posted by ultranicolet

DANCE

Originally posted by jungkookandyugyeomwhores

RAP

HE CAN DO IT ALL

HE’S ALSO A MEME KING

Originally posted by narika-a

WHICH IS WHY HE WILL JUNGSHOOK UP YOUR ENTIRE BIAS LIST 

Originally posted by baekon-stripss

When it comes to BTS bias wreckers

…don’t even get my started on Min Yoongi….

Originally posted by nnochu

THIS BOY WRECKS BIASES FOR FUN

THAT SMILE 

IT KILLS ME

Originally posted by elatedkindoflife

(*dies*)

I KNEW I SHOULDN’T OF STARTED TALKING ABOUT SUGA

Originally posted by feelalpha

NOT ONLY DOES YOONGI WRECK MY BIAS LIST 

Originally posted by charrytommoto

BUT HE WRECKS MY ENTIRE LIFE 

Originally posted by jeonsshi

…i just need a moment…

Originally posted by martina-07

okay…I’m good…I think…

BUT ANYWAY!

THIS BOY WILL SLIDE HIS CUTE ANGRY MARSHMALLOW SELF INTO YOUR BIAS LIST AND THEN COMPLETELY ERADICATE IT WITH GUMMY SMILES, PIANO PLAYING ABILITIES, AND RAP SKILLS LIKE YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE!

Originally posted by nomilkonlysuga

By now you probably think that we are done and picking a BTS bias is exactly as I said impossible….

BUT THINK AGAIN BECAUSE THERE’S STILL ONE MORE BTS BIAS WRECKING CUTIE!

HIS NAME IS TAEHYUNG 

Originally posted by hoe4bts

And if you spell taehyung backwards you get gnuyheat which means adorable in some language I just made up. 

HE GOES FROM ADORABLE PUPPY TO FINE AS HELL IN MATTER OF NANO SECONDS 

Originally posted by jjks

HIS DEEP VOICE WILL HAVE YOU SHOOK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

(AS WELL AS THIS GIF)

Originally posted by jimin-bts-trashs

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE GROWLS!

Originally posted by taevisual

HE’S FINE AND HE KNOWS IT!

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

HIS SMILE IS TO DIE FOR

Originally posted by sonyondan

HE IS HONESTLY THE CUTEST THING ON THE PLANET WHICH IS WHY HE WILL WIGGLE HIS WAY INTO YOUR HEART AND DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW ABOUT EVERYTHING. 

So proof that picking a BTS bias is IMPOSSIBLE

THEY 

Originally posted by lostinbangtan

ARE ALL 

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

PERFECT

Originally posted by mewchim


…wow this is really long i’m sorry….

alkja  asked:

I'm sorry, did you say "memes about “Master Kenobi’s sculpted abs”"????? HOW did that come to be? How did it happen that Ob-Wan "always wrapped in at least 3 layers of linen and wool" Kenobi got to be seen in deshabillé? Did Obi-Wan become a Jedi sex symbol? (he ought) Who was more mortified, he or Anakin? Were the Jedi pissed or were they like "mmmmh, good pr this is"? TELL US MORE!

combining this with:

Anonymous said:
/MEMES/ ABOUT OBIWANS /SCULPTED ABS??!?!/ Omigosh I have a sudden need to know how the holonet even got a pic of Obiwan’s abs. Was it a clone? Was it Ahsoka? Was it a jedi youngling? A trolling knight? A lucky-stalking journalist climbing the sides of the temple? HOW? HahahahahHHAha

and:

Anonymous said:
THE HOLONET NEVER FORGET hahahhaha yesss. But really, how did the public get a glimpse of Obiwan’s abs???

I just love that this became a BURNING QUESTION that NEEDS ANSWERS. Luckily I do have answers, but lol. (referenced by this and this)

WARNING: mentions of child slavery and the discovery of child slaves. Nothing graphic what so ever, in fact, the children haven’t been made slaves yet, though they have been kidnapped for that purpose.

It’s the kind of mission that Obi-Wan will do his absolute best to completely forget as soon as it’s over and he’s finished his report. 

For months they’ve fought this war, struggling to keep the Separatist forces at bay and keeping the Republic safe. For months the clones have been at the Jedi’s backs, help keeping them safe. Helped the Jedi be enough to keep the Republic safe. 

The Jedi are not an army, they’re not soldiers… They’re supposed to be peacekeepers but now, at the behest of the Republic, they’re not.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

fave headcanons or aus of your otps? c:

Oh god okay okay I’m so so sorry have fun
-Spanish Speaking Yamaguchi
Yamaguchi who moved from Spain to Japan at the tender age of two but never forgot his roots! Yamaguchi who speaks Spanish around the house to his Mama as it’s her first language and he knows how much joy it brings her to hear her son speak it. Tsukki loving every second he hears Yamaguchis native tongue because god the way the words slip off his lips is so seductive it makes him feel weak at the knees. Yamaguchi feeling so self conscious of his inability to learn English because he already knows two languages; three is just too much to comprehend at this point in his life. Just Yamaguchi speaking Spanish, okay?
- Kenma is Protective AF
As a kid, or even as a teenager, Kenma isn’t the easiest accepted of people. He is small and quiet and a loner in his class and he doesn’t believe he has many close friends. However those he does have? He would die for them. Like when people made fun of Lev for his legs (they’re so long and spindly he seems to tower over the rest of the class and he loves it because volleyball but also hates it because it’s just another thing that makes him different from the rest of the class) Kenma glared at them so intensely they got freaked and left. Kenma going anonymously onto people’s accounts who have been bothering his pals and sending them subtle threats to back off. Yet in person he is the least likely person to ever show it but he would crush anyone if it meant keeping his team safe. And Kuroo knows this. That’s why he lets him do as he likes because he knows no matter what he will always do what’s best for his friends.
- Iwaizumi would do anything to make sure his friends are happy and comfortable
One day at practice Makki complains about his phone breaking meaning he won’t be able to call anyone. The next day he walks into the gymnasium and right there next to his bag is a brand new phone. Another time Watari needs textbooks for his literature class otherwise he knows for sure he is going to fail it. Two days later all the books he needs, plus additional revision material, are waiting for him in his locker. On a separate occasion Kyoutani complains about his back hurting from all the spiking and low and behold the day after there is a back massager sitting waiting for him in his bag. For months no one knows what’s going on until finally Oikawa steps in. Iwaizumi Hajime may not come from a exceptionally rich family but he does have a exceptionally big heart and Tooru knows this better than anyone. Working late, doing night shifts and overtime just to have the money to make sure his friends and family never go without. He would never take credit for it of course but Oikawa knows anyway. After all this is the same boy who waits with him for hours after practice just so Oikawa can get in that last perfect serve. He is the boy who will answer his phone at 3am with a groan and a complaint but never the less still answers. He is the boy who would come home from school and pull a blanket over his mother and swear to himself that one day she wouldn’t be so constantly tired that the only things in her life were work and sleep. And, most importantly, he is the boy who, on the night of Oikawas 6th birthday, didn’t get a wink of sleep for the sole reason he was still preparing his present. The thing Oikawa wanted the most in the work. To see the stars. Being 6 of course that was impossible but there would be one way. Iwaizumi couldn’t send Oikawa to the stars so instead he would bring them to him. And as the last star shone a glowing green in the blackness of Oikawas darkened room it was done. 100 stars, 20 packets littered on the bedroom floor and one very very thankful little boy still asleep in his bed with another stood just beside him. Dreaming of the stars.
- The Captains all have a group chat.
Kuroo and Bokuto Meme, Daichi is confused, Ushiwaka is silently observing and Oikawa is fangirling and hating on Ushi. Literally enough said. Y'all know this is canon.
Okay wow I have a lot more I have never written here before and idek if these make sense but whatever! So okay yeah wow I’m scared okay sorry

So I’ve been on Jim little over a month and already there’s so many of you, I’m just so blown away, especially since I was a little insecure with him initially. The Sherlock fandom has just been so damn welcoming and honestly you’re all just the sweetest bunch, I’m so glad I came back after all the years I spent away (I used to run a Sherlock blog five years ago, which seems like a lifetime ago honestly). 

I’m going to throw all the love under the cut, just because there’s likely going to be a lot of it and I don’t want to spam the dash.

Keep reading