buying a sword

4

AU where Alpha Dave buys a cursed sword on ebay and has to deal with an angry ghost who claims to be his alternate universe brother and wants him to kill the troll empress.

(part one?? I’ve been thinking about it for two weeks and I want to draw a lot more :x)

Drawn for stridercestsecretsanta - Merry Christmas knightofrhyme!

Lords Reactions to MC Training to Become a Samurai

Nobunaga:

Acts really unimpressed but is super proud

“Look at how hard she is trying for us.”

Refuses to actually help train, prefers watching you from afar and commenting

Once snuck up on you while you were training and almost got his head lopped off

Demanded that you baby him for the rest of the day

Will buy you swords if he feels you’re doing a good job

Mitsuhide:
Protective Boyfriend™
Is pretty against it at first
Secretly thinks that he’s not doing a good enough job of protecting you
You have to explain that you wanna have a use like everyone else
“But you are useful…?”
After several days of convincing, he’s pretty cool with it
Trains you himself!
Always makes you tea afterwards

Yukimura:
“Absolutely not.”
Is terrified that you’ll hurt yourself
You respond by training with the soldiers, dawn until dusk
Takes him quite a long time to cave
Offers to help and is very gentle and patient
When sparring he lets you win on purpose sometimes
You tell him to stop

Saizo:
“You’re a very hardworking little lady aren’t you?”
Starts off watching you from afar, then confronts you about it
Will only help you if you offer him dango
You claim you don’t need his help, but make him dango anyways
Is very specific with advice but won’t actually do anything physically
You can often find him in the trees, with dango that he stole from Sasuke, watching you
Will massage you after training

Masamune:
Doesn’t like it, but respects your wishes
Is always proud of how hard you work
Always expectant of the end result
Grins so wide when he sees you swinging your wooden sword first thing in the morning and before you climb into bed with him
If you’re feeling unbearably sore, he’ll treat you and ask for a day off so he can take you to a hot spring

Kojuro:
“You’re training…to be a samurai?”
He’s worried that it’ll be too much for you, but also wants his precious girl to be able to protect herself
Strict™
He trains you like he trains his soldiers
But more handsy
Apologizes later at night for being too harsh
You forgive him of course
He rubs all your sore spots until you fall asleep

Hideyoshi:
Is instantly super supportive!
Buys you the best training equipment
Trains with you himself
Probably takes a bunch of breaks in the middle of training to just squeeze you and tell you how proud of you he is
He’s more of a hindrance than a help actually
Is the best at shoulder rubs

Inuchiyo:
“Why the hell do you wanna become a samurai?!”
Not on his dead body
He doesn’t want you to end up like your father
If he ever catches you training he’ll pluck the sword out of your hands and tell you to go back into the castle
Cue the part where you start training in secret so Inuchiyo doesn’t find out
Well he does, and he’s pretty impressed, much to his dismay
Reluctantly trains with you
“But only so you can learn to protect yourself.”
Sure, Inuchiyo

Ieyasu:
Comments about it all the time
Very few are actually helpful
He offers to spar with you, just so he can show that you “should stay in the kitchen, you kitchen wench”
You respond by mercilessly kicking his ass
He turns a new leaf
Comments become more helpful
Teaches you archery!
Drinks tea and eats daifuku with you afterwards

Mitsunari:
On the outside it appears that he couldn’t care less, on the inside he’s all for it
Begrudgingly “agrees” to train with you
Brings out all of his books
Super terse but very helpful
If you make him manju, he’ll give you a back rub after training
“This is only because the manju you made me isn’t entirely inedible.”
Doesn’t know how to feel when he sees your slowly developing arm and shoulder muscles

Shingen:
All for it!
Gives you the nickname “warrior princess”
The day he doesn’t train with you is the day he dies
The more muscle he sees as you keep training, the more he’s in love
Thinks his girl being a samurai like him is the cutest thing ever
Buys you armor
Both of you eat like your lives depend on it after training
workout buddy goals

Kenshin:
Instantly becomes worried that you’re going to want to go into war
But he wants his flower blossom to be happy
Gets some of his best retainers to train with you
His heart swells if you climb into bed with him, still smelling like sweat
Will take you to every hot spring in Japan after every training session
Totally babies you whenever you’re sore
Insists that he feeds you so you don’t “overexert yourself”

so i went to a toy store here in sweden today to look at weapons for halloween and my eyes landed on this

now at first i didn’t really think much about it but then i looked a little closer

I KNOW THAT FACE

THIS MEANS THAT SOMEONE SOMEWHERE MADE THESE MEDIEVAL KING’S SUPER SWORDS AND SHIELD AND THEN THOUGHT HEY LET’S PUT LIGHTNING FUCKING FARRON ON THE PACKAGE BECAUSE WHY NOT AND I HAVE BEEN LAUGHING FOR HOURS 

Also WHAT THE FRESH FUCK ARE THESE THINGS

the signs as things they've said to me lately
  • aries: if you got my face tattooed on your ass i'd finally be the assface i was born as.
  • taurus: you have to come inside and say bye to everyone or i'll start a rumor that you died.
  • gemini: HOW DID YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF BEER I WANTED WITHOUT ME EVEN TELLING YOU YOUR POWERS ARE FREAKING ME OUT
  • cancer: no yall don't understand, i've had a LOT of wine.
  • leo: i can't find my sweatpants and i need to share my confusion and rage.
  • virgo: you can either be homeless or be a dick, you gotta pick a struggle.
  • libra: how am i always the middle man? this is like my parents divorce.
  • scorpio: i don't remember a lot but i know a lap dance was involved somewhere down the line.
  • sagittarius: think of what you could do with that kind of money. you could go enjoy a boat ride. or buy a sword. or a cool statue.
  • capricorn: i could totally do that but see i just don't want to
  • aquarius: it's not just stars and palm readers damnit it's science!
  • pisces: i mean i know i was weeping five minutes ago but i'm fine now!

Just got back from watching the new Sword Art Online movie in the theater and damn was it good. If you’re a fan of the show, I definitely recommend seeing the movie at some point.