buy um

What do you have to say for yourself
  • Draco: Did you buy more milk?
  • Harry: Um... no.
  • Draco: Did you clean the kitchen?
  • Harry: ... No.
  • Draco: Did you at least do the laundry?
  • Harry: No.
  • Draco: Well, what do you have to say for yourself?
  • Harry: *leaning in and whispering in Draco's ear* I'm not wearing any underwear.
  • Draco: Apology accepted, let's go!
Translation from Naruhodo Fanbook

I felt like doing some translation for my own enjoyment so I grabbed my Naruhodo fanbook and picked this amazing scene out from the character blog section in the back. This was written by Takumi Shuu as promo material for the original trilogy back in 2005.

“English Version”

Mayoi: Hey, hey Naruhodo-kun! Did you hear?

Naruhodo: Hear what? You look awfully excited.

M: Apparently we’re finally gonna make our American debut!

N: Oh, you mean the English version, huh?

M: And apparently the setting is, get this, the crime capital, Los Angeles! Isn’t it exciting?!

N: …Don’t let anyone from Los Angeles hear you call their city that. They’ll get mad.

M: Well, they have a saying there: “If you toss a rock into a crowd, it’ll hit a criminal.”

N: You do realize that the second you throw a rock into a crowd, you yourself are a criminal, right?

********

M: You know, Naruhodo-kun. Something about you just doesn’t do it for me…

N: Wh-what do you mean?

M: It’s your face. It wouldn’t fit the image of “the crime capital.” You’ve gotta at least dye your hair blond.

N: B-blond…?!

M: Ah! Come to think of it, there’s an old saying in my village.

N: Oh, I can’t wait to hear this.

M: Let’s see, they say if you wash your hair with beer, it’ll turn blond!

N: ……..

M: It’s a saying that’s been passed down for years, but no one’s tried it out yet.

N: All you’d need is one person to try it to know whether it’s true… That’s not much of a mystery.

M: Just wait a sec, ok? I’m gonna go buy some beer.

N: ….Um, you know, Mayoi-chan, I feel like I should just give you a heads up.

M: Hmm? about what?

N: You know this doesn’t mean we’ll be going to America ourselves, right?

M: What?! No way! Seriously?!

N: The name of the main character in the English version isn’t even “Naruhodo Ryuuichi”.

M: Aw come on! What’s his name, then?!

N: Um, if I remember correctly, it’s Phoenix Wright.

M: …Your name got changed to “Feenicks”?

N: What’s that face for?

M: I mean, look at you! You don’t look like a “Phoenix” at all.

N: You don’t think so? Personally, I think I’ve got some birdlike qualities.

M: In that case, I think they should’ve gone with “chicken” for you. Chicken lawyer.

N: Mayoi-chan… You’re in a weirdly combative mood today.

M: And you’re not nearly bright enough to earn the name “Light”

N: I’m pretty sure “Wright” and “Light” are two different words. Probably.

M: What about “Rice” instead?

N: Um, what?

M: Forget Phoenix Wright. Go with Chicken Rice.

N: Who the heck would ever name their kid that?

M: Or maybe “Fried” would be good. Chicken Fried.

N: Well, what would your name be, Mayoi-chan?

M: Me? Let’s see… My name’s Mayoi, so how about “Mayonnaise”?

N: …That actually might suit you pretty well.

M: I’m a fan of mayonnaise.

N: Chicken Fried and Mayonnaise… We sound like a pretty high calorie pair.

M: More like a delicious pair.

N: Come to think of it, what do you think Mitsurugi’s name should be?

M: Let’s see… His name is Mitsurugi Reiji, so… How about “Ray G. Mituroogi”?

N: Huh. That’s unexpectedly straightforward.

M: But it gives you a sense of his pickiness, don’t you think? Especially the “Mituroogi” part.

N: Either way, I’m pretty sure they’ll make his name totally different.

**********

M: ……………..

N: ? What’s up? You’re weirdly quiet all of a sudden.

M: I might’ve just thought of something amazing.

N: What’s that?

M: The perfect crime… in Los Angeles.

N: Perfect crime… You?

M: So there’s a lawyer who looks exactly like you over there in the Crime Capital, right?

N: I guess. Mr. Phoenix.

M: So for example, you could go to a restaurant and eat a whole bunch of food, like chicken rice and fried chicken with mayonnaise on it.

N: Yes, I can see it now…

M: Then when the bill comes, you can tell them you forgot your wallet at home. When someone from the staff grabs you by the scruff of your neck, you shout “I AM PHOENIX!”

N: …When I picture that scene, it looks like some serious carnage took place there.M: And then they’ll send the bill to that Attorney Phoenix guy, see?

N: …I feel like attempting a crime like that would get you stoned by someone.

M: And I could eat all the miso ramen I wanted too!

N: Unfortunately, I don’t think they have miso ramen in America.

M: Really? You think? …I wonder what American me’s favorite food is, then.

N: Who knows?

Voice: Excuse meee!

M: Oh, there’s someone at the door. Comingggg!

Delivery man: Um, I have something here for the Naruhodo and Co. Law Offices… Ah, for a Miss Mayoi. Is that you?

M: Y-yes, that’s me. What is it?

D: I work at the restaurant Burger Land, and I have a bill here for you.

M: “15 Triple Burgers at 4,500 yen a piece”… Th-this wasn’t me!

D: Sorry, but it was definitely you. You came to our shop, stuffed your mouth with burgers, and shouted “I AM MAYOI,” spraying food everywhere!

M: …………

N: ………..

M: They got us first, Naruhodo-kun.

N: Sounds like the American you likes burgers, huh?

On History and Pie

Summary:  A nonathletic!Jack fic, where grad student and history nerd, Jack Zimmermann meets the cute Samwell student/baker Eric Bittle at the Bread and Butter Bakery.  Will the two make a love connection?  For @devereauxsdisease and @victorineb who love this incarnation of Jack as much as I do.

Originally posted by butteryplanet


They’d chatted at the bakery enough times that Bitty was able to pull the information from Jack. He’d started coming to the bakery about four weeks ago, and during that time Bitty became more and more charmed with the second year grad student.

He always sat in the corner armchair, ordered a black coffee, two macarons and a slice of whatever the pie of the day was. Bitty first noticed him when he came in to order a slice of Weary Willie cake.

Bitty loved his job at the bakery, it gave him some extra cash while he attended Samwell. Whenever Bitty was there, he was the de facto person in charge. Shirley and Spencer, the owners of Bread and Butter adored Bitty.

“We never had any kids of our own, so you’re the closest thing to it, Bitty,” Shirley said to him one evening over a cup of earl grey tea.

So Bitty stood there, face to face with the bluest eyes he’d ever seen the first time Jack walked in. The Clark Kent glasses in front of them did nothing to hide the fact that they were beautiful. It was a good face, a handsome face. He was burly and tall, and Bitty loved that. He smiled, and Bitty’s body language invited Blue Eyes to speak.

“Can I get a slice of the Weary Willie cake?”

“Sure can, handsome,” Bitty said as he began to ring up Blue Eyes’ order, who blushed furiously. “What else can I do you for?”

“Coffee. Black. Medium, please,” he replied looking down at the counter.

“Why don’t you go find yourself a seat and I’ll bring it out to you,” Bitty said with a warm smile.

“Thank you,” Blue Eyes said softly and then turned to walk toward the corner armchair.

When Bitty approached, Blue Eyes had pulled out a laptop and several textbooks, the one on top of the pile was called Foundations of Modern European Intellectual History.

“Doing a little light reading, huh?” Bitty said as he put the cake and coffee on the side table.

“Oh, haha. Yes.”

“Do you go to Samwell?”

“I’m finishing up my masters in history there,” he said as he held up his book.

“That’s great. I haven’t seen you here before,” Bitty said wanting to know more about History Blue Eyes.

“I saw the chalkboard outside listing the Weary Willie cake and the history nerd in me became curious.”

“Look at you! You certainly are a history major.”

“Did you make the cake?” Jack asked raising his eyebrows.

“Sure did. My moomaw had the recipe from her mama.”

“Well, it’s not often I find a somewhat obscure historical reference on my way back to the history building.” 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

can you do a fic or imagine where josh is late to someone's funeral (like a family member or something) and realizes he wants to bring flowers so on his way he steals some from the readers garden!!! fluff if you can :) love you tay xoxo

JOSH DUN IMAGINE

Warnings: death mention, poor sappy sad josh. 

Note: I’m so sorry that I take so long to update and write. I’ve been in a bad place lately, but I’m trying to pull out of it. You guys are the best, thanks for sticking with me through all this stuff and being so supportive!! honestly idek what this is, I wrote this half asleep all while eating an unhealthy amount of pasta, so please excuse the inevitable typos that you will find. But anyway here’s a kinda sad, kinda fluffy mess of a fic. 

Josh is late. In every sense of the word, he is so late. He’s even still in his work uniform, grey polo shirt scratching uncomfortably under his rain jacket. His hands are freezing and he doesn’t even have any flowers. Ashley is going to be so mad.

He’s power walking, well aware he probably looks like a mom tracking down six kids in a crowded mall (thinking of that makes his heart clench in his chest). There’s one more street to walk down–he refuses to drive there, it makes it feel too real. He stuffs shaking hands in his pockets and turns the corner.

Josh doesn’t have flowers. He’s visiting for the first time since it happened, he’s late, and he doesn’t have flowers.

He’s a block away when he sees them, the roses growing almost chaotically over a small light pink fence. He stops and looks down at them, then around. No one’s watching, so he crouches and picks a decent handful, murmuring a few sorries as the stems snap. He notes the house number and reminds himself to write a thank you note before standing up and continuing on his way.

Everyone’s already there when Josh arrives, eyes watery from the wind. Ashley gives him a look that would’ve been terrifying if not for the red around her eyes, and Josh mouths his apology while passing out hugs.

With a deep breath he crouches and places the six roses at the base of the polished stone. “Hi, mum.” Josh whispers, pressing a kiss into his hand and then to her name. “Sorry I’m late.”

I miss you. I stole these flowers for you, the old lady they belong to probably noticed already. My boss gave me a few extra sick days because she knows. I’m tired of everyone knowing. I love you.

It happens seven times in the course of two months, and Josh really doesn’t mean to make it a habit, but he can never seem to remember the flowers until he’s well on his way, and there are so many of them in the garden that he hardly feels bad. He never got around to writing the note.

He’s sitting in front of the grave with a bunch of daisies. “The girls miss you.” Josh says quietly, arranging the flowers nicely along the stone. The white is almost too bright to look at. “We all miss you, mum.” He whispers, feeling a tear run down his cheek. “Today at work a girl brought in her therapy dog. She was behind the counter with me and her dog—I can’t remember it’s name, but it spent the whole time licking my shoe. Reckon he knows, too? Anyway, it was nice. Maybe I should get a dog.”

Josh never means to cry but he always ends up doing it. It takes about twenty minutes for him to be able to breathe again, then he says goodbye and walks the three blocks to his car.

He usually visits once a week, sometimes one of his sisters comes with him. If it’s Abigail, they go get ice cream after. If it’s Ashley, which it usually is, they get coffee and don’t talk about it.

It’s running on month six when Josh sees her. He’s holding a beautiful bunch of chrysanthemums by his side, when he notices that there’s someone in the window holding the curtain aside. They make eye contact, and Josh feels very guilty. She doesn’t look angry, although there’s a noticeable furrow between her eyebrows. She’s wearing a cotton bathrobe and holding a mug of coffee. Josh could use some coffee.

He doesn’t know what to do, so he just smiles and holds up the flowers. Then turns on his heels and walks as quickly as he can.

“It’s not an old lady, mum, it’s a girl. She saw me today, caught me red handed.” Josh mumbles, laughing a bit to himself as he clears away some old flowers and places the new ones. “She didn’t do anything though, so I think I’m okay.” His voice cracks as he says it, and then, as usual, starts crying.

It takes two more times for the rightful owner of the flowers to confront Josh about his thievery.

Josh’s on his knees, picking some cute purple flowers when he hears her voice.

“Um, hello?” Josh nearly jumps out of his skin.

“Oh shit.” Josh says, looking up and feeling his heart sink. “Right. I’m sorry I just–your flowers are very nice.”

She smiles and crosses her hands over her chest. “Thank you.”

Josh’s still kneeling, hands shaking where they’re holding stems. She has long, dark hair and a sort of crooked smile on her face. Neither of them are saying anything. She’s wearing an old shirt with a hole near the hem. Josh’s hands are sweating.

“You know, if you’re going to steal my flowers to take to your girl, I think I’m going to have to come with you to make sure she’s beautiful enough to warrant theft.” She says, oddly calm and good natured.

Josh doesn’t know what to say. He just nods, trying to ease the panic rising in his chest.

“Add a few roses.” She orders, and Josh nods, picking a few and standing up, finally. “I’m Y/N, by the way.“ She says, extending a hand.

Josh smiles and shakes it. “Josh.” She smiles at him one more time and then they start to walk.

She pesters him with questions about his imaginary girlfriend, and Josh tries to answer them in the vaguest way possible, all the while trying to figure out how the hell he’s going to explain this when they get to the cemetery.

“Did she like the daisies you picked last time? I always thought those were more of a flower you give your mum, but I guess they’re nice.” she babbles, and Josh almost chokes.

“Yeah, um. Yeah.” he says, his heart racing in his chest. The small side entrance is only a few meters away, and she still has no idea. Josh doesn’t say anything as he walks through the gate, holding it open for her, who immediately stops talking as well.

The silence feels like a heavy blanket, and she just follows Josh as he makes the walk now committed to memory. Josh almost forgets she’s there, dropping to the probably permanently grass stained knees of his jeans and managing a smile. “Hi mum.” He places the flowers around the base of the stone, like he always does. Josh jolts when he feels a hand on his thigh, near his knee. He follows the arm up and meets her green eyes. Josh hadn’t noticed her kneel, too.

“Josh…” she whispers, obviously surprised. Josh doesn’t blame her.

“Don’t.” he says quietly, sniffling and looking away from him. “I brought someone with me. She’s the one I’ve been stealing all the flowers from.” Josh says, smiling a bit and he hears Y/N mumble a soft hello. “She hasn’t called the cops on me yet, which I guess is good.”

He takes a shaky breath before getting choked up. He puts his face in his hands and this was always just a part of his agenda, but the arm around his shoulders is new.

She starts talking.

“The first time I was sitting in my kitchen and I was like oh god do not pick the hibiscuses, they’ve got bees. But he didn’t, he chose some tulips instead.“ she laughs a little, and Josh almost starts crying again. “Between us, I hope he never stops.” she whispers, and Josh knows he wasn’t meant to hear it. There’s a lot he wasn’t meant to do.

Josh sniffles loudly and sits up to wipe his eyes. Her arm is still around his shoulders. “I’m sorry.” he says out of habit, as he’s been doing every time anyone’s seen him cry since October. She just shakes her head and uses a thumb to wipe a stray tear.

“Don’t apologize.” She says, and puts her hand back on her own lap. Josh wants to tell her to put it back. “I’ll um, give you some privacy.” She says, standing up and brushing her jeans off. “And, Josh, you’re welcome to my flowers anytime.” She says, giving him a bright smile before walking away.

Josh doesn’t watch her walk away. He turns back to the gravestone and sighs. “She’s kinda nice isn’t she mum?”

Josh can almost hear his mum yelling at him. Don’t be stupid, dear, go after her.

He kisses his hand and presses it agains the warming stone. “I love you.” He gets up, not bothering to dust off his knees and all but sprints back out to the sidewalk. Josh jogs down the road and turns the corner, smiling when he sees her walking peacefully down the street.

“Hey!” Josh yells, picking up to a run. She turns, and stops walking, looking surprised that Josh is running after her.  

“Let me, um, buy you lunch.” he says breathlessly.  “Figure I owe you one, since I’ve been stealing your flowers for months.“

She smiles and nods.  “Yeah, I guess that’a fair payback.”

They talk as they walk to her pick of café, and Josh feels lighter than he has in months.

They walk back to Y/N’s, and she makes Josh promise to close his eyes as she grabs the spare key. It’s painfully adorable.

“Wanna, um come in?” she asks, looking down at her feet as she says it. Josh’s cheeks go hot at that, being suddenly floored by how pretty she really is.

“I-” Josh starts, before checking his watch,. “Really need to be heading home.” He tries not to let the way her face falls hurt his feelings too bad. “I have work in like, an hour, so.” he explains, and she nods.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Maybe another time.” she says, eyes wide and hopeful.

Josh grins. "Definitely. I’ll call you–or you’ll see me in your garden, either one.” He throws in a wink and leans in to peck her cheek before turning and walking down the street to his car.  At the corner he turns and finds Y/N still standing in her doorway.

It was not a good day. Josh has been avoiding sleep because every time he closes his eyes at night,  he can’t stop picturing the time he showed his mum how he could climb the tree in the backyard. He fell on the second branch and skinned his shin and elbow. She patched him up and bought him ice cream, and then they watched movies until Josh fell asleep against her on the couch.

He sighs and presses the heels of his palms into his eyes. He’d stopped crying about an hour ago, now he’s just staring at his ceiling with his eyes burning. It’s four thirty. Sleep is definitely out of the picture, so Josh grabs his keys and does the only thing he can think of.

He picks seven roses on his way, hops the fence, and finds he can still cry, forehead pressed against cold stone.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there for, but when he opens his eyes, the sky is more grey than black. “Fuck.” He curses and rubs at his stinging eyes. “Sorry for swearing,” He whispers, laughing a bit. “I’ll be back soon, I love you.”

He stands.  It’s about to be five in the morning, and Josh really can’t see himself driving all the way back home. He doesn’t quite know what to do as he walks back, but then he sees the garden, and finds himself knocking on the door.

It takes a few, but Y/N does open the door, hair a mess, grey sweats hanging low on her hips. “Josh,” She says, surprised. “What are you doing here babe?” she asks softly.

“Couldn’t sleep. Needed some flowers.” he mumbles, blinking a few times to try and get rid of the blurriness creeping across his eyes. “Can I come in?”

“Yes, of course.” she says without missing a beat, and Josh sighs, relieved. He toes off his sneakers at the door and lets Y/N lead him through the house.  He can tell that Y/N wants to ask, but doesn’t.

In fact, she doesn’t say anything, and Josh finds that oddly comforting, she just sits next to Josh on the couch and keeps her hands curled in her lap.  

“I took some roses again this morning,” Josh admits.

“What color?” is all she responds with.

“The white.”

“That’s the best kind,” she assures him. You can keep helping yourself to those.” she says, leaning over and poking into Josh’s side. “Think of it as my gift to your mum, too.”

That makes Josh tear up a bit.

“I should go,” he says, not wanting to start crying in front of her for a second time.  

“Oh,” she says, sounding almost disappointed.  “Right— okay.”

Josh stands up, his chest feeling tight and his thoughts racing.  But in the midst of the chaos, he hears her voice.  Clear as day; the reason behind his messy, illogical mind. Don’t be stupid, dear, go after her.

Josh turns suddenly then, and takes a step closer to Y/N, so he can hold her hands in his own. “Can I take you to breakfast right now?”

She beams at him, dimples drilled into her cheeks as she nods in agreement. She hurriedly finds shoes and a jacket, stopping at the door to lock the door before following Josh out. They walk to his car hand in hand, and it all feels so right.

They get pancakes, and Josh kisses the whip cream off her lips. People give them looks as they laugh obnoxiously and fond over one another. Josh doesn’t care.

He wakes up the next morning in a bed that isn’t his own and to the smell of bacon. He smiles to himself. “Are you ever going to let me make you breakfast?” he asks, laughing a little when he sees Y/N standing in front of the stove.

“Maybe, if you ever wake up before me.” she says, looking over her shoulder and smiling at Josh.

They sit down to eat breakfast on Y/N‘s couch, blanket pulled over both of them, and it’s home.

Best. Internship. Ever

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Author: @ninja-stiles

Words: 3100

Author’s Note: FBI Stiles get’s me going and @mf-despair-queen gave me this idea and I just had to write it omg. I hope you guys enjoy this! Thanks to @rememberstilinski for proofreading this for me. She’s the best!


Originally posted by effingstiles


Quantico, Virginia. I’m finally here, at the FBI academy. I looked up at the white building, my stomach churning with excitement as I hiked my bag over my shoulder. I fixed the collar of my button up white shirt, placing the name badge over my head as it dangles from my neck. I waltzed into the building, staring at everything in sight as my eyes lit up, a wide smile on my lips.

Keep reading

Lmao at the news being like “Why aren’t Millenials buying life insurance?” um 👏🏼 WE 👏🏼 DON’T 👏🏼 HAVE 👏🏼 MONEY 👏🏼like so many of us have so much debt we can barely eat like fuck off with this life insurance shit

ice rink date

request; can you do an imagine where Shawn wants to teach you how to skate but you’ve been keeping it from him that you’ve actually played hockey longer than him?

a/n; im pretty sure i wrote this ages ago but idk does this count as fluff?? yes?? no?? probably not oops 

MASTERLIST || REQUEST 


“Okay, so the first thing you need to learn is how to stay balanced,” Your boyfriend of a month tried explaining to you. He was tightly holding your hand while the other hovered over your hips just in case you fell.

“Shawn, I swear if you hold onto my hand any tighter, I’m gonna lose circulation before I even learn to skate,” You lightly tease at your cautious boyfriend. You knew how protective he was of you, and watching his concerned face as he loosened his grip on your hands gave you a kick.

Sticking out your tongue in concentration as you tried your best to stand all the way straight, your legs gently wobbled. You also tried holding in your laughter at how Shawn was treating you like a baby learning how to walk. This definitely wasn’t your first time on the ice, but you wanted to have some fun with Shawn before telling him.

“Now just go one foot on the ice like you’re gliding, baby. You can even turn your feet in and out if you’re feeling risky,” He joked.

You went in with your right foot and took another stride with your left, moving with a little too much power, leaving Shawn behind. You pushed your right foot to the side to come to a stop, and looked behind you. Shawn’s face was so cute, yet he was nothing but concerned. He rushed over to you and wrapped his lengthy arms around your waist.

“Baby,” He hugged you tighter. “Maybe take shorter strokes? I don’t want you getting hurt. You got me off guard there for a second,” He laughed, burying his head in between the crook of your neck and shoulder. His warm breath against your cold skin brought goosebumps along you back. Shawn was always so caring for you, and you couldn’t of asked for a better boyfriend.

Another half hour passed of Shawn trying to teach you all of the basics of ice skating, as you tried going along. You weren’t gonna lie, you were getting bored of acting clueless, so you decided to challenge him.

“You’re a natural, Y/N! Next time we come, I need to bring the hockey stick and puck!” Shawn said.

“I think I got this down, babe,” You looked up at Shawn. “Can we maybe try to race around the rink? Loser has to buy lunch today.”

“Um, are you sure about that princess? You don’t think you’re gonna get hurt? I’d seriously hate myself if you fell and hurt yourself.” He shivered at the thought of you falling and injuring yourself. Despite this, the expression on his face made you ever more excited for the tony competition.

“Yes, Shawn, don’t worry about me. All you need to be worried about is me kicking your butt.” You laughed loudly into his chest.

“Okay, it’s on. Prepare to get your ass kicked,” He chuckled, “And don’t come crying to me when you’re left in my dust,” Shawn booped your nose before moving to the edge of the rink.

The two of you lined next to each other as Shawn counted off. “On three. One, two-,” Shawn took off, giving him a head start.

“Hey you didn’t get to three!” You called while taking your longest strides. You were much shorter than Shawn, but you used the muscle in your legs from years of playing hockey to gather momentum. In seconds, you were right on his tail. Leaning forward, you pushed with your blades to catch up with Shawn. You went into a squatting position and brought your hands behind your back as you glided past Shawn, stunning him as he realized that you were now beating him.

You used the energy you saved up while Shawn was teaching you to finish your lap around the rink, waiting another two seconds for him to catch up with you. You cheered in victory, rubbing your win in Shawn’s face.

“Okay, don’t take this in the wrong way, but how the hell did you just beat me?” Shawn laughed while draping his arm over your heaving shoulders.

“Silly, this isn’t my first time skating.” You explained as the two of you headed towards the exit of the rink.

“Wait, what? But I thou-” You cut off Shawn.

“My dad was head coach of the Chicago Blackhawks before he met my mom and moved to Toronto with her. I’ve been skating with my dad for as long as I’ve been walking,” You explained to Shawn as a blush grew to his face.

His embarrassment soon turned into shock. “Wait. So you’re telling me that your dad used to coach one of my all time favorite NHL teams, and you never told me?” He gasped as he feigned hurt, moving his hand to his heart.

“Yep. I was waiting for you to take me to a date on the ice so I could school you. The look on your face when I caught up to you was priceless, babe. Oh, and by the way, I believe you owe me lunch?” You laughed while skating away from him.

“Oh, you’re gonna get it darling,” He called while chasing after you.


check out my other writings >> masterlist

© sowhatshawn || all rights reserved

BTS Reaction to You Buying Them Expensive Gifts

MASTERLIST

Anonymous: “ BTS reaction to you spoiling them a lot with expensive clothes and gifts? Thanks 💓

hope you like it!<333


Jin: You knew Jin had been working hard for a comeback, so you wanted to do something special for him. You went out and bought him a bunch of expensive things; things such as designer clothing and really expensive meat.

When Jin would come home to find everything you bought, he would be surprised.

“What’s all this, YN?”

“Surprise! Do you like them? I bought them all myself,” you would say, waiting for his response.

Jin would be thankful to have such a thoughtful significant other, but as soon as he looked at the price tag on all the stuff, he would be shocked.

“YN wtf? $2000 for a shirt? I could buy the same one at the mall for $5! I hope you kept the receipts,” he would start to say. You would explain to him how you just wanted to do something nice because he deserved it, but Jin wouldn’t be having it.

“Thank you, YN, but I don’t want you to spend your money on me. Having you is enough. Now return everything… except the meat!”

Originally posted by hob-e

Suga: Yoongi wasn’t always the most obvious with his feelings, but when it came to you, sometimes there would be an exception. While you were at work, Yoongi would find a receipt from Rolex with a very expensive watch listed as one of the things that were bought. When you would come home, the first thing Yoongi would do would confront you about it.  

“I just wanted to buy you something nice for once. You always buy these nice and expensive things for me,” you would explain.

“YN, you don’t need to show me how much you love me with gifts– I already know how much you love me and that’s enough. This is way too expensive, and the one thing I only ever want is you.”

Originally posted by frostbittensuga

J-Hope: You and Hoseok would be at the mall window shopping when you stop by his favourite stores. You noticed that Hoseok was looking at one of the items, but didn’t buy it.

“You’re not going to buy it?” You would ask.

“I was… until I looked at the price tag,” he would joke.

You would nod with a satisfied look on your face and Hoseok would look at you suspiciously. He knew you loved to do things for him, something he appreciated a lot, but he didn’t want your bank account to struggle.

“YN, don’t even think about it. I know that look,” he would say, strictly. “You already do so much for me, and I’m forever grateful to have you. You don’t have to buy me all these expensive things, that’s my job!”

Originally posted by jeonnseagull

Rap Monster: Namjoon would come home to a bunch of signed merchandise from his favourite celebrity, Ryan Bear (lmao ik y'all are thinking wtf but just BEAR w me lol). As soon as he saw everything, he would be filled with joy.

“YN, where did this all come from?” He would say while he looked at each of the items.

“I bought them and got them all signed for you!” You would reply.

Namjoon would turn around and look at you with a confused look. Of course, he would be thankful for how thoughtful you were to buy him all of his favourite things, but he knew how expensive they were. He wouldn’t want you to feel like you needed to buy him expensive things to make him happy.

“Thank you YN, I love them. But please, next time don’t spend so much money. A simple drawing of him would be enough for me,” he would explain, telling you how it was the thought that counted.

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Jimin: Jimin would walk into your room and see you online, switching between tabs of your bank account and an online store. He knew you wanted to buy something, and would think that maybe something was holding you back.

“I can buy that for you, if you want, YN,” he would ask over your shoulder, not even knowing what you were about to buy.

“Oh, um actually…” you would start to say, surprised by his presence. “I was actually going to buy something for you.”

Jimin would be confused at first, wondering why you would buy him something that was probably too expensive. He would explain to you that he didn’t want anything that was expensive, no matter what the occasion was.

“YN, your love is enough for me! I don’t need anything else from you.”

Originally posted by baepsaeboyss

V: Taehyung would be grateful that you bought him an expensive gift, not because of the price, but because of the thought. However, he would mostly feel bad. He knew how expensive it was and knew for sure that it did some great damage to your bank account.

“YN, you didn’t have to buy me something so expensive, you know,” he would say. He would thank you for thinking of him, but would proceed onto telling you how he would never want you to spend money on him.

Originally posted by jitonic

Jungkook:  Since Jungkook always bought you expensive things, you wanted to do the same for a change. You would tell Jungkook how you bought him a new outfit straight from a designer brand and booked a spot for the two of you at a five-star restaurant.

Jungkook would be happy at first, thinking of the outfit and the expensive food that he will soon eat. But then he realised that you paid for everything out of your own pocket, and he could never accept that.

“YN, I’m supposed to be taking care of you,” he would say, slyly. “Anything you want, I’ll get it for you. You don’t need to worry about me, all I want is you and your love.”  

“Fine,” you would say. “But since we were supposed to go to the restaurant, I didn’t make dinner.”

“Alright, convenient store ramen it is!” Jungkook would say, sounding cocky for some reason.

Originally posted by smallkpoplove


thanks for reading! requests are open for both reactions and scenarios, so don’t be afraid to send in some or lots! :D

“We fit”

hey! this is my first completely written imagine, well not exactly an imagine, a drabble, mostly.

warning/s: slight smut

rating: um. M, pretty much

also, NOT proofread, forgive any mistakes, please.

word count: 847, not very long, sorry.

Storyline: “b-bug,” he whimpered, eyes rolled back in pure euphoria,

“hmm?”

A slight grin adorned his pink, bitten lips, “yeh’re warm.”

OR the one where Harry loses his virginity to Y/N.

_______________________________________________

It started when they were at Tesco, and Y/N was picking up some fruit.

“um, Y/N?”

“yeah, H?” she says, eyes scanning the rows of colourful fruit.

“yeh kno’, t-there’s this, um, b-buy one ge’ one o-offer on c-con, Oh! fuck this!” he exclaims, burying his face in his hands.

“offer on what? C’mon you can tell me, love”

“i-I kno’ ‘s jus’ I can’! ‘s silly.” He whines, a soft blush creeping up his cheeks.

“hey, tell me, c’mon! promise I wont laugh! C’mon, deep breath.”

He sighs, “c’mere” he says, dragging her down to the ‘Sanitation and Hygiene’ aisle. (A/N I just made that up, lol)

He holds up a box, and Y/N’s eyes strain to recognize them. And when she does….

“oh! Condoms?”

“y-yeah, ‘m sorry, tol’ yeh ‘twas silly.”

She smiles, reaching up on tip-toes to kiss his cheek.

He blushes all the more, burying his face in her neck. Oh, she smelt so good.

“baby, you sure?” she asks, she had never been one to force him into something.

“I dunno… are yeh okay with it?” he enquired, still feeling too shy to look up.

“love, this is ‘bout you, whatever you want, sweetheart.” she says, planting kisses on his stubble-covered cheek.

“umm, I o-okay, l-let’s try”

She smiles, “of course, sweet love.”

_______________________________________________________________

“well wha’ now?” he asks, walking into their apartment.

“well, we should just wait till it happens, babe, let it come naturally.”

“by the way, you look damn good in those jeans” he smirks, walking over to her.

“oh I do, do i? what are you doing, trying to seduce me?”

“somewhere along the lines o’ tha’” he says, bending to nip at her lip.

She laughs, kissing him, and let’s just say there was some tongue. But some, of course, we mean, a LOT.

“well, I know you’re new to this, baby, but whatever you’re doin’, it’s working” she whispers, a naughty smile coming into play.

“and this,” she says, pressing down on his crotch, “what’s got you all worked up, hm?”

He’s gasping, grabbing her hand as she pulls it away, “don’, wha’ever yeh’re doin’ don’ stop.”

She laughs, getting on her knees and pressing kisses to his tummy.

“you know,” she says, her cold hands creeping under his tee, “you’re a nut.”

“a nut? Me? Wha’?” he says, eyebrows scrunching to make sense in the situation.

“you’re a nut, baby, for hiding this from me, for SO long”

They had seen each other naked, of course, but this- this was something SO different.

“bu’ i-I”

“shh, baby, work with me, ‘kay?”

“yea-” he was cut short by his own moan, she was pressing kisses to his clothed cock.

Sneaky bitch.

She looked up, from under her lashes, blinking innocently, but his hard on told a completely different story.

“you sound so sexy, baby,” she says “makin’ me wet, already”

He moaned, eyes closed, and head thrown back, he could imagine her- dirty, filthy little thing, practically dripping, and he just couldn’t take it.

“bed. Now” he demanded, shooting her a glare.

She laughed a devilish laugh, she couldn’t help it.

“see ya,” she waved, walking down the corridor to their shared bedroom.

She heard him growl, she knew what she was doing to him.

____________________________________________________________

Meanwhile, harry was busy looking through their shopping bags, until-

“ah, found it”

He grabbed the boxes of condoms, and made his way to their room.

He turned the knob to enter, and immediately, his eyes widen. She was sitting there, naked, and she-she was, oh dear lord, she was touching herself.

“ wha’ are yeh doin’?” he groans, and her eyes meet his, and he could see the lust in them. Those golden, dark emotions, and they were there for him. Him only.

“got tired of waiting fo’ you” she said, biting her lip and she heard him swear.

“you’ve got too many clothes on, sweetheart,” she says, walking over to him, “can’t have that, now can we?”

His breath hitches as she stripped him bare.

She smiled, when she saw the length of his manhood, nudging his tip with her nose.

“cant wait to have that inside o’ me” she says, standing up to kiss him

They share a passionate kiss, mixed with emotions of love, lust and craving. Craving for each other.

He lay down, on the bed, as per her order, hand still taut around the foil packet.

She took it from him, ripping the pouch in one go, between her teeth, and slipped it onto his hard, oozing prick.

“now, baby, let’s go slow, okay?”

“yeah, o-okay,” he whispers, “p-please, take m-me” he pleads, eyes watering with want.

She slowly sinks down on him, going inch by inch, until he was balls deep inside of her.

She lay on his chest, letting him adjust to this brand new feeling.

it took him a minute, quite a few, actually, and-

“b-bug,” he whimpered, eyes rolled back in pure euphoria,

“hmm?”

A slight grin adorned his pink, bitten lips, “yeh’re warm.”

She smiles, kissing his lips once more.

“you’re big, baby,”

“we fit.”

_______________________________________________________

thank you so much for reading, loves, hope you liked it, muah muah muah!

 

HqI�3

  • Customer: I accidentally typed in $5 cash back instead of $50. Is there a way to go back and change it?
  • Me: Unfortunately not.
  • Customer: *finishes paying*
  • Me: *hands her the $5 cash back*
  • Customer: I wanted $50 *awkwardly stares at me for a moment* What do I do?
  • Me: You'll just have to go through the line and buy something again.
  • Customer: Um, no. *storms out*
Work > You

Request from stephanielee9000: Can I have Christian smut plssss? It’s like both of you had a fight as have not been talking to each other for almost 2 weeks and you went to the club (he is there too) wearing something that turns him on and you kinda make him jealous by dancing with other guy…others are all on you

“I don’t fucking care, Christian! You told me that we were going to my friend’s wedding together and now you’re bailing on me?”

“I need to get this video out and I’m not even close to finish. And it’s only a wedding, I’m sure you’ll be fine going by yourself”.

“No it’s not just a ‘wedding’, it’s about a promise you made to me. How am I suppose to tell everyone? They are expecting two guests! And what about the plane tickets? Are you going throw away your ticket? Do you know how much money that shit cost?”

“Just tell them I’m sick or something and don’t worry about the plane ticket. I’ll call the airline and cancel it. No biggie”.

You looked at Christian with tears in your eyes.

“This isn’t the first time you have bailed on me, Christian. Lately, you’ve been putting work first. I know you have a lot of passion with what you do, but can you please put me first for once?”

“Babe, it’s not as easy as it seems. I really need to finish this video, the guys and I have so much left to do. I’ll personally call your friend and apologise to her, okay?”

You gave up on the argument because you knew Christian wouldn’t change his mind. Being with him sometimes was stressful because he comes home late and he usually puts his work ahead of you. He was even late to your one year anniversary dinner. You had to wait in the restaurant all alone and was embarrassed because people thought you were being stood up. 

“Whatever do what you want”.

//

You flew back to Australia to attend you friend’s wedding the next day. You had planned so many things to do with Christian while the two of you were back home. You purposely planned the trip to last 2 weeks so that you two would have time to do visit family, friends and maybe road trip somewhere. But with Christian being Christian, your plans are thrown out the window. 

The two weeks that you stayed in Australia, you didn’t even try to contact Christian. He tried to contact you but you simply ignored him. This isn’t the first time you’ve ignored his calls and texts. You posted photos on Instagram and saw that Christian liked each everyone of them so you knew that he knew you were safe and doing okay. Well it would have been better if he was actually there with you…

//

“Hey, wanna go clubbing tonight? Or are you too tired from your flight?” 

You landed back in Korea not too long ago and currently waiting for a taxi to take you home. You didn’t bother calling Christian to see if he was able to pick you up nor did he try to contact you. 

“Hey! Um yeah sure, I’m up for it. Where is it?”

“Awesome! I’ll message the address and let’s meet at my place, okay? We’ll go together”.

//

You opened Christian’s apartment door and saw his usual shoes were gone so this meant he was not home. You noticed the living room and kitchen was spotless and couldn’t help yourself to feel proud of him. You were glad that he didn’t trash his place while you were away. Then on the kitchen table, you saw a little box with your name on it. You noticed it was Christian’s writing:

Welcome back, baby! I missed you so much so here’s a little something for you. Sorry I couldn’t pick you up so please call me when you see this message xoxoxo.

You opened the box and saw a silver necklace with a moon pendant. Christian always told you he loved you to moon and back. You tried calling Christian but it was straight to voicemail so you texted him instead. You told him that you got home safely and will be going to the club with your friend later. 

Christian messaged you back just before you left home and he asked which club you were going to. You replied to him and that was it. He didn’t say anything else. You’re now afraid he’s mad at you but you thought, he always put work first so tonight, you’re putting your friends first. 

//

You arrived at the club with your friends. You wore a dress that had a plunging neckline and it stopped just above your knees. You paired your dress with a new pair of heels and also wore Christian’s necklace. 

Your friend’s friend bought drinks for everyone and you tried not to drink a lot tonight since you’re still a bit jet lagged. A few hours passed and now you found yourself on the dance floor. You eyes began to wander around the club and it stopped at a certain table. You focused your gaze and try to figure out who the person sitting at the table was. This person looked very familiar and then it clicked. It was your boyfriend. 

Christian was sitting at the table and he also saw you. He was now staring intensely at you, and couldn’t help but to eye you from top to bottom. You could have sworn he licked his lips at you and you knew that look. You were waiting for him to come to you but he didn’t. He just sat at the table looking at you. Frustrated that he didn’t bother to greet you, you started to dance alongside a group a guys. One took notice of you and began to come closer. The DJ then started to play the remix version of Mommae by Jay Park. You took the opportunity to make your boyfriend jealous. You swayed your hips to the beat and against the stranger. 

Christian saw what you trying to do and he didn’t even flinch. He just poured another drink and watched you put on a show. By the time, the song ended Christian was still sitting at the table and you didn’t even realise the stranger was talking to you.

“Let me buy you a drink?”

“Um no thanks. I’m not drinking tonight,” you answered. 

“Such a shame. Do you want to join me at the bar then? I’ll drink, you talk and I’ll listen. What do you say, pretty face?” The stranger proceeded to come closer to you and he put his arms around your shoulders. 

You tried to move his arms off you but he didn’t budge. 

“Excuse me, I have to go back to my friends”.

He still wouldn’t let go.

“Look, I’m not interested in whatever you’re looking for, ok?”

“Really? Then why were you grinding against me just a few minutes ago?”

“It’s because she was putting on a show for me”.

You turned around to see who said that. It was Christian, of course. Christian pulled you away from the stranger.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard him. I was just putting a show for this guy here”.

“Yeah man, you were just a prop”.

The stranger scoffed and stuck his middle finger at the both of you. You laughed as Christian turned you around and put his arms around your waist.

“Hey there”.

“Hey you,” you greeted him back as your arms wandered around his neck. 

“What would you have done if I didn’t come and rescue you, [Y/N]?”

You scoffed at his question.

“Rescue me? I can take care of myself, Christian”.

Christian grinned and leaned in towards you.

“Are you saying that you have been taking care of yourself for the past two weeks?”

He leaned back out and gave you his mischievous smile. You knew exactly what he meant when he said ‘taking care of yourself’. 

“Hm, maybe just for tonight I want you to take care of me. I’m tired of taking care myself. Doesn’t ‘feel’ quite the same, you know?”

//

“Hey! Be gentle with my underwear. You’re gonna tear it,” you yelled at Christian.

“Baby, I have seen many more of these at home. A whole drawer of them so I’m sure it’s ok if one gets ripped,” he snapped back at you.

“I just bought these and can you just take it off normally?” 

Christian and you left the club and now you two were in his car. Christian had put the passenger’s seat down and you sat on top of his almost naked body. Within seconds of getting into the car, Christian had already stripped down to his boxer then he started to undress you. 

“Normally? We’re in a car with limited space. Why don’t we just put your underwear to side?”

You shook your head at him and you leaned back to the dashboard and attempted to take it off. You struggled as Christian watched on, grinning and licking his lips at the same time. Once you got it off, you threw it at him.

“Thanks for the help, babe”.

Christian snickered at your comment and grabbed you by the hips so that you sat directly on him. You leaned forward and kissed his lips. You took control of the kisses while Christian ran his hands up and down your body. You were in full control of his mouth and you accidentally bit on his lips too hard.

“Ow! Babe?!”

“Aw I’m so sorry. It’s not bleeding so you’ll be okay,” you reassured him as you rubbed his lips with your fingers.

“I can’t say the same for you”.

“What?”

Christian lifted you up and pulled his boxers down. You reached for a condom in the glove compartment and slid it on him. He watched you intensely as you put on the condom.

“I’ve missed your touch”.

You grinned at him shyly as you leaned back into him to continue placed kisses on his lips, cheeks and neck. This time Christian took control and his hands cupped your ass as you began to grind against him. Your movements were slow and every time you pushed against him a little harder, Christian let out a soft moan. You always loved it when he did that. Christian ran his hands down you and it was like you had read his mind, you lifted yourself up to allow him to touch your core. 

“Shit babe, it’s soaking down there”.

“And you’re complaining?”

Christian smiled at you and held his member so that you could slid onto him. He guided you down with one hand and you couldn’t help but to let something between a whimper and a moan. Once he was completely inside of you, you started to move your body up and down on him.

“Shit..oh my god…”

Christian held onto your upper thighs to support your movements and at the same time he was also pushing himself into you. You head banged against the roof of the car and it started to hurt so you leaned back into him. Being in this position allowed you control your movements better and you could move in which ever way you wanted. You used this to your advantage so you tried several movements before setting on one that made you feel good.

The car windows started to fog as both of you filled the car with moans and grunts. Christian’s hands made their way towards your ass and he squeeze it hard and you knew his prints will be visible later. 

“Oh… my god, Christian…ooh”

“Yes..keep going baby..fuckkk”

You held onto his shoulders as you continued riding him. Christian started to kiss your neck and chest areas and this took you overboard. The way his lips left your sensitive areas sent shivers down your spine. You were getting close and your movements began to slow down, but Christian didn’t allow that.

“Baby keep going..c’mon..shitt”

“I can’t..any..more..fuck..”

You head buried against his neck and seeing this, Christian cupped his hands around your ass and he started to push you up and down him. You held onto him for dear life as he thrust in and out of you. You could feel him deep in you and with each thrust you were getting closer and closer. 

You lifted your head away from his shoulders and began to kiss him, but that didn’t last long since you were about to come. 

“Oh my god..babe..oh my god…I-I-I”

And in that moment you reached climax. You closed your eyes as your body started to quiver and shake. He held onto you as you felt your orgasm pass through your body. Not long after, Christian came. His head fell back and you kissed his neck while he was going through what you just went through several seconds ago. 

“I forgot to tell you this earlier but welcome back babe, I’ve missed you so much”.

“I’ve missed you too. I shouldn’t have ignored your calls and messages. I’m sorry”.

“Don’t be and I promise from now on, I’m putting you first. Work comes second, okay?”

Before you could reply to him, you heard someone knocking on the car window.