buy my book so i can eat

Y’know, I really appreciate Urbosa’s characterization in BOTW. Instead of making her that inappropriately flirty cougar type that Nintendo is so fond of using, (I’m looking at you great fairies,) they just kinda made her the mom?

I mean, look at her.

“Well, I’m sorry your mom died of a plot contrivance, and your father is an ulcerated dickblister, but good news, you’re mine now. I’m gonna buy you so many books. Do your chores and you can steer the Divine beast. Then we can braid each other’s hair and throw rotten fruit at men from Gerudo town’s walls. Link you better protect my precious daughter or I’ll crush your fucking skull between my thighs.”

Like, I’m imagining Riju making a pilgrimage to meet her ancestor’s spirit and the first thing Urbosa says to her is, “Did you eat breakfast this morning? Hold on I’ll make you some porridge.”

It’s easy to get caught up in the mindset of just living from deadline to deadline, and then time slips away before you know it. So, how do you make the most of your time and actually accomplish all those things you’ve been saving for ‘someday’? It’s all about living intentionally. 

set goals

For each month, each week, and each day. Reminder yourself of them often. Make them your mantra. Wake up each day and know that one thing you want to accomplish. Whether it’s a literal task (keeping the house tidy) or a mindset (be positive) the first step to being intentional is deciding what you’re going to be intentional about. 

put away technology 

The biggest enemy of intention? Mindless use of your phone. Technology can be great, but it can also seperate you from the world around you. Set aside phone-free zones: time with friends, meal times, and just before bed are my top suggestions. You’ll be amazed by how much better you feel after starting your day by enjoying a cup of coffee, sans mindlessly scrolling through Twitter, or spending an evening with friends without documenting it on Snapchat. 

create routines

Not the routines that you get caught up in (like working on projects for hours on end each day) but routines that create a more calming environment and make you slow down and really think about your day. Make tidying up into an event – put on a great podcast and enjoy it, and enjoy the feeling of living in a clean space. Set aside time each day for something that you enjoy – whether it’s going for a run, reading a book, or fixing a nice cup of tea.

feel your best

For me, my day feels 100% more productive as soon as I get dressed. Make a point to change clothes everyday, even if it’s just into different sweat pants if that’s all you want to wear. The simple act of showering and changing clothes can work wonders. 

use what you have

I have this thing: I will buy or be gifted some beautiful, everyday item and then I’ll save it for a special occasion. But, what exactly is a special occasion for soap? There isn’t one. So burn that candle, use that soap, eat off that plate and actually use what you have. It will make everyday feel that much more special.

take time to be grateful 

Taking the time to think grateful and positive thoughts throughout the day can completely change your mindset. Make a habit of being grateful for the little things – waking up in the morning, food to eat, clothes to wear – as well as the things that may be ordinarily seen as annoyances, like the rain that the plants so desperately need, or the homework that means you’re receiving an education. 

With a little intention and kindness you can change the world, so get out there and do it, babes!


One of my favorite parts of preparing for the DCP has been making a bucket list for when I get down there. I love to bullet journal, so I bought a brand new notebook for this year and got to work picking out things to do in each of the parks and around the resorts/Orlando. For each park, I made a list of all the shows and rides, plus other experiences I want to make sure to do - such as specific restaurants, tours, etc. - and left some space to add in pictures, Epcot passport stamps, and whatnot.

The gist of it is that I want to meet all the characters, go on every ride, watch every show, and see every animal at Animal Kingdom, plus some more specific experiences only available at Walt Disney World or for members of the College Program.

I’ve seen lots of these lists online, but I wanted to make my own to customize it to my interests. For example, I don’t drink, so drinking around the world at Epcot doesn’t sound very exciting to me. Instead, I’m going to eat around the world at all the snack locations in each country. And I collect Peter Pan books, so one of my bucket list items is to buy a copy of Peter Pan in Orlando and have whatever Peter Pan characters I can meet sign it.

I can’t wait to get to Florida and start crossing things off!


My Bullet Journal Set Up

So some of you have asked me about my bullet journal (I’m looking at you, @munirastudies (and some anons - hi anons!)). Here it is: my set-up!

I previously did a post on my bullet journal at the very beginning of this studyblr, which can be found here. It’s just changed so much since then that I decided I’d post a new one!

- 1 - I’ve got a dotted Leuchtturm1917 A5 notebook in a really dark blue - which fits because I’m Ravenclaw. I was actually planning on painting the house crest on the front cover, but I never got to do it… but I think I’ll do it soon haha.

- 2 - When you look at my bullet journal you’ll see that I have some bright tags there. They really help me find stuff quicker (but they aren’t sticky enough so they often get loose.. I should change that). You can see my tag list in picture

- 3 - and it’s at the very end of the notebook. For those of you who don’t know this system yet, it’s really simple! You just decide how you want to tag that page, for example “books” as I did in mine, and go to the back of your notebook to write it down there. Then you choose a colour and put a strip of washi tape (or I use post it flags) on that page in the back and also on the page you want to tag so that the colours are in one line and you can see them from the outside (god I’m bad at explaining this but I can’t find the page that explained it to me, sorry!).

- 4 - On the first three pages there’s an index, and I use the first page for years and months, then the second page (which you can see in the picture) I use for anything else.

- 5 - Then there’s my key. I have a colour coding system, but I use some colours twice (which is really bad, I know) because there just weren’t enough colours! I have one colour for each subject, then also for other parts of my life like work, family and friends, uni in general and health (which is anything really: when I eat, doctor’s appointments, when I clean my flat etc). There’s also a key for my expenses which I rarely use anymore, and one for how long it took me to do a task which I also don’t use anymore.

- 6 - In this picture, and also the one before, you can see my yearly overview (which I am still so proud of because I thinks it’s really pretty). I only write down really important stuff in there, and things I’m looking forward to.

- 7 - Now we come to the more important stuff in my bullet journal. In this picture you can see my monthly overview. Here I write down everything that happens that particular month, like when I have to work, exams, family and friends stuff, and birthdays etc. I also have space for goals that I want to achieve that month, and an expenses table. This really helps me because often times I would just go shopping for books and stuff and spend so much money (which you can see hasn’t really improved much {{I spent 70€ on books last month?!}}). Now I can see how much I spend and what I should do better next month (like, I should definitely buy less books {{I actually spent more money on books this month and it’s not even halfway through but shush}}). On the next page there’s an example of a weekly overview. This one looks pretty much the same every week (at least the layout). Here are some more examples:

There’s always space for my weekly goals, then a food table where I write down everything I eat (which should make me more aware of what I eat and change my habits of eating - but it kind of doesn’t), underneath that there’s my habit tracker (and you can see I’m not very good at that either), and then there’s some kind of time tracker…? I don’t know what it’s called, I just thought I needed to know how I spend my time each day, like if there’s a lot of pink I’ve been doing a lot for myself (reading, watching movies, listening to music), if there’s lots of yellow I did a lot with friends and family, then there’s days where I was very creative and a lot of the time is purple - or if there’s lots of green (history) and red (English) I did a lot for uni. I really like this one (and I think I came up with it myself, but if someone has already claimed credit I give it all to you haha).

- 8 - Let’s just ignore the fact that this was one of my most unproductive weeks of all time (like, do you see how often I migrated tasks here?!). Just like my weekly overviews, my daily overviews look pretty much the same every week - at least the basic layout. I get bored of a certain layout about halfway through the week, so I try to come up with a new one every week. See how I got an arrow based layout in the orange overview, and kind of tree/nature based in the green one? What I always include is how much water I drink. I try to drink 12 glasses of water, which in my case is about 2,5 litres. Then there’s the basic to do list thing that bullet journals have. I include my colour code here as well, it just makes it easier for me to see what kind of things I have to do each day. Some more examples:

- 9 - I also have pages in my bullet journal that I use for lists, uni stuff, recs, organisation and personal stuff. In this picture you can see my “books to read” list. On the first example picture of the daily pages you can also see my wish list (which only has “money” on it - figures) and a pro/contra list about the two options I have for my stay abroad. Here are some more examples:

My saving goals page (which isn’t really done yet) and my schedule for this semester(which doesn’t have the hours on it):

and a “movies to watch” list (some spelling mistakes included):

- 10 - This last picture is my current spread. I saw this on tumblr and wanted to try it, but my colour code kind of destroys it. Maybe I’ll try it again some time without my colour code… Here’s another picture of the weekly overview:

Wow. This got a little out of hand! I hope you enjoy this :)

Guide to Becoming an Au Pair: The Basics

What’s An Au Pair

An Au Pair is a young adult who lives with a host family in a foreign country and is considered a family member, providing childcare and light household tasks in exchange for free room & board and a weekly allowance. Being an Au Pair is rooted in culture exchange, for that reason Au Pairs usually work minimal hours (15 - 25 per week). It gives you enough time to take language classes, explore the city, and take weekend trips to Ibiza, Munich, Amsterdam or wherever you want to go!

Keep reading

My current issue that I'm having

Should I sell my comic books that I have left and haven’t sold yet or should I just give up throw my hands up and say today is gonna be another day where I go with out eating. I made it up to 125, hopefully I won’t drop back down near 100 pounds before I can make some more money. Once I get around that weight Its even harder to function than it all ready is. No one seems to want to buy the clips I couldn’t upload here so I’m fucked and need to figure something out fast.

Organisation+Study Tips

My Tips for Organisation: 

By getting all of the things on your mind out of there, your memory will begin to improve as you remember things in a much clearer and simple way. I am a student, I don’t have time for complicated long DIY’s!! I just do these things…

1. Write lists.  As stupid as this may sound, make lists! This helps me a lot when I have busy week ahead of me.  I make a list of everything that I have to do over the week, whether it be an assignment or buy some printer ink.  (obviously pin the paper somewhere you can see it and where it is safe).

2. Create your own calendar.  I kept mine nice a simple, that way I didn’t get sick of using it. I simple cut an A4 paper into two and labeled the days on there.   By using sticky notes, once the event is done then the sticky note comes off!  I always find that I never have enough room on store bought calendars for all my stuff so this is a much easier way.  (Do have an actual calendar to keep track of dates for big events and how many weeks away they are etc, much easier than keeping it in your head!)

3. Keep a diary. It is always handy to carry a small diary around with you so if your phone, iPod, iPad, laptop dies, you still have all your plans with you which means making new plans even easier!  

4. Set reminders. Use the tools around you to the best of your ability.  Almost everyone I know has a phone, tablet or laptop with them or uses them everyday. It takes seconds to set reminder so you have no excuse! 

5. Listen to your body.   It’s a great idea to set time aside for studying or working or going to the gym BUT…  listen to your body!  
If you’re having late nights + early mornings, you’re going to feel like crap, no matter how much green tea you drink or how many vitamins you take!  Don’t push yourself to breaking point. Whether you feel stressed or sick, your body is trying to tell you something and you have to listen. 

My Tips for Studying!

1. Prioritise! Using the tips above, it is really easy to figure out what tasks to do in what order. Do you really need to do that essay plan for 4 weeks time when you have an assignment due in 3 days that you haven’t started yet? You may be studying but you’re still procrastinating. 

2. Experiment! There are also thousands of different subjects that require different studying ways.  In general everyone learns differently, if you prefer to draw graphs and have a clean cut black and white information do that! If you prefer to have colourful drawings and textured work then do it! Do what works best for you.

3. Sit at a desk! For years I was convinced that I didn’t like to learn at a desk and I wanted to build a fort and sit in there and emerge as a genius.. but as time would go by, my back would hurt and I would loose focus and it well, it just didn’t work. Plus it makes those exams a lot easier to deal with sitting at a desk!

4. Make Flash cards! Kind of…  cheaper version! Instead of going out and buying expensive cards, use those sticky notes!!! I use my sticky notes to cover long paragraphs in my text books instead of highlighting the pages. Plus, colourful sticky notes are much cheaper than buying all those expensive coloured pens! 

5. Get Motivated! Whether than be by having a coffee or tea or workout, whatever works for you to get in that mood to do some hard work! The worst thing you can do is to try and study when you have no motivation to do so. None of the information will go in and you will be wasting your time.  Make sure you’re eating properly and sleeping enough as mentioned before listen to your body!

I hope all these tips help! I know they are very general but I am more than happy to make suggestions to anyone who would like some advice!  Just for the record I am a full time student, I volunteer twice a week and I also have a part time job! 


Seventeen as shit my parents have told me
  • S.Coups: when I was your age I used to sneak away at night with my friends to the forest to drink vodka not stay at home with my nose in the computer!
  • Jeonghan:'re going to wear THAT to school?
  • Me: what? it's a cute dress!
  • Jeonghan: no. No it's fucking not. go change. NOW.
  • Joshua: I'm getting you a cross, cause sweety you need help, and God may be the only one who can help you at this point.
  • Jun: So, how's your sex life?
  • Me: .....I've never even had a boyfriend/girlfriend yet.
  • //btw this was my dad... //
  • Wonwoo: go read a book and do something with your life.
  • Woozi: I don't care if your taller than me , you still have to obey me when you live under my roof !
  • DK: come on~ don't be so grumpy~ it was only the entire pack of cookies you bought for yourself~
  • The8: yeaaaa... Sureeee... It TOTALLY looks adorable on you... No I'm not buying it for you.
  • Mingyu: can you cook? No? So shut up and eat what I make.
  • Seungkwan: I'm going to borrow your sweater that I'm never going to return cause it suits me much better than you....
  • Vernon: whaaaat~? It's not my fault your butt's so slapable~
  • Dino: what's swag? And why does it sound so sexual?

Yoh, Trolling-since-chernobyl here. I was tagged by my dear salt shaker @reddragonlilly7 (oh, you little…!) but because akane171 blog is boring and I don’t really interact with people here, I will use my salty fam from my side blog. Ohohoh, I’m evil. 

Answer 11 questions, tag 11 people, write 11 questions for them to answer. 

1. How many languages do you speak? Which are they? – erm, if it means “how many I have learnt and can order a beer nothing else”- Polish (my native), English, Japanese, German, French, Italian, Latin. And I more or less I can understand Slovakian, because it’s similar to Polish.
2. What is your dream job or life goal? – my dream job expectation is something low like – give me my money, so I can eat, pay my bills and buy books, so maybe we should focus on my life goals aka living my life and not giving a flying shit. Exciting, I know.
3. If you could hang out with one historical person who would it be and why? – Stanisław Lem, Polish sci fi writer. One of the most amazing, funny and wise people. Can you believe he wrote a story about intelligent POTATOES in space? And I can tell you – it’s simply SPLENDID.
4. If you could murder one person in the entire world - could be anyone, political figure, family member, online - and get away with it, who would it be? -… I seriously don’t hate anyone that much but when the Minister of National Defence for Poland is a mentally ill crazy idiot who hates Russia and loves conspiracy theories… then well, you have your answer.
5. Also where would you bury that son of a bitch? Bury? Lol, I would drop him into ocean and watch how sharks would eat him. I just hope poor fishes would not die because of him.
6. Name 3 characters that died and you truly mourned them. Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallah from the Witcher (damn, it still hurts). Rudy from Stones on the Barricade – based on facts, he was a teenage boy who fought with Nazi Germans, was caught and tortured but he didn’t compromised his friends. They recaptured him, but he died shortly after. We read it in the middle school. I still have depression when I think about it. And Mufasa, no shit people. I’m still traumatized.
7. Which was your fave cartoon character as a kid? – Little My from Moomin series. She is me :D
8. Which is your Hogwarts House? The test said I’m Gryffindor, but my heart and brain say Slytherin.
9. If you had Harry Potter type of magical powers for one day what would you do? – change myself into a cat, climb the tree, sit there for whole day without giving a fuck
10. What is your favorite movie? God, one? You are cruel, sis :( Fight Club or Hana-bi, can’t decide.
11. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? OR alternative question: Who was your favorite teacher? – nope, I haven’t. I seriously liked my Polish teacher from middle school. She was 50 year old, strict lady but she was very fair and hmmm, she broadened my mind. Me and my friend still visit her from time to time and talk about weirdest shit with her, she is truly amazing.

My shit for you:

1.     First thing you think or say right after waking up.
2.     What is worse – your absolute NOTP becoming an end game or your fav character dying?
3.     Thing/person/monster etc. that scared the shit out of you when you was a kid.
4.     The last time you (mentally) facepalmed or rolled your eyes. It happened because -
5.     What would you do, if you met an exhibitionist in park?
6.     Small talks – yay! or BURN IT WITH FIRE!
7.     If you could delete that one blog on tumblr that you absolutely hate, would you do it?
8.     Your favorite guilty pleasure :) *evil laugh*
9.     Would you want to know the date of your death?
10.  Which movie, tv series or book you would want to rewrite or change the ending?
11.   Something you want to tell the world, but so far nobody ask you (you are welcome).

I’m going to torture: @hachievans @robwrecks @i-thought-you-and-i @fluffyotters @whydidyouflyaway  @multigloria @cookie-hearts-with-17stars @itsana00 @pandorasss-box @dylerxobrosey – if someone did it already, please tag me <3

Typical Tales By Untypical Males (SUGA)

Min Yoongi AKA Cute Tutor

You sat calmly infront of the sleeping boy, Yoongi gave you a problem nearly 20 minutes ago for you to figure out on your own but at the rate you were working he manage to fall asleep. When you glanced back up you saw him fast asleep. He was definitely the cutest tutor you had ever gotten. He was one who was smart but didn’t show it until he had to write it down onto a sheet of paper which you could appreciate. He didn’t rub it in about his smarts, didn’t talk down to anyone, and viewed others as equals.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t realize he woke up because you were staring at him. He lightly poked you and you jumped “do you need help” he asked in a groggy voice “oh um” you spoke as you glanced down at the sheet of paper noticing the lack of progress and sighed. “I’m just not good at this stuff” you speak. 

He gives you a smile as he looks at what you had done “this shouldn’t be this hard Y/N” he tells you as he took the pencil from you. He began writing down the steps to it explaining each step carefully and calmly so you could catch up to what he had said. When you finally caught on you stole the pencil from him and started writing down you answer. Yoongi smiled “that is correct Y/N” he tells you as he takes the pencil from you again. 

Your’s and his’ tutor sessions slowly became daily from the two day a week agreement you had before hand because you two began enjoying spending time together. “Do you want to take a break today?” he asks “do you want to go home early or something?” you asked him slightly disappointed “no it’s not like that” he tells you as he scratches the back of his head. 

“I want to take you out for a meal. You know as a good job for all your hard work” he tells you “shouldn’t I be buying you a meal because you have been helping me?” you asked him. “I don’t want you paying for anything for me. Especially food wise. I eat way to much” he tells you before he lets out an odd laugh. 

“Are you sure?” you ask him “yes Y/N I will pay for food” he laughs as he takes your books from you and starts carrying them “I can carry my books” you inform him “I know but I want to” he tells you as you hold the door open for him. “You don’t have to be so nice to me Yoongi” you let him know “I’m aware Y/N I just like helping you” he sends you a smile.

Ok so out of these three scenes

  • the ghost of a man who got his dick chopped off has to be talked out of haunting a home
  • ronald regan’s eye-less ghost makes a brief appearance telling someone to buy gold
  • a guy kills people by turning into a tentacle monster and eating people from the asshole up

two happen in the John Dies at the End series

and i want my followers who’ve never read the books to guess which

do it for science

Books & Cupcakes January Book Photo Challenge

Day 22: Paperback? Hardback? Ebook?

I love my kindle, and I’ve read so much more since I bought it.

The things I love about ebooks: I can carry around hundreds at one time. They can tell me how long is left in a chapter or in the book. Easily read and eat. Read in the dark and I can even turn the page with my nose!

Dislikes: Less books on my bookshelf :( I usually buy additional physical copies of the books I really enjoyed when I can afford to.

desperate situations and stuff;;

hello and sorry for interrupting your dash but i am in dire need of help and assistance by anyone who could give it. for the past summer, the lull between the school years, I stayed at my mother’s who agreed to house me if I could pay for a bill throughout the summer. I agreed and i wish i hadn’t. 

I’ve spent the next two months sleeping on the floor (i’ve slept on the floor for years during my childhood so it wasn’t a big deal) and going to food pantries to keep myself fed. despite wanting to get a job, my sister needed one more to support her family. she hired me as a babysitter and i thought i would be getting paid for watching her children for 12+ hours a day but it turns out she continuously lost her job and never got paid and thus, I never got paid. I spent my days desperately going to plasma care services to donate to get paid little every week. i made a total of 400$ through plasma donation over two months - which was suppose to go to my school books and my dorm supplies. but I ended up paying for my mother’s bill, diapers and food. i had to survive with the little money that i had.

on top of that, due to my academic progress (i took a year off school), my financial aid is on hold for the school year (i found this out in late July). I don’t know if i will be receiving it or not until the 22nd of September. But it’s a 50/50 chance either way. if i don’t receive my financial aid, i will not be able to pay for my dorming. If i cannot live on campus, i will be effectively homeless. fortunately or unfortunately, i cannot continue living with my mother through the school year because she’s demanded that i leave or she’ll call to the police to make me leave (she thinks i eat too much food despite me going to the food pantries) and i am. i am pretty much at the end of my rope. i came out of school in June optimistic for summer school and having a job only to be completely isolated by September.

tl;dr : i have three dollars to my name and I am moving into my dorm tomorrow morning. I have my two luggage of clothes and nothing else. I don’t have money for my books and my dorming supplies, hell, i don’t even have a blanket. i could really use any type of donations at the moment. i will be looking for a job in the next two weeks but i need to eat. I’m really scared and I just. could really use whatever u can give. a dollar or two would buy me ramen, a little more will give my sheets and blankets. and any extra would go to my school books. god i feel so pathetic but i am desperate for help. i just. i feel really alone right now.

my paypal is:
..thank you.

The Expanding Girl

To celebrate (almost) being done with my book, I bought two colorful lipsticks today. Sometimes, when I buy colorful lipstick, I am reminded of what I used to be, and how much I wanted to disappear, to be invisible, and to shrink. I am reminded of how it stings when you don’t want to be seen. I am reminded of wanting to be smaller, of pulling so deep into my own skin, of wasting away. Now, I consume. I want to eat everything I see: experiences, love, sandwiches, people. I want to stretch myself out into the world. It is a good, bright feeling. I can almost remember what it feels like to shrink when I cannot sleep, when I look straight into the dark without adjusting to the light, and when my eyes feel puffy from crying. Still, it is almost foreign. Instead, I just see bright lipstick and if I squint–the ghosts that do not scare me any longer.

We were all bad things at one point, which doesn’t matter as much as the aftermath. The bad things we once were are like heavy, wet pieces of clothing. We might have owned them, we might have even gotten them wet, but they can leave our body. We can take them off. We can feel them on us, but they can be gone, too. I want you to remember the things you used to be, and I want you to propel forward so far away from it you almost don’t remember what it feels like. And if you are still those bad things, remember that beneath those heavy clothes, there is the skin that you always had, waiting to be touched.

Either way, we can push until all we have left is the fuzzy, foggy memory of a body we don’t think fits us any longer.

for anybody who’s noticed my absence lately

I hate doing this. First, I have to tell you that. 

It’s not like my blog has an Aesthetic™ exactly, but I do feel like asking you guys for money violates any kind of style I’ve tried to impose on it. 

However, things really have gotten that bad, bad enough that I’m collectively asking for help. And it doesn’t matter that when it comes to most of you, we never talk–I’m still here, posting this, asking 862 people I love having as followers and know I might lose now. People who I don’t expect to be able to help me. We’re all broke, right? So consider this me shouting into the void.

I live with my spouse and sister-in-law. I have SSDI income, which pays for some, but not all, of our rent. I can’t bring in extra income–which isn’t usually annoying, since if I could work I wouldn’t be on SSDI. But this month I wish I could, somehow…I wish I could find odd jobs, on the internet or in the 1950s or something, to bring in even a tiny bit of money, because when you’re without food funds, $10-15 is a lifesaver. It’s bread and peanut butter, inexpensive pasta. It’s food.

But the point is, there’s not much I can do to help my family right now. My spouse got laid off, as the only working individual among us (my sister-in-law is epileptic and also can’t work. I know, I know, we’re quite the household), and we’re fighting for all our options, including government assistance. We live in Utah, so we’ll jump through all the hoops and still be unlikely to get it. We’ve been down this road before.

So here are the details: 

  • our rent costs $220 more than what I bring in.
  • our internet is $80
  • our bus passes cost $80 for the two of us, and in order for my spouse to get a new job, we’ll need the internet, and at least one bus pass (we don’t own a car).
  • our power is $80
  • our gas bill is $20
  • and my SIL’s seizure medication is $27. 

This doesn’t include my bipolar medication or pain meds, because they’re necessary for me but not, like, SEIZURE-level of necessary. Or on the same level as food. Which you’ll notice I didn’t list with a dollar amount. Because at this point we have no food budget. None. 

My spouse is actively seeking a new job, but after getting one, there’s that period of time where you wait for the start date, then you wait for the first paycheck, and then there’s three people here who need to eat in the meantime. We’ve used up all the strange leftover ingredients we had sitting around, in order to stretch our food supply further; we’re buying only the cheapest versions of what we eat; I’m deliberately going hungry most of the day so that I can eat one late meal and know that the food I do have will go farther.

It sucks. 

It’s not unusual for me–I grew up poor and am miserably familiar with going hungry–but it still sucks. I don’t have the emotional energy to send out queries for my finished book; I don’t have the physical energy to work on my newest book. I don’t have the fangirl energy to hang out here with you guys and make graphics or return to my fic.

We’ve exhausted our options, including asking my spouse’s family for money (horrible, successful, and still not enough to help with more than the rent). I don’t have family to ask. My spouse and sister-in-law ARE my family. Without adequate food or good health, drastic measures like plasma donation aren’t possible. So here I am, doing this. 

My paypal is My spouse’s post about this is here, in case you’d like to see it.

I love you all so, so much. If you can spare anything, even $5, I’d be eternally grateful. If you can’t, and are willing to reblog this, thank you. I seriously really do love you. Even if I don’t know your name, or you don’t remember mine. Especially if I don’t know your name, or you don’t remember mine. I genuinely believe that you’re the best–that’s why I spend all my social time here. :)

Thanks for reading, tumblr. I miss you.

TL;DR If you can help me survive until we have money again, please reblog or send paypal funds to 

I’m fragile and tiny and sensitive today. I’ve spent all day in my room curled up in my bed either sleeping, reading or watching series on Netflix and I have neither showered nor changed out of my pajamas but that’s okay cause sometimes I just need to take care of myself by letting myself take a break from everything. With some assistance I managed to eat three healthy meals during the day and I’m very proud of myself for managing to eat regular and varied meals on such a low-spoons day. Soon one of the personnel will escort me to a local supermarket so that I can buy chocolate bars and other snacks for more curled up snuggling in my bed. I’m watching Master of None and it’s brilliant, only problem being that the one and only season so far doesn’t have nearly enough episodes. I’m almost done rereading Room by Emma Donoghue and it’s an amazing, unique book even though it’s very dark. I’ve also used my move to justify returning to Tinder but so far all my interactions on there have left me unsettled and uncomfortable, so I just may deactivate my account again to protect my mental health.  I hope you’re all taking care of yourself and having a decent day. (No, I do not know why I’m telling you all the little boring details about my very quiet, unproductive day as if this was not a blog about autism but a very boring diary. Please bear with me and let’s hope it passes soon.)

anonymous asked:

do you ever wonder how much money you have given to dan and phil? Like I've been watching dan and phil for 4 years, watch their videos everyday, went to their tour, and bought both of their books. Sometimes I just see a picture of dan and phil and I wonder if I helped pay for the clothes they are wearing, the cereal they eat, and all the cute stuff in their house. I don't mean this in a bad way at all, I love that dan and phil are able to buy things because of me it's the least I can do for them

i think about that all the time actually, i’ve been watching them since 2011, went to tatinof, bought merch, bought the books, so i’m sure i’ve contributed a lot at this point, maybe they’ve used my money to pay rent or buy milk and it makes me happy, i’m mothering them from afar dreams do come true

Promptathon for England!

Do you miss my promptathons?  Do you think, “man, I wish Phoenix would update that darn raptor!verse, I just love exploring a weird bestial attraction to dinosaurs”?  Do you have a lonely prompt that has not been attended to that you’re desperate to read?  Or do you just feel bad for the girl and want to help support her going to Oxford and achieving her dreams?

Hold on to your hats, folks.  Because this Memorial Day I am doing a Big Beautiful Promptathon for England!

How does it work?

Basically, you click my shiny yellow Donate button.  You donate $5.00.  You PM me and say, “I would like this prompt please and I’d like it anonymous” or use your name, let your freak flag fly.  I write you a minimum of 500 words of the prompt of your choosing.  I post it.  


Can I donate more than once?  PLEASE YES.

Can I prompt ANYTHING?  Anything.  Yes, even the forbidden ‘verses I deny exist.  Even the forbidden ‘verses I haven’t discovered and you want me to discover.  

Can I prompt a ship you don’t normally write?  Absolutely, since this is a paid promptathon, any prompt goes.  

Can I prompt something you’ve never ever written for?  Hellz to the yes.

Can I prompt something without donating?  You can, but unless it REALLY strikes my writing muse, I can’t guarantee it will be posted.  

How long will you be doing this for?  I plan on spending my glorious Memorial Day lying in bed, drinking tea, and reveling in the fact that I don’t have to work on this beautiful holiday.  So–all day!  (If you remember my past promptathons, I basically did it for 4-5 hours consecutively with tea breaks)  I plan on starting around 10:00AM central time and going all the way to midnight.  

Why are you doing this?  I am behind on my budget, due to several unforeseen circumstances involving domestic emergencies.  Long story short, my gas bill had been sending my bill to the wrong address…for five months.  Yes.  Seriously.  They removed the late fees but paying a chunk of it pretty much ruined my Oxford savings.  And now I have a month and a half to save up enough so I can eat, buy books, and visit @ddagent.  And get drunk in Dublin.  SUPPORT PHOENIX GETTING DRUNK IN DUBLIN.  

If you can’t donate or participate, PLEASE reblog!  I am in desperate need of your help.  I am so grateful for all of you supporting my dreams, even though it’s meant taking a break from writing.  So let’s have a day where you can get awesome fic AND support my dreams!

Buy my book so I can eat! My partner called it “special,” Donna Marie Riley said it is an “attack on male privilege,” Kiki Nicole said it “documents a side of femininity that isn’t rose colored.”