buy long

8

Based on one of my favorite Phil Cornetto commercial

its basically a series of commercials for cornetto where you try to buy things for less than a dollar and end up getting whats the actual worth for what you paid for

For mobile users translation

Until what can you buy with your 20 pesos?

Jeremy *trying to speak filipino*: Sir, Can I buy a sweater?

Michael: Short sleeves? Long sleeves? Or would you rather have a hoodie??

anonymous asked:

random steve randle hcs??

- he’s that guy who cuts holes in his jeans because it “looks more authentic”
- he adopts stray dogs
- eats an unhealthy amount of m&ms
- reads just as much as pony
- is pretty good friends with Angela Shepard
- he’s been saving for so long to buy a ring to propose to evie
- him and soda met in kindergarten
- soda shared his fire truck with steve
- they’ve been best friends ever since

anonymous asked:

girls get real about hailey. She is in Cannes fucking every rich old guy for money. She also does a bunch of cocaine etc and was heard telling at a friend a couple of nights before "I was fucking him all night long to buy this dress" For real, she is not a great person, well not as great as u make her be. (u said not even ur faves are safe, well start exposing her real side.)

Well there is a hailey as a person post coming

Ita-chan and Big brother Spain spot a handsome Frenchman approaching backstage.

“Beautiful”

“Cute”

2

Look, I lied to you about going to the doctor, okay? I didn’t go to the doctor about my liver. I just haven’t been feeling so great, so, they ran some tests last week. (…) And I got a little radiation poisoning from that dirty bomb that we diffused a couple months ago. It’s fine. The pills you’ve seen me taking, that’s a short term thing. It’s gonna knock it out. All right. (..) he says he’s almost 100% sure there’s gonna be some side effects down the road, you know, but, Danny, we’re talking years down the road, not today. I’m fine right now.

If your animal hurts you, take a step back and ask yourself why

This morning I am typing this with my ring finger, as my middle and thumb are pressing gauze to my index. Please excuse the typos.

I have been blessed with either docile animals and animals that love me dearly. I know I have. And when people at work ask me about hamsters in particular, I tell them I’ve been extremely lucky to never have been bitten.

This morning Bernie decided to tell me that he thinks his cage is more of an apartment and he would like a spacious house more. I knew that day would come - he is a Syrian after all, and very few cages really exist for them - but I was hoping it would take more than two days. I bought the biggest cage that could house him but he is not a fan. He has experienced life outside out of the box he was in at work and goddamn he is gonna enjoy it.

The only cages big enough are only available online where I live and take one to two months to ship. I told Bernie this, but of course being a hamster, he didn’t care. So I gave him a tissue box with a few pulled out, stuck some noms inbetween the sheets, and made a digging cave for him.

Not good enough, man. I booped his snoot, and he bit me.

So first off, hamster teeth hurt like a motherfucker.

Secondly, I wasn’t mad. I did yell out a foul word, but more out of pain than any anger at him. It’s not his fault. He just wants s bit more room AND his cool toys, not one or the other. I left to grab some gauze but I came right back, and took Bernie out, and we had ourselves an explore on my bed, which IS much larger than his cage, obviously. Bernie had a blast. He tunneled under sheets. He tunneled under pillows. He climbed Pillow Mountain. He wanted to rappel down the sides of the Bed Cliffs (Mama said no).

Bernie is now back in his cage thinking he is Hot Shit. And while out of cage time is important, it’s equally important that his actual cage be big enough so that I can work an eight or ten or twelve hour shift and come home and go right to bed, and know that he’s okay and not bored. In the meantime, I’m thinking of going to Walmart and buying one of those long bins used to store sheets and making him a maze out of cardboard. A big maze, with empty passages and passages stuffed with bedding and chambers big and stuffed with bedding to tunnel through. He’d like that. I’ll keep it once the big cage comes in, but hopefully this will tide him over while he lives in the apartment cage.

Bernie bit me to show he was frustrated. He wants to run NOW, not in two hours, not in two months. NOW.

Luna, Apollo, and Aisha, my cats, don’t bite and never have, but they do occasionally scratch. Not on purpose. They’re trying to get down or get up, they slip, or something exciting or scary happens and they need to book it. And it hurts every time.

You’re going to get hurt if you own a pet. You’re going to get bitten or scratched - by them, their equipment, etc. If they’re a bigger animal, you’re going to get body slammed from time to time. It’s okay.

I’m not saying you can’t yell FUCK when the pain hits. It’s actually scientifically proven that that helps lessen the pain. But don’t blame your pets. Look around and try to see it from their perspective. Maybe they’re tired, or something scared them. Maybe they have to pee. Maybe you’re bugging the crap out of them, or they want to play in an animal way, not in a people way. Maybe it was genuinely an accident and your body invaded the space they’d intended to put their body.

It’s okay. Talk to them calmly. Grab a bandaid or some Tylenol. Don’t yell at them. Don’t hit them. Don’t be mad at them. They’re just trying to talk to you and it’s not their fault you don’t speak hamster or bird or lizard, etc etc.

Yaaaaaas my Lazy Fairy Godmother shirt by @c-cassandra came in the mail today! Best buy I’ve made this year, no exceptions! It’s so awesome I really love it 💖💖💖

700 Puffles

Ok, so, when I was a kid, I used to get up to a lot of dumb shenanigans on Club Penguin. I think this was around third or fourth grade; I did a lot of trolly things then. Some of the bans and glitches they had to fix around that time period were because of me and some of my online friends at the time.

We figured out pretty quickly that most of the like, your base-level curse words, y'know the amateur curse words, they’re all BANNED. So we started coming up with more and more inventive ways to express our feelings to the public, so that’s why every once in a while they would roll out an update, and it’s like, “the term ‘bitchbaby’ is now banned”.

And um, what else did I do?

Oh right, so do you know how they had those expansion areas every once in a while? And there would be those little zones and each zone had the same default shop that they copy-and-pasted over.

But there was this one expansion area… it was a cave or mine shaft or something like that. The default shop that they had there, it was Real Glitchy. So I figured out that if you buy seven puffles it gives you some ridiculous number for the price of TWO. So what I did:

I BOUGHT 700 PUFFLES…. And then I gifted them to the other person in the shop whose name I didn’t know and then I waited. And then I forgot about that for, quite a while, and then some time a week later I got a very angry email from said person, with a screenshot of their home, which was floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall, just. Fur. And googly eyes. Like you could see nothing else, it was just puffle everywhere. They were rendering in and out of walls, like some of them were just plain feet, it was – it was an abomination.

And apparently once I read the email their main complaint? Not even the fact that I ruined their fucking household! It was the fact that when they opened the client and saw that, it CRASHED. Their Club Penguin client crashed, and when they opened their house and it loaded and there were seven hundred puffles.

I don’t know if you guys know this but puffles, as cute as they look (at least to some people), the sounds they make are not quite as cute. Especially when there’s seven hundred of them layered on top of each other, rendering in and out of walls emitting a sound collectively scary enough to get Lucifer to piss himself.

And yeah. That’s the story of why there’s a limit of 50 puffles that you can buy.

2

When putting together any kind of job spell, I always include items/herbs for four intents:

  1. Wealth - actual physical currency I can use to pay bills and buy food.
  2. Prosperity - long term ‘doing well for myself’ beyond just ‘having money for food and bills’, but really having at least the potential to Go Places
  3. Luck - because heck knows I need luck in job interviews and to get people to look at my resume and application
  4. Happiness - oh god, I didn’t include this in the first job spells I did, and LEMME TELL YOU, I wound up with a job that paid decently and had lots of potential for promotion, and I ABSOLUTELY COULD NOT STAND my boss or my coworkers, the work itself was awful, and I cannot describe the absolute dread that filled me before going in to every shift.

[Protip: Aventurine has all four of these properties]

me: wow 2016 was a shitty fucking year I hope 2017 is bette–

2017:

me: ooOOOOOOOO